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The Fade


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#1 thismoment

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 12:39 PM

Let's go back to an earlier topic question "Does This Ever End?" started by Pups4Life, referring to discontinuation. The answer could be "yes, no, maybe, sort of, and it seems so".

Perhaps the most accurate 'description' (but not an answer), might be that discontinuation fades to the point where you no longer focus on it-- to where other interests in life become more compelling. Of course that's not an answer, but I believe an answer is irrelevant-- here's why: "Does childhood ever end?" "Does a broken heart ever mend?" "Does the memory of abuse ever go away?" "Do people suddenly alter their worldview?" "Do physical injuries completely heal?" --You see where this is going--

The SS/SNRI experience is a major event in our lives, affecting our most complicated and least-understood organ, the brain. Manufacturers and scientists don't know how these toxins work and what the long-term effects might be. Discontinuation is less about "ending" these toxins, but more about "moving away" from them. We move away from childhood, a broken heart, abuse, a worldview, and a torn MCL. Life is made up of overlapping cinematic fades and dissolves-- no sharp edges, a glacially evaporating denouement.

"I don't know when I realized the dream was over
Well, there was no particular hour, no given day
You know, it didn't go down in flame
There was no final scene, no frozen frame. . .
I just watched it slowly fade away"

The Eagles
Waiting in The Weeds
Long Road out of Eden CD
2007

#2 AnotherMind

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 06:46 PM

yes indeed - we are constantly in flux, an ever-evolving cascade of events and changes.

 

I'm 8 months off Cymbalta now, still navigating my way through some unresolved legacies it seems. I suspect my mind and nervous sytem will never be exactly what they were prior to SSNR's - but then again, it is hard to disentangle where one impact/influence begins and another overlaps.

 

Sorry I ever took Cymbalta for the damage it seems to have done to my digestion and nervous system, but not sorry for the respite from depression it afforded me at the time - the rock and the hard place.

 

We keep on.


#3 TryinginFL

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 06:54 PM

AnotherMind...

 

So good to hear from you!  So it's 8 months now...

 

I must agree that I am also sorry that I ever took this poison as I am not happy with what I am left. It has been over 13 months now and I suffer some pain that was never there before as well as what I would call a more "fragile" composition (crying easily, odd reaction to being in groups of people - none of which I ever suffered at any point in my life.)

 

Please continue to stop back occasionally to keep us updated as this is a great help to our "newbies" and we certainly want to know how you are doing!

 

Wishing you the best,

Liz 


#4 AnotherMind

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 07:32 PM

AnotherMind...

 

So good to hear from you!  So it's 8 months now...

 

I must agree that I am also sorry that I ever took this poison as I am not happy with what I am left. It has been over 13 months now and I suffer some pain that was never there before as well as what I would call a more "fragile" composition (crying easily, odd reaction to being in groups of people - none of which I ever suffered at any point in my life.)

 

Please continue to stop back occasionally to keep us updated as this is a great help to our "newbies" and we certainly want to know how you are doing!

 

Wishing you the best,

Liz 

 Hi Liz

that's very intersting to hear - I'm convinced Cymbalta changes our pain pathways. I too have been left with new pains, different bodily senations and my stomach continues to be a nightmare :(.  I too am more 'fragile'now and have odd reactions to being in groups. But is it time of life or is it Cymblata legacy? - I'm not sure??

 

On the upside - depression has not relapsed, my mind is rebuilding itself and my energy levels are returning.

We can only hope it keeps improving eh!

 

Nowhere can I find a psych or gp prepared to acknowledge or discuss these aspects of Cymbalta!


#5 DoneWithCrap

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 07:55 PM

I love the insight that this topic has stirred up.

 

I, too, am in more pain now than ever before in my life but I was on the Crap for several years. I am getting older and with age your body starts to wear out. In my opinion, the Cymbalta has speed up this process for us. Perhaps while we were numb, we pushed our bodies harder than we should have. I know that when I first started taking it, I felt great. I even built a 30 foot stone wall along the wooded side of my driveway. It was after i was on it for a while when the zombiosis crept up on me and I wasn't organized enough to finish anything I started. Then further into the fog when I wasn't motivated to do more than sit at my computer and play games. I imagine the lack of using my body was as detrimental as over working it during my hyper focused wall building days.... At this point  it doesn't really matter to me. I have the added uncertainty of MCTD.

 

My only goal now is to achieve the least painful, highest quality of life that I can with what I have left. I'm now more aware of the dangers of over medicating, smoking and poor diet. It is up to me to decide to live healthier. Worrying about what has caused me to be at this level of physical and emotional pain won't solve anything. All I can do is learn from my experiences and  not make the same mistakes again.


#6 lady2882Nancy

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 08:57 PM

Interesting thoughts thismoment and some interesting comments that followed.

I have been doing some reading lately that the whole idea of SS/SNRI's may be totally off the mark for some people and depression but until they develop a test to see if we have too little or too much serotonin the push will always be to try these drugs.

 

The brain has an amazing capacity to heal itself but it can't repair what was already genetically or chemically wrong and maybe these drugs just bring out those preexisting problems. When I look at my past I know that I had a mild form of bipolar that didn't interfere with me living my life. I worked and raised my daughter and was quite successful and happy with my life. I also suffered from nerves when meeting new people and now social situations can get the best of me (I hate crowds)

Cymbalta simply caused a preexisting condition to get worse. Unfortunately it is to the point where I can no longer fully take care of myself. Limiting the number and duration of mixed episodes is all my Psychiatrist is promising as long as I do my part.

 

Unlike others my Psychiatrist will and has discussed the role Cymbalta played in my present situation. A mistake was made and it is something I will have to live with. BUT the withdrawals are long over at 23 months off. Yes it was rough but it is over. Learning how to go forward with the new me is the challenge.

 

I had PTSD from a violent assault long before I took Cymbalta so am naturally hyper-vigilant but the Cymbalta didn't cause a re-emergence of this problem but rather my neighbor shooting and injuring one of my dogs is to blame for that. Life is full of these kinds of obstacles and we have to learn to navigate our way around them.

 

As for the pain, well Cymbalta works by blocking the nerves and unfortunately nerves do not heal easily. The nerves that were feeling the pain prior to Cymbalta were under tremendous strain, even ones that were only doing moderate work were suddenly blocked from feeling any serious pain. In stopping this pain blockade we are now bombarding those nerves with signals that they no longer know how to interpret and they rapidly become over sensitized and begin firing pain signals whether there is pain or not.

Massage therapy, acupuncture or physiotherapy are the answers here. This comes under the "been there done that" category lol.

 

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to stop focusing on what Cymbalta has "done to us" and get on with the living as best we can. Sure maybe things are different but then life changes even if you never take any medication of any kind that's just how it is.

 

Take care and be well

 

Nancy


#7 TryinginFL

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 09:18 PM

Nancy,

 

I am out of 'likes' again, but want to thank you for your post.  It helps to hear how it is when the time off the drug is even longer. 

 

I have massage therapy every week and thankfully insurance pays for it, but it is definitely not the relaxing type!  It does help the pain, however.

 

Please continue to post  - I have learned much from your posts and you have been a great help!

 

Liz


#8 DoneWithCrap

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 09:55 PM

Nancy,

 

Thank you for your post. You were able to put the right words to what I was trying to say and when you wrote it, it makes more sense.

 

:hug:


#9 Clara

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Posted 02 March 2015 - 02:33 PM

Great posts all of the above! I am so with you all! Cymbalta and this present Graves Disease has taken my writing creativity. I find it hard to put into words what I feel and want to say! Y'all just said it for me! Never before Cymbalta! But as y'all said, we cannot keep  the living in the past and wondering what if we had never taken the crap. Paxil to begin with and then C. did get me through some rough times, but the long term... Oh my! Thanks for sharing, y'all! God bless!





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