44 replies to this topic

[gail]

CYF,

What an ordeal, could have written that myself at five months of withdrawal. Toughed it till month seven. So I know what you are talking about when you mention dread,or, will I be OK for the invitation, uneasiness, fear and so on.

We don't know if this will pass or not. Mystery. You could be OK tomorrow or going through this for a while.

If you need to go on another ad, only if, choose a long half life one, easier to withdraw, like Zoloft or Prozac.

Hang in there, it is tough, I won't embellish it by saying you will make it without another med but you might.♥

Edited the last phrase, sorry!

[TryinginFL]

CYM,

 

Everything you have mentioned are withdrawal signs.  There is nothing wrong with you.  I am most likely older than you, but the older one is, the longer these things seem to go on.

 

Do you have anything for the anxiety?  I suffered terribly from this and I am about 20 months off now, but it still comes around occasionally.  What you are describing sounds exactly like what I had - the freezing kind and I did take alprazolam at these times.  I was up to 3 mg/day at that point.

 

The urge to cry is very common.  Actually, I still am very sensitive to either happy or sad things  -  they both make me cry. 

 

I never had the sweating, but many have mentioned this.  As far as therapy, I have been working with a therapist (not a psychiatrist) for over 6 years now.  My feeling regarding psychiatrists is that they just want to push pills.  

 

My mind was all over the place too and that lasted for several months.  We are all different, so I am not saying that these things will hang around forever, but you must get lots of rest/sleep so that your body and mind can heal.  Also, drink lots of water.  Patience is the name of the game and there is no time limit for anyone.  It just slowly fades...

 

Please keep posting and keeping us updated...any questions, just ask. We want to help!   

[CymYourFaulta]

Thank you both for listening and writing back. @Trying.. I don't have anything for the anxiety. Well I shouldn't say that... I do have temazapam which I sometimes use to help me sleep and I think some people use that for anxiety but that was never the intention for my prescription. The last thing I want to do is self-medicate. I also have 1 Prozac pill left and 5 Cymbalta 30mg pills left in my collection but I haven't touched either of those. I had a very long phone conversation with my brother who's fought many of these same battles and it helped tremendously. He has a way of kind of "centering" me. Plus he knows me better than anyone and helped me to develop a short term plan in moving forward.

 

I must say today has been a much better day although I didn't wake up that way. I woke feeling anxious but I was able to do some deep breathing and read some affirmations that I've written over the last several years. After about 15-20mins of that my head did seem clearer and less worrisome and I was better able to greet the day. I continue to take it hour by hour now...

 

My current plan is to see if the new pdoc will see me when he's back from vacation next week. Although I only met with him once for a consult I felt a connection or at least that he was sympathetic to my situation (withdrawing from Cym)...

[gail]

CYF,

If the anxiety gets really tough before seing your doc, benadryl total strength will do a good job. One and a half tablet.

Keep posting and its good that you have your brother to help you through this.

And yes, the early morning when we or I wake up, its always the hardest part of the day, anxiety wise. Affirmations are good. I had them all over the house. Keep on posting!

[CymYourFaulta]

I hope nobody minds me keeping a diary on here but it's a good way for me to see where I'm at...
Woke up again today earlier than usual. Seems like I can get to sleep easily but I'm waking up too early. Again had anxiety and couldn't get back to sleep. Laid in bed and did my breathing until it was time to get ready for work. I work from home twice a week and commute to work the other days... taking multiple trains, lots of people, weather conditions all creates more stress and worry. Right now I'm on my first train, breathing and writing hoping my anxiety lifts a bit. I'm also a little uneasy in the belly, like a little nauseous. Man will this ever just go away?

[gail]

Good morning,

Still on the train?

It will lessen as the day goes by while you keep busy and make your affirmations. Post anytime, it is good to communicate with others.
You are not alone in this ride.♥

[CymYourFaulta]

Hi Gail, I'm here at work - 4 trains later. I feel a little better now that I'm here. Continuously fighting...

Thanks for being here.

[brzghoff]

CYF:

 

i have found the Anxiety Guru web site a tremendous resource for dealing with anxiety. it focuses on coping skills and offers a lot of hope. i found it earlier this year. i am not affiliated with anyone having anything to do with the web site - its just been a big help for me in finding solutions instead of focusing on the problem. 

 

http://www.anxietyguru.net

 

The creator of the web site, Paul Dooley, suffered with anxiety for 10 years before finding relief on his own. he was inspired by his self healing to go into counseling and study for his license as a mental health therapist. I think he just got certified.

 

his training has added a lot of substance but his approach is as a fellow anxiety sufferer. He is very positive and encouraging, informative and engaging. He has articles he writes as well as a podcast he produces about once a month and they are all archived on the web site. He can be a little corny, but that's kind of endearing. i find him engaging and laid back. his podcasts are comfortingly conversational. while he does have a couple of inexpensive e-books available for sale, that is not the purpose of the web site. in fact its the sale of the publications that pay to support his expenses and maintain the web site. There are no ads on the site - at least none that i've ever noticed.

 

i highly recommend his latest podcast, The Power of Anxious Thinking: http://www.anxietygu...xious-thinking/ its about an hour, the first 6 min or so is just chit chat, but then he gets into the meat of his topic. there is an article and then at the bottom a link for the podcast on that topic. the actual podcast section is the archives - also good stuff in there.

 

i recommend everyone check it out it. while it may not be helpful to all, its worth a look. 

[CymYourFaulta]

@brzghoff, thanks a million. I just subscribed to his podcast and will listen on my commute home today. You guys are a god-send. I appreciate all your support.

[CymYourFaulta]

Well.... another day another 50 cents.... ho hum... awoke earlier than usual again (but still slept about 6 hours) and battled the same level (maybe even more) of anxiety as previous few mornings. Listened to a podcast from the above site and ordered one of his books. Its a little after 12 noon right now. I'm very tired. I feel the anxiety lifting a bit. So weird... yesterday at this time after coming out of the "funk" I was so much more engaged at work, with people, not so worried, just me being free and loose. I wish I knew where this was coming from and how better to get my arms around it. I'm learning about acceptance, self-talk, breathing... but as we all know they don't always work.

 

Hope everyone out there is having a better day than me.

 

PS It doesn't help that its the 9/11 anniversary either. I try not to watch the memorial services on TV but its on wherever you go. I was there btw and wondering if I suffer from some kind of PTSD from it. I don't think I do but I've never been good at knowing how things affect me.

[brzghoff]

Well.... another day another 50 cents.... ho hum... awoke earlier than usual again (but still slept about 6 hours) and battled the same level (maybe even more) of anxiety as previous few mornings. Listened to a podcast from the above site and ordered one of his books. Its a little after 12 noon right now. I'm very tired. I feel the anxiety lifting a bit. So weird... yesterday at this time after coming out of the "funk" I was so much more engaged at work, with people, not so worried, just me being free and loose. I wish I knew where this was coming from and how better to get my arms around it. I'm learning about acceptance, self-talk, breathing... but as we all know they don't always work.

 

Hope everyone out there is having a better day than me.

 

PS It doesn't help that its the 9/11 anniversary either. I try not to watch the memorial services on TV but its on wherever you go. I was there btw and wondering if I suffer from some kind of PTSD from it. I don't think I do but I've never been good at knowing how things affect me.

 

CYF:

 

sounds like you found the pod cast helpful given that you ordered a book! i hope it helps. sounds like when you are engaged at work - around other people - you feel much better. same with me. social situations are almost like an instant cure - the closest thing to a magic pill for anxiety (for me that is).

 

i am 55, was on cymbalta for ten years and other antD's for 8 years prior and had a huge problem with anxiety after i quit the C - which still haunts me at times. i quit in may of 2014 and still have my moments. usually when i am in a higher than normal stressful situation.

 

you mentioned that acceptance, self-talk and breathing don't always work. certainly not right away, just like most things, the behavioral, physical and thought-centered therapies take time. sometimes a lot of time. its all about practice. whatever we practice we get good at. for me, the more negative/pessimistic my thoughts - i get real good at being anxious - which is real easy for me to do. however, i've found that over time - months - the more i work on reducing catastrophic thinking - i get good at being less anxious. it is definitely a process. i thought that i read at one point that you thought CBT didn't work well for you. how long were you in therapy? did you try more than one therapist? i went through four therapists over 8 years before i found the right one to help with my depression and he is the one who helped get me through the worst of my anxiety once i came off cymbalta. i don't think it usually takes that long for most folks. it was CBT that led to my ability to get off anti-depressants. i only see him now "as-needed" which isn't very often. did you ever attempt any type of counseling related to your 9/11 experience?  i can't imagine what that was like to be there. i am so sorry.

 

mindfulness and similar meditations help too. not in the full throes of serious anxiety, but when i notice that queazy uncertainty is starting to grow mindfulness can snap me back into the present rather quickly - for the moment ;-)

 

the behavioral aspects of treatment have been the most effective by far- but its not overnight.  i never took any benzos but did use benadryl here and there early in my withdrawal when i could afford to suffer the drowsiness that comes with it. 

 

i no longer take any antiDs but am currently on a mood stabilizer which i hope to wean from soon. i also take clonidine, just .1 mg at night. my doc just told me how to wean from that today, so i'm gonna go for it as i think i don't need it anymore. only reason weaning is needed is to prevent a blood pressure spike. its a pretty innocuous drug.  i just used it to get me to sleep.

 

one other thing… look up Glenn Harrold. He is a british hypnotherapist and offers a couple of free apps that might be helpful as well. i know they are on the iTunes app store, and likely google play and other app sources as well. i like them a lot. if nothing else, they really help you get to sleep. he has one free one that is for anxiety that runs about 22 minutes. he has two free apps for sleep one is about 12 min the other about 25 minutes. you learn to conduct your own self-hypnosis. its all about suggestion and affirmation. you are in total control. i at first thought they were kind of goofy stereotypical "you are getting sleepy" sessions, but they are really good and work for me. 

 

all the best - and keep posting. having a diary is great therapy!

[CymYourFaulta]

Hi again, just checking back in tonight. Today was kinda rough, pretty much floating anxiety all day with a few mins of clarity here and there. Im starting to wonder if this even is anxiety. I really don't know but think so from what i've been reading/feeling. @brzghoff thanks so much for your reply… but to kind of reiterate i don't think its the "being around people" where i do better. Its when i feel the anxiety or whatever it is lifting, i just feel more like myself and my interactions are what they've always been or maybe even better due to the sense of relief that suddenly washes over me. I don't know if that makes sense but its the best way i can explain it.

 

As far as CBT and therapists i've had many, on and off since I was a young adult. But only 2 to 3 that i ever stuck with for a considerable amount of time. I learned some things along the way of course but invariably would stop therapy once i felt like i was just repeating the same stuff over and over again or thought i didn't need to go anymore. But to be honest I wasn't necessarily going to therapy for anxiety, i was going for self esteem type stuff. I have learned a thing or 2 about myself but like you were saying practice makes perfect and when things are good I tend to just go forget about all that. That being said I am trying to get to see someone and hopefully will get an appt next week or a referral because i think i need something to help get me through this time.

 

Thanks for the advice on the hypnotherapy. Maybe i'll take a look at that at some point. Can't handle too much at once It seems you've had quite a journey and are doing well which is inspiration for me. I appreciate your advice and encouragement.

 

Thanks so much.

[gail]

CYF,

You are so good at expressing what you are going through, I have admiration for that.

It's like explaining an mystical experience, no words can explain what it is you really feel then.

When you say, "whatever it is lifting" be sure that I understand what you are talking about. Rather indescribable. As I can see, you are very near to yourself. Sorry, trying to translate from french to English.

You are right about Brz, she has come from a hell of a long way! Chapeau Brz!

I hope that you have a good night sleep♥

[CymYourFaulta]

@gail, thanks for your kind words and no problem with translation… i think your english is fine  dA couple of lines about my day, i was able to get a good nights rest… slept a solid 6.5 to 7 hours uninterrupted which NEVER happens. I wanted to sleep more but couldn't as the racy, worrisome thoughts took hold almost immediately. Tried my best to accept them, listened to a couple of "anxiety guru" podcasts which have a way of soothing. Today i played golf with a very good friend. I was pretty anxious about it… worried about walking the course, getting tired or kind of "losing" it in front of people but I was able to reason with myself and not give in to those thoughts. After all, i've never had these issues up until a couple of weeks ago so why should this all of sudden stop me i thought. Long story short i did have several anxious moments throughout the round/day but was able to talk to myself, accept them for what they were and not allow my mind to take me to a place of dread. it was hard at times but i did it! I didn't pass out, i didn't freak out, i didn't play that great but really who cares? thats not whats important right now.

 

Back home now and hopeful for a peaceful night going forward.

 

I hope you all are doing well and are having a great day!

[gail]

Hi CYF,

Isn't this a period of hard work just to get through an ordinary day?

We see people around us and it seems so easy.

I learned to never take for granted what seems so ordinary for others.
It teaches you things that you would not learn otherwise.

I am happy that you had a good night sleep and we have to learn to forget about the first hours of waking up. It does not mean that the day is spoiled.

It definitely changes our viewpoint on life! Oh, but yes.♥