102 replies to this topic

[gail]

Hi Amy,

Don't you worry about the ativan, as FH said, you need a break now.

I went up to 3 mg in withdrawal instead of my original dose of 1.25.

When the time is right, and you will know, only then can you begin to taper slooowly. Amy, you need to get that anxiety down. If it's ativan, let it be!

Michgirl, prayers for you tonite, and I know that FH and Liz will do the same.♥

[Michgirl]

Ok.  Ok.  Ok.  I can do this tonight.  I'll be ok.  Thank you for the info.  I am also assuming you mean that I can take an Atarax now and one later tonight along with the Ativan.

[Michgirl]

If your still on can you clarify for me.  I should take 2 mg of Ativan and get sleep along with 25mg of Atarax?  or I should take 25mg of Atarax now and then again later before bed and 1 mg of Ativan as normal.  I know your not docs but I'm not sure I trust docs who aren't going through this.

[TryinginFL]

Amy,

 

I don't know if this is helpful, but I took up to 3mg Alprazolam (Xanax) during the worst periods of anxiety

 

I thought I would never get over it, but I did...

 

I'm sorry I can't answer your question about the Ativan

 

Sleep well ...

 

 

Love, hugs and prayers

 

Liz

[fishinghat]

Sorry I missed your post Michgirl.

 

I meant one Atarax during the day when the symptoms get too bad and then one 25 mg Atarax at bedtime with your normal bedtime Ativan (I think you said you normally take 2 mg). Anyway I hope that is what you did. Is there a particular time of the day that your anxiety is usually worse?

[Michgirl]

Hi Liz, Nancy, Fh and everyone else -

 

I finally slept last night!  A full 7 hours for the first time in I don't know how long (9 very long months maybe).  I'm sorry I didn't write sooner to let you know.  I took 37.5 mg of Atarax and 1.5 mg of Ativan and something called Natural Calm powder.  I can't not thank you all enough for supporting me and seeing me along this journey.  As long as I get sleep I plan to stay the course on healing my brain naturally and off of these drugs for as long as I can.  

 

I see my new therapist tomorrow and I'll see ow this goes.  I'm ready to work at CBT and how I think about think life.  I will search for a new pdoc (or maybe just another physician) who can see me in a new light and work with my desire to be off meds or at least not on these heavy duty ones.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  I pray the worst is indeed over and I sleep again tonight.

 

fh - I'll have to figure out when the anxiety comes on during the day.  I'll try and see if I can pin point when it happens over the next several days.

[Michgirl]

By the way - any suggestions and finding a solid doc who is willing to work with people who are wanting to heal in different ways before putting them on meds?  Again, I'm not opposed to meds and I certainly don't think meds are a bad thing.  But I'd like to see how I am without them first before going on something to help.  

 

Be thinking with me on how to wean the ativan at some point.  Right now the goal is sleep and stability.  One step at a time.  I just feel that I'm not going to have a whole lot of medical support with the exception of my holistic practitioners.  I've weaned off of Ativan before and I can do it again this is just a bit different.

 

Be well everyone.  I am thankful for you all.

 

Amy

[gail]

Hello Amy,

I would start with a health food store, they know so many different holistic practionners.

That would be my best bet, good luck in your search.

[Michgirl]

Hi everyone -

 

You probably assumed I either made it through the other side or had to go back on something.  So...Where have I been?  Literally trying to save my life.  My psych doc sat down and talked with my husband and I for 2 hours, has been on the phone with me or meeting for an hour in person over the past 2 months to get me stable.  I was to the point of hospitalization 3 times for suicidal ideation and had to go on Seroquel to calm things down.  I am now having to taper over from Ativan to Clonazepam and going up on Lamictal slowly and down on Seroquel.  I hate all of it but I had to choose between life and my family or death.  I feel like I let you all down.  After much discussion we feel I fall on the Bipolar Continuum - Bipolar 2.  It's a catch all I realize but you should have seen me:  46 year old woman, normal to all who see me, mom of 3 beautiful girls falling literally apart and at the end of what I could take without calling life quits.  I hope I don't have to go on an SNRI but I'll leave that to the good Lord.  All in all my psych. doc has shown such compassion in all of this.

 

Love,

 

Amy

[fishinghat]

WOW  Incredible Michgirl. You did NOT let us down. You gave it your best shot and that is all anyone can do. Seroquel is easier to come off of than the rest. The clonazepam can be one of the toughest benzos to get off of but when you get ready let me know and I will introduce you to water titration. A very effective way to get off of a benzo. I am glad you did what you did. Nothing is more important than your health and family.

 

Please keep us posted. Once your body gets use to things maybe you can reduce some of the meds. God Bless and take care.

[Michgirl]

I conveniently left out that although the doc hated to do it she suggested I take some Remeron to help with the crying spells.  I'm not sure it's helping all that much but she is going up on it very slowly b/c she thinks that way back in the day when I had Post Partum Depression that my family doc gave me Serotonin Syndrome with Zoloft. I might as well tell it all - I have nothing to loose at this point.  Even the pharmacist cried when she heard my story.  By and by I'll get onto the right things.  I have my faith in a good Lord.

 

Amy

[lady2882Nancy]

Hello Michgirl

 

Do not feel like you have left anyone down here. My trip with Cymbalta did the same thing to me.

I understand the mess you were in as I too was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 when everything fell apart coming off. There I was just shy of 52 and being told that I had Bipolar 2. I could not believe it at first but my psych doc is wonderful and has explained it all to me as to how this could happen.

 

Here I am now 3 plus years off the Cymbalta and 3 years since I finally got the right doc and the right help and things are looking much better. I had some real lows along the way but in the last 6 months things have steadily improved.

 

It can be a bit of a battle to get the right combination of meds to treat the Bipolar 2 but just give it time and it will all settle down. I just had to do some little tweaking to my meds but when you have the right psych doc on your side it makes all the difference in the world.

 

Take care of you

 

Nancy

[FiveNotions]

Oh my, Michgirl, how much you have been through, and are still going through ... wish I could reach through the computer and give you a huuuge hug ! 

 

Please don't ever think / fell that you've let anyone on this forum down ... it doesn't work that way here ... this is a safe place, a haven, a sanctuary ... I'm returning for a "forum break" since late last fall ... I got off of crapalta in 2014 (hell year), and then, from last Nov to this Feb, also got off of Wellbutrin ... now I need to return here ... because I need to be back amongst friends who understand what this journey is like ...

 

you've got a plan, and are working through things bit-by-bit ...there's no single "right way" to do this ... what matters is to choose life ... choose to live ... and if meds are necessary, so be it ...

 

it's such a blessing that you've got a good doc, and a supportive husband ... and you always have this forum ... 

 

Keep coming back, keep us posted !