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Making Your Spouse Understand


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#1 AJH54

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Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:35 AM

I think it is very difficult for people who are not going through it to understand what the people who are. This is why I think communication with the other person is vital.

#2 AJH54

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Posted 16 January 2008 - 12:39 AM

There is a site that I think would be helpful. It is http://www.dailymotivator.com
I read it every morning when I get to work. I hope someone here can find this comforting.

#3 ariel08

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 12:13 PM

My husband's been less than supportive. He pays lip service to the IDEA of giving me help..... but somehow has lately been less helpful than he usually is. The dishes stack up, the pets don't get taken care of, etc.

Since normally he's very helpful with household stuff, I can only think this is a sort of passive-aggressive response to my quitting the meds. His first response when I brought up the idea of quitting was panic that I would be stopping the anti-depressants, and the next response (a few days later) was to ask if I could talk to the doctor about increasing the dosage, instead of quitting.

He's a psych doctor, and even if he's never gone through withdrawal, he still gets to work with patients who are, so he knows it's a difficult process. And he's been a tremendous help when I've been physically ill before. It feels like a huge betrayal that he's doing this, this time.

OK.. so.. It's not the first time I've had to make decisions like this on my own, and follow through on my own. I can't say this has been the worst, but it's on the top five list for sure. It's the first real life-changing decision I've had to make on my own, in the 12 years we've been together.

Eh, I know I'll get through it, with or without his understanding/help. I've been getting outside moral support from the friends I can talk to about this. And being able to talk about it online helps a lot, too.

I'm learning, as the withdrawal winds down, that I'm REALLY pissed off at my husband, and I don't know what's going to happen to the relationship when I'm done. For now, the focus is simply on getting through this, and taking care of what I can, and most of all, taking care of myself.

#4 Susan

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Posted 27 January 2008 - 09:52 AM

Ariel~ My heart aches for you. It must be incredibly difficult to be going through this with a psych. doctor in the house. I can't imagine that. My husband tends to look at the positive outcome, but not the day to day, living with the withdrawals. He is supportive, mind you, it is just that he is always focused and saying, "this will be better in the long run." I know he is right, but sometimes it hurts, and I feel like I am going through this alone. Congratulations on being so strong. Keep posting.

#5 artistteacher

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Posted 01 February 2008 - 03:33 PM

I don't think my spouse considers it a problem that I've stopped cymbalta; he doesn't notice particularly how ill it makes me to be going through this process. Dinners I prepare are simpler, my energy for life's challenges is lower, I cannot sleep so go to the couch to suffer alone and not disturb his rest. His is not a caregiver personality, and that will not change. I'm getting my center back and have no expectations that he will notice, help, or try to understand, as he is deeply self-involved and besides is cut off in his own little cymbalta bubble, which insulates him for so many things. My 14 y.o. daughter does notice the changes I'm going through; it was her concern that gave me the idea that I might look up online if others were having a bumpy ride stopping the cymbalta. It is extremely helpful for me to read that the challenge of this process is quite real, and I am grateful for this forum. I am also grateful for my daughter's clear-eyed assessment and for her concern. I want to model strength and success for her, not the kind of weird limbo I've been in on the truly odd, it seems to me now, cymbalta.

#6 ariel08

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Posted 03 February 2008 - 12:09 PM

Ariel~ My heart aches for you. It must be incredibly difficult to be going through this with a psych. doctor in the house. I can't imagine that. My husband tends to look at the positive outcome, but not the day to day, living with the withdrawals. He is supportive, mind you, it is just that he is always focused and saying, "this will be better in the long run." I know he is right, but sometimes it hurts, and I feel like I am going through this alone. Congratulations on being so strong. Keep posting.


Yes, it does make it difficult - especially as unexpected as it was.

Y'know, when the meds make you think you're going to die (yep, they did that to me)... honestly and literally die... and you're not sure if you're going to wake up the next morning, it gives you a different perspective on life.

I've started putting my intentions out to the Powers That Be that it's time for me to move on. It will be interesting to see where I'll be this time next year.

#7 ariel08

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Posted 03 February 2008 - 12:14 PM

...he is deeply self-involved and besides is cut off in his own little cymbalta bubble, which insulates him for so many things. My 14 y.o. daughter does notice the changes I'm going through; it was her concern that gave me the idea that I might look up online if others were having a bumpy ride stopping the cymbalta. It is extremely helpful for me to read that the challenge of this process is quite real, and I am grateful for this forum. I am also grateful for my daughter's clear-eyed assessment and for her concern. I want to model strength and success for her, not the kind of weird limbo I've been in on the truly odd, it seems to me now, cymbalta.


I hesitate to suggest this, since I don't work very well with 12-step groups. But .... I know they work for quite a lot of people. So, having said that, I'll ask if you've considered a local Al-Anon group or something similar...... When you're healing from an addiction, and having to deal with a SO who continues to sail along in that addicted bubble, sometimes it can be a lifesaver to be able to share with others about all you're going through. Your daughter might even want to go with you.

#8 wandap

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Posted 03 February 2008 - 01:26 PM

Call me simple minded but if I were that hubby, my main thought process would be 'Oh my God! I've got to get off this stuff before it kills me!' If I saw someone going thru what we are going thru and I was taking the SAME meds? You better believe I'd be off TODAY and we'd go thru it together. I could not keep taking a pill that I knew caused this. I know that this experience has taught me a very, very valuable lesson. It will be hard for any dr to get me to take any meds from now on that I am not completely 100% comfortable with and I know I need it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Hell, I'm eyeing everything now! I went into this like a lamb, doing as I was told without worrying about it. After all, they are doctors. That is the reason they have MD after their name and I don't, right? Not anymore! I will be much more proactive BEFORE taking anything.

#9 whatanightmare

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Posted 10 February 2008 - 07:20 PM

My husband did all of the initial research online about Cymbalta withdrawal ... because my eyes and that brain-tinnitis thing were driving me crazy!! So he knows even more about it than I do and has been very supportive because of it.

However, my anger is something to behold. I go into a RAGE so easily. ANGER!!! I am normally a very nice, cheerful, patient person. Not anymore!!! I've never felt anger like this and it has been weeks now. I wonder how long it will last?

#10 chuckiesd

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Posted 04 March 2008 - 07:33 PM

Ariel~ My heart aches for you. It must be incredibly difficult to be going through this with a psych. doctor in the house. I can't imagine that. My husband tends to look at the positive outcome, but not the day to day, living with the withdrawals. He is supportive, mind you, it is just that he is always focused and saying, "this will be better in the long run." I know he is right, but sometimes it hurts, and I feel like I am going through this alone. Congratulations on being so strong. Keep posting.


Hi Ariel,
I not easy for certain people to see thier spouse get hurt. Everything that you hubby do is for you and the family. I see your hubby has a git effort for it. What he saying is for the future. Please think about it. And always think about that and you will be better.

#11 That1TyGuy

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Posted 09 March 2008 - 08:40 PM

I'm sure just like anything with a drastic change it can be very hard to deal with someone with something like this but I know for those that try to help the sufferer deal with the problem will be long lasting and hopefully bring the two closer together.

Wish you guys all the best!

#12 Lori

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Posted 05 May 2008 - 06:34 AM

I realize the posts here are not very recent, but since I like to ramble, I thought hey....here is a subject I can relate to. My boyfriend has always been supportive. He does not understand what I am going through but he knows its the medication. I am on day 23 without Cymbalta after weaning from March 12-April 12. It has been a nightmare for both of us. He has stood by my side, has come to my aid when I needed him, he has read some of these posts on here, I have printed out things for him to read. He bought me alot of flowers, seeds, little fencing, so I will have a flower garden to work in. This was to keep me out of bed during the day and to help calm me. This weekend, our relationship nearly blew up.

I will back this up a bit. I was cheated on by both husbands. The first one I did not find out about til after the divorce. The second one beat me for 13 years and cheated on me. I decided to live life without a man in my life for 6 years. I devoted my life to my children, my grandbabies and my job. I thought I was healing but I guess I was hiding....that is until he moved into the neighborhood and came bebopping over to my house with a bouquet of roses. The problem I have with us is our age difference. He is 12 years younger than I am. I have always had my insecurities with the age difference and of course I did not heal from my past marriages....so sometimes I would have my insecure days but it seems the depression/anxiety (that was created by being on 3 times the allowed dosage of Provera for a month) and the withdrawal from the Cymbalta, has amplified my feelings and insecurities.....to a very unhealthy level.

During this awful time, I have checked up on him, checked out his phone calls, went through his phone, went to his job site, followed him....have basically been on a mission to prove he is cheating on me. I can not find anything on him. I continue to accuse him of everything from A-Z. The worse I feel, the more I accuse, the more I push, the more I think...he must be cheating. When he leaves the house, my chest starts pounding, I get hot and red in my chest, my neck, head and face. Then the bitter angry text messages start. I harass him at work.

He has been understanding, tries everything he knows to prove he is a good honest man to me.....this weekend he had had enough. Too, his two best friends and co workers have been given a job in South Carolina, and they really like me, but they were good for him to talk to. With them knowing both of us, they helped him "hang in there". Thursday was their last day here. So he has that to deal with too. Not only have I been unstable since July, his daughter is special needs and is either giving me a hard time, including hitting me when I remind her to clean her room, get her teeth brushed....etc before the bus comes. If she is good for me during the day, the school catches hell, if she is good at school and for me, the bus catches hell. He has sole custody of her.

He has been supportive up until this weekend. Enough is enough. I am literally terrified as to what this week will bring for me, for us. I am in the process of getting help through his daughters therapist. My insurance ran out. I think alot of my anxiety comes from the fact that when he met me, I was a hard working woman, doing things on my own, taking care of myself, happy and energetic to a woman who has lost her job due to the Provera, can not concentrate, can not remember anything, stayed in bed alot during the brain zaps, I am confused alot of the time, I feel like an idiot....so I am not the person he met. I asked him this weekend, why he stayed with a woman who made his life a living hell.....he said you dont just stop loving someone when they get sick and he is hanging on to me getting better. He has innocently added more anxiety in my life due to the fact that I feel like I have to get better right now!!! But I am trying to see it differently than to see it as something I fear. I am trying to see this as a new beginning and a new way of looking at my way of handling the withdrawal side effects. To first stop and make sure anything I say is validated. I panic if I have not heard from him within an hours time. Stop and think.....is he possibly up in the bucket truck cutting limbs from power lines, or in my warped mind, has he really taken that hour to run find a woman? Sounds simple doesnt it?

Well, I am done with this post. I realize that nothing I said was of any help or value to anyone reading it, but it helped me to get this off of my chest. I do wish our familes knew exactly what we were dealing with, but then again, like Babby said, then they would have to be on this medication and we would not want them to go through this. I just took a few minutes to call my 6 year old grandson to tell him to have a great day at school, like I have been doing for 2 years now. I really have so much to be thankful for and I just want to share this with you. I did not watch the race Saturday night, so I asked him...."Who won the race, Saturday night?" His response, "Clint Boyer won, Denny Hamlin got a flat tire and Kyle Bush wrecked Dale Earnhardt Jr."....my response, "Oh WOW, and they are team mates!"....."Grandma, Kyle Bush is with Joe Gibbs now, well, I love you and hope you have a good day too." He just cracks me up! He knows his NASCAR and will give me a play by play later when he has the time. LOL

God is good to me. I sit here, with my front door opened, and I hear the birds chirping outside. I have God and my boyfriend to thank for that luxury. Last year, I told my boyfriend that because of all the stray cats (that I am at fault for feeding in the first place) we do not see or hear any birds in this neighborhood. On top of the flowers, he bought me bird feeders and bird seed. Please God, help me be good today and enjoy everything I have been given. My prayers are with you.

#13 Lori

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Posted 05 May 2008 - 08:50 AM

Thank you, Greybeard, and I hope the same for you.

#14 Lori

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 08:21 PM

I posted somewhere else that Wednesday afternoon, I asked my boyfriend if we were over, and he said Sure, we will be out in two weeks. We are both sick and tired of the Cymbalta side effects but some of our problems go farther back than that, the withdrawals just made things worse....to an out of control level. The problem really is with me, so I can not say he has not been supportive. He is angry because I never got the help I needed, and still need. I need a therapist to help me come to terms with my abusive/adulterous past. It is hard for me to trust anyone. The accusations I throw at him and the fear I feel is unhealthy, although I have got most of it under control, still those things need to be dealt with. I should not have to live my life, TRYING to contain a fear that should not be in my life in the first place.

He says he is leaving, but today he bought another shed for the yard, saying we have too much stuff, he asked my son and his BRAND NEW WIFE, if they wanted to go with us to the air show next month. He told my daughter that he was not really leaving.....as I told Mary, I think he is playing doctor or God, and maybe at some point we do have more control over things we say than we think. He wants me to beat this Cymbalta bull crap, so I guess he is grasping at straws. It has helped me become happier. At first I had to work on it, but then it just became natural. Even though we all keep telling ourselves and each other that it is NOT US, ITS THE DRUG!!!! Still, I have so much guilt for what I have done and how I have felt. So I do not approach him, I am not the first to hold his hand, kiss him, tell him I love him, hug him......I tend to wait for him to do that because I do not feel worthy after all I have put him through, but that was one of the things eating at him. He told my daughter he felt that I did not love him anymore because I would never initiate any of those things. Yea, I am putting my life out there again, but if this sounds familiar to any of you, especially new people, then maybe my post may help you in some way.

Anyway, I think we will be ok. We have had three great days together, yesterday was my sons wedding, today we went to a family reunion and we stopped in to see my aunt and uncle and he ended up mowing their yard for them....so all in all, its been a great three days. He was not raised in the church, but this afternoon, he asked me if his favorite 'church jeans' were clean for him to wear tomorrow to church. So I sense tomorrow will be another great day. My aunt and uncle have not seen hide nor hair from us in months and we used to visit them all the time. My boyfriend simply said, that we were so wrapped up in our own problems that we just felt we were of no use to anyone else. That made me feel bad, then I explained to my aunt what has been happening with me the last few months, while my BF and uncle were outside working on the mower. THEN, I explained to my uncle, while my BF mowed the yard, just what Cymbalta has done to me, and the sad thing is, he is on Cymbalta for pain in his feet. I can only hope and pray he does not suffer like we have. They were very understanding and told me they were so sorry we were going through this, and she told me I deserved to be happy and to open my eyes that my BF is here for the long haul. So, anyway, I do have so much family support and I am realizing I am stronger than I thought. But gosh, its so much easier to go to bed when things get rough. :lol:

Greybeard, I have been reading some of your posts and I am so proud of you and how far you have come. I am so impressed with the advice you gave the young pregnant girl....I smiled all the way through the post. Your mind seems so clear and I know I will not be far behind you, in healing. Although I do have some additional issues to deal with very soon. Digging up my past wont be fun, but I CAN DO IT!!! Goodnight to all of you and my thoughts and prayers are with you all the time.

#15 Lori

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Posted 20 May 2008 - 09:58 AM

I dont have to tell him what you said, do I, Greybeard? :lol:

#16 Lori

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 06:21 AM

You are exactly right, Greybeard. He does know. He has mentioned a few times over the last year how he wished his Mama knew the man he was today. I said to him....she knows.

#17 Lori

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 07:13 AM

If I had not had the 'withdrawal confussion' I would have realized that he may not have been handling things very well on the inside. Thus, the reasoning for him buying me the chihuahua puppy, flowers, seeds, bird feeders...etc....it was his way of helping me help myself in a way. Does that make sense? So I cant say he was supportive...but what is my definition of supportive? I yelled at him once, telling him that he was not supportive, in a fit of anger......He yelled back and told me that he had been here with me every step of the way, he's out working, supporting us, having to deal with mean text messages all day, come home to someone who is either angry, not speaking or in bed. When I first started with the mood swings he bought me a pair of cowboy boots, and two weekends later I had another rough time, and he took me to buy me a cowboy hat...my son said, Wow, Mom, if you continue to be a bitch, you might end up with the horse.... :D But looking back, I see he was as supportive as he could be. I dont know what I was expecting. I guess I was thinking supportive......if I scream and yell at you for no reason, accuse you of stopping to be with another woman because you are 5 minutes late (I wasnt too bright during those times, obviously), if I snap at you because I am out of control, I expect you to be happy, upbeat, and loving.....NOT happening. Did the Cymbalta scare me? Was I not terrified by the things I was doing and saying? Then of course, its going to have its negative impact on those who witness it. During the time, I did not feel like he was supportive, he was 'just there'....but he could have been 'just somewhere else'....so he was definitely supportive. If we ourselves have to keep telling ourselves, ITS NOT US, ITS THE DRUG.....then I would venture to say, our family members had to continue to tell themselves the same thing. But I am sure, that even if it was the Cymbalta.....the things I did, and the things I said, hurt, frightened and angered him to the core. Personally, I think he was faced with something his big shoulders could not carry, but he did great.

Notice how I used past tense in my speaking of the cymbalta? Thats a good thing!!!

Day 40 and I am feeling great!!!!

#18 sera

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Posted 15 June 2008 - 01:09 PM

Day 5 without cymbalta and this morning my significant other and I were on a highway (he was driving) and I was suddenly overcome by a very strong physical urge to throw myself out of the car. This happened one other time almost two years ago and I was able to talk my way down from it. But this morning it was just awful, I was crying, holding onto him and asked him to get off the highway (when he did I started feeling better immediately). When he was dropping me off at my house shortly after I explained to him what I was feeling and he was oddly flip about the whole thing and said, "Well, if you feel like jumping, then jump." I slammed the door in his face, he left and I haven't heard from him since.

Can this get worse? Has it ruined my longterm relationship too? I decided to call a psychiatrist in the morning because my prescribing doctor minimized withdrawal and I really don't have the energy or desire to educate her at this point.

I took a xanax about an hour ago and that definitely helped. Now I'm just doing laundry, a little housework, etc., and then off to the grocery store. So I am functioning but just really discouraged. ;)

#19 sera

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Posted 15 June 2008 - 02:56 PM

Greybeard--thank you so much for your response--and my new mantra is "it's not me, it's the drug." I took a xanax, which helped enormously, and just went about my household chores. My boyfriend just called to see how I was doing and he had no idea of the impact of what he said, which is a habit of his. I explained to him that what happened was completely physical and I did not want to harm myself--in fact, I was frantically trying to figure out how I could resist the urge. Ugh. And I told him to never again make such a cavalier remark like that. You're right, he really doesn't understand.

And you're right, I do have to take a step back and figure out how what I have to do to get through this. Thanks again.

#20 schmb01

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Posted 15 June 2008 - 11:40 PM

It is so frustrating when you can't make people understand the depths of how things feel. When I was at my lowest point, my daughter basically avoided me, which hurt a lot. I fortunately have a niece that I'm very close with, and she came and sat with me and kept in touch to make sure I was okay.

I also have a chronic health condition, that causes severe headaches. Headache isn't really even the right word, but others with my condition "get" what I am saying.

I have found, after a minor blow up with her, that my daughter is just having a hard time dealing with a Mom who is relatively young, (48 this month) with a chronic health problem, and then the Cymbalta withdrawal was thrown in there. It still hurts me at times, but I guess my point is, (and I do have one) that sometimes those closest to us simply don't get it, and they likely feel like they are looking at an alien sometimes, and feel at a loss as to what do do for us. Now, if they can't be terribly supportive, they CAN stop with the insenstive comments. But unless you have experienced this, there really aren't enough adjectives that we can use to get it across to others. That is why coming here is such a relief. We don't have to exhaust ourselves trying to make each other understand how this feels, because we DO get it.

Ultimately I found it easier to work through it by myself, with people here. I just didn't have the energy to explain myself to people all the time.

Here's hoping that your bf is at least more compassionate in the future.

#21 sera

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Posted 16 June 2008 - 10:30 AM

That is why coming here is such a relief. We don't have to exhaust ourselves trying to make each other understand how this feels, because we DO get it.


I feel exactly the same way. The bf and I have talked a lot since the incident yesterday morning. I think it's generally very difficult for people suffering from depression to have compassion for themselves, so not getting it from those closest to you makes it's just that much more difficult to cope. I'm glad you guys are here, though!

Feeling a bit better this morning, though I did have a moment of being seized by that tremendous anxiety as I approached my office -- I work on the ninth floor of a tower-like building and once in awhile I get a bit of vertigo from up here. Trying to drink a lot of water and play music to keep the anxiety at bay.

#22 Lori

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 01:02 PM

Hi Sera, I hope things are going much better for you now......well I am sure with Cymbalta withdrawals things are not much better, but as you begin to understand the things that you may actually go through before you get better, that will help you alot. I am so glad to hear you and your boyfriend are still talking, especially about the withdrawal symtoms. That is very important. My parents did not really understand until I sent them some of these posts via email. They still did not know how to help me so they prayed and prayed faithfully and also asked their Sunday School class of about 60 people to pray for me too.

My daughter was kinda like Schmb01's. I am sure they may have reacted differently but still, I am young too, and my grandchildren love their grandma dearly. I am 45 with a 7 year old grandson and 3 year old granddaughter, and a 26 year old daughter, an 18 year old son, and....well.....a 34 year old boyfriend of a year and 8 months. My daughter was afraid. So she did not come around me that often. It was killing her to see me in that shape. So I can not fault her for the way she handled it. My boyfriend, beings he is younger than I am and was not raised to be a kind man....he was raised to fight and to hurt people but he left that life behind to find a new life, a new meaning to life and he found me and my family. If you read any of my past posts you will see we had a struggle getting through the withdrawals of Cymbalta. As Greybeard said, its hard to say whether or not a relationship can actually survive this or not. It really depends on the person. I think it was Sarah J who said that since her and her husband had been together so long, he knew without a doubt this was not her and was definitely the evil drug causing her to be this way. However, my boyfriend did not have that option. When I first started my 'problems', it was only about 9 months into the realationship. I was first started on an extemely high dose of Provera....in my opinion it should be illegal to be on that much of that drug, but it was for a procedure I had done. Thats when my problems started, I went from Xanax, to Welbutrin, Lexapro, Abilify, and then Cymbalta. Each one caused their own problem for me, Cymbalta being the worse. I lost my job in December because of all of this. So my boyfriend was faced with.....Is this Lori or is this the result of one medication after another?

He did not always handle my outrages and interrogations very well. He was afraid to continue to stay with me, especially with a special needs daughter, because during an outrage I would yell at him and tell him I was a failure because I did not have the nerve to kill myself. I honestly felt I could no longer live the way I was living but I could not end my life either. I felt like I was trapped. This scared him. He never knew if his daughter was going to get off the bus, come in the house and find me dead or that I had gone somewhere, and was not here for her and someone would eventually find me dead. Things were a terrible mess and it upsets me to know there are other people like yourself who is coming along behind me and they have to deal with this.

He was as supportive as he could be at that time. Men and women dont understand each other to begin with. The key to 'understanding' is not to try and understand why.....but to understand that we are different and accept it. Men who are witnessing their wife or girlfriend go through this feel helpless. They think they must fix the problem. I dont understand why they feel that way but I understand they do. He could not fix me....so he would either be really quiet, or think of ways to help me stay out of bed, like buying me flowers and fixing me a place for a flower garden or leave me a list of things he needed me to do for him.....but some days he would be upset and angry and say things that hurt me. So of course I did not think he was supportive of what I was going through, but looking back......he was here. He did not go anywhere without me except to work and back. He got me out of the house on the weekends, against my will. I honestly do not know how I would feel or how I would handle, him loosing his job, him staying in bed all day, him thinking I was at work only to get away from him, walking in from work right into a firing squad.....I would like to think I would have been supportive, but I can not honestly say how I would react.

Hang in there, keep posting so we know how you are doing. Be prepared for an unpleasant ride but I want you to know, its worth the ride just to get off the Cymbalta. We are here for you. Right now, I have my son and his wife living with me and with school being out now, my boyfriends daughter is very hard to deal with and I try and take her places, so I may not have much time to come to this website but if ANYONE wants to privately email me, I will definitely respond as soon as I receive it. I do check my email every morning. My thoughts and prayers are with you daily.

Lori

#23 Wheresmywifegone

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    I am trying to figure out how to deal with and understand the effects of Cymbalta withdrawls.

Posted 16 February 2011 - 04:33 PM

I am at a loss of how to deal with the effects of Cymbalta. I have never used any drugs in my life, other than prescription (antibiotics, muscle relaxers,...etc). I have never really been around any people that are really into using drugs and the effects they have on your body. My wife began taking Cymbalta 60's several weeks ago. Needless to say, it was crazy how a drug can have those effects on an individual. I have been reading previous posts, and she was suffering from a lot of the same side effects (restless legs, hallucinations, hearing voices, "brain zaps", tingling arms/legs, racing heart rate. The 1st night was the scariest of them all. I had no clue what to do. I found myself getting out of bed, getting dressed, and ready to call 911. I did not call 911, but this went on for 3 solid hours until her Xanax kicked in and settled her down.
The episode really scared her too. She called the Dr and she was given Cymbalta 30's and was trying the every other day bit. Now she has gone cold turkey. She is very irritiable, locks herself in the house for days, body aches, has tremors, and our sex life has taken a big nose dive. I have never been around this type of behavior before and I am not sure if I am comfortable leaving her with our 15 month old son throughout the day. I know she would never hurt him intentionally, but let's face it, a 15 month old will push anyone's buttons after being with them all day. At times to her, it seems like I ignore her, but the honest truth is, I have no idea on how to help her. I can try everything I can think of, but like she says, "there is nothing you can do."
I love her with all of my heart, but I am torn apart. I want my wife back. I want to find some answers on how I can help her cope with getting off of this horrible drug. I actually called the Dr's office and told the receptionist (the Dr was busy) how horrible the side effects are and why would a Dr put someone on this type of medication with side effects like this. This drug puts more strain not only on the patient's mental status, but it also affects the family members. We need help!
I am open to any suggestions.

#24 lisamac61

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 08:14 PM

Ariel, sorry to hear you are going through that especially with a husband who should know better. My husband didn't have nearly the background of dealing with the issue as yours does but he seems to have handled it exactly the same way. Guess it's a "guy thing". That they can't handle being supportive when there is a problem in their own homes that needs attention if we are not there to take on the challenge! He made me feel like I was a whiner which is NOT my character and that I was making all of my misery up! The fact that I was immobilized by the pain and headaches only mad him ask "Oh do you still have THAT headache?" The vomiting and inability to function didn't raise any red flag in his mind. It made me ask "Are you really THAT clueless?". Yes, it is one of the most difficult things I had to deal with as well and I am still angry (2 years+ later) that I didn't get more support from him or from my health care providers. It did help me understand that I am the much stronger one in the relationship and we have moved on from there-though many things have changed. Good luck to you and move on knowing that you are not alone!

#25 meegeezee

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Posted 21 April 2012 - 01:30 PM

My husband did all of the initial research online about Cymbalta withdrawal ... because my eyes and that brain-tinnitis thing were driving me crazy!! So he knows even more about it than I do and has been very supportive because of it.

However, my anger is something to behold. I go into a RAGE so easily. ANGER!!! I am normally a very nice, cheerful, patient person. Not anymore!!! I've never felt anger like this and it has been weeks now. I wonder how long it will last?


When you get an answer, forward it to me too, if you would....my anger has been bubbling up in my chest and I'm afraid it will explode!
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#26 ijustdontgetit

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Posted 02 May 2012 - 09:39 AM

Ariel, OMG and he's a psych dr? I cannot believe he doesn't give you support? I'm speechless. If he really doesn't understand then he needs to refer his patients and you to a specialist who can. I feel so bad for you. I would suggest going to a support group, seeing a doctor or try to.enlarge your support network. You need to do this right away, you don't have to go through this alone. You, unfortunately, won't likely find someone in the outside that really understands. But at least someone that is compassionate could offer an ear or shoulder.

#27 cymbaltavictim1010

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    BECAUSE I WANT THIS DRUG BANNED AND WITHDRAWN AND SOME OFFICIAL REHABILITATION PROGRAMME ESTABLISHED

Posted 02 May 2012 - 11:13 AM

My husband did all of the initial research online about Cymbalta withdrawal ... because my eyes and that brain-tinnitis thing were driving me crazy!! So he knows even more about it than I do and has been very supportive because of it.

However, my anger is something to behold. I go into a RAGE so easily. ANGER!!! I am normally a very nice, cheerful, patient person. Not anymore!!! I've never felt anger like this and it has been weeks now. I wonder how long it will last?


Three horrid months. And you are lucky to have a supportive spouse. My wife thought I had turned into a monster and left me. But after three months, well, bliss. Check out my other posts on what to do because nobody else will tell you. Keep the faith
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#28 SusieJ

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Posted 05 July 2012 - 09:54 PM

Ariel~ My heart aches for you. It must be incredibly difficult to be going through this with a psych. doctor in the house. I can't imagine that. My husband tends to look at the positive outcome, but not the day to day, living with the withdrawals. He is supportive, mind you, it is just that he is always focused and saying, "this will be better in the long run." I know he is right, but sometimes it hurts, and I feel like I am going through this alone. Congratulations on being so strong. Keep posting.



Susan,
I know exactly what you are saying. My husband has the positive attitude and it isn't that I don't appreciate his confidence in me making it thru this, it is just that it isn't enough. There are times when "positive" sounds like crap. I have one friend that will listen to me and I don't want to burden her down with it all the time. I believe that unless you go thru this, there is no way to understand. Sometimes love is just not enough. I need to know that he is listening, but I am sure I sound like a lunatic and dramatic. I would not wish this on anyone. So far, just emotional peaks and feeling angry. I just want someone to get what I am saying.

This feels like family. Thanks



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