a few months have passed since my last post here. I thought maybe it's a good time to update on my current status:
so, ive been off C for 2 months now. I would really like to say i feel good and stuff...but the truth is I find myself struggeling with severe anxiety.
I sleep really really bad. for years now (things have gotten worse since i stopped C). im starting to think it might damage my brain and frankly it scares me. I simply can't have one night of decent sleep. it's those heart palpitations that are killing my sleep.
i started clonidine and got to 0.075 mg but i had this fear that my heart will stop. so i couldnt sleep. so i stopped. a few days ago i tired a whole 0.1 mg and frankly it felt good. i need to give it a second shot.
im going back to school at the end of this month. i currently work with my parents but i need to find something else for when school starts. my previous employer takes his time so i cant be sure if i will have a job during school. sure, my parents are giving me money but i find it very uncomfortable to take money from them as they also have to save money for themeselves for the years to come.
i heard meditation could really be helpful. a friend recommended Vipassana (10 days silence course where you learn how to meditate). I enrolled went there. I left on the second day as the anxiety was to damn high. not reccomended during the inital withdrawal phase. i am looking for a meditation guide book...thought i might start easy. any recomendations?
i started dating a girl. she's beautiful and awesome. I hope things will work out.
and, im still going to the gym and walking for 30 min each day.
so, basically these are the things that i struggle with:
2. no income - that stresses me out
3. as school starts, i know things will not be easy as i will be meeting new people under new situations. it will be a bumpy ride. I just hope i will "loose it" or anything like that
thank you for those who are reading.
I am sorry I am not active, I hope i can help other people in the future on this forum....