I have been on C for 10 years (give or take a year). Most of that was at 120mg. I was relieved when a generic came out as 50$ a month was a lot! Turns out I am very allergic to the generic I tried. I was told to "try a different generic" but no pharmacy can guarantee that I can always get that same generic. So I have had to keep getting the brand name.
That is when EliLily started to price me out. It went from 50$ to 80$ to 110$ to 300$ all in a few months time. I literally couldn't afford it!
So I decided to go off it. I knew it would be hard but wasn't aware that it would be this hard or dangerous. Had I known that it would be this way I never would have gone on it.
On March 29 I went from 120 mg to 60 mg. It was a horrible few weeks of nausea, vertigo, pain, dizziness, emotional bouts, increased anxiety, and gastrointestinal pain. Then I got urges to self-harm. And then got depressed. Also was awake for over 24 hours and have had memory lapses. I have lost two days in total so far.
On May 11 after finding a constant balance on the 60 mg decided to drop to 30 mg C and add 10 mg Prozac. It was okay at first, things started to get bumpy but everything was manageable. On the 18th I went up to 20mg Prozac. I started to get diarrhea every day. Painful gastrointestinal cramps it was horrible. On the 23rd I was in so much pain I was bawling. Nothing helped. Luckily my Doctor happened to call at that exact moment on an unrelated issue. She told me to stop the P and go back to 60 C. I did and waited it out, stayed on 60 C until June 15.
I couldn't keep asking family members to shell out 200 some odd dollars. So I looked up Fishinghats bead titration idea. I decided it was the only way.
I counted 3 60 mg pills. I got 201 beads, 198 beads, and 200 beads. Ideally I would have done this over a hundred days. Unfortunately the money wouldn't allow that. So I decided on 198 beads, over 66 days.
Day 33 will be halfway and will be 30mg. I am currently on day 16. I have been keeping a detailed journal of what I go through everyday.
So far these first two weeks haven't been so bad. Lots of night sweats, freakishly vivid dreams, pain is higher than normal. I essentially feel like I have been digging holes for days and days endlessly.
June 26/27 was the scariest this whole nightmare has gotten. My entire body felt like it was rejecting itself. I felt like my nerves were restless and trying to escape. Like an itch you can't scratch. My nerves everywhere felt like they were vibrating. It was the worst in my brain. 4mg valium and getting love from my cat and I eventually passed out.
Today marks two months journey.
I suppose I am most apprehensive about dropping dose because if I start having bad gastro pain (and the loveliness that follows) it means I am chained to my house.
Has anyone else had these issues when bead counting?
I suppose I am just looking to see what other people have done. I am supposed to finish day 66 on Aug 18. One day before I am to go to a concert for my birthday. Come hell or high water I will make it.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to ease the withdrawal gastro issues?
Thank you all for reading and I will keep you updated!