Hi everyone,
I've never posted in a forum before. I started looking through this site and thought it was just one of the supportive forums I've ever looked at. So much positivity.
A little background. I've never been on any meds in my life. I'm a 40 year old mom and suffering from severe anxiety since March. Before March I was a fully functioning, working mom on the go. Maybe a little too much on the go. I started to suffer from a horrible pain in leg. Long story, a chiropractor, a neurosurgeon consult and 2 physical therpists later I never really got a real answer or resolution to my pain. I was scared and it got the best of me. This is where the severe anxiety develops. Well I've learned a lot and I've been a bit anxious my whole life but It got to the point where I suffered constant panic attacks, all day and all night, no sleep, just panic attacks. I had a breakdown. My husband took my to my primary dr and they prescribed celexa and klonpin. Finally with the klonopin I slept. I then layed in bed for almost 2 months. I went through depersonalization, detachment and constant anxiety and of course depression. I am still dealing with these issues but I am making progress in getting my life back, very slowly. I am working with an amazing Psychiatrist who specializes in pain and anxiety. I am learning that a lot of my pain has been tied to severe muscle tension. Constantly tightening and tensing my leg against the pain and making it worse. I now do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, muscle relaxation and other meditation techniques. But it's been a slow go.
So back to the meds part. I took Celexa for 5 weeks and then saw a psychiatrist. She put me on Cymbalta. I was so out of it and scared and desperate I would try anything. So I took less Celexa and 30 mg of Cymbalta for 2 weeks. Then she upped my dose to Cymbalta to 60 mg and I have been on that for 9 weeks. Last week Friday, after a lot of soul searching, I decided Cymbalta was not for me. It really hasn't done anything for me. I'm still anxious, depressed etc. So what is the point. I will continue to work w my Psychologist.
I called the psychiatrists office On Friday and my psychiatrist is out of town. My next appt with her isn't till the end of Sept. I am not staying on this drug for another month just to wait to see her is what I told the receptionist. She consulted with another psychiatrist and called me back. She said I could start taking 30 mg instead of 60 and then call the office back on Tuesday and let them know how I feel. So I took a 30 on Saturday, Sunday and today, Monday. I have this feeling that they are going to tell me to just discontinue the med tomorrow when I call if I'm not experiencing any symptoms. I'm going to insist to actually speak with a dr though.
I'm not sure what to do from here. If I do okay on the 30's perhaps I should do one of those bead counting tapers from there?? I don't know too much about the bead counting. I just read that it help make the withdrawals not as severe. Is it safe to do this? Given my history of short term use I don't know if that works to my advantage or not. Because of my severe anxiety I am extremely scared. My heart beats out of my chest waiting to see if I will get a symptom. I usually only take a tiny bit of klonopin to sleep now, I cut it to .12 of a milligram. When this all started I was taking 1.5 mgs per day. But the past few days I've had to take a tiny bit in the morning due to fear.
Any advice would be so so much appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post.
Jen
