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#31 brzghoff

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Posted 22 August 2017 - 10:51 AM

still holding at 100 mgs of lamotrigine, but i think i may reach a point to where i can start stepping down again. we close on the rental property we're selling on friday - a big source of stress that will soon be gone.

 

also, i've spent the past month creating plans around seeing the totality of the solar eclipse and researching the best viewing spot outside of the crowds - success! yesterday was an awesome never-to-be-forgotten day! we're at our vacation house in NC and were able to drive less than an hour to see the moon obscure the sun, the baileys beads, the diamond ring - and the stars and even venus - brighter than ever, all at 2:36  in the afternoon! i allowed myself to get stressed out <sigh> by agonizing over if i was making the best decisions on location - timing of departure to our chosen spot and the one thing totally out of my control - the weather. but everything was perfect. gorgeous day, not too hot at 4000 feet along the blue ridge parkway.  the half hour before and after the totality the temps cooled down significantly due to the moon's coverage of the sun - also the sun's brightness itself was as like a dimmer switch on a lightbulb, gradually going down down down until it was as dark a night. wow! there were about 50 of us gathered aolng one of the many scenic overlooks on the parkway - a great crowd, non of the circus like atmosphere of all the festivals that brought a lot of traffic that we managed to avoid. 

 

what remains its the memory of a life time - and a major reduction in anxiety! my job security is still in question - as the company is getting sold - but for some reason that isn't ratcheting up concern like i thought it might. so this weekend i may try to drop between 5mg and 6.25. fingers crossed...


#32 fishinghat

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Posted 22 August 2017 - 11:22 AM

Hang in there Brz. My home was just 100 miles from the enter of the eclipse as it went by. That's was close enough for me. Impressive. Lucky me I got to cut grass during the eclipse. What amazed me was that it was 91F before the eclipse and dropped as low as 82F during the eclipse. The only bad thing was that the heat came back when it was all done.  :D


#33 brzghoff

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Posted 25 September 2017 - 07:46 PM

i never dropped. its been just over a month since i posted last in this thread and i still haven't budged from the 100 mg of lamotrigine. way too much going on right now. by the end of the week of the eclipse we closed on the sale of a rental property we really wanted to be rid of, so that stress was gone - but i still didn't feel quite right and then the hurricane hit and another huge stress with a flooded rental. i've really had a lot to catastrophize over. day after tomorrow we should learn if my company has been sold. no one knows what will happen next.

 

its always something. there's probably no "good time" <sigh>


#34 gail

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Posted 26 September 2017 - 06:49 AM

Hi Brz,

Always good to hear from you even though your life at the moment seems like a roller coaster ride. Let us know about the company outcome. Xxxxx

#35 fishinghat

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Posted 26 September 2017 - 08:00 AM

Tough times for sure but things will settle down. Once they do you will be ready again. Hang in there.


#36 brzghoff

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Posted 14 October 2017 - 09:28 AM

Still at 100 mg. Would love to drop since certain stresses are gone/lessening. Got insurance check for our flooded rental. While no worries about coverage there is still a lot of work to be done/coordinated. Designed water barriers that we’ve installed even though no big storms in forecast since we’ll be leaving for two weeks and you never know. My company was not sold but a decision was made to change direction and our product focus. 60% of the staff was laid off yesterday but I survived!

I’d like to say that was a big load off my shoulders but I‘ve managed to create new things to worry about - mostly irrational. I’d be willing to drop except with the huge changes in my company’s direction I will have to be laser focused and there’s nothing like the stress and anxiety that withdrawal brings that can totally disrupt cognitive thinking.

I have an annual physical with the doc coming up. Gonna ask for the baby 2mg doses of lamotrigine and go real slow. I really wanna be done with this, i’ve Been stuck at 100 mgs for too long!

#37 fishinghat

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Posted 14 October 2017 - 01:47 PM

I am really glad you didn't loose your job. The rest you can handle. By the way, if it wasn't for irrational thoughts I would have no thoughts at all. :D


#38 brzghoff

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Posted 20 October 2017 - 08:45 PM

dr  hat, thanks for your confidence in me! i know there was a time before the lamotrigine withdrawal where i was feeling (almost) at the top of my of game again. there's no doubt in my mind that the sensitivities left from the cold turkey off the C has made getting off the L harder than it is for many folks. 

 

I am curious as to how others deal with withdrawal as the days get shorter. ever since i quit the C i became very affected by the seasons. I understand that seasonal affective disorder is not uncommon. however even though i have a history of depression, it exacerbates anxiety with me but i don't feel depression. i really love that the temperatures finally cool down. i'm headed to the western NC mountains tomorrow and look forward to the fall - it's always been my favorite time of year. it's ironic that the shorter days have such a negative mental impact. 


#39 fishinghat

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 08:27 AM

"Seasonal affective disorder" is partially linked to serotonin levels associated with the shorter and darker days. Serotonin production increases with an increase in light intensity and production lasts longer with the longer days.  This occurrence may be due to your body still not fully in control of your serotonin production yet.


#40 brzghoff

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Posted 08 April 2018 - 08:38 AM

Wow. Been a few weeks past a year since i started this taper off lamotrigine/lamictal and i’ve still been holding at 100 mgs since last summer. Its been tough to even consider it. There is almost always a slight edge of anxiety that gives me pause. Overall life is good, but withdrawal, however so slight, is enough to seriously affect my self awareness - where i develop a total lack of it. I over-react, catastrophize and the physical flu like feelings and extreme fatigue are dibilitating whenever i try just a mild drop. I Just cant afford it with my current work situation. Its pretty much just like withdrawing from cymbalta. Totally different drugs, duloxetene and lamotrigine, so i have no idea why withdrawal is virtually the same.

A couple months ago i accidentally forgot to take my daily dose of lamotrigine, didn’t realize it til i got to work and felt sick all day. Took it when i got home, and as per normal therefafter and it took a week to recover. Cymbalta was never that bad. If i forgot a whole dose, when i would take it later that day or next morning i’d feel normal again within hours.

Im totally bewildered.

#41 fishinghat

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Posted 08 April 2018 - 09:20 AM

The only thing I can add Brz is that Cymbalta effects the neurons in the Hippocampus and amygdala (primarily) and that lamotrigine effects the frontal cortex and Striata. I don't know why that would cause the withdrawal to be as bad but it does effect the synapse structure and performance as does Cymbalta.


#42 brzghoff

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Posted 26 May 2018 - 02:31 PM

wow, i haven't posted here since april? i've officially stopped the taper. nothing has changed, i made it to half the dose of lamotrigine i was originally on, from 200 to 100 mgs. For a year now i've continued to take 4 25 mg pills in hopes i'd continue to shave them down. couldn't handle every time i tried so i asked the doc for 100mg tabs - much cheaper that way. i still have almost a months supply of the 25's so they'll be there when i'm ready to re-start.

 

reason i've officially stopped my lamotrigine taper is that a continued low-level anxiety has caused a serious bout of reflux to surface. that was a side effect of cymbalta (or maybe a side effect of the weight gain which is a side effect of cymbalta) once i cold turkey'd off the C in 2014 and lost the weight the reflux went away. its been four years but its back. really bad this time. i'm on 80 mg of omeprazole (40 mg 2 x a day), i've cut all my favorite foods out, spicy, citrus, mint, dairy, coffee, chocolate, tomatoes, virtually all fat, onions, garlic, nuts, carbonated waters (i love la croix) the list goes on. not to mention craft beer and wine! after i get things under control i'll try working items back in my diet one at a time, very slowly. that way i'll be able to more easily ID the triggers. weight is not an issue these days and i'm loosing more given the strict diet. i can't sleep with my husband anymore because i need to sleep in a bed with the head lifted 6 inches up. i can barely tell the difference from flat and am trying to convince him to do raise our bed, he won't slip off! 

 

so i guess this ends the experiment with weaning off lamotrigine for now. i can't say its worse than weaning off cymbalta but its not any better for me (sigh)


#43 gail

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Posted 26 May 2018 - 03:01 PM

Hello Brz,

Always nice to read your posts.

You seem to be on the same diet as our dear FH. Stricttttt!

If I understand right, something in your diet is causing reflux, and You've eliminated most of the food to see which one is causing this by reintegrating them one by one? Oh, the patience!

Electric bed? One side stays down while the other one goes up. While being near to your husband. Hope to see you Again!



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