Alone
#1
Posted 19 May 2017 - 03:14 PM
#9
Posted 19 May 2017 - 06:40 PM
#10
Posted 19 May 2017 - 10:32 PM
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#11
Posted 20 May 2017 - 05:59 AM
I know what you mean. I think the most frequent thing that goes through my head these days is, "nobody cares about you." Since my dad died, my family has fallen apart. I am acutely aware of the fact that they don't give a shit about me, and I'm convinced that they would probably be better off in some ways if I died.
On the other hand, I have met people online who can identify with some of the things I'm going through, and who seem to care that I'm suffering. It's not quite the same as having family or offline friends, but it helps me feel a little less alone.
When I feel really bad, I try to remind myself that something better could be around the corner. I'm almost off of the Cymbalta, and I will be starting something else. The next med will probably make me feel sick for awhile, as I am sensitive to med side effects, but a few months from now I may feel good enough to start living again. I don't know for sure, but I feel like it would be a good idea to hold on and see if maybe things can change.
When you really think about it, how important are these people who don't care anyway? They aren't any more important than you are. I try to remind myself that I have just as much of a right to exist as anyone else. The fact that others don't care is not a reason to check out, because they are not any more valuable than I am.
Don't get me wrong; this issue has become a daily struggle for me as I'm weaning off of Cymbalta. So I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just telling you what I tell myself to get through the feelings. At this point, I make connections with people online only, and that has to be enough for me for the time being.
I don't know how much of what I feel is Cymbalta withdrawal and how much of it is my depression getting worse, but I'm really trying to ride these feelings out in the hope that things will get better. I hope you will too, Katherine.
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#12
Posted 20 May 2017 - 07:53 AM
God loves you enough to sacrifice his only Son. That's is enough for me to care about you. Not just words but true feelings. GET HELP NOW. Call someone at a crisis center. They actually care because most of them has been there before and they know how it feels.
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#14
Posted 20 May 2017 - 12:20 PM
Ramona, please let us know that you are alright. We are worried, remember that this is just the withdrawal chemical reaction that is making you feel this way. It is not the real you. If you want to talk just PM me your phone number and I will call. Anyway we can help just let us know.
#15
Posted 20 May 2017 - 12:23 PM
#18
Posted 20 May 2017 - 02:09 PM
Sorry about the Ramona issue. I had just finished reading a post of hers.
A sick daughter. A cold, a flu, color blindness, depression, anxiety, fibro, those are all medical conditions. Would someone give up on their daughter because of a cold? No of course not but some conditions last longer or are more severe. So what it is not the daughters fault. Life is not free of trials and tribulations as all of us here know. You endure and enjoy your life as much as possible. Sometimes conditions require that we adopt some life style changes. A person with high cholesterol might have to develop new eating habits. I have severe anxiety and I have had to develop a new life style. I am basically isolated away from stress and noise. I can't handle much anymore but by living a more secluded managed life style I can be fairly happy. My therapist has taught me how to manage my stress, control my breathing and regulate my pulse so as to minimize the effects of what stress I do have. It is not a perfect life and adjusting is not easy but it can be done and happiness can be achieved. My family turned away when I developed problems. So be it. I can not compensate for their lack of understanding and fear. I focused on dealing with my health. With time they learned more about anxiety and we were once again able to enjoy time together. There were some adjustments but like changing diets for high cholesterol those adjustments are made and you move on.
Katherine (lol I got the name right this time!) you have an identity. You are Katherine. That is your life. You CAN adapt and live a decent life.
Have you ever had a genetic screening for genes causing anxiety or depression? Mayo offers these tests and they can be quite effective in pointing a dr in the right direction for the right meds.
#21
Posted 20 May 2017 - 05:38 PM
I wasn't saying you had those things. I was just saying we al suffer from some condition or other (like fibro) and family members should understand and work with their sons and daughters not turn away from them. It show a lack of understanding that this is just another medical condition that we (as a family) must deal with.
I did not mean to offend with the remarks about God Katherine. We don't push that here or shy away from it. To each his own. I did not know if you were religious or not and was only trying to help.
#23
Posted 20 May 2017 - 07:04 PM
Try to understand that Fishinghat is only trying to help you, like he does for us.
Withdrawal makes people say and do things that they regret afterwards. It makes them scream at their partner, their children and whoever is on their way. They have great rage, they may hit people and at a times they to ER because of their fear of losing their mind.
You are in burning waters for now, it'll cool off!
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#24
Posted 20 May 2017 - 07:11 PM
#26
Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:20 PM
I appreciate everything you do and say here FH.
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#28
Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:41 PM
I know FH. I guess you have been on this site a long time and understand that people going through withdrawal are in pain, mentally and physically. I hope K gets help soon.
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#29
Posted 22 May 2017 - 02:51 AM
You people obviously don't live in uk. I called crisis line and they told me go away as usual. You don't get help here until you actually kill yourself. I do not believe in God.
I called a crisis line here in the U.S., and the woman I talked to basically told me to "try harder," which is the same b.s. everyone else keeps telling me.
I don't know what treatments you've tried, but I hope you'll hold on and see if a new treatment can help.
It's painful and frustrating to have to go through this. Lately I've even been avoiding interaction with some of the people I was talking to online, because the things they say (or do not say) are upsetting to me. Mostly I've been watching movies and sleeping until I can start a new treatment and hopefully get out of this state of mind. I can't concentrate well enough to read, and I don't enjoy much anymore, so movies and sleep are about all I can do to distract myself for the time being.
#30
Posted 22 May 2017 - 06:56 AM
Just know that you are not alone in this suffering.
I hope for you to find the right treatment, in the right time. And let's pray that all that suffering has a meaning. I sure hope so. Xx
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