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#151 Wagtail

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Posted 19 August 2018 - 05:13 PM

Hi everyone, I’m still not where I’d hoped to be at , by now .

For those who are familiar with my long journey back from my cymbalta cold turkey horror trip . My four months in hospital & reinstatement of antidepressants.
From 70mgs of cymbalta to zero in one week & then 8 months of a living hell & then my admission to a clinic for 4 months .
I came out taking Deptram ( a very old tricyclic. ) I’ve been taking 70 mgs for just over 5 yrs . .
I’m also taking Valium 5mgs 3 x daily = 15 mgs daily

I have started a withdrawal from the antidepressant.
The plan is to take it extremely slowly , 18 months !.
My first drop was from 70mgs to 60 mgs & yes I did feel it , but managed & stabilised & stayed on this dose for approximately 8 weeks .
Then I dropped from 60 mgs to 55mgs & have been on this dose now for 4 weeks . I’m noticing that I’m very emotional & crying often .
I’m unmotivated
I’m sleeping but it’s not pleasant , I appear to be having bad dreams & waking up feeling the fear .
I’m also having problems with one of my daughters , who makes me feel as if everything I do & say is wrong .
This upsets me greatly .
My problem is , is this making me feel bad & emotional or is it the withdrawal ?, even though I’m still in the early stages .
I’m down from 70mgs to 55 mgs .
Shout out to my dear old friend ‘ fishinghat .’
So glad that your still doing what you do so magnificently.....helping those who are desperate & need your knowledge to help them .
Love Wagtail ..❤

#152 gail

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    5 months on cymbalta, scary side effects, never felt good.
    Needed understanding and support, and a place where I was not alone. To read others stories and realizing that I was not the only one going through all that crap.
    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 19 August 2018 - 05:44 PM

Hello Wagtail,

It's been a long time! Happy to see you. Coming off Deptram, did it help you in any way?

So sorry about your the way it's going with your daughter, I could do without at the stage you are in. Missed you Gail, beautiful name, right?

#153 fishinghat

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Posted 19 August 2018 - 05:51 PM

Hey, all my old friends showing up today and it isn't even my birthday!!  lol

 

You know how to handle this withdrawal. Go slow and when in doubt go even slower.  You will be just fine. Please come back and tell us how you are getting along.


#154 Wagtail

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Posted 19 August 2018 - 11:32 PM

Hi beautiful Gail ( it is a nice name ) I have been traveling ok whilst taking the Deptram , the same as most antidepressants, weight gain ‍♀ Affected memory , constipation ( sorry about that guys , tmi .) I think I’m still a bit agoraphobic,but I put that down to the horror of coming off the cymbalta , it was the gift that keeps giving !.
I realise that the lower I decrease the worse I will feel & at my stage of life ,I will be happy if I need to stay on a very low dosage for the rest of my life .
My stomach becomes very bloated but that could be what some call “ benzo belly .”
Who knows whether any of these are side effects from the drugs or if they’re from the withdrawing.‍♀
It truly helps me stay strong by dropping in here & speaking with you legends , I don’t feel so alone & useless .
Hopefully this tricyclic withdrawal won’t ‘coward punch’ me like Cymbata did & I will survive it & finally be able to withdraw from the Valium as well . Fishinghat will be my VERY BEST FRIEND , when that time comes .
I leave you now, with thanks for responding to my post & filling me with your strength . God Bless you both .

#155 fishinghat

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Posted 20 August 2018 - 07:52 AM

Whenever you are ready Wagtail. One step at a time.


#156 gail

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    5 months on cymbalta, scary side effects, never felt good.
    Needed understanding and support, and a place where I was not alone. To read others stories and realizing that I was not the only one going through all that crap.
    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 20 August 2018 - 08:43 AM

Hi Gail,

Thank you for your post. A question, why withdraw from that tryciclic if you are feeling fine?

Bloating, constipation, swollen belly, memory loss, all this is to be expected and (normal) with antidepressants. Eager to have the answer to this. Love xx

#157 Wagtail

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Posted 20 August 2018 - 04:38 PM

Good morning Gail , the only reason I was prescribed the Deptram ,was to help me get through the cold turkey withdrawal from Cymbalta . It was supposed to be a short term solution & I’m sick I’ve the side effects. I want the drug out o my body & hopefully I can successfully obtain this .
I also won’t to get off the Valium because I know I will be much healthier when I accomplish this .
I feel that it is numbing my genuine feelings and want to be free of all unnecessary chemicals in my system.My doctor agrees with me pc & is going to do everything possible to guide me through this second attempt to withdraw from antidepressants.
The weight gain is extremely uncomfortable & predominantly in my gut area & it’s possible that the excess weight in this area could be responsible for two hernias that have appeared in my stomach.
I’m hoping that when I complete my withdrawal, my weight will stabilise.
Our plan is to take it very slowly over a 18 month period .

#158 Wagtail

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Posted 21 August 2018 - 06:48 PM

Well , ‍♀ a big about turn in my around concerning my medical diagnosis.

For many many years , I have been convinced that my thyroid wasn’t functioning properly . I have EVERY symptom of a underactive thyroid , but my tests kept coming back negative .

One of my daughters was born with Hashimoto thyroiditis & even though she has been on medication & monitored monthly her whole life , this autoimmune disease impacted on her quality of life .

Just over a year ago I put myself in the care of a highly recommended integrative GP ,who has helped me a great deal .
A few weeks ago he ordered special blood tests to be done on me . These blood tests aren’t done regularly because Medicare refuse to pay for them or even pay any rebate .
I had to pay for them myself & was quite pleased to do so $300 & worth every cent !.
The results came back yesterday & not surprisingly to me , it appears that I have the autoimmune disease ‘ Hashimoto thyroiditis ‘ & possibility is , that I have had it for most of my life like my daughter .

I cried with relief but also sadness , that my depression,anxiety etc was treatable & maybe I never needed to have taken antidepressants & Valium ....The good news is that treatment starts immediately .
I now suffer with 2 autoimmune disorders that can’t be cured but can be treated mainly with diet .
The other main problem the blood tests uncovered is , that I don’t have IBS I have coeliac disease which is completely diet related & can be kept controlled by diet & certain vitamins / minerals & definitely need to cut all gluten & sugars from my diet .

There are other treatable disorders as well but now we’re aware of them , I can be treated .
It sucks that I have spent most of my life so unwell & being treated inappropriately.
Well I can be grateful that maybe the rest of my days I may know the feeling of being healthy & happy & chronic anxiety free.
I just wish I was a lot younger so I could take advantage & cross of many adventures from my bucket list .☺

#159 fishinghat

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Posted 22 August 2018 - 07:37 AM

This is so common a story. We have had a lot of members who with complete blood tests find the cause or a significant contributor to their psych condition. There is a list in the thread "Summary of Cymbalta Withdrawal" (in the Medical Support section) that contains the list of things many drs check for when you first come forward with either anxiety/depression. I was immediately tested for most of these. I was very surprised when I came on this site the first time to learn how many had never had any of these tests or just a few. How many simple to diagnose conditions go by without diagnosis?  Sad.
 
I am interested to see how you progress with this new therapy Gail. Your t3, t4 and TSH never showed an issue before?

#160 gail

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    5 months on cymbalta, scary side effects, never felt good.
    Needed understanding and support, and a place where I was not alone. To read others stories and realizing that I was not the only one going through all that crap.
    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 22 August 2018 - 09:22 AM

Oh Gail, just to think that this could be the reason that you've been feeling off all these years!.....

Please, do keep us posted. This will be quite an adventure to follow, love, Gail xx

#161 fishinghat

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Posted 22 August 2018 - 01:35 PM

Well gang, you fight and you fight to find the right medication that will work for you and then you battle to find the right dose and nice you begin to be half way stabile your dr screws up your prescription. This is the fourth time in 18 months that when I went to pick up meds there was at least 1 prescription that was wrong. So you go cold turkey on that med for 5, 6 7... days until you get it straightened out. Are we having fun yet? Sorry if I have been out of sorts lately. Doing better now.

#162 Wagtail

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Posted 22 August 2018 - 06:58 PM

This is so common a story. We have had a lot of members who with complete blood tests find the cause or a significant contributor to their psych condition. There is a list in the thread "Summary of Cymbalta Withdrawal" (in the Medical Support section) that contains the list of things many drs check for when you first come forward with either anxiety/depression. I was immediately tested for most of these. I was very surprised when I came on this site the first time to learn how many had never had any of these tests or just a few. How many simple to diagnose conditions go by without diagnosis?  Sad. I am interested to see how you progress with this new therapy Gail. Your t3, t4 and TSH never showed an issue before?


Not one doctor has ever done a full thyroid blood test .. To do so I had to agree to pay the full costing , if this opportunity had been offered to me at any time in my past , I would have jumped @ the chance . Every thyroid test I had, always came back borderline , so it was then ignored .
Being under the care of a integrative doctor has been extremely beneficial for me .
He also is a big fan of your American doctor, Dr Kelly Brogan .
I have been following her now for @ least a year .
She has recognized that many people diagnosed with depression & prescribed antidepressants are later diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Hashimoto thyroiditis,combined with coeliac disease & inflammatory conditions.
She is amazing . Yes I will let you all know how I go , diet is front & formost No 1 , Gluten & dairy forbidden, as is sugar .
Started immediately on a iodine supplement, & this week I will concentrate on restocking my pantry with acceptable food .
I’m sticking with my antidepressant withdrawal whilst coping with all these other changes as well .
Totally confusing.

#163 fishinghat

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Posted 23 August 2018 - 07:43 AM

Good start Wagtail. Also be sure and get a 24 hour urine test for iodine every 6 to 12 months. Also be aware that any contrast Cat Scan used big doses of iodine that can stay in your system for up to a year.

#164 gail

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    5 months on cymbalta, scary side effects, never felt good.
    Needed understanding and support, and a place where I was not alone. To read others stories and realizing that I was not the only one going through all that crap.
    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 11 September 2018 - 07:12 AM

Good morning friends,

I have been in the hospital for a week now. I had horrible pain that hydromorphone couldn't reach.

So, I'm here for two things. One was to find out what was causing that pain.
They found that vertebra 8-10-11 were metastasized. Berk!

The other was to find a way to manage the pain. Which is a bit better. Going for one treatment of radiotherapy this morning, well at least for the markers. One session should do, they say.

I'm asking prayers by the ton to manage this process. Will be back for an update! Thank you all!

#165 fishinghat

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 08:11 AM

Always prayers my friend. May the Lord bless you.


#166 gardenlady

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 01:38 PM

Sweet Gail, I'm so sorry for all that you are going through.  I have just prayed for you and lifted you up to our Lord for comfort and relief.  God bless you, dear friend. 


#167 Wagtail

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 08:26 PM

Oh Gail , does it ever end . We seem to go from one thing to another . I’ve got to the stage that I don’t like to mention that I’m not well , I’m afraid that people will roll their eyes & think I’m a misery guts .

I will add you to my prayer list & ask God to give you relief & throw some peace of mind in while he’s at it .
I’m sure he is a empathic God & hopefully will hear me .
He probably looks down @ me & says “ OH NO NOT HER AGAIN !. :-)

Hope you feel better soon .
Love Gail

#168 gail

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    5 months on cymbalta, scary side effects, never felt good.
    Needed understanding and support, and a place where I was not alone. To read others stories and realizing that I was not the only one going through all that crap.
    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 16 October 2018 - 08:31 AM

there is so much pain in this life. what do you guys do when it is too much? cutting does almost nothing for me now. i can't drink with my fibromyalgia. can't use anything. too sensitive for it. klonopin doesn't even seem to work anymore. i just want one friend or person to feel connected with. i can't feel anything but pain. the few pleasurable things in this world seem to me the trellis overtaken by my vines of suffering. even the good things come at a price for me that i'm not sure is worth the agony. it's such hell. but here i am a person in the first world with food and a bed and the necessities of life while people starve and are raped and murdered and tortured every day. look at poor me. somehow i imagine my loneliness and misery would spread across the universe if there were a sufficiently large paint brush to make the stroke. i am certain i had similar sentiments when i was 18. i'll be 28 soon. i feel i have done my time but then there are millions of others just like me or even worse off- it's all so hopeless. i remember the first girl i seriously dated from 16-18. she or i would come home after work or being out, and i would collapse my head into her lap as she sat and put my arms around her waist and lower back. just sit there, silent. like a small child largely blind to the world and looking for nothing more than blind emotional relief and contentedness- to feel loved and wanted. no cognition, no rationale or reasoning. just to feel another person and it to mean something. it felt so comforting and i was content, if just for that moment. i see now that i must have always been desperate for some sort of attachment and love that i didn't experience when i was very young- but owing to this destitution of love and nurturing my sense of both have become so pathological and such a caricature of what anyone could reasonably provide that i'm inexorably alone, left with nothing but such high standards that someone dying for me probably wouldn't be sufficient proof of their love. i feel like my emotions have been pent up and not adequately expressed in so many years. like i could just collapse and drown in a puddle of my own infinite tears- too defeated to lift myself up. too afraid and alone. i feel so broken


My sweet Whosthat! Thinking about you. A word if you are up to it please, love, Gail



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