894 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

I would do ANYTHING for just a few beads at the moment. I would even break into a pharmacy with the way I am feeling.

 

I know it is totally wrong, but if there is anyone in the UK that could help with beads. I am very serious - I don't know what else to do.

 

Paragraph 5.7...!! I'm having seizures still. I need be at least taking a few beads.

 

I finally had a call this morning at 9.32am from the MH team who said they would get the doctor to call asap today. Nothing by 1pm. I called back - again they will be in touch asap. Now 4.30pm and STILL nothing. Called back and now no answer at all.

 

KATHY - In the UK, when you get transferred to the MH Community, you are then under their direction for medication regarding all aspects of your mental health. No-one... absolutely no-one... at the ER, the GP, the on-call team... can give me medication. There are only 2 doctors who can give me what I need. I cannot call them directly, I have to go through the community who can only message them or email. This is utter BS as they all work in the same building. They need only walk into the room of one of these doctors and say...Matt really needs his meds sorting out, please call. The stress is unbearable.

[KathyInFL]

I am so sorry to hear that you can't get anything at all. Is this a MH group you are assigned, or can you go to a different one? I'm of course not aware of how things are done in the UK.

[PrincessNutella]

I too don't know how things go in UK, but I had my fair share of careless doctors this past month. If you can, find a privare psychiatrist and drop them.

[invalidusername]

The MH group is assigned by area. There are usually one for every 3-4 major towns. I cannot switch to another. And besides, the other closest one has the worst patient feedback in the whole of the UK.

 

It would be fair to say they might be understaffed, but that does not excuse them from making promises they cannot keep, Or giving priority where priority is due. OR, for not knowing how to bloody well withdraw safely off a drug. Understaffed or not, they are not professional. Not even close.

 

I think private is the only option left. It is so expensive, but if I knew it would fix my melon, I would happily pay. But I have been stung by a paid p-doc before...

[invalidusername]

OK, so this is er, DAY 13

 

I am pleased to report that as of about 7pm last night, I had a much better evening. The first time since day zero. And as I do not sleep til late, this meant about 7 hours. I really needed that.

 

However, I woke up with a little nausea, but horrible depression. Where has this now come from? 

 

I also some anxiety too, it is like a 70/30 split. Quite odd and very unsettling.

 

This happened last tues. Go through some horrible nervous and stress related anxiety. It drops off for a little, and then that's all I get before... wham... depression comes back.

 

Is this still withdrawal continuation?

[gail]

Straight on, withdrawal it is. Expect this for a while Scrat. I've not heard if my prayers were answered. I'll find out on another post. Lovage!

[invalidusername]

Thanks Gail...

 

The wife has been without her Lexapro for 4 days due to doctors surgery mess up. We went to pharmacy just now in an absolute state of anxiety and depression to be told that the pharmacist had to leave early and they couldn't dispense her order.

 

The wife hit some products off one of the shelves and burst into tears and I was dry heaving on the sidewalk outside...

[fishinghat]

The anxiety/depression cycle is classic. Psych drs often call depression and anxiety the opposite sides of the same coin. With anxiety the adrenaline spikes, once your body begins to relax and the adrenaline drops it drops too far and this generates an increase in dopamine and therefore depression. Remember, some of your dopamine is converted to norepinephrine and then to adrenaline. If the adrenaline levels drop then more dopamine stays in the form of dopamine and too much contributes to depression. This is your body learning all over to self-adjust neurotransmitter levels. It is a good sign that things are slowly returning to normal.

[invalidusername]

Thank you 'Hat. I am in such a state.

 

With the depression and anxiety hit at the same time at such extreme levels, it is completely unbearable. I'm still in the same state now. 4 hours later.

 

I'm just going to have to hang on to your words for now.

[invalidusername]

Looking at my records, the same thing happened last Tuesday. A sudden switch to a majority depression for a couple of days. But I had not had depression feelings for days before - it's all been the anxiety.

 

I know it is so difficult to ascertain, but from what I have come through, it there any slight indication of the forecast for the rest of the week?

[fishinghat]

Your anxiety/depression cycle will continue but overall each swing will be a little less severe. If you want to monitor your progress then you can tack how many hours of anxiety and depression you have in a row. For example,

18 hours of anxiety straight
12 hours of depression
4 good hours
16 hours of anxiety...
Of course a set of stressful events will have an effect as well.

[fishinghat]

You know, you are actually doing well. Most who wean real fast or cold turkey have months of steady fear and anxiety before they start cycling between anxiety and depression.

[invalidusername]

Well I have done just that, and it really hit at day 4 after stopping.

 

Mon - 5 hours (Anxiety)

Tues - 6 hours (Anxiety/Depression)

Wed - 12 hours (Anxiety/Depression)

Thur - 7 hours (Anxiety)

Fri - 10 hours (Anxiety)

Sat - 11 hours (Anxiety)

Sun - 6 hours (Anxiety)

Mon - 5 hours (Anxiety)

Tues - 2 hours!!! (Anxiety)

Wed - 8 hours and counting  (Anxiety/Depression)

 

The week before while I was weening was 2-3 hours maximum, and more tolerable.

[invalidusername]

"Most who wean real fast or cold turkey have months of steady fear and anxiety before they start cycling between anxiety and depression."

 

So this cycle on a weekly basis... what can I decipher given the above figures?

[invalidusername]

My goodness. Sometimes I just wish we could all suddenly appear in a room together and help ourselves through this. 

 

My wife has her prescription of Lexapro. What I should have been put on weeks ago instead of my Citalopram. I am seriously thinking about starting it myself.

 

My parents have lost it completely with me and my wife. I talk to them and all I get is "well what can we do?".  They can't handle the stress of it all - and neither should they have to in their late 70's. I can see how this sort of thing breaks relations.

 

My heart goes to you gardenlady.

[fishinghat]

It is a good sign that you are cycling up and down. I am sorry to say this but gardenlady is an exception. Her withdrawal has been very bad but she is hanging in there. Keep that data going and I am hoping by 2 or 3 more weeks you will see some improvement.

[invalidusername]

Thank you... from a scientific standpoint, the fluctuation spells out an imbalance - that is what I am reading from this.

 

And bless our dear Gardenlady, but a continuation of symptoms without rest could signify the contrary. 

 

That aside, the continued stress that I have from the MH team is making my recovery a nightmare. I have since read up my rights and according to sources, a written and hand-signed letter to their office in the morning, and a copy to my GP will release me from their clutches, and I should have something to help me through by the end of the week - assuming I have not posed a threat to myself or to others, which I understand that I have not.

[juli]

Glad you have found a way to detach from the MH team. Praying you get your Lexapro by week end.

Hang in there!

[invalidusername]

Thanks Juli.

 

I was beginning to think it would be quicker to emigrate and get help from abroad!!

[fishinghat]

Not really different IUN. Most people go into a sustained imbalance at first and then when they start to get some neurotransmitter control back they begin to do this cycle routine. Up and down in emotions as the body will overshoot and undershoot the right amount of neurotransmitter production. One thing I have noticed is that those who wean the slowest seem to have less steady state symptoms before going into the cycling routine. Now all of this is just speculation and nd subjective but that is the pattern I have seen,

[invalidusername]

I need to catch you up Hat - I am in a real state.

 

I got the Lexapro on Friday and I took 5mg in the evening and my 30mg Citalopram in the morning. Did the same for Saturday, and by Sunday evening I was so emotionally numb I got scared of what the Lexapro was going to do while I was still in the withdrawal state from the Duloextine, so I stopped. So I only took 2 x 5mg of Lexapro.

 

Monday I was just back to 30mg Citalopram. I had some bad dizziness and fatigue by around 3pm and got really bad into the evening. This caused some anxiety and depression. Same thing happened yesterday around the same time, and by around 9pm I had been hit with the worst depression. I took a valium and I started to drfit in and out. I jerked awake around midnight in a state of complete paranoia. I was convulsing and so fearful. The wife called medics out as I couldn't respond to her properly although I could hear what she was saying.

 

Woken this morning is a state of feeling suicidal. What on earth is going on 'Hat? 

 

I have a doc (not p-doc) appointment soon. I am so worried what is going to happen to me. Should I reinstate 10mg of Duloxetine? 

 

ANYTHING is going to be better than I am at the moment. I really cannot take it.... Please help....

[gail]

Hi Scrat,

just before Fishinghat gets here. I thought that you would just switch from one to the other.
The two aren't meant to be taken together. I think that 30 citalopram equals 15 Lexapro.
See what the boss says, but I would simply switch making sure of the right equivalent.

That was a lot of seretonin in your body. Wait for Fishinghat. Lovage

[invalidusername]

Hi Gailage....

 

I just don't know what to do. I am in SUCH a mess. All I can think about it the bad thing. I don't want this Gail...

[gail]

Sweet Scrat,

Unbelievably, it's hell now, but with an expiration date.

We need you, forum has not been the same since your arrival in September. Take a Valium and try the gratitude route even if you can't feel it, name things.

Your presence is very much needed and gives a break to Fishinghat at the same time.

We all need each other, breathe in and out, listen to music. With love, Lovage!

[invalidusername]

I'm trying Gail - really I am... thank you

 

Lovage

[fishinghat]

During withdrawal going on and off meds is a recipe for disaster. Things get confusing and then you don't know what to do. The shame is there is no clear direction.

I do have a question for you. Why did you stop the Lexapro. It is reasonable to expect you to get emotionally numb. You booted your serotonin levels up. That is why after a week you start cutting back on the citalopram. And during the transition you will have a rollercoaster until off the citalopram and fully on the Lexapro. It sounds like the Lexapro will work well for you and you may not even to handle things without going to a full dose.

I would go back on the Lexapro and as soon as you feel the emotional numbness reduce your citalopram a little. Also, take your blood pressure during the emotional numbness stage and I bet it will be low.

Keep us posted.

[invalidusername]

OK. Thank you Hat. I know what I have done is not right. But I am not thinking right at the moment.

 

So I was 30mg Citalopram 'til Friday night, then

 

Saturday morning 5mg Lexapro

Saturday night 20mg Citalopram

Sunday morning 5mg Lexapro

Sunday night NO DOSE (this was where the numbness came in, and I forgot dose)

Monday, Tues, Weds morning 30 Citalopram

 

I just realised I switched PM/AM with Citalopram looking at my notes. I didn't even know I did that.

 

So from where I am, can you suggest a plan, taking which dose when. I worry that splitting the dose I will not get the fully effect. I just don't know.

 

I stopped only because I was scared. Still am. I have no direction. Bad time for the forum to have been down...

 

All I can think that the last time I was stable was on 10/30 of Dulox and Citalopram. But if you really think not going back is a good idea, then I will go with that.

[fishinghat]

What works better for you...Citalopram in the morning or evening?