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Feeling Suicidal. Not Sure If I Have Any Options Left.


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#61 fishinghat

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 01:57 PM

By the way, thanks for the info on what you are taking. I just wanted to be sure there was nothing else that could be causing a problem.


#62 ForLyla

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 02:49 PM

So here is a MAJOR issue for me. I get my prescriptions from a compounding pharmacy and they don't appear to be accurate at all but I can't be sure. I've gone to two different ones and both have been the same. When I weigh some pills, there can be up to a 10% difference in weight but where I'm confused is when it comes to filler. How can we make sure our dosage is accurate accounting for what is filler and what isn't?

 

Should I just continue to weigh all my doses and adjust them to the same weight? My current weight is 0.133 but some pills weigh as low as .122. That's a rather huge difference.


#63 fishinghat

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 03:01 PM

The FDA allows a 10% difference from one capsule to the next. Usually bot a problem except when it comes to a withdrawal. I would continue to weight them.


#64 ForLyla

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 04:03 PM

What about going to liquid? I don't even know how that works but would that be more accurate?


#65 fishinghat

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 04:10 PM

It just depends on how accurate the pharmacy wants to be BUT Cymbalta should only be taken in an enteric coated capsule  even though the beads are enteric coated as well. According to the manufacturer if Cymbalta is exposed to stomach acid is turns to naphthol and that is toxic.


#66 invalidusername

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 05:00 PM

If CBD worked for you previously, then chances are it will surely work again. Have a quick read of my write-up here;

 

https://www.cymbalta...-how-to-use-it/

 

This covers most bases. If you have any specific questions regarding sourcing the oil, doses, effects and so forth, please ask. 

 

Your compounding pharmacy sounds a bit off the mark - accuracy is what you pay them for. Bottom line on the coating to medicine ratio is that there is no way of knowing. Some report that generic are worse and stick only to the genuine article. I had 3 or 4 different generics while I was on them, and all were a bit all over the place.

 

If you can, do it yourself. I seem to remember a user here saying that counting the beads helps with anxiety - so its a win-win situation!


#67 ForLyla

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 06:29 PM

I think weighing is better in my opinion. Beads come in all different shapes and sizes so I don't trust that method. The last 6 days I've weighed my pills at .133 but most of the other pills in my bottle weigh in at .130. Should I bump them up to .133 or leave them as is?  I also don't feel like I can 100% trust my scale. 


#68 invalidusername

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 06:40 PM

Yes - you are right that weighing is the best method - but counting beads can be therapeutic... apparently!

 

If you can get the pills as close to previous dose as possible it will help.


#69 fishinghat

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Posted 05 March 2019 - 06:47 PM

If you have been taking hem to 0.133 then I would stick to that. That is as good a weight as any.


#70 ForLyla

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Posted 06 March 2019 - 07:11 PM

So would you trust weighing it yourself? I've felt slightly better the last couple days. Should I expect to stay feeling better or is this just some initial relief from updosing? Will I decend back into full on hell any day now?


#71 invalidusername

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Posted 06 March 2019 - 07:21 PM

I would trust myself more than anyone! This is why I have fixed my own car since the last garage forgot to tighten up a suspension bolt....

 

I doubt what you are feeling is placebo given your level of attention to the symptoms - so I would like to think that the updose has indeed something to do with it. If that is the case, then you should maintain this benefit. It is unlikely to "poop-out". See what happens in the next few days.


#72 fishinghat

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 10:12 AM

Ditto

#73 ForLyla

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 01:05 PM

I usually feel pretty good in the mornings and as the day progresses I get dizzy and pressure in my head. Then I get a window around 8pm before bed. The anxiety hasn't been as terrible the last few days. I'd have to give it about 2 weeks before I could decide if this was a wise move. 


#74 invalidusername

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 04:24 PM

Yes - 2 weeks is the benchmark. 

 

Please keep us posted - not only are we hoping the best for you with the advice, but you are helping others who befall a similar fate.


#75 ForLyla

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:13 PM

I hate to be such a debbie downer, I just don't know how I can make it out of this sometimes. It's been 2 years of this and I'd say about a year of that has been complete torture. How do I survive this? I feel so brain damaged and my body just feels sick. 

 

Anyway, I guess it's just wait and see now. I feel reasonably functional for the time being. My main symptoms this week are the dizziness, head pressure, headaches, and fatigue. 


#76 invalidusername

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:30 PM

Today I have just crossed the finish line of a marathon - completely exhausted and had enough, then to be told that was the finish line for the kid's marathon... the adults one is 4 times longer... keep going...

 

We survive... somehow.


#77 fishinghat

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:32 PM

I know, it drags on forever it seems. A few of our members took 1 to 2 years to really recover once they finally weaned off but that is unusual. You are doing this on top of a benzo withdrawal so you are going to have to be very patient.

#78 KathyInFL

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Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:27 PM

ForLyla, you can do this! Just listen to all the great advice here. Listen to the Hat, IUN, Gail and others, they know what they talk about.

 

I've been off completely for a few months, it took almost 2 years of weaning. I still have the fatigue but the dizziness, head pressure and brain zaps are almost totally gone. You will be there soon, just keep your eyes on the prize ---> no cymbalta!!


#79 ForLyla

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Posted 08 March 2019 - 10:40 PM

Thanks Kathy. I hope that if I stay at the same dose for a while that things will stabilize and that maybe I can enjoy my summer at least. I have a 6 week old daughter so I need to stay functional for her. 


#80 ForLyla

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Posted 09 March 2019 - 05:26 PM

Kathy, IUN mentioned that you also went through benzo withdrawal? I'd be interested to hear about your experience as I've followed the same path.

 

On a seperate note, I've been getting headaches everyday since upping my dose. Is that normal?


#81 invalidusername

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Posted 09 March 2019 - 05:47 PM

Sorry Lyla - I got confused earlier (blame the cymbalta) I clearly had Kathy on the brain... don't read anything into that Kathy :)

 

I meant GardenLady - she has the experience with the benzos, and is very knowledgeable about the whole process.

 

But if anyone is short on Xanax, I have it on good authority that Kathy has enough to sink a battleship :D :D :D


#82 KathyInFL

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Posted 09 March 2019 - 07:38 PM

Sorry Lyla - I got confused earlier (blame the cymbalta) I clearly had Kathy on the brain... don't read anything into that Kathy :)

 

I meant GardenLady - she has the experience with the benzos, and is very knowledgeable about the whole process.

 

But if anyone is short on Xanax, I have it on good authority that Kathy has enough to sink a battleship :D :D :D

 

 

haha yes, IUN, I have a lot of xanax! My doctor writes for 2 a day and I got a 90 day prescription and I take about 2 pills a week. And I have about 120+ pills left from a 2 year old script.

 

Lyla, I don't take it enough to need to withdraw from it. I guess I'm lucky that I don't take it all that often. I originally got it for fear of flying, and it does help with that.


#83 fishinghat

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Posted 10 March 2019 - 08:04 AM

I have been through benzo withdrawal 4 times forlyla, is there something I can help you with?

#84 invalidusername

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Posted 10 March 2019 - 08:30 AM

Sorry Hat - I forget exactly what you have been through!!


#85 ForLyla

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 12:18 PM

Kathy, how often do you take it? Fishinghat, nothing in particular but it's nice to know there are people out there that can relate to my situation. I've been feeling slightly better the last week. I haven't had any horrific episodes or been as sporadic with how I feel. I'd say at my baseline I feel about 60% like normal now. Still feeling quite shaky. Headaches everyday. And the usual dizziness, blurred vision etc. I'm assuming this can be attributed to finally being able to sleep and upping my dose a bit? 

 

What do you guys think I should do from here? Stay at 25mg? Or should I go back up to 30mg and kick the bucket down the road?


#86 fishinghat

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 12:45 PM

As long as you are tolerable and improving I would give it a couple more weeks and then start tapering again but slower.

#87 invalidusername

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 03:46 PM

I'm with the Hatster here. Don't set yourself up for a longer journey than is necessary. 

 

Sounds like you have the run-of-the-mill stuff going on, but all being well it will pass. Keep us all posted!


#88 ForLyla

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 04:35 PM

Why would I start tapering again so soon? I feel like I should just wait a year or two until I'm completely over my benzo syndrome before I tackle this crap. 


#89 fishinghat

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 05:42 PM

Your choice. Just listen to what your body is saying. If you want to wait it will just be easier later.

#90 gail

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 06:04 PM

ForLyla,

You have a point there, with the benzo syndrome, it might be better to wait.



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