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Bead Counting Tapering - New To Me So All Advice Welcome!


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#481 gail

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:25 AM

NM,

That's wonderful, cbd does that. Again illegal here just like Kratom. But we have Benadryl which helps tremendously! Love you NM!

#482 NotMyself

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 09:04 AM

Hi Gail! It does seem to be helping me. Have mowed the garden and not as much joint pain or even breathlessness. Can’t get over it! So wish it was legal everywhere. It’s madness! Glad the Benadryl’s helping you, sweet soul. Hope you’re having a peaceful day without pain. Much love and blessings, Lion Soul :)

#483 NotMyself

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 07:23 PM

Oh well. Twas too good to last. A Valium has been imbibed after ten days. Such is life. Night night sweet souls. Hope life’s kind tomorrow. Love and blessings xxx :) xxx

#484 invalidusername

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Posted 12 June 2019 - 02:16 PM

Wow - 10 days without valium is that NM?! That is a good stretch!

 

And yes - so IUN is back. I will briefly catch you up. Sunday saw a lot of head pain, and I spent a lot of time on phone to medics to eventually find codiene which I can take as it turns into morphiene in the liver - and I have not had a reaction to that. But the 8 hours it took to find that out and get some relief was not nice.

 

Monday I pushed through with a sub-set of clients - but still got out. Yesterday was oddly a really good day and I got a lot done - may have overdone it, in true IUN style! And today suffering exhaustion, but stress is reduced. 

 

One of the medics also said that my headaches, fog etc is most likely due to the dose of Citalopram, so she told me to drop it from 30mg to 20mg. She seemed to know what she was talking about, and as I have thought this before, I went with it, but have only gone to 25mg at the moment as dropping 10mg would be too much for the system I feel. Today I am treading water a bit, with moments of anxiety, then depression, then anxiety, then depression. Quite possibly due to the dose change?

 

Anyway - so that is me all caught up! Hope all are well?!?


#485 NotMyself

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Posted 12 June 2019 - 03:19 PM

Yay Matt! Good to hear for you, jelly tot. Well a lot of that sounds great; you’ve found a painkiller that you can tolerate and have managed a reduction of the Citalopram! I’m hoping it’s the dose change :). You’ve been seriously busy so hope you’ve had some chill out time too.

Been in all the time as it hasn’t stopped raining for days. Both the east and west coast lines are closed between Scotland and England because of it and Tis rushing along to the summer solstice in less than ten days! And not to put too fine a point on it but it’s FREEEEEEZING!!!!!!! Heating on these last two days. Even cold for Scotland!

Aye, managed a good Valium free stretch but felt a bit off last night and succumbed but very pleased and relieved the CBD’s doing such a good job. Thanks, everyone, for educating me about it. My 5mg capsules should arrive by the weekend so I can have as much flexibility as possible with the dose.

Hope you’re not doing too much this evening, butter bean, and that everyone’s coping with the Life that is. Much love and blessings with candle and incense lighting later xxx :) xxx

#486 invalidusername

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Posted 12 June 2019 - 05:39 PM

You poor sausage - freezing your buns off up north. That is ridiculous weather for the middle of June though. Scary to see what global warming is setting in to being.

 

Really happy to hear that the CBD is doing so well for you. Just keep watching for any potential tolerance effects. As I said, it may not occur as it doesn't with all users... but is possible. Again, please keep me updated as to how you go with it all.

 

I am still preparing a video presentation for the end of year research conference. I thought being 400 miles away I would get away with just simply opting for a video, until they said they could pipe me in live using Skype... giving a LIVE speech for 15 minutes, in front of 100's of people, and then have questions fired at me for another 15 minutes! Are they joking?!? No, no - video it is!!

 

Calming thinking of the candle and incense - thank you xx


#487 invalidusername

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Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:22 AM

Hi NM...

 

How's the weather today? Heating still on? 

 

I am desperately trying to relax here... I have just dropped my car off for MOT - it is the most stressful day of the year for me. I know it sounds strange, but I rely on my car so much, that the prospect of having it off the road is so frightening. I try my best to keep it tip-top, but there is always something. Then I have to fix it... re-book and all over again.

 

And the garage is right in the centre of town, so I drop it off and have to walk a mile through loads of busy shops and people to get home. Made it home and now have the hour or so to wait until I hear the news. Wow this is hard!!

 

...and... breathe...


#488 NotMyself

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Posted 13 June 2019 - 12:45 PM

Hi IUN. Totally get the MOT thing but hopefully by now you’ll have sailed through. Fingers crossed. A presentation by Skype? Never did one of those but imagine it’s less stressful than having to actually be there and travel etc. Go for it - you’ll be fine, jelly bean!

Am feeling pretty awful today but things are slowly improving. Will catch up properly, hopefully tomorrow.

Much love and blessings to everyone xxx :) xxx

#489 invalidusername

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Posted 13 June 2019 - 03:59 PM

It did NM.. it did!! It sailed through :)

 

Another 12 months to breathe and relax!!!

 

Sorry to hear of the downturn today. Hope you can manage to take it in your stride... if you can. I am always wishing that I was less than 500 and something miles away and I could pop in, put the kettle on and we could make everything better :)


#490 NotMyself

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Posted 13 June 2019 - 05:34 PM

Glad the motor’s fine, curly wurly. Aye, tis a long way from Scotland to your neck of the woods but cheers for the thought. Am taking another Valium and going to bed - best thing to do with a bad day is end it. Tomorrow, as they say, is another day. Hope you’re chilling with Mrs IUN, butter bean. Nighty night and much love and blessings xxx :) xxx

#491 invalidusername

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Posted 13 June 2019 - 07:05 PM

Mrs IUN has had a difficult day too, so I am doing my best to cheer her up with my fortunate change in mood today. Bought some nice dinner as I know that food always cheers her up. So after a dose of RR, we are just about to tuck into some veggie breadcrumb things with yorkshire puds and Tesco finest cous cous stuff. 

 

Really hope you have a restful sleep and I will be looking forward to more positive CBD news over the weekend!

 

Much love xx


#492 NotMyself

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Posted 15 June 2019 - 08:44 AM

Sorry Mrs IUN isn’t so good, bless her. Hope she picks up over the weekend and after the yummy vittels. Am utterly exhausted and worn out. Haven’t an ounce of energy. Have the heating on at 20C but still feel hypothermic. Need to sleep and sleep and sleep. Hope everyone’s ok and relaxing. Much love and blessings sweet souls xxx :) xxx

#493 invalidusername

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Posted 15 June 2019 - 09:19 AM

Bless you NM. Still unbelievable that you need the heating on. Surely it has to improve at some point soon... This cannot be doing your energy levels any good I'm sure.

 

I was blessed with 8 hours kip - and am so grateful, but I still couldn't move for another 2 hours! Much like you, I need to rest so much. 

 

Try and get a bit of fresh air if you can NM - it may be a struggle in the cold, but stagnant air is no good for us and can really lower our mood breathing in carbon dioxide rich air from the home. This can also make you tired as well. I attempted a walk yesterday after work as Mrs IUN wanted to go. I wasn't especially anxious, but my goodness, the exhaustion!! I really feel for you. Saying a wee prayer for you when I finish up here..


#494 NotMyself

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Posted 16 June 2019 - 10:15 AM

Cheers, as always, for your kind thoughts and suggestions, curly wurly. Just out of energy at the moment. Complete lack of energy. Need to rest as much as possible but at least I don’t have the heating on today! Will be back when I’ve stopped feeling like I’ve been quietly coshed in the night. Much love and blessings to you and all the dear souls here xxx :) xxx

#495 invalidusername

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Posted 16 June 2019 - 02:07 PM

No heating today?! Wow - that a good thing! Really hope you are resting well as I write. Just like you said to me this time last week, take all the time you need to re-energise.

 

Thoughts and prayers will continue for you butter bean xx


#496 gail

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Posted 16 June 2019 - 03:31 PM

Notmyself,

Hope you feel better soon. Lighting your candle now with a wee prayer. Love you!

#497 NotMyself

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Posted 16 June 2019 - 04:43 PM

Out of likes, IUN and Gail but thanks so much for your kind thoughtfulness. Am so grateful. Am off to bed now. Thanks for the candle and prayers, sweet souls. Much love and nighty night xxx :) xxx

#498 invalidusername

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Posted 17 June 2019 - 07:41 AM

Morning NM - hope you had yourself a good sleep and that you are feeling a little bit more rested today. I don't like to mentioned the "new week" thing as it gives me too much stress!! As i have just said to ForLyla, a good week means a lot of responsibility for the week following for me!! 


#499 NotMyself

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Posted 17 June 2019 - 02:05 PM

Hi IUN! Aye, had some kip but can’t seem to get enough somehow. Today I managed to lurch out into the world in me car and do some vittels shopping and take parcels to the post office. It was all a bit hectic in the Co-op and was glad to get home. Very windy and mostly cloudy but not cold like it has been lately. What do you mean about having responsibility the following week? Soz but the old grey matter’s not up to much at the mo. Hoping everyone’s coping ok and sending much love and blessings xxx :) xxx

#500 invalidusername

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Posted 17 June 2019 - 05:20 PM

Hi my lovely...

 

What I meant was the responsibility to myself to keep up the good days and not go backwards! Not being fair to myself really.

 

So shopping and the post office? Right after the weekend - good job. Monday's always feel like out of the frying pan and into the fryer. But a big warm hug for getting those bits done, and that lovely home feeling when you have accomplished it.

 

I was doing some overthinking when I woke up - as Monday's often dictate and then I got hit with horrible derealisation out of nowhere and I was trying to deal with clients like I was in some sort of computer environment or a dream. Only just worked it out... I dropped 5mg of Citalopram a week ago. That'll be it. Here we go again!!


#501 NotMyself

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Posted 18 June 2019 - 05:50 AM

Och but you can’t put that amount of pressure on yourself, caramac, you really mustn’t. Anyone would collapse under that sort of weight. Please be gentle with yourself and take each moment as it comes. Why do you automatically rush to modern psychology for states of mind? It seems to make you immediately fearful and anxious. Why not try seeing them as natural, possibly spiritual? You may stop reacting negatively to how you’re feeling. This world isn’t intrinsically real, even science has finally come to that conclusion. We’re made of energy and it’s nothing to be frightened of. It’s liberating! Sending you a huge hug, much love and blessings for a happy, peaceful day, cola cube xxx :) xxx

#502 invalidusername

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Posted 18 June 2019 - 10:42 AM

I know - I am really trying to let go.. without fighting it of course. I find it much easier when I am doing things, but morning motivation is non existent. I did have a go at "thought management" today - seeing them as "brain sounds". And just like sounds we can choose to engage with them, or leave them as mere background noise. This is where I want to be.

 

Interesting what you say about reality. Of course, I am on board with that and would say that the Summerland is the true reality. Our lives here are a training and proving ground - like a computer simulation away from our etheric existence.

 

Thank you for hug.. PM to follow later. Hope your exhaustion is lifting a little and that you are also able to engage with some peaceful thoughts.

 

xx


#503 NotMyself

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Posted 21 June 2019 - 04:58 PM

Hi everyone and happy summer solstice if you’re in the northern hemisphere and happy winter solstice if you’re in the south! Sorry for being absent but things have been very full on this last week or so. I couldn’t string any words together and am feeling overwhelmed. Will post properly tomorrow.

I know many are struggling right now so have lit my candle and incense and prayers have been offered for us all. Thanks for all your kindness and checking up on me, sweet IUN. Promise to message you tomorrow. In the meantime, sending everyone much love, peace and blessings for a peaceful weekend xxx :) xxx

#504 invalidusername

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Posted 21 June 2019 - 05:01 PM

Phew! Well timed - just sent you a PM as wanted to let you know we are all thinking of you!

 

Message as and when you can. I have only just suddenly lifted this end and am doing a mad dash on the forum to catch up. Very strange goings-on. Despite having depression I still managed all my clients and a £20 shop in Tesco, fill up with fuel and keep calm when I couldn't find a parking space!

 

Enjoy your candle and incense - find a good book and relax my sweet...


#505 NotMyself

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Posted 22 June 2019 - 10:19 AM

Och bless you sweet soul. I really hope you continue to enjoy more peace despite circumstances. Thanks everyone for little mentions and enquiries here and there. I really do appreciate them. I feel terribly guilty when I’m not able to respond and write posts with one finger on my old iPad. I’m fast approaching the anniversary of the passing of my dearest beloved and I always fall in the pit of despair and total lack of energy at this time so must take a proper sabbatical as everything’s overwhelming me. I live alone and there’s only me holding my hand, in a sense. I hope you understand. In the meantime, every evening I’ll still be lighting a candle and incense and sending prayers and blessings for all. Be content; be at peace. Much love, gentle souls xxx :) xxx

#506 fishinghat

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Posted 22 June 2019 - 10:34 AM

Do what you need to do NM. We understand. We will be praying for you.

#507 gail

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Posted 22 June 2019 - 11:52 AM

Notmyself,

How I thought of you and missed you. Like the boss said, do what you need to do. We all love you so much. Take care, thanks for the candles, and the prayers. Love you! We'll be here when you're ready!

#508 invalidusername

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Posted 22 June 2019 - 12:33 PM

Absolutely. You know where we are should you need anything. 

 

I too will be sending thoughts and prayers your way, sugar-lump.

 

Make sure there is plenty of self-compassion during these times. You have done so well with what life has thrown at you, and you have made such a mark on everyone here by your presence. 

 

Take care xx





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