The many books I have read are all saying the same thing. Do not let your anxiety control your decisions for the day. Just ignore your symptoms and do what you have to.
OK - so that is good from a perspective of learning that there may well be nothing to fear. But today I really hit a point where I could not decide. I wanted to take the day off, but I felt I was giving in to my anxiety. Surely going to work will distract? What if it doesn't and my thoughts take over? Will I be better off taking the day off? But then I will be with my thoughts all day?
I went to work - first client and I started having an anxiety attack. Trying to think of an excuse to go back home. But then I will have failed? I would be doing the same at home as I am here? How will I cope with tomorrow knowing that I failed today? Why didn't I just stay at home....
I have finished work - fortunately only 3 hours away from home - but I feel awful and wish I could turn the clock back and not gone out.
How do we know what is right for us at these times?
If there a right thing to do?
I am trying to tell myself that I have done well in earning money and seeing the attack through, but I can only think I have made things worse...