I had my weekly therapy on Monday. I was definitely a mess after talking to the doctor. My therapist kind of helped put things in their place, as she does.
Looking at the tremendous amount of upheaval and change in my life that's happened in the past year parallel to the withdrawal: moving to a new state with no close friends or family, the pandemic obviously, being the sole earner in our household for the past year while my own job was going through a lot of ups and downs and layoff scares, just to name the biggest ones lol. I wish I could do some type of controlled experiment where I could see how I would have handled all of those things if I were still on Cymbalta or even before I ever took Cymbalta. Whether I would have become bogged down by anxiety anyway. We'll never know of course. So it's very possible that the anxiety over all of those simultaneous things is manifesting itself much more physically.
She gave me some confidence that taking an SSRI now does not mean I'm permanently damaged or need to take it for the rest of my life. It can just serve as a stop gap measure to get over this difficult phase in my life and come off of it again when I feel stronger and more secure in our new life in the Bay Area. I think that really resonated with me. I've made a TON of progress just relying on myself and my own coping tools, but I'm not completely where I want to be. And I think I'm at a point where I need to accept some help.
My therapist offered to help me find a psychiatrist to talk to who has some experience with people who have had bad experiences with medication or is wary. So we'll see. But I like to be prepared with my own information, so I really have two main questions:
1. Is there an SSRI that you guys have seen be effective for anxiety that also is less likely to cause bad withdrawal when getting off? Are there any SSRIs that are easier to taper (like say have a lot of different dosages? where you don't have to count crazy tiny beads to taper.....)
2. We're not at the point where we're trying to have any kids yet but I'm 33 so if we decide to it will be soon. Is there research about effects of taking an SSRI while pregnant or post pregnancy?