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2 Months Off After Somewhat Slow Taper. Really Struggling


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#301 Mxpro32

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 02:04 PM

It wouldn't make withdrawal less severe if I started now, vs staying on it even longer?

#302 fishinghat

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 02:45 PM

It may or may not. Normally the manufacturers say over 4 weeks on the withdrawal is set but there also seems to be some variability in that from person to person. I would say after 3 months on it will make very little differenced but that is just based on what I have seem in myslf and others.


#303 Mxpro32

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 03:10 PM

A friend recommended NAC. Thoughts?

#304 fishinghat

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 04:12 PM

There is considerable information on NAC in the ebook. A couple people have used it with some success in both Cymbalta and benzo withdrawal. I have had good luck with it and Lion's Mane Mushroom (water extract) in my benzo withdrawal. Of you decide to try the NAC it can be used up to 600 mg twice a day but for some people it can cause constipation at that level.

#305 invalidusername

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 04:26 PM

MX - just a thought, but have you considered a sleep study? 

 

Not some silly participation thing, but a proper bonefide place that does the real deal. A lot can be found in your brain activity through a proper study. If you have been through all the medication, there is no harm in trying if the cashflow permits.

 

Most of the people that go to these places are in a similar place to you.... I'd certainly consider it over the drug route.


#306 Mxpro32

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 05:20 PM

MX - just a thought, but have you considered a sleep study? 

 

Not some silly participation thing, but a proper bonefide place that does the real deal. A lot can be found in your brain activity through a proper study. If you have been through all the medication, there is no harm in trying if the cashflow permits.

 

Most of the people that go to these places are in a similar place to you.... I'd certainly consider it over the drug route.

I have an apt with my dr Friday. I’m going to have him refer me to a sleep specialist.


#307 invalidusername

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Posted 11 February 2020 - 05:25 PM

That's the way... do it.

 

Keep us posted. Behind you all the way my friend.


#308 Mxpro32

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 02:24 PM

I've been taking nac for a few days and it seems to really be helping. I swear it's helping me to ruminate less and my mood seems better.

#309 Polly38

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 02:57 PM

That's really interesting about NAC Mxpro. I was taking it when I first stopped taking Cymbalta but I had so many symptoms and thought the NAC was causing some of them.

Do you think it helps with the shortness of breath and tense/anxious feeling? Sorry for all the questions!

#310 invalidusername

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 04:46 PM

That one was the next on my list to try before I started showing improvement.

 

Did Hat plenty of good...


#311 Mxpro32

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 05:51 PM

I'm pretty much past the worst of the anxiety and chest tension. It helps with my mood and rumination. I can't tell exactly because I still have verying levels of anxiety, but it may be giving me energy which could exacerbate anxiety. Although I took it before bed last night and actually slept better than I have in a while. I slept from 11 to 5. My main problem has been depression and rumination, and I think it's really helping with that.

#312 frog

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 07:37 PM

Ugh I'm going through another wave right now since about Sunday afternoon after having a pretty pleasant week last week and that's got me feeling pretty bummed out. The anxiety can still be quite mean and still grows out of nowhere. The intensity of the emotions/crying seems to have lessened a bit. I cried at the therapist's on Monday but outside of that I haven't cried in a couple weeks. I guess that's something?

Having tasted a great day, it's so hard to be patient while in a crappy series. My daily routine is so monotonous now because we don't really have any friends or family here and I'm not feeling well enough yet to make plans with people I don't really know. So it's just go to work, come home, maybe go on a short walk, watch TV until it's time for bed, rinse, repeat. It's got me feeling even more frustrated because I'm so ready to get out there and go to restaurants and take trips with my husband and do more enjoyable things again, but I'm still restrained by fear and anxiety. 

 

I should probably just give a read of that book you recommended. I guess I feel a little pessimistic because I already feel like I'm trying so hard to be accepting of the state of things and it's so damn hard. 


#313 Mxpro32

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Posted 13 February 2020 - 08:54 PM

"trying so hard". It really isnt about trying so hard. It's about turning the doing mode off and the being mode on. Read the book. It won't solve all your problems but it teaches you the right mindset for meditation and provides the audio files for the guided meditations. My good days are getting more frequent. Do you track your moods on a calender? Ive been doing that and journaling and it helps track the 0rogress so you have something to refer to on the bad days. I've had 2 really good days in a row, 3 neutral days before that, and 4 good days before that. Before that was a stretch of really bad and hopeless days. When I hit the bad days again, I can refer to this good stretch for reassurance that things are headed in the right direction.

I've had a good day, but Ive had some crying bubble up. So far it's been happy crying, but sometimes those sensitive powerful emotions signal a down turn. Hopefully not, or if so hopefully it's just to a neutral state.

#314 fishinghat

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 09:17 AM

"trying so hard". It really isnt about trying so hard. It's about turning the doing mode off and the being mode on.

Absolutely true. That is what dealing with Cymbalta withdrawal is all about.


#315 frog

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 12:43 PM

I thought I was doing a decent job of just going with the flow the past couple weeks but I definitely struggled this week with not reacting to anxious and pessimistic thoughts and letting them pull me down a bit. I think I'm getting better at noticing myself doing that though. Mostly I'm just feeling exhausted by this whole process at this point so the downturns are grating on me more and more. 

 

I do have a tracker that I've been keeping since Christmas. I give my anxiety level a score from 1-5 (1 being the lowest/best) and my overall day a score from 1-5 (5 would be a super normal, easy, enjoyable day). And I'll write out a few notes to give some context. Maybe there's a better way. I think a 3.5 score would be equivalent to a neutral day, 4 is good, 4.5 is great. I feel like neutral is a bit hard to define. Would you say neutral is still feeling kind of off/tense and having some anxiety throughout the day? 


#316 Mxpro32

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 03:58 PM

It's easy to get discouraged and impatient and try to fight against it, which for me just equals more suffering until I submit and accept again. I struggled with that after I slept through the night 3 nights and then it was taken from me. I was pissed off and feeling sorry for myself. I was ruminating about lack of sleep, and it was making me miserable. The day I started taking nac, I also decided not to think about the fact I wasn't sleeping any more. Not sure if it was that or the nac, but I've been sleeping from 11 to 5 every night, which is a huge improvement. I've actually been super sleepy at bedtime too, even before my meds, and that never happened before.

#317 frog

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 05:12 PM

that's great! I'm sure it's related to the fact that you've been having better days overall. Less adrenaline, less anxiety, less tension, more relaxation = less resistance to sleep and as we know sleep is a fragile thing :)

 

I know things are still moving in the right direction because last Friday was so much better than any "good" day I had prior to that. But I think that was also why the comedown was so hard. It gave me too much hope that I had turned a corner for good


#318 Mxpro32

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 06:03 PM

I've felt so alive the last few days I've cried tears of joy like one of those babies hearing it's moms voice for the first time. Knowing this is possible makes it all worth it. Not sure if it's the nac, but the timing fits. Since I've started it, I actually get super sleepy at bedtime on my own too.

#319 frog

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 06:49 PM

That's really interesting. How much do you take and what time of day? Were you not seeing these stretches of good days prior to starting to take it? 

 

FH is there any potential for adverse effects from taking NAC? 


#320 Mxpro32

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Posted 14 February 2020 - 08:12 PM

It's completely just my experience over a few days so I wouldn't get my hopes up.

#321 fishinghat

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Posted 15 February 2020 - 08:16 AM

frog - NAC can cause bad constipation in doses of 1200 mg/day or more. It is  a strong antioxidant and also raises BDNF (this substance increases the rate at which nerves heal.)


#322 Mxpro32

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Posted 15 February 2020 - 12:33 PM

That's interesting regarding the constipation. I've been having a little of the opposite problem.

#323 Mxpro32

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 01:24 PM

Had a great day yesterday too. Just felt alive and present, which is something I haven't felt much in years. I was sleepy again last night and slept well.

#324 gail

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 05:51 PM

Out of likes, loved your post! Love

#325 Lovey

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 07:35 PM

Mxpro I am absolutely THRILLED FOR YOU!!!!!

#326 Mxpro32

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 08:12 PM

Thanks so much. I had a good day today too. Spent the weekend at the beach with my wife and kids. I'm stringing together quite the stretch of fantastic to good days. I'm hoping maybe I've turned a corner and the worst of it is behind me, but I'm also preparing for a backslide so I'm not too disappointed when it happens.

#327 Lovey

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Posted 16 February 2020 - 10:29 PM

That's awesome,another good day yay! I'm managing an ongoing existential questioning of my life's events and relationships. You know, light fare lol. Balancing it out with silly 80s movies to lighten my mind. Got out for a little exercise and sun today. It did me well.

#328 Mxpro32

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Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:40 AM

That must be tricky sorting things like that out while also dealing with withdrawal. My life is pretty much perfect and I was still bogged down in existential angst. I couldn't stop pondering the big questions and the point of it all. I seriously felt my best days were behind me and just bawl my eyes out. Objectively it's ridiculous. I have 2 healthy kids, 4 and 6, and a loving wife. It's unreal what this does to you.

#329 gail

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Posted 17 February 2020 - 07:53 AM

Mxpro,

A weekend at the beach, really? So so jealous of you. Here it's snow and cold. Love

#330 Lovey

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Posted 17 February 2020 - 12:35 PM

Gail snow and cold and endless gray skies here too. Just a couple more weeks! Can't wait!!



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