Checking In Again
#1
Posted 10 December 2019 - 03:51 PM
#4
Posted 10 December 2019 - 04:59 PM
#8
Posted 10 December 2019 - 06:03 PM
Hi H...
I'm still up and about in the UK til the early hours...
I have been through a number of different therapists - some lasting longer than others, but my advice is along the exact lines of what Hat said. The first session, regardless of how many other previous therapists you have tried, can be a real shocker and will make you feel vulnerable. Opening up to a stranger about deep feelings and emotions.
Best bet is to choke this one down to the fact that a wound has to inspected if it is to heal. You have done the worst part already. I always leave most first sessions feeling it was a bad idea - sometimes the second as well, but it all starts to make sense.
Obviously this will have been exacerbated given the Cym situation as well, but it is good that you went with it as there will never be a "right" time to start therapy. You just have to dive in. Just make sure that you have a good rapport with the therapist - it may take a couple to find the right one, or you may already have found them.
I'll be here for a while yet if you need any further support my friend...
IUN
#12
Posted 10 December 2019 - 09:41 PM
#13
Posted 10 December 2019 - 09:47 PM
#14
Posted 10 December 2019 - 09:53 PM
Sounds like you took on a fair bit with all this parent talk... never had that subject approached before myself, but I can well imagine it is the cause for many a session in the therapists room. Although I would say a therapist should be guiding you to a certain extent. Mine often steers me back on to the right route and nearly always comes back to where she tells me my problems lie. She is very clever in that I never see it happening!!
Well, I will have to call it a night this end as is almost 3am in the UK and I am trying to reel some of the time in to get more daylight. Very difficult being nocturnal this time of the year....
#15
Posted 10 December 2019 - 10:15 PM
#16
Posted 11 December 2019 - 09:14 AM
#17
Posted 11 December 2019 - 12:09 PM
Had my therapy today - woke up an hour before the alarm, but wondered if I should try to sleep again. Ended up sleeping and having the most vivid dream about sleeping past my alarm! I was in a right state when I woke up! According to my therapist it is my textbook symptoms of not being in control playing out... the root of my stress.. yada yada. She is absolutely right, but I was in a semi-derealisation state for most of the session. This is when I know it is time to calm things down. My brain just wants some time offline, but with the wife to care for 24/7 it just doesn't get it. Still got two clients and some shopping left to do this evening. Can't say I am looking forward to it.
It is like a good friend of mine often says, the world is a bus and you just want to pull the cord and get off...
#18
Posted 11 December 2019 - 10:09 PM
friends, I had a heroic move today in keeping my dentist appointment despite huge anxiety! and, especially after the day i had yesterday. I took mxpro's advice about kind of going on with things and not indulging the fears and thoughts too much. The weird thoughts and feelings were still there but I chose to place myself into action and into other activities that needed to be done. I.E. dentist. 5 shots of Novocaine! and two cavities later.... I am alive! haha. I made myself a playlist with lots of Beatles and songs to help me tune out what was happening. Music helps me a lot.
fishinghat, mom doesn't grasp my point of view or my life experience, the way I function/operate, however you want to think of it. I think some people struggle with empathy. Especially if they don't even understand their own patterns and ways of functioning and relating to the world, and to others. I could write a long dissertation on this, and may, at some point. For now, just working on myself. And trying to stop feeling guilty for not trying to take care of her. She has her own struggles, but I certainly can't fix her! So that was a lot of what we addressed in my session yesterday. I grew up caretaking, both her and myself. She was lacking in affection and encouragement, which led to a lot of negative self concept. I feel pretty good about the person I am. There is still a little more work there to be done though. Re-programming my mind and beliefs so to speak, to align with what I can now see, as an adult, the truth about myself. You can't pour love from an empty bucket, sums her up pretty well.
#19
Posted 11 December 2019 - 10:17 PM
iun, I understand what you mean. I want to run away and live in a little beach house near the ocean. Paint for hours every day!
I also struggle with "not being in control"........the serenity prayer is helpful I think. Life feels very scary sometimes. Trusting God is really the foundation of healing, but also trusting ourselves. I've lived through, and survived so much, and I have God to thank, but also myself for making lots of good and healthy choices. Knowing where to ask for help and who not to ask too! I am thankful for you, and my friends on here. When I get some extra cash, I will become a site supporter. Good night everyone. zzzzzzzz gonna catch some zzzz's
- invalidusername likes this
#20
Posted 12 December 2019 - 09:30 AM
You can't make someone happy unless you are happy too.
You must take care of yourself and get yourself in the right way before you will have the strength and focus to help your mom with her problems.
#22
Posted 12 December 2019 - 04:14 PM
Absolutely right - it is NOT your job to fix her. Only you can fix you and only she can fix herself. Simple.
After reading your messages about anxiety, I would strongly suggest you look up David Daish's videos on poo tube. I found him at the height of my struggles and they really helped along with Claire Weekes' work, which is what he also followed to come out the other side. The guy was a legend and is still posthumously helping people today.
https://www.youtube....er/OldRockMan58
- Lovey likes this
#24
Posted 15 December 2019 - 09:44 AM
I'm having trouble processing visual information in general, too much bright light. Am I a gremlin lol?
Probably need to slow down. Have been very active and busy. Calling in to work today. Need a day off. Someone please talk to me. The itchy buggy feeling is bad today too:(
#27
Posted 15 December 2019 - 01:24 PM
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#28
Posted 15 December 2019 - 03:52 PM
#29
Posted 15 December 2019 - 05:44 PM
You are never alone with us here H....
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#30
Posted 15 December 2019 - 06:01 PM
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