Hi all, I've found this site to be extremely helpful in clarifying a lot of what I'd been feeling physically and mentally on cymbalta... I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one but saddened to hear of so many others suffering too...
This all began about two weeks into December. I was prescribed 30 mg bead capsules by my rather young doctor on the basis that it should alleviate joint pain from previous injuries and aid my chronic depression, anxiety, and related insomnia. Starting this regimen was partially responsible for pulling me out of a self destructive emotional tail spin so for that, I am thankful. It also allowed me to effective ignore the things out of my control that will sometimes permeate my thought processes.
However, I noticed during the first few days that my emotions were squished or compressed down to nearly nil. I was so fatigued that I couldn't move and I noticed my energy was gone. My appetite was gone. I was dissociated from my body and felt like there was a warm, sometimes itchy blanket between me and my nerves. My sex drive disappeared completely within two weeks. I stopped sleeping entirely. After missing one dose on new years and felt like I was losing my mind. That scared me.
I pressed on for another week and a half while taking note of the side effects in addition to those listed above. I had constantly sweaty palms, issues with visual focus and acuity, my first few blackouts ever, and I could literally see my manly bits shrinking. (Talk about scary!!) I also dropped from 187 lbs down to 173 lbs in this 3 1/2 week time period.
At this point I went back to the same doctor after a month and he said I should drop to 20 mg. Told me there should be no withdrawal in dropping doses or jumping straight off of 20 mg to zero. I knew that wasn't true, especially after doing some reading of first hand accounts.
So I thought I'd be ballsy and see if I can just "power through" like I did when getting off zoloft... I went for it and brought out every coping skill I have. I was writing songs to alleviate my negative thinking, running every day, exercising, eating well, reading, etc etc
Took three me days and I was having an uncontrollable anxiety attack instead leaving to go on a date with someone I really wish I didn't muck that up with. But that's secondary to the fact I need to get better to be functional again. The withdrawal was worse than anything I'd ever experienced (though maybe akin to getting off a high dose of zoloft.)
So on the 14th I started taking 15 beads (~1.5 mg) twice a day just so I could barely manage. I gave it three days and noted the worst of the withdrawal was not as bad as it was cold turkey. But the strongest side effects, particularly the exhaustion and sexual dysfunction, were still present.
On the 18th I tried to drop to 10 beads (~1 mg) twice a day. It set about the worst of the withdrawal all over again. I felt much worse than I ever did before taking this drug. I stuck with this regimen for another 3 days until I saw mild improvement.
On the 21st I dropped to 9 beads twice a day. Repeat of the previous withdrawal cycle. The sweaty palms have passed as of yesterday so I'm going to drop another bead or two today.
Wish me luck guys. I'm not excited to repeat this withdrawal cycle for another 1-3 months. And then god knows how long afterward. I am scared this drug is going to do permanent damage to my psyche because of how neurotic the withdrawal makes me (insane mood swings) as well as how it seems to separated me from me body even at low doses (in abstract terms). I assume it'll be just as bad or worse if I try to go turkey again.
The real irony is that besides this drug, I am as healthy as I've been in 10 years physically. And I can see the happiness underneath the withdrawal. But I can't reach it. I can't touch it. And knowing it's months or years away from me being me again.... ugh. Should have done my research...
Thanks everyone for posting your experiences. It has helped immensely knowing I'm not alone.