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#1 brokedowninohi

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Posted 25 January 2020 - 06:54 AM

Hi all, I've found this site to be extremely helpful in clarifying a lot of what I'd been feeling physically and mentally on cymbalta... I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one but saddened to hear of so many others suffering too...

 

This all began about two weeks into December. I was prescribed 30 mg bead capsules by my rather young doctor on the basis that it should alleviate joint pain from previous injuries and aid my chronic depression, anxiety, and related insomnia. Starting this regimen was partially responsible for pulling me out of a self destructive emotional tail spin so for that, I am thankful. It also allowed me to effective ignore the things out of my control that will sometimes permeate my thought processes. 

 

However, I noticed during the first few days that my emotions were squished or compressed down to nearly nil. I was so fatigued that I couldn't move and I noticed my energy was gone. My appetite was gone. I was dissociated from my body and felt like there was a warm, sometimes itchy blanket between me and my nerves. My sex drive disappeared completely within two weeks. I stopped sleeping entirely. After missing one dose on new years and felt like I was losing my mind. That scared me.

 

I pressed on for another week and a half while taking note of the side effects in addition to those listed above. I had constantly sweaty palms, issues with visual focus and acuity, my first few blackouts ever, and I could literally see my manly bits shrinking. (Talk about scary!!) I also dropped from 187 lbs down to 173 lbs in this 3 1/2 week time period. 

 

At this point I went back to the same doctor after a month and he said I should drop to 20 mg. Told me there should be no withdrawal in dropping doses or jumping straight off of 20 mg to zero. I knew that wasn't true, especially after doing some reading of first hand accounts.

 

So I thought I'd be ballsy and see if I can just "power through" like I did when getting off zoloft... I went for it and brought out every coping skill I have. I was writing songs to alleviate my negative thinking, running every day, exercising, eating well, reading, etc etc

 

Took three me days and I was having an uncontrollable anxiety attack instead leaving to go on a date with someone I really wish I didn't muck that up with. But that's secondary to the fact I need to get better to be functional again. The withdrawal was worse than anything I'd ever experienced (though maybe akin to getting off a high dose of zoloft.)

 

So on the 14th I started taking 15 beads (~1.5 mg) twice a day just so I could barely manage. I gave it three days and noted the worst of the withdrawal was not as bad as it was cold turkey. But the strongest side effects, particularly the exhaustion and sexual dysfunction, were still present.

 

On the 18th I tried to drop to 10 beads (~1 mg) twice a day. It set about the worst of the withdrawal all over again. I felt much worse than I ever did before taking this drug. I stuck with this regimen for another 3 days until I saw mild improvement.

 

On the 21st I dropped to 9 beads twice a day. Repeat of the previous withdrawal cycle. The sweaty palms have passed as of yesterday so I'm going to drop another bead or two today. 

 

Wish me luck guys. I'm not excited to repeat this withdrawal cycle for another 1-3 months. And then god knows how long afterward. I am scared this drug is going to do permanent damage to my psyche because of how neurotic the withdrawal makes me (insane mood swings) as well as how it seems to separated me from me body even at low doses (in abstract terms). I assume it'll be just as bad or worse if I try to go turkey again.

 

The real irony is that besides this drug, I am as healthy as I've been in 10 years physically. And I can see the happiness underneath the withdrawal. But I can't reach it. I can't touch it. And knowing it's months or years away from me being me again.... ugh. Should have done my research...

 

Thanks everyone for posting your experiences. It has helped immensely knowing I'm not alone. 

 

 

 


#2 fishinghat

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Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:12 AM

Welcome brokedowninohi

Unluckily that is a very common story. Actually you seem to be doing fairly well at this point and with a good plan to move forward.

One thing I noticed was your description of a reduction in size of private parts. This is often a sign of low testosterone production which can  occur on Cymbalta. This usually fades away after you have been off the Cymbalta for at least 3 months. I would not recommend a testosterone test at this point as most drs are not familiar with this situation and would tend to put you on testosterone replacement therapy. Once on that you would be taking it forever so just hang in there. The low testosterone can contribute to some of the emotional symptoms you may experience. I also wonder if low T may have been an issue before going on Cymbalta because it can cause the symptoms you were previously experiencing.


#3 brokedowninohi

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Posted 25 January 2020 - 09:46 AM

Howdy hat, you were one of the folks whose input I was really hoping to get. 

 

I'm glad to hear that I am doing well in general terms. I would certainly not be doing well if I hadn't found this website or the information contained therein. It's given cold clarity to what I'm experiencing and reassured me that it's not all in my head. I have so much respect for you and the others on this site for doing what you're doing.

 

Interesting point about low T... I was thinking the cymbalta was the cause and had not considered it may be a preexisting condition. S'pose that's a bridge to cross once I find some new sense of normal. The good news is that the privates have pretty much returned to normal once I dropped down to 2 mg. But dang was I scared that I'd lose my love making ability in my early '30's because of a brief stint on a monster of a medication.

 

The best way I know how to describe my preexisting mental and physical symptoms is my body is always in a state of extremes. I have been stuck alternating between lethargy/fatigue and full on fight or flight mode for almost 20 years. This was only exacerbated due to injuries, the isolation of moving back to my hometown, several bad relationships, losing my closest family members left and right, and effectively being stuck raising children on my own... plus a myriad of other factors that would stress anyone out.

 

I started this med because I was hell-bent on taking charge of life on my terms. I just had no idea that this would make it that much more difficult. At least I'll come out the other end of this tunnel stronger for it...

 

Thanks again. Knowing I'm not alone in this battle makes all the difference.

 

 

 

EDIT: Small update with big results.

 

The physical symptoms of anxiety were running rampant this morning and I decided to try ashgawandha. Made a trip to my "local" corporate grocery and picked up some "organic non-GMO" non-certified ashgawandha in 500 mg tablets, advertised as being 10% withanolides. It does not have any black pepper content so I supplemented some out of curiosity.

 

I swear that single tablet did more in a couple hours for relieving my physical anxiety than 5k run, a hot shower, and a three hour romp with someone would have... holy cow. 

 

Even if this feeling only lasts a little bit, the relief is palpable. It truly "chilled" me right out and wiped out 80% of the unpleasantness I am currently experiencing. I think I might even be able to sleep tonight. 

 

I don't want to get anyone else's hopes up that they will see the same results but I highly recommend trying it if you're looking for some relief. 


#4 invalidusername

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Posted 29 January 2020 - 09:16 PM

Hi there...

 

Apologies for the delayed response - I somehow missed your post, but must have got lost in everything else going on during that day - but good to have you here, and thanks for sharing your story thus far. Certainly some scary odds and sods there, but nothing we haven't seen before - it can all be accounted for in terms of the withdrawal effects.

 

Wise move with the Ash - and at 10% withanolides - that is quite a high quality - is it KSM-66? I would assume so, otherwise I might question the aforementioned.

 

There is a fair bit of information on the site regarding ash, and I hope it is still working for you. Just be aware that most people find that tolerance creeps up on them fairly quickly. It is something you should consider every few weeks, or once a month, to take a few days out. Not worth taking a day out every week - it is better to do it after a month or so, otherwise you loose the effects of compounded levels in the system.

 

Black pepper can indeed help onset and metabolism process, but more important is to ensure that you take with some levels of saturated fats. Can be taken with a meal if desired, but if you are taking on an empty stomach, even if you have eaten 1-2 hours before, make sure you take the dose with some milk, or a small piece of chocolate. 

 

What dose are you taking of the 500mg - is that one or two capsules? And how are you doing now? Are they still working well for you?

 

Thanks again for sharing.

 

IUN


#5 brokedowninohi

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Posted 30 January 2020 - 01:36 PM

Hi IUN, no worries. The ash is not KSM-66. It was Kroger's Simple Truth brand so I'd treat the advertised quality with some healthy skepticism. But I can tell you the effect was strong for an active male in their early 30's. lThe ones I bought are actually hard pressed pills, not capsules. I only took one at a time at 12 hour intervals. It truly was monumental in pulling my body out of some of the worst physical/muscular symptoms I've experienced.

 

I only took the ash actively for two and a half days beginning Saturday morning. When I stopped it was still a higher dose than I probably needed. The best analogy I have is that the ash did for my body what CBD's do for my brain. 

 

In general, I began to notice that I had been having borderline uncontrollable hypomanic episodes daily and making very poor decisions as a result. I pinged from low to high, high to low, etc at seemingly random. It was a rapid progression that I almost didn't notice until I was already on cloud nine or sunken back into the depths of depression. My friends and family took note of this pattern before I did and expressed their concerns to me. 

 

As a result, I did something somewhat irresponsible and went cold turkey again after a rapid taper (6 and 4 on Saturday, 4 Sunday morning). If I kept having hypomanic episodes I was going to self destruct. At least this way it feels like I have some control. 

 

Advice for anyone else: don't do what I did. I am experiencing full withdrawal. Brain zaps are gone, did A LOT of crying yesterday, and now I'm back to having tension in my body, particularly my chest. It's not nearly as bad as it was the first time. But it's still really bad.

 

Because of the above, I took about 1/3 of an ash pill with a slice of pizza before writing this. I felt like the full dose might slow me down too much if the cymbalta exhaustion kicks in again today.


#6 invalidusername

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Posted 30 January 2020 - 06:27 PM

Ah - no - this is Sensoril, which is the alternative to KSM-66, so the facts will be correct. They cannot print that they use Sensoril and not - they would be screwed! So, yes, this is a good brand to use.

 

Sorry - just to confirm, you are having this hypomania episodes as a result of the withdrawal? And the Ash is helping with controlling this?

 

500mg of full spectrum root is an average dose. I was on about 1500mg by the time I went off them. I took one every night and it really helped, but I got a tolerance quite quick. Some people have been quite sensitive to it, but it is very difficult to "overdose" on Ash - even at a few grams. You would fall asleep before you did anything harmful...


#7 Polly38

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Posted 31 January 2020 - 12:27 PM

Hi

I just wanted to say hi and reassure you that what you're going through is, unfortunately, normal at this stage for coming off this horrible drug. Like you, I was only on it a short time (about 4 weeks) and it took me 15 weeks to taper off. Even though I did it slowly, I'm still having withdrawals. I have been off nearly 10 weeks. My main symptoms are stomach issues but it's the tension in my body, and particularly my chest, that are the most scary. I also have shortness of breath. You are certainly in the right place as everyone is so supportive (particularly the wonderful IUN and Hat). It's actually comforting to know I'm not alone and going mad, and others have gone, and are going through, this.

Just wanted to reassure you and say that it will get easier. Hang in there.

Polly

#8 brokedowninohi

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Posted 04 February 2020 - 03:54 PM

Thanks Polly. I came here specifically in hopes of reassuring people that they are not alone as much as I did for my own support. :)

 

IUN, yes, I was having severe hypomanic episodes. These were identified by close friends. Looking back, they were absolutely on point. The only comparison I have is coming off of Zoloft but those episodes were even more drastic. At least I didn't think I'd invented free energy again!

 

I spent the 31st through the 2nd in a soul wrenching depression but got through it with friends and coping skills. Yesterday was the first day in awhile I'd felt like myself and seemed to be relatively free of the withdrawal. I could feel joy again and it was wonderful. Today was another better day though I spent more time crying from empathetic feelings than I'd care to admit. 

 

As for the ash, I've taken 1000 mg for the past two nights and slept like a baby. I haven't woken that refreshed or free of muscular tension in a while. I really wish I'd found the ash before I went on cymbalta. It would helped immensely with my own injury related muscular tension, which seems to be one of the primary reasons the doc put me on this junk...


#9 invalidusername

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Posted 04 February 2020 - 05:27 PM

So glad you had that window of joy! Just shows you that you are not broken! There is more to come...





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