19 replies to this topic

[Lovey]

Hi friends, I need some encouragement. Feeling very low and down. I don't know it's a withdrawl symptom or not but I have made no changes for a solid 7 weeks. I am taking stock of my life so far and of what I would like to see in my future. It's a lot to ponder and sort through. I could really use some kind words and help getting through.

[invalidusername]

Hey H.... Still awake over here in the UK, so thought I'd pop in an do what I can to encourage.

 

First up, remember that life by its very nature has its ups and downs. We all seem to forget that before our mental health problems, there were days like these - we just paid them no mind knowing that they would go away. But for whatever reason, we seem to forget this. I know if often helps to know the reason behind it, but questioning it will often make things worse. This is why we must simply accept.

 

The other thing to remember is that it is not the emotion that is the enemy... as Dr Steven Brownlow puts it;

 

"It's not the emotion itself that is the problem but how we feel about having had that emotion. Likewise it is not the thought that derails us, but rather our fear about what the thought says about us. Thoughts and feelings are just commentary in our lives, not marching orders"  

 

Enjoy the good days to the fullest and work through the bad ones the best way you know how. Eventually those good days WILL become the norm and things will get easier. Just don't get caught in the trap of thinking you've always got a collapse waiting to happen.

 

Hope that helps a bit...

[lady2882Nancy]

Look how far you have come. Be proud of yourself for all your hard work. 

This is not an easy journey but we seem to expect ourselves to finish fast. 

Give yourself some love tonight.

[Lovey]

Yes these were helpful words iun and nancy. Thank you so much. I am feeling the whole rainbow of emotions over here! Probably a lot that were suppressed for decades. I really have come very far, you're absolutely right to remind me. It's hard not to feel jealousy and anger for those who've not had the mental health challenges I have. It's a lot of feelings of its not fair. And mourning, and loss of what I should have got (a stable loving family). Accepting that they just are not equipped to give me what I need. But there are others who are. This is my brick wall.

[Mxpro32]

I'm hoping for the best for you. I've noticed you mentioning your life circumstances. Its tough to be happy when dealing with tough life circumstances under any conditions, much less when dealing with withdrawals. Cut yourself some slack on the recovery timeline, and try to cut down on stress as much as possible (easier said than done). Try to have compassion with yourself, and those around you. You are going to be fine, it's just not going to be fun. Also remember the minds tendency to make everything a much bigger deal when it's not in a good place. We are here for you.

[Mxpro32]

Yes these were helpful words iun and nancy. Thank you so much. I am feeling the whole rainbow of emotions over here! Probably a lot that were suppressed for decades. I really have come very far, you're absolutely right to remind me. It's hard not to feel jealousy and anger for those who've not had the mental health challenges I have. It's a lot of feelings of its not fair. And mourning, and loss of what I should have got (a stable loving family). Accepting that they just are not equipped to give me what I need. But there are others who are. This is my brick wall.

Just saw this post. I've been dealing with the same issue (lack of supportive family). I basically only have my brother from my family. It's done me a lot of good to try and see the reality instead of hoping and wishing things were better. I've had to mourn the loss of how I wished things were. Do you have any friendships you can grow or cultivate? I cry every time anyone shows they give a crap about me, so it was hard for me to see how great my friends are. They are my family now. I just had to see it and let myself feel the love they have for me. Look for the people in your life that care and deepen those relationships.

[Lovey]

Mxpro, I do. Thx for the input. I will write more in the morning. thx again.

[fishinghat]

Hugs

 

[frog]

Hey Lovey,

Rooting for you. Echoing what mxpro said, I have had and have a pretty darn good life. Really very little to complain about. But even for me this process constantly throws everything into question. Fishinghat has said that Cymbalta and withdrawal from it affects our amygdala and that's supposed to be part of our "reptilian brain" -- if you subscribe to that theory --  which is very primal and focused on survival mode only. That's really how it feels during withdrawal: fear, worry, fight or flight. I think this will get easier with time as all parts of the brain heal and become less easily triggered <3

[Lovey]

Wow, frog very interesting. I have a heightened flight or flight instinct as it is because of multiple trauma experiences. So now add this to that and its a wonder I can ever leave my house! This is crazy! Thx for the information. I am a tough woman and this has all made me dig deeper and be even stronger and more resilient and faithful. Xo

[frog]

You might also find this interesting: https://www.washingt...ges-your-brain/

 

There's research out there that people who do consistent mindfulness meditation have a a thicker, more active prefrontal cortex, which is a part of the brain that's more logical and rational, and that their amygdala which is more emotional and reactive actually shrinks in size. Of course it doesn't have the same effect on every single person, I'm sure for some it works really well and others not so much. But unlike any of these awful drugs there's no downside to trying it and no withdrawal (!) so might be worth giving it a go if you haven't already. 

 

I've been using the Headspace app. I like it overall as a place to start but I think I need a little more context and guidance to get more out of the practice, so I just ordered the book that Mxpro has been recommending. I think mindfulness will be useful to continue through the withdrawal process, but I also hope it's maybe something positive I can take away from this awful experience and bring into my regular daily life. 

[invalidusername]

Also having a VERY bad day myself. Found this posted by one of my favourite actors. We are never alone people...

 

https://www.instagra.../p/B8qzvizFOya/

[Mxpro32]

Wow, frog very interesting. I have a heightened flight or flight instinct as it is because of multiple trauma experiences. So now add this to that and its a wonder I can ever leave my house! This is crazy! Thx for the information. I am a tough woman and this has all made me dig deeper and be even stronger and more resilient and faithful. Xo

That's another evil of this process. It starts to effect your self image. I started seeing myself as weak, overly sensitive, lazy, etc. As I start to feel better and having compassion for myself going through something so tough and out of control, it makes me cry. I'm not weak or any of those things, and the moment that hits me and I cut myself slack, I lose it every time. It feels cathartic.

As far as mindfulness meditation, I think that can help with your trauma to. In processing my trauma with my counselor, it seems the process is to ground yourself in your own body and present moment as much as possible while your subconscious works on putting the trauma behind you instead of projecting it into your future. She also says people like us who know the lows can live a more meaningful and rich life than those who haven't. Keep your chin up.

[frog]

That's another evil of this process. It starts to effect your self image. I started seeing myself as weak, overly sensitive, lazy, etc. 

 

Oh this is so true! I've always been hard on myself but this has taken things to a whole other level for sure

[Lovey]

Friends in arms, thank you for the life giving words and compassion. Today was a lot better. I got a lot of extra sleep last night and a nap today too. The sun was out and I went to mass in themorning and received the Holy Eucharist which also gave me life. It is remarkable and miraculous I am still alive after all I've endured. I will be looking at the links you all posted in coming days. Mxpro whst book are you reading about mindfulness? The term mindfulness is lost on me. It is such a buzzword that its lost any tangible meaning to ne. Can you simply explain it, like you would to a 5 year old?

[Mxpro32]

https://www.amazon.c...mindfull&sr=8-3

[Lovey]

Ty

[Mxpro32]

Hi lovey.  How are you doing.  Did you get the book yet?

[Lovey]

Hi!! I have another book in queue first and it will be next. I am reading about forgiveness to try to help me!! The book I am reading is called As we Forgive Those by Charles Finck if you, or anyone else wants to read along. Thanks for thinking of me. I took a very small amount of xanax, .25 mg during the day and it seemed to help a ton. I am going to rely on this for a while. Life feels unmanageable without it. I need to start calm and accomplish daily tasks and work so a small dose of xanax....

[Lovey]

Of xanax is a small price to pay. It causes tinnitus for me but again worth it.