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My Living Nightmare


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#1 andie

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    I have been of of cymbalta now for 1.5 weeks, and am going nuts. I feel as though there is no end in sight, and need some advice as to how to get through all this.

Posted 19 June 2010 - 11:58 PM

Hi there. I think about two and a half months ago, I saw a psychiatrist because I felt like my 40mg of citalopram was not properly treating my depression, and I found I was getting increasingly angry and had less patience. I was getting irritable with my children and husband (even quickly for me). He ran me through some surveys as most are familiar with. I was diagnosed with severe depression and slight ADHD. I thought it sounded like a much better diagnosis than my previous ones of anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder, as I did not eel I really fit the bill for their symptoms. He suggested this drug that helps so many people get through teh "blues", and the wonder drug is....drumroll.....Cymbalta. He started me on 30mg for one week, then moved me to 60 mg. The first week I felt like I had been given a new life. I had tons more energy, felt happy, and actually had fun for the first time in a ling time. Shortly after increasing to 60mg, I started getting really depressed, and had thoughts of suicide (what would be the least painful? and quickest?). I cannot describe the next week following, but it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. After a few weeks, I talked to my doctor, and he thought I was in a manis stage, and that I was possibly bi-polar. Now, the funny thing here is, that I have told 10 doctore over the last 15 years that bi-polar disorder runs rampant in my family, and that most family members thought I had it. He suggested I wean myself off of Cymbalta - 30 mg that week, and nothing after- and start taking carbamazapine (epitol) for help with the bi-polar. I started down to 30mg, and I felt awesome again. The first day after no cymbalta was a living hell.

I had no idea what was to come. Since that day, I have been experiencing what I now know to be brain zaps, nausea, constant need (want)to eat but with no hunger, loss of basic memory functions, blurred vision, and many others. The worst part of it all is no one seems to think that these are real and true symptoms that I am feeling. My father, who quit cold-tukey, says I was not on it long enough to experience withdrawal side-effects. He, who is hooked on percaset for the headache, gained 50+ pounds in 2 months, and has started drinking very heavily, I believe, to numb the effects of it all. My doctor thought it may have just been from increasing my dosing of the new medication, and I am sure some of the nausea and dizziness is to blame for that, but this is ridiculous. I feel like I am losing control. I would love not to wake up in the morning, because it is just too much! I have a 3 and an 8 year old that need me, and I need some advice as to how to handle this all.

Thanks,
Andie

#2 MaureenV

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    Am trying to get off Cymbalta 30mg and wondering about brain zaps.

Posted 20 June 2010 - 05:30 AM

Hi there. I think about two and a half months ago, I saw a psychiatrist because I felt like my 40mg of citalopram was not properly treating my depression, and I found I was getting increasingly angry and had less patience. I was getting irritable with my children and husband (even quickly for me). He ran me through some surveys as most are familiar with. I was diagnosed with severe depression and slight ADHD. I thought it sounded like a much better diagnosis than my previous ones of anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder, as I did not eel I really fit the bill for their symptoms. He suggested this drug that helps so many people get through teh "blues", and the wonder drug is....drumroll.....Cymbalta. He started me on 30mg for one week, then moved me to 60 mg. The first week I felt like I had been given a new life. I had tons more energy, felt happy, and actually had fun for the first time in a ling time. Shortly after increasing to 60mg, I started getting really depressed, and had thoughts of suicide (what would be the least painful? and quickest?). I cannot describe the next week following, but it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. After a few weeks, I talked to my doctor, and he thought I was in a manis stage, and that I was possibly bi-polar. Now, the funny thing here is, that I have told 10 doctore over the last 15 years that bi-polar disorder runs rampant in my family, and that most family members thought I had it. He suggested I wean myself off of Cymbalta - 30 mg that week, and nothing after- and start taking carbamazapine (epitol) for help with the bi-polar. I started down to 30mg, and I felt awesome again. The first day after no cymbalta was a living hell.

I had no idea what was to come. Since that day, I have been experiencing what I now know to be brain zaps, nausea, constant need (want)to eat but with no hunger, loss of basic memory functions, blurred vision, and many others. The worst part of it all is no one seems to think that these are real and true symptoms that I am feeling. My father, who quit cold-tukey, says I was not on it long enough to experience withdrawal side-effects. He, who is hooked on percaset for the headache, gained 50+ pounds in 2 months, and has started drinking very heavily, I believe, to numb the effects of it all. My doctor thought it may have just been from increasing my dosing of the new medication, and I am sure some of the nausea and dizziness is to blame for that, but this is ridiculous. I feel like I am losing control. I would love not to wake up in the morning, because it is just too much! I have a 3 and an 8 year old that need me, and I need some advice as to how to handle this all.

Thanks,
Andie




Hi Andie,

so sorry to hear you're going through all of this.

Regarding doses of Cymbalta: the drug companies insist that the 'maintenance dose' of Cymbalta is 60mg. Rubbish. Any research shows that the usual dose of a drug is determined when the vast majority of people taking it get benefit. That means that (eg) some people get benefit at 20mg; more people fell well on 30mg; most people feel well on 60mg.

You seem to be one for whom 30mg is the correct dose. You fell well and had no other problems with it.

Regarding withdrawal: rubbish again. There have been some here who've been on 60mg for 10 days and suffered massively stopping suddenly. I was only on Cymbalta for less than two months, and it took me about three months to get off, weaning slowly.

I don't know anything about any of the other drugs and I know almost nothing about bi-polar, so can't comment otherwise, but I DO know that your withdrawal symptoms are common, but because many people can get off Cymbalta without difficulty, many doctors have not seen anyone like you.

Just be confident of your own experience. I know it's more difficult with psychological issues - it's so easy to be told your problems are in your head, but just know that many doctors DO understand this.

If I were you, I'd want to be back on 30mg of Cymbalta, if that's when you felt well. It will also get rid of any withdrawal symptoms.


regards, Maureen.

#3 cookie

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 12:52 AM

Dear Andie:
Depression?, ADHD?, Anxiety disorder?, Borderline personality disorder?, Bi-polar???? Modern medicine labels everything under a name for an illness. I am just tired of hearing diagnosis. Most of these mental disorder symptoms overlap and most of them are treated with medicines that act on neurotrasmitters.

I was labeled as "Severely Depressed", and according to my doctor I´ll have to take antidepressants forever. Names and illnesses, just give you an excuse not to do anything about it. For 5 years I sat waiting for a drug Cymbalta to do the job for me. Until I became active in my health and mental health and started looking for other ways to be healthy and improve my mood. I learned that nutrition, had so much to do with it. I eat lots of veggies and fruits, no processed food. I am exercising and doing yoga. I am feeling so much better. Cymbalta helped me in the worst moment of my life, but one cannot depend 100% on a pill. One has to complement medicines with changes in lifestyle and the way we think (talk therapy)

On the short run it is important that you don´t take a dose above 30mg since it gives you mania. In the long run, try to look for alternative therapies that will help and complement the medicines you are taking. In my case I am trying to replace traditional medicine with alternative therapies.

You can take cymbalta for a short time and still suffer withdrawals. It sounds like your symptoms are not caused by increasing the dosing of the new medication, but by cymbalta withdrawal.

From what I´ve read, the best way to quit cymbalta is by weaning slowly.

I think the most important thing is acknowledge how you feel, and find a therapy that treats your symptoms.

Hugs
Cookie

#4 Johnh

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 09:56 PM

I feel for you Andie,

Just don't anything as cowardly as suicide. I don't think you will. Your kids won't feel sorry for you they will grow to be pissed at you and not even go to your grave site. believe me I know!

Doctors aren't god, and some are just Pill pushers. It's rare to find a good Doctor that actually listens. From what I read you say you felt Fantastic on the 30MG dose of Cymbalta. Then when you uped it to 60 you felt like crap! So go back on the 30 and feel fantastic!! Tell your Doctor that is what you want and for him to further look into the bipolar problem in case the 30 MG do not work long term. As long as you are on them and they are working and the Bipolar isn't a problem!!......

Take control of your life and your Doctor!!

I hope you let us know how it works for you.

Take Care

And this is all just my opinion!




Hi there. I think about two and a half months ago, I saw a psychiatrist because I felt like my 40mg of citalopram was not properly treating my depression, and I found I was getting increasingly angry and had less patience. I was getting irritable with my children and husband (even quickly for me). He ran me through some surveys as most are familiar with. I was diagnosed with severe depression and slight ADHD. I thought it sounded like a much better diagnosis than my previous ones of anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder, as I did not eel I really fit the bill for their symptoms. He suggested this drug that helps so many people get through teh "blues", and the wonder drug is....drumroll.....Cymbalta. He started me on 30mg for one week, then moved me to 60 mg. The first week I felt like I had been given a new life. I had tons more energy, felt happy, and actually had fun for the first time in a ling time. Shortly after increasing to 60mg, I started getting really depressed, and had thoughts of suicide (what would be the least painful? and quickest?). I cannot describe the next week following, but it was unlike anything I have ever experienced. After a few weeks, I talked to my doctor, and he thought I was in a manis stage, and that I was possibly bi-polar. Now, the funny thing here is, that I have told 10 doctore over the last 15 years that bi-polar disorder runs rampant in my family, and that most family members thought I had it. He suggested I wean myself off of Cymbalta - 30 mg that week, and nothing after- and start taking carbamazapine (epitol) for help with the bi-polar. I started down to 30mg, and I felt awesome again. The first day after no cymbalta was a living hell.

I had no idea what was to come. Since that day, I have been experiencing what I now know to be brain zaps, nausea, constant need (want)to eat but with no hunger, loss of basic memory functions, blurred vision, and many others. The worst part of it all is no one seems to think that these are real and true symptoms that I am feeling. My father, who quit cold-tukey, says I was not on it long enough to experience withdrawal side-effects. He, who is hooked on percaset for the headache, gained 50+ pounds in 2 months, and has started drinking very heavily, I believe, to numb the effects of it all. My doctor thought it may have just been from increasing my dosing of the new medication, and I am sure some of the nausea and dizziness is to blame for that, but this is ridiculous. I feel like I am losing control. I would love not to wake up in the morning, because it is just too much! I have a 3 and an 8 year old that need me, and I need some advice as to how to handle this all.

Thanks,
Andie


#5 tryingtobeagoodmama

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 10:05 PM

Andie... my boyfriend and mother told me the same thing about suicide. My son will never understand why I did it and he would never forgive me for leaving him. He would grow up to hate me.

#6 carilee

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Posted 29 July 2010 - 10:15 PM

Even though im new on here I have to echo Cookies sentiments exactly. After being jumbled around with diagnoses of anxiety disorder, depression, mild bi-polar, etc I finally realized that I could walk into a doctors office ask for a million prescriptions or dosage changes and they'd probably wouldnt bat an eye. You are the only one who knows how to work with your body day in and day out.

Even before I started down my currently bumpy road of becoming prescription-free I started to find outlets for each of my hang-ups. The hardest part was being honest with family and ultimately my boss (who has was incredibly understanding accommodating of my little quirks that get me through the day).

I've learned that when the anxiety (sometimes over the littlest, most silly things) rises - i need to put on headphones for even just a few minutes, and use a Tranquility station on Pandora.com radio. I know not all jobs and situations make this easy - but if you can - do it.

To head off afternoon anxiety (which is when mine gets bad) I dedicate a fraction of my lunch hour to breathing exercises or yoga. If i can't get somewhere private - ill even step into the ladies room. I dont care what people think. Ive even been able to be open with some lady co-workers and when the weathers nice we step outside and get in a few poses together.

Sometimes getting away physically isnt an option, for these times i keep a journal. Ill start a quick entry with a 1-10 scale of my anxiety, depression, feelings-in-general. Ill write for 2 minutes. Basically the what, where, why and how of why this particular episode started and how i feel about it. Somewhere in that process my brain is able to sort out and rationalize the situation and i can end a journal entry on a significantly lower number on my little anxiety scale. Always an example in the mantra of "this too shall pass".

i know these are just little things - but combined with correct diet and a strong support system - they will help when you need to find your center again.



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