7 replies to this topic

[madrocs]

feeling like this!

I cant believe I did not look into this till now, but I am very glad I found this site!

my story(sorry,it may be long but want to get it all out there):

I have had a drinking problem for the last 7 years. I was in a very bad motorcycle accident in which I had plates and screws put in my knee, hip, forearm and collar bone, plus broke about 9 other bones. I recovered pretty good with the exception of alot of aches and pains, especially after working on my feet all day in factories(ironically now a drug company) which I am not suppose to do but bills dont wait. Not to mention how many other bones I have broken in my life. So I began self medicating with beer to numb the pain. I admit 10-12 beers on "bad"(alot of aches and pains) day is a sever problem, but it had never cause me to miss work, problems or anything.

Over the last year and a half I had a lot of life changing events ie; buying a house, changing jobs(less money but the "chance" to grow-thats a bs story in its own), and getting married. It has been very stressful due to the job, pain, finances, and having to sell off all of my motorcycles, atv's and toys that I worked so hard in the past for just to keep up with the house payment now. I am an adrenalyn junkie and those toys were what I used to deal with stresses. I get upset and need to release steam, I go out and tear some stuff up on the quads or go do some 2+ mile long wheelies down deserted streches of highways on my sportbike.

finaly the stresses got the best of me and I went on a drinking bing(end Jan 08). Liquior, not beer. Missed a day of work and binged then next day to only end up in the hospital for dehrdration. They asked if I had thoughts of suicide and I said I think everyone has thought about. Then they asked if I ever would and I said, kinda smart, if I wanted to I'd just drink some anti freeze instead of booze. Well they flipped. They gave me the choice of checking into a dual diaganostic center for depression and alcohol abuse or they were 302ing me in(which means its up to center when I can leave). I checked my self in and was there for 7 days. While there I seen the Phsyc like 3 times for a matter of 2 minutes each time and it was just so she could ask me 15 or so ?'s about my mood and prescribe a drug. Kinda shady if you ask me! this place makes you take more drugs than a junkie.

While in there the Phsyc put me on 30mg of Cymbalta once a day. She said it was suppose to help with my aching joints too. so I took it and was fine.
When I got out I had to schedule appointments with a physc for refills. The guy seemed nice, taked to me for 30 minutes or so. Asked how I was and I said great feel fine. Went back in 4 weeks b/c I needed a refill. I was feeling great, a month clean and no booze and over all calm, not getting upset, happy, just great. Then he upped my amount to 60mg. When I asked why he said 30 was only a "test" dose.

As soon as I started to take to the 60mg I felt weird! Panicicy, irrittable, couldnt sleepect. I told him and he said it was fine and to keep taking it and put me on Trazadone 50-100mg to sleep. I was starting to get the brain zaps everyone is talking about, only on my left side though. Painful! I was going from banging off of my revlimiter(super fired up) to getting completely knocked out on the Trazadone. Never related it to the meds, dont know why. I forgot to take it one night before work and I had a pretty crappy night(I work 3rd shift) and my head was killing me. There was still some beer out in my shop so I decided to have a few. Well a few turned into 12. I feel alspeep and woke up to my head killing me, I mean like my brain felt like it was being phyiscaly ripped out. I thought it was just a hangover b/c I havent drank. I had a 2-3 beers to see if it would make it stop, always did in the past. No I just got very depressed and upset. Called out of work. Drank more. Did not take any meds again

Next day got up just as bad as the first. Was confused didnt know what to do. the brain zaps were killing me. the depression was getting worse. thoughts of suicide. I thought I was lossing my mind. I went and got a 30 pack and took a trazadone to sleep(50 mg) and was going to only have a beer or two with it to really knock me out so my head did not hurt anymore and the thoughts would stop.

the trazadone makes me very thristy and I pounded like 6 beers and feel asleep. I woke in 2 hours in a state I can not even describe but I will try. I was freaking out, saying to myself "god make the pain stop" grabbing my head. racing thoughts of suicide and panic. I grabbed a beer and chugged it, didnt know what else to do. thought it would calm me down. then another, then another.

I really dont remember what happened from here out, just flashes after it was all over and I was told what happened. Apparently I wrote a suicide note on my myspace page saying all kinds of things about being one with the land and animals and that I was going to go release my soul where I shot this big buck that I hunted for 4 years . Mean while drinking alot of beer

Guess I passed out right after that, then waking to the state police and my neighbor standing in my living room. a few people from my myspace page called the cops. I was starting to get viloent with them. My neighbor calmed me down and they went on their way. I blew a .25 while they were here. I got another beer and drank it and then passed out. one of my friends called my wife at work and she came flying home, woke me up flipping out(rightfully so but I was not myself and in a insane state)

I said I was going to kill myself and headed down stairs for the guns. She ran and got my neighbor, the found me down stairs slamming beers. They talked to me and I passed out. They carried me to the car and drove me to the clinic I was in before. I flipped out in there, would not sign myself in, tried kicking out the door and windows, almost succeeded and they were the unbreakable kind. I was like an insane Hulk they said. The clinic called the cops, 4 came and were going to tazor me. they finaly calmed me down and cuffed me. I blew a .31. To high to be put into the clinic. then there was a huge drama about the county I lived in and the county the clinic was in. neither county wanted me. the one cop wanted to send me to the state hospital(that would have been very bad). but they ended up just putting me in jail for the night to sober up.

the next day i woke up I felt fine, no more thoughts but still brain zaps. The cops were cool and bought me some McD's for breakfast. Discharged me and my wife wanted me to go back to the clinic. I seen a physc for a eval and he said it was the cymbalta THEY put me on and to not take it at all! I could have checked myself in to detox if I wanted but it wasnt a necessatity. I wasnt going back in there so I came home and called my physc. He seen me and told me I need intensive outpaient therapy and to keep taking the cymbalta and trazadone.

I didnt sign up for the IOP, got back on the meds and the zaps are almost gone, I just get aching numbness sometimes now, but I am jittery as a butterfly feel like I can lift 2 tons and shaky. I feel not myself but like some crazy paraniod person. I have not drank since and no urge.

I just dont know what to do now

I realize I should have never had any beer to begin with b/c that just escalted the probelm. But this morning sitting here still feeling weirded out by this drug I started searching on the net about it and came acrossed this forum and now see what I was feeling is common with this drug. and that I was not going insane, but having withdrawls in which I worsened by drinking

I want off of it now but dont know how I should do it. I am not going to stop taking it b/c I am scared but I think my physc is a quak now. I know I definatly need to see one for my problems but I think he is not a good one.

any suggestions please

thank anyone who takes the time to read all of this and respond

[Sarah J]

Since antidepressants take up to 6-8 weeks to reach "maximum benefits" why are doctors rasing dosages when they don't even really know how you are doing on the original one? Or in your case, when you said you were feeling fine and not drinking?

From your story, you obviously did not do well tolerating the increase in dosage and you know first hand how you personally react to a missed dose and how you react to adding alcohol to the mix.

It is a smart decision to not just stop taking the Cymbalta at this time, maybe by writing out a great letter like you did here and giving it to your curent doctor they will be able to listen to you that way. Make sure they have the letter before you go back in so they can take the time to think about what you have said before hand. Giving your current or possible new doctors a well written timeline of your story can only help them get you to a point where you feel healthier again.

If you have a regular general doctor, have you gone over any of this with them? Some doctor that you have a history with that you did trust and felt like you could talk to? Perhaps one of your surgeons? You did a great job in explaining your story - ask for their opinion on another doctor to help you.

Best of luck to you on your road.

[schmb01]

People in your situation are exactly why we need better educated doctors and websites like this to let you know you are not losing it! I can't even imagine how scared you must have been feeling during this experience. I KNEW what to expect and was still just freaked out at the beginning!

First, I would find a psych that you feel comfortable with, and tell them this same story. If you want to be off of Cymbalta, there are safer, more comfortable ways to do it. I hope when you posted that you also took some time to read other's posts, as they will tell you many different ideas on what worked or is working for others.

The key is to do this slowly. Cold turkey, or taking a pill every other day doesn't work, and will make you feel exactly as you described in your story. Not good.

Remember, when you feel those things, that it is the drug talking, and not you. I have had to repeat that to myself over and over on a few occasions. I take an Omega 3 supplement, which I think is helping. Others are still weaning and using low doses of Celexa, Lexapro or Prozac, and it is working for them. You will need to find a doctor that is willing to work WITH you to get you through this. Also, if you find that you need an antidepressant, there are others that are much safer to your system than Cymbalta. Don't let this bad experience convince you that all antis are bad, because depression is an illness like heart disease that requires treatment. You just need one that isn't doing to your brain what Cymbalta is doing.

I wouldn't be hasty, have your wife help you find a good doctor to help you, and do this the right way. You can get your life back, it just takes a bit of time, but it doesn't mean you have to suffer while doing it.

Good Luck, and please read some posts, ask as many questions as you want to, or just vent about how you are feeling. We are all in this together, and are here to help.

Babby

[jeff3298]

Madroc
I am glad you found this website/ I read all of your post and it is NOT YOU, it is this Cymbalta. You are NOT the only one feeling these effects. This drug is beyond anyone imagination in regards to the side effects and withdrawal effects.

Now that you have found this site and know you are not alone, take some time and read this forum and the others on the web. Do some research and talk to a doctor. I have found that private doctors are drug fillers for the pharm companies, I went to county and the doctors there are 100% different. They cannot even talk to a pharmaceutical company rep. You may want to write out like you did on your post, express your feelings and concerns and then try and find a doctor who believes in you and wants to help you.

There are a lot of suggestions on this forum, read them and do what you think is best for YOU.
Check in here often, write often and tell us what you are thinking or doing. DO NOT DRINK, not even one beer.

You are not alone, you are not insane, we are here and we have been or are going through the same things. There is hope, we will make it through this. I will be praying for you daily, that peace comes to you and clarity also, so you can make the right choices.

Keep coming back here and posting, nothing is stupid here, no thought is stupid and no thought is too crazy or dumb.

Blessings,
Jeff

[madrocs]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

I spent alot of time reading this morning before I posted. it was such a relief to know that I have not flipped my lid and am not alone. I was scared to say the least!

I questioned the phsyc about why he upped it and his response was that 30 was a "trail" dose. I agree if I was that happy, not drinking and completely functionung in life like I was, there should have been no changes made!

I have only been back on the 60 for a week now since that, wonder if thats 2 long to stop taking it? I am scared too though. I NEVER acted like that in my life! Yes I have been in fights, done drunk stupid stuff, BUT never blacked out and went INSANE. What would I have done if I hurt someone then? they said I was literally an animal. I am not a small guy and even given my injuries very powerful to begin with.

when I take the 60 now, I feel like I am getting high/drunk. the tops of my legs tingle at first then my face gets tingly, then I get pumped up and wired. If things slow down(this all happens at work, bc I take it before I go in at 11pm) I will hit a down spot or get depressed. Then I will tense and start to sing out loud or do domething fun to make everyone laugh and get myself back into a good mood.

by the time I come home at 8am , I am beat pass out for a few hours with my dogs and then wake uo and feel like MYSELF again. Do my errands, play with the dogs, and so one. take a nap before work get up take my CYmbalta and blood pressure meds and I literally get "high" all over again. I actually did not want to stop taking it because it was like getting high or the adrenalyn rushes I live for!

I am going to go to my family doc and see what he says. the phsyc kinda got pissy when I told him this story and I was not on the Cymbalta when I freaked out and his instant reply was alcohol addiction and I agrueed I never acted like that before and have been feeling weird on the new dosage and other drug. He basicaly didnt want to talk to me after that

[Sarah J]

30 mg is a legitimate dose, most of my time on Cymbalta was 30 mg.

Feeling like you are high or drunk on an anti-depressant isn't what is supposed to happen. Glad you will talk to your family doctor - hopefully he can help you, please see him as soon as possible and let us know how you are doing.

PLEASE DO NOT EVEN TRY TO STOP TAKING 60 MG COLD TURKEY!!!

[schmb01]

Lots of good suggestions for you madroc. Your best ally is a doctor who will listen to you. Shoot, give them the link to this site and let them read how many of us "don't have withdrawals"!! Now, alcohol can muddy the waters some too, and it isn't safe to drink while taking Cymbalta, so please, as hard as it might be, try not to drink anything.

Keep hanging in there, and keep coming back, we'll be here for you.

Babby

[MrNice]

I myself started Cymbalta for nerve pain relating to spine injury and surgery. My feet feel like someone hit them with a bat. Dont drink beer. Worst poison ever. I know this personally because my dad drank heavy for 12 years, then he died. Death certificate said he died for alcohol abuse. I wish it said heart attack or car accident. Its hard to get over someone drinking themselves and everyone around them to death. Alcoholics live 10-15 good years then slowly die. I've withdrawn from a few drugs in my life, but this on really sucks. Psychiatrists are professional scam artists that deal legal drugs. Ask a shrink if they EVER cured anyone and they will look at you like an enemy! They know that their profession "listens" to your problems and gives you drugs to think everything is OK, when it actually is falling all around you, but your to doped up to realize or care. Hope you lay off the beer.