Weaning Diary
#1
Posted 13 January 2012 - 07:31 AM
Background: It's a long, complicated story, but basically I've been on 60mg of Cymbalta for nearly 4 years now. I've decided it's time to come off them, and because I'm extremely bad at recognising patterns in my own behaviour and physical health, I need to keep track of it somehow. I'd be glad to answer anyone's questions if you have any, otherwise this will just be a journal.
Jan 13 (day 4): I went to the doctor on Tuesday to talk about coming off Cymbalta. She strongly suggested I should see a counsellor before attempting to wean myself off the drugs, but partly because I'm stubborn, and mostly because I'm very poor, I decided not to. She also suggested that I alternate between taking 60 mg and 30 mg every other day, but after consulting the wise and powerful internet, I decided to ignore that advice too.
Instead I'm emptying approximately 25% of each capsule so I'm taking about 45mg a day. I'm planning to buy extra capsules so as not to waste the excess, and I'm hoping to find a better way of measuring the amount I'm taking. I've read up on the withdrawal symptoms, and I know from accidentally going 2-3 days cold turkey that I really have to take it slow, so I plan on taking 45mg for at least a month before dropping down to 30mg.
Physical withdrawal symptoms: So far I haven't experienced anything too bad. I've also cut back on my drinking, so any withdrawal symptoms could be from that - I know, not very scientific. My physical maladies over the last few days have included headaches, mild stomach ache including slight nausea, and now a sore throat (probably unrelated). I've also been more tired than normal, and lights and colours seem more intense than normal.
Mental withdrawal symptoms: My mood has been slightly better than normal over the last few days. When I've forgotten to take the pills for even a day I've become a lot more emotional (teary at ads, music etc), and noticeably more depressed, not so this time. It may be psychosomatic - the hope of feeling better leading to feeling better, but maybe not :-)
I'll be updating this every few days, or if I've had a significantly good or bad day. I hope it will help other people as well as myself.
#2
Posted 28 January 2012 - 01:59 AM
Had the worst side effect last night, I was lying in bed, thinking I was a bit cold, when I start shaking uncontrollably. I wasn't that cold - it was maybe 20 degrees ©, but I felt colder than I've ever been in my life. I was shuddering so hard I could barely move, my teeth were chattering, my muscles were contracting, my hands were going numb. I thought I might die if I didn't get blankets, but getting out of bed was very hard, like willingly jumping into a frozen lake, and also physically difficult, like I weighed twice as much as normal. I staggered to the linen cupboard, almost doubled over, grabbed all the blankets I could and went back to bed. I knew I wasn't physically cold, so I tried to relax, and finally started to warm up, then went to sleep. I woke up later absolutely soaked in sweat (I had 6 or 8 blankets on me), and after that I couldn't sleep much, had lots of bad dreams and broken sleep. Today I'm physically sore, I feel like I've got the flu, vague nausea, dizziness, wooziness etc.
#3
Posted 12 February 2012 - 09:21 AM
I went down to 30 mg last night. Still no major side effects besides the shivering/panic attack. So far the only advice I can give you is to go slow. I know the urge is to get it over with quickly, but it's so much better to take your time and avoid the physical and mental issues that come with going too fast.
#5
Posted 20 February 2012 - 05:24 AM
Still no physical side effects, and guess what? I'm *happy*. I have been for several days, and I haven't been this content/happy in at least a decade, maybe ever. If this is what *not* being depressed is like, it's awesome. Note: I'm not consistently and unrealistically happy, just normal happy ... just normal.
I'm basically making this entry to tell future me that if things go to hell in a hand-basket when I drop down to 15 mg -------- 30 mg is perfect!
Although I'm really (really, really) hoping that as I continue to wean, I'll continue to be happy, or at least content, and not have to rely on the drugs at all. Will continue to update until I'm off them completely, and probably a week or two past that.
Not sure if anyone is actually reading this, but what the hell, I'm just using a few million 1s and 0s and entertaining myself in the process. If anyone *is* reading this, I hope it'll give you what I was looking for when I was first considering weaning myself: an actual idea of what the day to day issues of withdrawal will be like. Fortunately (for me) and unfortunately (for the dramatic realism I was kinda hoping to achieve and for you if you happen to have much more of a physical dependency than I do) I have had practically no physical side effects, besides the shivering which could have been a panic attack.
I can't testify that taking it slow will help you avoid the physical side effects. I actually think I am fortunate enough to avoid physical dependency on anything (emotional/psychological obsession is another issue entirely). I have, through a frigging terrible childhood/adolescence, spent enough time drinking and smoking to have formed a physical addiction to both, but even after practically marinating my liver, I can still go cold turkey on the booze for weeks without any noticeable physical side effects, and even though I smoked fairly regularly in school, I never felt the physical urge to smoke, and never missed it when I didn't have the money to buy a pack. I also live on pepsi max (caffeine), but I don't feel any different when I don't have it for a few days, I've never *had* to have it like some people have to have their coffee.
Anyway, anyone who's managed to get this far, I will update whenever I have anything relatively interesting to say (I'm smiling now!)
- chiquita likes this
#6
Posted 22 February 2012 - 05:15 PM
I just wanted to let you know I just found your posts today! Actually , I became a member today! Thank you for taking the time to write this diary. It has helped me with the dicission to start the withdrawl process asap!!!! I am actually on day three cold turkey!! I am trying to get a refill as soon possible!! I will be watching your posts closely!!!!
Thank you,
Rachel3313
#7
Posted 23 February 2012 - 05:18 AM
I was going to taper off the meds with the help of my doctor, but as many psychiatrists do he has gone on holiday and cannot write me a script, or even see me for over a month. So not only am I broke, but I can't actually get the meds. So I'm going cold turkey and it sucks.
I'm on day 3 now, and so far it's mostly brain shocks, fever/chills, severe dizziness and mild nausea. There's no depression, I'm just a little emotionally sensitive, more irritable than usual but not too bad.
The physical effects are tremendously difficult to cope with, considering that I work in IT full day, and am struggling to concentrate with brain shocks rolling in every few seconds.
I'm posting because I would like to be able to tell someone what I'm going through, that understands, as my family will worry badly if I tell them what's going on. I think I'll be okay, that I just need to get through the next few weeks, but I'm glad I found this site, and that I'm not the only person going through this.
I've been diagnosed with BPD, and one of the doctors I have seen mentioned that my recurring symptoms could mean that anti-depressants don't work for me, which considering that over a period of five years I've been tried on six or seven different kinds, would make a lot of sense. That's why I'm trying this.
Anyway, I know I'm rambling, but any advice on how to deal with these side effects, or an estimate of how long I'll be experiencing the discomfort would be awesome. Thanks!
#8
Posted 14 March 2012 - 09:27 AM
I hope I'm helping you, I just wish I could tell you that everything is going to be okay. Unfortunately the last week or so has been hard on me, I've gone down to 15mg, and I've just moved house all by myself, so I've been under a lot of stress, physically, emotionally and financially.
I work with animals, so I'm usually a very patient person, but the last week or so I've noticed a huge increase in my frustration levels. Everything's been getting to me, I've been irritated by the smallest little annoyances. I think you'll understand that when you're in this state of mind you can't objectively tell whether you're reacting normally or not.
I've also noticed that I may be pulling away from people. I've always been a very solitary, private person, but I've really outdone myself lately; I now live and work alone, I have no friends and only one family member with whom I'm in regular contact. I'm about one animal away from being the crazy cat lady.
I've been very up and down the last week or so; going from 30 to 15 mg at the same time as I was moving which was very stressful, and I skipped two doses, and I've been roughly measuring the doses so I'm not exactly on 15 mg.
All I can really say at the moment is that I still haven't had many physical side-effects, but my mental state isn't the greatest. Definitely not happy like I was at 30mg. Going to keep going though, keep at 15 until I'm steady enough to half it again. Will keep you updated.
#9
Posted 01 April 2012 - 03:01 AM
I tried, I really did, but the last few weeks at less than 10mg have been torturous.
I've been seriously considering suicide. My work has been suffering, I've been having panic attacks and crying every day.
These aren't withdrawal symptoms, just my depression letting me know that I haven't been miraculously cured. When I was on the full dose (60mg) I wasn't happy, and I did a bit of research which led me to believe that if I came off the meds I could/would be. But I guess there's a difference between not being happy and not being functional.
I wish I could have ended this diary better, I just hope I may have answered someone's questions.
#10
Posted 01 April 2012 - 02:11 PM
IMO we are being more scientific than my psychiatrist, who had never heard of brain zaps. He only knew about the 'flu like symptoms' that are part of the propaganda inserts. Light bothered me just as it did when I used to have migrane headaches. I had all the symptoms of a migrane except the headache! Thank God for being spared from a headache.
I had my last full capsule on March 17. Since then I've had a few granules when the zaps and GI problems became unbearable. My psychiatrist (who was fired yesterday) said that taking a few granules would not have any effect but he was WRONG.
Like you, I suspect that the placebo effect and psychosomatic principles are playing a major role.
During the last week I've been thinking that Cymbalta is an excellent mind control drug and wondering if E.L. isn't perfecting such a substance, using unthinking, unquestioning psychatrists and patients as perps and guinea pigs. Can't prove it but it does make me wonder...
I only drink a small glass of wine occasionally. On March 19 I became so sick with nausea that I thougt 4 ounces might help. WRONG! It made me feel so much WORSE! Is Cymbalta kin to Antabuse? It's hard to win against this poison that I chose to ingest but, God willing, I WILL win and I will warn everyone who will listen about the dangers of Cymbalta and the ignorance of those in the psychiatric establishment concerning it.
#11
Posted 09 April 2012 - 07:47 AM
Bad news, I'm giving up giving up.
I tried, I really did, but the last few weeks at less than 10mg have been torturous.
I've been seriously considering suicide. My work has been suffering, I've been having panic attacks and crying every day.
These aren't withdrawal symptoms, just my depression letting me know that I haven't been miraculously cured. When I was on the full dose (60mg) I wasn't happy, and I did a bit of research which led me to believe that if I came off the meds I could/would be. But I guess there's a difference between not being happy and not being functional.
I wish I could have ended this diary better, I just hope I may have answered someone's questions.
HI
Pls don't give up on yourself . Can you dr switch your meds for depression for you. I have read some people switch to prozac and get great relief from the withdrawl symptoms. If you require meds for depression maybe that's something you can try. I was put on this medication for pain and found it made me depressed and withdrawn. It's a strange drug for sure. Pls take care of yourself and be good to yourself and know people care about you.
#12
Posted 16 April 2012 - 05:16 AM
I'm feeling a bit better now. Even after going back to 30mg I was in a pretty bad place for a while. Just starting to feel more alive right now, hoping it'll keep getting better.
I was on prozac (or fluoxitine, which I'm given to understand is the same) for a while, I didn't feel any better. Admittedly it was literally the worst time of my life, I'm constantly amazed I survived at all (I was basically disowned and kicked out while finishing a four year degree in a really bad town).
#13
Posted 27 May 2012 - 08:10 AM
#15
Posted 20 July 2012 - 10:27 PM
#16
Posted 30 July 2012 - 10:51 AM
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