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[meegeezee]

I am bi-polar. Last night and the night before (and the night before that!)I tossed and turned, hot and cold, my heart palpitating....Instead of enjoying my birthday today, I am laying in bed wanting to, needing to vomit. The brain zaps are near constant, and I spent a half-hour bitterly weeping and wanting to be "not alive".

Now I had been aware of the likelihood of side effects from quitting any physiology altering pharmaceutical, but until I read the entirety of this forum today I had no idea whatsoever that what I have been experiencing is the norm for stopping Cymbalta. "What fresh hell is this?" (to quote Dorothy Parker). I assumed it was all me; all my own imagined symptoms, all my own body's overblown quirks, all my own fault...

It was the same when I tried to quit in November 2011. I lasted perhaps a few weeks but then was quickly back on it with the addition of other noxious doctor ordered meds when I spiraled out of control from the mental anguish and physical pain. In the interim I had cut a 'design' into my leg with a craft knife and burned myself in 2 spots with red-hot metal pastry bag tip. I also cut off my below shoulder length hair and got a tattoo on my wrist.

I am 57 years old today, not a moody teenager! I am a grandmother who cares part time for my 2 beloved grandchildren, I sing in an oldies band, and have a loving and supportive husband and family who are beginning to be afraid of me. Thanks Cymbalta!

Now that I know I'm not alone, I'm not imaging these horrible feelings, and I'm not as crazy as people think - what do I do? Cymbalta DID NOT manage my bi-polar symptoms well; in fact, I got worse. Being sleepy all the time, tongue-tied and generally not caring about my outward appearance did not facilitate a social life. I had never before been as low emotionally as I'd been this past winter nor actually rationalized that it would be in people's best interest if I did kill myself.

My doctor is so not on-board with me stopping Cymbalta. She thinks it's the cat's meow. But I have tried so many other drugs during the past decade; they always seem to either lose their effectiveness after awhile, or are a bad fit in the first place.