23 replies to this topic

[LowMo]

Hello. My name is Molly, and I am going to give you a brief version of my nightmare.
Let me start by saying that I am typing this while bawling my eyes out for the past two hours and in extreme pain all over my body. Meanwhile my mother who has driven three hours to be with me is crying and drinking wine because I screamed at her for know apparent reason.

I am 30 years old and have been struggling from severe depression since I was around 19. I unsucessfully tried many anti-depressents until finally about a year and a half ago, "Cymbalta the Wonder Drug" hit the market. My doctor promised not only relief, but that I would be back to myself again (whatever that may have been).

My whole life I have lived for others. I left med-school because I wanted to be a teacher; to make a difference in the world.

Right now I am wondering when the hell my world will finally end.

I started weening off the maximum dose of 120 mil. of Cymbalta on January 9th. Every five days my doctor had me take 30mg less than what I was on, which means that January 25th, 2008 was my first day on nothing.

While I was on the cymbalta I felt little relief for my depression. I gained weight, became moody, became suicidal, lost my friends,lost my sex-drive, moss my motivation and drive for just about everything important in life, became anxious, became easily agitated, became forgetful, and nearly lost my job. After a year of this "relief" I told my doctor that not only was the cymbalta not working, but it was making me feel worse. He told me of a new wonder drug that is actually a patch, and that there would be no side effects. He also said that if I came off of the cymbalta the way he recommended that I would be ok.

WELL LET ME TELL YOU FELLOW SUFFERERS. I AM NOT OK. I am on my ninth day of withdrawal symptoms and the only three reasons that I have not killed myself are
1. my mother in the other room who suffered with depression in a time where there were no alternatives
2. Amy and Paula- even though they are convinced that I have gone nuts, they have remained the only friends I have left in this world
3. This, and similar web sites. On Saturday (my second day on nothing) I was in so much physical pain from my head down to my guts that I thought I was going to die! For some reason I got the idea to goole cymbalta withdrawals and have never felt so hopeful and hopeless at the same time. I am not alone! But o crap- these things are going to last awhile.

Today, and throughout the week, I have had fevers up and down, diareaha, dry mouth, horrible intestinal ppain, black outs, and blank outs (having a conversation and forgetting words, or even where I was,), Brain shocks, horrible headaches, nausea, ringing of ears and head, blurred vision, moodiness, to the point where I felt myself wanting to be violent(which I have to say is somewhat ironic considering that I am very active in many human rights campaigns, and am one of those people that avoid stepping on ants), I was in two car accidents, and my whol hand-eye coordination is just shot all to hell.

This Monday, I am to start taking EmSam- which I have been trying to research as best as I can. Has anyone heard of this?

I hate who I have become. I hate to think that this stupid pill may have caused me permanent damage to my body or brain. I hate that I cannot control my emotions and that I have lost most people that have been close to me because they just don't get it.

So hear I am typing to you guys- looking for hope, looking for something, and crying out of control because Michigan State just lost to Penn State.

Please- will this really go away?

[wandap]

Believe it or not, we all understand exactly what you are saying. Tonight my daddy came over with an ingrown toenail he wanted me to fix. Keep in mind, even though I am 47, divorced with 3 kids at home, I am the youngest in my family and the only girl so I am a daddy's baby from the word go. Well, I could not do it. It started bleeding and I just lost it. But of course, I couldn't cry in front of daddy or he would be more worried than he already is. So, I text (I have laringitus, for 6 days now) my best friend who has hung in with me all this time and she came running. She fixed his toe and is now cleaning my house. I have no idea how I would have gotten thru tonight without her. I have NEVER lost it. I am the strong one. But tonight, I just couldn't do it. I thought I was getting a lot better here on day 8 but guess not. Molly, please don't think you are the only one sitting in front of your puter crying your eyes out. We've all done it coming off of this horrible drug. Since your mama has been thru depression herself, she will not hold it against you that you snapped at her. Besides, us mama's don't hold anything against our babies for very long! We will all get thru this. Some of us quicker than others. Who I feel sorry for are the hundreds or thousands of people coming off Cymbalta who have not thought of ask.com or google and found this site.

[Susan]

Molly~ OMG! As I read your post, I could easy say, I wrote it. I too, hate who I have become. I wish that I could tell you how long this will last, but I personally can't say. It seems on average, for others that have posted, that after about three months, yes I KNOW..ugh.. the withdrawals will subside. Today is day 29, for me, and I am still miserable. I, too, was on the rare, but high dose of 120mgs. One thing that surprised me, about your tapering, was the pace. My psych. doctor didn't even want me to go off of Cymbalta, due to the fact, I was too "depressed". I finally got her to agree. I went from 120 to 90mgs and was told to stay at that level until my next appointment. I was outraged. I stayed at 90mgs, for about one month, and went to my next appointment to "discuss" reducing. My psych doc finally agreed, reluctantly, that in another month, I could go down to 60mgs. I set up an appointment, in tears, for January 7th, 2008. I couldn't justify continuing to ingest this poison called Cymbalta any longer. So against my psych doctor and therapist advice, I weaned from 90 to 0mgs in less than four weeks, and cancelled my January 7th appointment. I thought my way was fast. I was surprised to see you went from 120 to 0mgs in the same amount of time. WOW! I can truly imagine the pain, both emotional and physical, that you are in right now. Today and last night I spent most of my time crying. If you check out http://www.whatwinne... ... -symptoms/ and look for Susan, you will see my comments about the Hell I was/am in. I am right there with you Molly. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time of it, but I really can say, unfortunately, I know how you feel. Keep posting Molly. I believe it has saved me, several times.
Never heard of EmSam, what is that about?
I will look forward to your post.
Susan

[LowMo]

Susan-

Thank you for your encouraging words. I am a complete mess, yet somehow I was barely able to make it through school today. It seems like from about 2:00-5:00 is the worst time for me. I feel nauseous, hopeless, on the verge of tears, and honestly I just want to die. Right now a student is making up a test in my room and all that is in me is holding me back from crawling up into a ball on the floor and crying.

After reading through the posts online I thought it was weird that my doctor had me go off of this so quickly, but on the other hand I find him to be very incompetent in many ways.

EmSam is a new form of treatment that has been on the market for a short time. (If I had a dollar for every time I had been a guinea pig) . But basically it is an MAOI patch, that is supposed to eliminate side effects, and has been quite successful. I started on it today.

To be honest I am not very hopeful. My brain, my body and my life are all such a mess right now. I just want the pain to go away.

[Susan]

Molly~ Thanks for the information on EmSam. Does the patch have the same restrictions that the MAOI drugs do? Have you been on a MAOI before? I hope that this patch will be the answer for you, but I understand the lack of hope. I was on a MAOI called Nardil. It was awful. I hated it. I was on Nardil before I went on Cymbalta. The doctor I had put me on Nardil, because no other anti-depressant drugs were working for me. I had so many problems, the worse being migraines. It lead me to see a neurologist, and he contacted my psych doctor, and told him he wanted me to stop taking Nardil right away. So I stopped. Thankfully, I didn't have as hard of a time discontinuing that medicine, as I am with the withdrawals of Cymbalta. Three weeks later I was put on Cymbalta. If I had only known then what I do today, about Cymbalta.
I am sorry you are having such an awful time right now. I know where you are coming from though. I do wish I could be more helpful to you, and to myself actually. Just know that I have been checking periodically to see if you have posted and how you are doing. I am right there with you, if only in thought.

[Hopeless Feeling]

:shock: I am reading all of this and am in complete disbelief that I am not the only one! I have only been on Cymbalta for two weeks and noticed that I was worsening. All I wanted to do was sleep and I like I couldn't get out of my own way. I thought this was going to be a wonder drug as well. I have tried so many anti-depressants and have gone through similar withdrawals with Paxil, but after only ONE day of not being on this drug, I am as bad as I was after being on Paxil for 7 years. Everything hurts, my heart is literally in my throat, I want to drink to cover up the pain but don't want to pay for it tomorrow. I feel alone, selfish and crazy. My Doctor wants me to go on Abilify (mainly used for manic depression) and after reading the side effects of that drug, I am petrified! Has anyone found anything that works for depression with anxiety where you can function by somewhat normal standards? I am tired of hiding in my house, feeling pitiful, helpless and lonely. I NEED to function for my children. I am newly divorced, went through bankruptcy, had to move out of my own house because my husband could afford it and not me; if that's not bad enough, I am dealing with this. HOW long does it take? I can't believe how uncomfortable I am. I don't dare go anywhere because of these shocking feelings and crying spells. I started having acne 4 days into it. Should this stuff even be marketed?

[Susan]

Should this stuff even be marketed?

Hell No, it should be banned! It is a bloody nightmare being on Cymbalta and even worse when you stop taking it. Ugh!!! Sorry Rage moment..

[LowMo]

Hopeless Feeling-

I wish I could offer you more hope than this. You are not alone. We are here together. We are strangers and yet, I can truly say I do feel your pain.

I am on day 12 right now of no Cymbalta. Some days are better than others. I have been forced to work through some horrible pains, both physically and mentally, day after day, only to break down around 3:00 each day while on my way home from work.

Each morning I take one non-drowsy dramamine, a multi-vitamin, .5 mg of adavan, an omega 3, two adderol (for add- but does keep my mind focused on other stuff for about 6 hours) and I believe that this has helped a little with the nausea and headaches.

My appetite is still small, but I am keeping more food in than last week.

I still find myself irrationally angry and people and situations, but every once in a while I see a glimmer of hope. I actually laughed last night for a minute (of course that was followed by an hour of crying after hearing that Bob Knight resigned.)

If there is anything I can do hopeless- let me know. I may not be hopeful. . . yet. . . but I am holding on, and I do feel your pain.

And yes- it should be taken off of the market, for numerous reasons, but especially for the horrible withdrawal symptoms.

[scared to come off]

Hi all,

Man, I haven't posted on a discussion board in ages. I'm in the midst of some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms, day 2, and did a google search and found this website. The withdrawal symptoms were so bad that I had to leave work early. It's now 6:30 pmEST and around 4pm today I felt like I couldn't take the symptoms anymore (intense dizziness, splitting headache, diarrhea) and took another capsule. I'm on 20mg, the lowest, I think, dose. I still don't feel any better, but lying down seems to help a touch. I'm really scared to come off this drug because of these symptoms. I've been on Cymbalta for 3 years and feel pretty good in my life right now. But, like many others of you, I have a ton of responsibilities and need to be able to function as optimally as possible. I.e. I can't not miss work or fall behind in school because of this. So, I'm scared to try coming off again-- even though I don't want to be on this drug any longer.

Part of me feels like it's almost easier to just stay on it than go through the withdrawal. Is there any hope for getting off? Prior to being on Cymbalta, I was on Effexor, another SSNRI, and I just started taking Cymbalta as I was tapering off Effexor-- basically I've been on this same class of drug for 7 years. I once tried to come off Effexor on my own and had even worse symptoms than I'm having. Again, I felt like I couldn't handle the symptoms and took another capsule to make them go away.

Is there anybody else out there in this situation? Or is there anyone who has some hope to share about managing to come off and not being absolutely miserable? I can take feeling bad for 2-3 days, but I can't let anything interfere with my work or my classes right now--- so I'm afraid...

Is it true that the withdrawal symptoms last for months? Any advice/thoughts are SO appreciated!

[Susan]

Molly~How have you been? Coping? Just barely surviving? I do hope you are better than I have been recently. It has been five weeks today at 0mgs of Cymbalta. I still feel so miserable. Body aches, itching, rage, severe depression, and intense anxiety. To name a few of the most problematic for me still.

[LowMo]

Susan-

I am sorry to hear that. I am not doing well either, although the headaches are not as bad as they were. It is mainly horrible abdominal cramping, and flu-like symptoms on and off throughout the day. Right now I honestly can't imagine feeling well again.

I think the patch is helping my depressive portion. I still cry, but not as often. I feel like at times I have the drive to do stuff, but physically cannot.

This is day 14 for me.

[Miguelito]

Molly and anyone else This is what I am doing and I feel better.
I have been withdrawing for about 2 1/2 months and I quit cold turkey after about a year of use 90 mgs per day. I had depression related to chronic pain, but it also runs in my family. I have tried everything for withdrawl from THC to beneydryl. While those were the 2 things that worked best for me, I also found that keeping my mind occupied was a really big help. I read these posts for about a month, I wanted to write, but the emotions, wd, pain, sickness and irriatation were all to much. I began to try excersise, to the point were I was so worn out that I couldnt pay any attention to anything other than the pounding of my own heart. I started playin an insturment, I started playing video games with spare time( hadnt done that in 5 years!), I started doing things that I knew were healthy, no matter how tough they were. Many of my symptoms eased within 3 weeks. I spoke to my doctor, as we all probably have. I respect his opinion, and I have open dialoge about everything mentioned in this post. His only real recomendation was that I go back on cymbalta. He also recomended more drugs like zanax and valuim. I also decided at the sametime to severly recduce the amount of opiates that I use for pain. I decided in November I need to make this change, and I am only starting to feel like I am getting better. I know that one thought that helped me with the emotions was during the crying episodes, and the emotional rampages, I could "catch" myself and realize that it was the drug, this did nt stop anything at first, but it was an awarness. It took me several tries, but when I realized that I could alter ( not stop) emotions, I began to become more successful. It took 3 weeks, but I do feel as though I have gotten some control of the severe emotions.
Currently I am dealing with some anxiety, mainly about the dreams and sleeping, but I have learned that I am prone to the horrible nightmares at certain times of night. I do get the zaps, but they seem to be decreasing. The night sweats go away after awile, shower at night help, several showers it may take.
I dont have anything to tell about the long term depression, but you can get better. If I were you , I would just try to find some calm and ask myself If you hate who you are , or do you hate what this drug has done to you. If you hate who you are, talk to a professional. If you hate what this drug has done to you, do whatever you have to get yourself better.

[Sarah J]

I dont have anything to tell about the long term depression, but you can get better. If I were you , I would just try to find some calm and ask myself If you hate who you are , or do you hate what this drug has done to you. If you hate who you are, talk to a professional. If you hate what this drug has done to you, do whatever you have to get yourself better.

Very eloquently stated. I too read this forum for awhile before posting, I am pretty private, but knowing this is a journey I am not on alone makes it better. I do think that if you hate what the drug has turned you into, the successful people I have found that have shared their stores are the ones that quit and did not go back to taper doses, etc. You are in withdrawal, just like with a street drug!! I am reticent in saying that the best thing to do is stop, but stories I have read from successful others state that each time you take another dose, you are beginning the withdrawal process all over again. Be strong for yourself but people, please, get some help if you are in despair.

Glad to hear you are doing things you haven't done for awhile.

[joansie]

Molly & all of you here ~ my name is Joan & i'm on day 5 since my last dose of cymbalta...i cried reading Molly's post here...
i found these websites last nite...
its such a mixed bag ~ happy to know i prob dont have a brain tumor but upset at same time to read all the negative symptoms & fact they dont just go away when drug is out of our systems...
none of us can afford to feel this way no matter what life we lead...
i'm afraid to drive...my main symptom is in my head, ha - dizzyness/light headedness/headaches...i've gained weight & seem to want to eat more to ease my discomfort...i cry - i sob - all very sad for all of us...
i read about benadryl - when do u take it?? how much??
i truly feel your pain...others cannot possibly understand...
i also have a history of anxiety/depression & have been on/off many drugs...
i once went thru a bad time weaning off xanax many yrs ago when it was supposedly the non addictive version of valium...effexor was not easy either but this is BAD...
no need to type another word...we're all in same boat here...just hope it gets better for all of us!

[wandap]

Well guys, I'm about 18 days without Cymbalta. I have to say, I WILL SURVIVE! No, the doctors have no clue. But, if you can stick it out it does get better. I still have brain zaps. They are not nearly as sever nor as often as they were. I feel better now than I have in 2 years. Not totally back but getting there. I think we are all going to figure out that Cymbalta has affected us in so many more ways than even we know now. We will notice things for a long time to come and realize it was not US! We are not crazy, it was the Cymbalta. I still sometimes feel bad but not anything like I did. IT DOES GET BETTER! I know I will come out the other side of this. I have never really had depression as I have always been an optomistic, upbeat type and I am just now beginning to see ME coming back. Thank God.

[LowMo]

Day 17 for me. I am going to do a quick rundown of how I am feeling in all areas, and then try to offer some words of hope.

The thing that bothers me the most right now is my intestines/achiness all over. I shake some, but I have not blacked out or collapsed in over a week. (wow I just re-read that line. . . ) I still get the brain zaps, but I can sit comfortably in a room with lights on now, and the zapping is not as severe. My appetite is still very small, and I can only eat certian things, but the nausea is not as present.

My emotions are weird right now. I don't feel like I want to rip anyone's head off any more, but I feel myself still taking on emotions very heavily. I watched a preview the other night for a movie coming out soon, and I started weeping! I have become one of those people that kids point to and roll there eyes at!
Even though it bothers me that I am still crying, I can pin point why it is that I am crying, and it is not just random 4 hour crying.

I continue to be blessed by the crappy weather in MIchigan, we had another snow day today so I was able to stay in bed for a longer period of time.

Overall, I definitely have improved after the initial 2 weeks of hell, but remail skeptical about when I will return to "normal"

JOANSIE-

I am sorry that you shed tears for me, but isn't it interesting how withdrawaling from this makes us understand the plight and pain of others? I have cried for quite a few people this past month.

I agree that it is important to try to stay busy with life, even if it hurts like hell. I am trying to take it day by day, and minimizing the amount of time that I am alone. Sometimes even having the tv on quietly in the back helps.

Joansie, or anyone else that may need some understanding- We gotta have faith together. We will defeat this monster. If there is anything that I can do- let me know.

[ladybug]

I was on Cymbalt for about a month, but I too did not like how it made me feel so I quit taking it. I have now started to feel really funny. I feel like I'm dizzy a lot and I get real bad anxiety and depression; I just feel like I'm high or something. I think I have almost past out a few times. Yesterday my anxiety and depression got so bad I gave up and took a 60mg cymbalta. Are these symptoms I have listed related to Cymbalta? Should I still stay of the pill and fight through it? Thanks.

[Sarah J]

You should see your doctor about this. If it is withdrawal, your doctor needs to know how severe you are feeling.

[Keri]

Its been about 4weeks since I got off Cymbalta. Went from very high dosage to 0 in 11days. I dont know anything about Heroin withdrawals, for I have never in my life had a drug problem, but I have a feeling that the suffering both mentaly and physical feels much like the symptoms I have been going through. I feel as if I am loosing my mind, my body hurts so badly and my head feels a way I'm not even sure I could put into words. My vision is completely twisted, my body itches all the time, feel like I'm gonna black out, can't focus, nausea, cramping, my gage reflex is in overdrive all day everyday. I have no patience for anyone, very jumpy, noise sensitivity, I only want to be alone. I dont want anyone to look at me, touch me or talk to me or around me. The only good thing that has started to show is my Art is coming back. I'm normally a very nice person, self-sacrificing, lover of animals, I breed butterflies and so on. But, right now I feel evil and want nothing to do with anyone or anything. I hope to heaven this crap leaves me. Cymbalta is killing souls and needs to be band!

[Houdi]

Oh Keri:

You are a Cymbalta Warrior, coming off your dose of Cymbalta so fast. Yes, you are paying the heavy price for this quick withdrawal. :) All the things you mentioned are common complaints on Cymbalta withdrawal boards/forums. If you can, focus on the return of your 'Art' or anything positive you are getting out of not taking the evil Cymbalta. When I focused on the positive, it helped me with my anger and emotional yo-yoing. Nope, didn't do much for the nasty physical ailments....yuck! For me, the anger was one of the first withdrawal issues to "leave the building." I too went cold turkey, and it is a trying time, but I am over 1 year cymbalta free and am totally enjoying the experience and myself. Yay!!!

Best of wishes to you.....Houdi

[Cecile]

Keri
Hello, I'm cecile
I'm going through the same thing you are feeling!! I have completly changed as a person ant it's totally not me and i know it's this Cymbalta that's making me feel the way i feel....I just tell my husband that is completly irratated by my attatude and anger to just leave me alone and it will be all over soon i promise...I don't want to mean to him or yell...it's not me..But it's the Cymb making me this way and if he can't understand that then he should have never married me!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!! lol no he should be understanding...

Cece

[satishbhawra32]

Meanwhile my mother who has driven three hours to be with me is crying and drinking wine because I screamed at her for know apparent reason.

[MaureenV]

Meanwhile my mother who has driven three hours to be with me is crying and drinking wine because I screamed at her for know apparent reason.

Oh I identify with that! One night by husband and daughter were talking and I shouted at them: 'will you two please stop.....' Then I thought stop what? Breathing? :))

What I found was that it was connected with the brain zappy bit and feeling like the unpleasant parts of noise were being magnified. Suddenly I was noticing every lawn mower up and down the street; people's voices irritated me. I felt like saying 'please don't shout' when they weren't actually shouting.

Maureen.

[Adrian]

I have been dealing with depression for quite some time now and after some tests think we've found a cause / source for some of how Ive been feeling and with new insight I requested to get off a few of the drugs Ive been on for quite some time.. There are some meds I will always have to take, but Cymbalta was one in particular I wanted to get off of. My therapist tapered me off for two weeks and a living hell started.. I got to a point I had to take 60's again for a couple days to get rid of the side effects I was having.. I then went back to my therapist who told me to start tapering off again but open each capsule and take a little more medication out each day.. I finally got to the point there wasn't any left to take out and stopped again.. After a couple days I started have withdrawal symptoms again but thought I would just work through them.. The last month has been one of the hardest months I have ever had to deal with.. I have constantly felt motion sick, nauseated, and get the infamous "brain zaps" that are driving me crazy.. The last couple weeks Ive been made aware that I have become quite a pain and mean.. I don't know if its that Im tired of dealing with all this or what, but Im not sure how much longer I can keep this up! I keep seeing where people say withdrawals last about three weeks, but Im beyond that and still don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.. Ive pulled back in my shell to prevent my friends from being offended or upset with me, and I although self inflicted I hate not having any kind of support.. I don't want to lose close friends and am scared to even talk to any of them because I don't feel like Im thinking correctly and am very frustrated with life..

Whats the longest time frame anyone has gone dealing with withdrawal symptoms? If I don't start feeling better soon Im going to end up in a hospital..