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Nothing to Fear..except FEAR itself??


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#1 Jenofhearts

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Posted 14 September 2008 - 12:30 PM

My new head doc told me withdrawals will not kill me, I know this in my heart is true but I can't get my head on the same path. It seems I am an extremely worrisome person(I called that one). I truly fear that I am going to lose my mind over this! I started the 10mgs of prozac last week and it helped for about 3 days and I felt myself slipping again (had PMS too..hmm) this whole weekend since Fri. has been nothing but a crying fest, I feel so whacked out, not myself, no comfort in anything, dizzy, dis-associated, no appetite. Remind me please that this is the Cymbalta, I am so frightened I can hardly move sometimes. I upped my prozac by docs' order today to 20mg, feel a tiny bit better,trying so hard to ignore the nasty feelings in my gut and heart. I am going to admit here that I drink wine every night, I have been a "drinker" for years and years, I don't think I am an alcoholic but I do think I abuse it to feel better since it brings me solace every night from the daily pain. I don't think it interferes to much with the recovery since I have noticed many good changes since coming down to 20mgs of cymbalta. I didn't even mention it to the head doc, I didn't want to hear it, more than likely I won't stop anytime soon. Anyway going to hang in with the 20 20 program for a while and then drop to 20 15 when I feel brave enough. Thanks for listening guys,
Jenny

#2 iliao93

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Posted 14 September 2008 - 01:06 PM

Jeno, I'm so sorry your feeling so horrible, I have(& am) really been wishing better things for you! I'm not going to jump on the ol" soapbox about the drinking :shock: I'm sure you know and have had that talk with yourself plenty. If your going to do it, then in my thoughts wine would be the least harmful choice. I hope it's red because of all it's anti-oxidant properties :)
Question, when your crying, are you just really going at it full tilt? Are you trying not to cry and holding some back? Just wondering if fighting the emotion is prolonging the pain? I've been asking myself just these questions, I'm never alone so I try to not give in totally to a good cry even tho I have a sneaking suspicion it might be cleansing to my mental state. On the other hand I'm not so sure....the fear rears it's nasty head that I might go over the edge of no return. Natch that beings up it's own set of wondering's, like so what...would that be so bad...what would happen...on and on...back and fourth like a sea saw I go :? I've even been entertaining the idea of a good scream therapy session :roll: but I haven't anywhere to go where I wouldn't freak someone else out with that. Gad...I'm being of no help at all and just running off at the gray matter :oops:
Wish I could be of some real assistance here Jeno.....all I can do is tell you I'm sending pos vibes and thoughts your way.

Be Well !
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#3 marbles

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Posted 14 September 2008 - 08:42 PM

I think i have what you both have....the back and forth deal .,,with my emotions ...and the worrisome feeling of going over the edge. I am glad that others have the same feelings at times But I would be more glad if we only said it was the past.
Today I got fearful that this depression will never get over with :o Very scary...

.I have wine at home but I have xanax and it is not a good combo...so i might take a few sips .BUT I really love red sweet wine...... :roll:

dEVINE CHEMICAL ,WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!...........shirl



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