Hi everyone, you may not believe this but I have just came across this site after been battling with depression for around 8 years now. I mainly keep my thoughts and illness related life in a box with nobody else allowed to get in. Many are not aware of my struggle. My story is that I have been on Cymbalta for around 5 years now, previous to that I had Prozac and another one that bloated me up beyond belief. The name escapes me. I have paid for numerous methods to deal with my illness such as psychiatrist appointments, CBT, and other like minded treatments. The most recent one was the tapping therapy, simply don't ask!!
At this moment in time I am working out in Asia before embarking on a permanent move to Netherlands. For me I am on my own and finally had enough of pumping medication in to my body for nearly 10 years of my life. I am only 31 and dream for the day when I can wake up and not have to worry about taking this tablet or that tablet. Before I left the UK I decided to tell my GP that I wanted to try and come off meds all together. Got the standard nod of the head and a 3 month prescription for Cymbalta and advised to taper down to 30mg each day when I was ready.
I bottled out of it at first and paid for a private consultation in Bangkok with a doctor who was somewhat confused as to why the UK doctors just throw this medication at us without really diving into the problems. I just keep getting prescriptions without even being asked how it is going. She found this quite alarming. I told her my issue and she advised me to begin taking 30mg with 20mg prozac in the evening and go from there. I am now out of all my drugs and this is my 2nd day without anything.I plan on buying more and going for 30mg every second day with the Prozac. I will touch base with the Bangkok doctor again in 4 days as part of me says to try and keep it professional.
I try and use my anger/sadness/over active mind and release all my emotion in the gym. Some booze, some eat, I exercise. I don't drink as before when I have had alcohol it just makes my condition 10 times worse for around 2 weeks and alcohol removes all control I have left. This moment I am struggling with low moods, crazy diet cravings, this from someone who eats the most bland and boring diet known to man, and my mind is in overdrive. I literally can't switch it off. The dreams I am experiencing are also freaking me out while the crazy twitches I seem to be developing are almost like a mini fit at times. My mind just works overdrive in terms of creating scenarios and situations in my head that subconsciously I know is ridiculous but still seem to buy in to. It leads me to drastic action such as thinking everyone is out to get me and removing certain people from my life. This really gets me as I would love to be able to switch off as some do and enjoy a movie or whatever, but even when working out my mind is still racing at 200mph creating thoughts and scenarios that I cannot control.
I would appreciate to hear if the above is even semi normal for what some of you guys seem to be going through.
Thank you for listening.
