I took Cymbalta for five months and stopped about a little over a week ago because of money issues. I dream things that would make "disturbing" a gross understatement. Babies being raped, children killing each other, animals eating excrement and vomiting into desiccated corpses. And my 15 month old son constantly bleeding. I'm tortured and can smell rot when I wake up. They're vivid and the sense memory and imagery doesn't go away for hours after I awake. I close my eyes and see things, like staring at a bright picture and then turning away with the image still singed onto your eyes. It makes it difficult to differentiate between reality and night terrors. And then there are the shocks, the dizziness, the lack of hunger, and the recurring memories of attempted suicide.
The worst part about the ordeal is that I can't deal with it on my own. My roommate (and the mother of my child) yells at me for being worthless and lazy, exacerbating the situation. I don't want to leave because my child is the only solace I have. It doesn't matter that he doesn't understand what's going on because he doesn't need to. He doesn't try to relate it to something in his short life unlike adults who have that need. And I feel comfortable and normal around him.
I know this too shall pass, but I've already wrecked a car and my roommate/ partner has already been advised to kick me out of the house. This seems like the worst thing to do to someone with such a severe problem but trying to convince someone otherwise is a pointless endeavor. I'm tired. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do.
