30 replies to this topic

[equuswoman]

 

I have had a gamut of emotions today/tonite. All over the flippin' place....I am so tired of this ****....kwim???

My family understands my DD and DH are so precious to me. But I can not allow them to suffer this hell ....

 

I do however have a plan "B"... and will visit a friend for a few days (he works lots @ the RR and is our adopted red haired step son) my DH's relative actually. I love him as a son... My DH is down @ THC for his kinda therapy. Our DD will be home and I realize this crap is going on but am powerless to control it. Sorta mind/mouth outta 'body' if that makes any sense at ALL?!?!?!?!?!

60~65 damn, evil, vile little beads down....

I will 'make' it, I have to..

Prayers for all here on this wonderful forum who are walking this path thru hell and 'back'...no matter how long it make take....TheEquusWoman

[thismoment]

Equuswoman

 

You are in the thick of it now cowgirl, and you've got to ride this out! This is withdrawal, and the ride is over when it's over. It will only upset you more if it's not over when you want it to be over. So I'm asking you to put wishing and hoping aside for a while, because they both come with the element of expectation, and you know where that goes.

 

Your plan B is like Ulysses tied to the mast through the stormy waters of the siren song. Give it a go. The least it could do is kill a couple of days, and killing off these dog-days of withdrawal is what it's all about!

 

You know what? You're fighting and that's half the battle! And that noise in the background is me cheering for you!

 

PS I love the photo! Nice white oak table.

[thatstheoldme]

yes

[equuswoman]

It has amazed me at the compassion shown to each other here on this forum. I would not be down 60-65 beads had it NOT been for the ppl here on this Cymbalta Withdrawal Forum. When I first saw "bead count" I thought WTH??? Well now I know that to wean off for me, the only way is the bead counting method. There are others who've been able to quit Cymbalta cold turkey and some have been able to wean down pretty rapidly as well. Damn but those beads are so very very tiny... and so light in weight that they remind me of the tinniest of packing peanuts. I am praying for everyone on this forum. Close to my heart now is sweet nattsie. I was scared for her but after reading the post from thismoment I do feel better for nattsie and myself as I now realize I am in some of the emotional/mental w/d...that is a first for me. I've had some horrid nightmares and even now some just weird kinda dreams that I can recall during the day. Anyhow I will trudge on down the road thru hell and I "will'' make it back again to be with my "Cymbalta" friends! God bless us all and keep us safe on our journey...TheEquusWoman

[Clara]

Oh equuswoman! You've been on my mind! Go for plan B and try to enjoy! My heart just aches for you! I KNOW THAT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE.!!! Had a few rough days myself! You ARE NOT alone, even though w/drawal is "a lonely place to be"! You are in my prayers, dear lady! Keep us posted! This moment is so, so right, You're fighting this battle! Stay strong! We are here for you! I too an soooo grateful for everyone here!!! Hugs and prayers!!!! clara

[Clara]

Congrats on graduation, nattsie! That is a wonderful accomplishment! I hope your w/drawal symptoms are getting better so that you can enjoy life and move forward in whatever you endeavor!    Go ahead and "belly laugh", you deserve to be happy!! hugs and prayers, dear girlie!!! clara

[thismoment]

Natalie

 

Congratulations on your graduation!! That is so wonderful; I honour your achievement.  You must be proud of your work, and I know your mum is proud of you!!

 

Good work! That's an A+ 

[fishinghat]

My congratulations as well Nattsi!! Draw strength from that achievement. I must say it is a little depressing for me though, I have hangnails that old!! lol

 

Hey Equuswoman...Whoa   That picture was a flashback from hell!!! I remember that. Makes me want to get out the old hammer and have a bead mashing party. lol   How can anything that small be so nasty?  Take strength in your family, remember they are always nearby if you need them. May God bless and hold you tight during these times.

[Timbo]

 

I have had a gamut of emotions today/tonite. All over the flippin' place....I am so tired of this ****....kwim???

My family understands my DD and DH are so precious to me. But I can not allow them to suffer this hell ....

 

I do however have a plan "B"... and will visit a friend for a few days (he works lots @ the RR and is our adopted red haired step son) my DH's relative actually. I love him as a son... My DH is down @ THC for his kinda therapy. Our DD will be home and I realize this crap is going on but am powerless to control it. Sorta mind/mouth outta 'body' if that makes any sense at ALL?!?!?!?!?!

60~65 damn, evil, vile little beads down....

I will 'make' it, I have to..

Prayers for all here on this wonderful forum who are walking this path thru hell and 'back'...no matter how long it make take....TheEquusWoman

EquusWoman...I LOVE this picture.  It made me laugh when I saw it  - not because it's necessarily funny, but it just made the chaos of bead counting and fractured capsules so real.   One of my coping mechanisms is to find some humor in all of this.  That picture made my day!   I need something like those trays to count mine.  I have been dumping the ones I am taking out of the capsules directly back into the bottle (not so sanitary, I know).   

 

Anyway, thanks for the visual.   

[lovemy3girls]

Reading all of your stories has been so inspiring!

[fishinghat]

Its OK lm3g. You will make it. Take deep breaths and be very patient. We are here if you need us.

[thatstheoldme]

hi

[equuswoman]

thanks everyone.

much love,

more prayers always.

more from me tomorrow, 

today has been a bit better,

for that and you all I am forever so very grateful..

TheEquusWoman

[equuswoman]

Reading all of your stories has been so inspiring!

We will make this trip...we will help each other thru it...Prayers & hope from TheEquusWoman

[lovemy3girls]

We will make this trip...we will help each other thru it...Prayers & hope from TheEquusWoman

Thank you!

[Clara]

Hugs and prayers dear equus woman!!!!!!!!!!!  Keep us posted on your "sabbatical"!!!!!!!!! Here for you!!!! Don't make us worry!!! You're gonna be ok, but we gotta know!!!

[Clara]

Timbo, it's sooo cliché, but I really believe humor is the best medicine!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to reach very deep, but when I find it, it's soothing to my wounded soul!!!!!! Hugs and good thoughts!!!!!!!!!! clara  

[equuswoman]

Thanks everyone for the support and caring! Y'all are the greatest!

[thismoment]

Cheering for you Equuswoman!

[Timbo]

Equuswoman, thank YOU for your constant positive thoughts and encouragement.  You are an inspiration here, my friend!  

[lovemy3girls]

Its OK lm3g. You will make it. Take deep breaths and be very patient. We are here if you need us.

Thank you!!! Today I feel like I'm doing good, tomorrow could be different,I hope not. I am so happy to have everyone's support..

[Timbo]

Thank you!!! Today I feel like I'm doing good, tomorrow could be different,I hope not. I am so happy to have everyone's support..

That is exciting to hear!  You sound so much better today than you did 2 days ago.   You're going to make it, my friend!  You deserve a day of doing well.   

[Wagtail]

Today I'm REALY battling with the Same effects as Equuswoman .plus,. I hate that my husband will be home from work soon & he will find me on the lounge ..I don't waft to cry in front of him & let him see me as a victim but I can't keep up my " IM OK " front .. I feel so guilty that my family has to see me like this !.. I'm usually so strong & I hate crying in front of people ..:-(

[equuswoman]

Wagtail. Please talk to your husband. I had mine read the info here about support. Our families want to help us and many times are at a loss as to how. These w/d symptoms will pass but requires time. Support and prayers for you. TheEquusWoman

[lovemy3girls]

Timbo- Thank you!

[Wagtail]

Equuswoman , thanks for replying to my post .
It means a lot to know someone knows what I'm talking about & has walked in my shoes. My husband didn't get home until late last night & by then I was a bit of a mess I'm afraid . I did what you suggested & showed him a few posts , he's going to try to get home earlier today so I'm not home alone .
I took 2mg of Zanax last night to settle me & slow my racing negative thoughts . I woke with that dreaded dread feeling in my tummy , I find that the feelings of dread are the hardest for ME to deal with personaly .
I keep up the mantra of " I can do this " repeatably , so as to trick my brain In to being more positive .
I started this journey in October full of positive thoughts & motivation, after 10 yrs of being controlled by Cymbalta I truly felt strong enough to be my own person again .
I understand that I'm now being challenged & will have unbearable times before I am the old "Gail" again , I am sooooooo grateful that there are others out there who will throw me the rope & help pull me out of the sinking hole to reality again.
I will then be able to pay forward & take my turn in helping another victim of Cymbalta , & be able to do it with determination & love for another sufferer . Again I thank you ..:-)

[equuswoman]

Thinking about you. Prayers continue. ♥

[lovemy3girls]

Wagtail- I know all too well what you mean, I sometimes feel like a failure and that my kids deserve better. You will get there, I will get there. The fact that you are doing something now to get your old self back is a huge reason to celebrate and applaud yourself.. I don't know about you, but I am sure the hardest on myself, I think people think the worst of me and that is not true. Most just don't understand and many people ignore what they can't comprehend. If you need to be on the lounge, so be it. You are in the process of healing and rest is key. One day at a time, one moment if needed we will all get through this ((HUGS))

 

 

Equuswoman- How are you today?

[fishinghat]

lm3g, You don't realize how strong you are. You are not only fighting the withdrawal symptoms AND the side effects of the cymbalta. That is a rough rode requiring a lot of patience. The path is slow for you with few breaks but if anyone can do it you can. Hang on!!! God Bless.

[lovemy3girls]

lm3g, You don't realize how strong you are. You are not only fighting the withdrawal symptoms AND the side effects of the cymbalta. That is a rough rode requiring a lot of patience. The path is slow for you with few breaks but if anyone can do it you can. Hang on!!! God Bless.

 

I was never a patient person per say. I have learned that I have to be, it's the only way to get through this hell.. Your words really helped me today, I needed to hear something positive.. Thank you!