Have I lost my life for good?
#1
Posted 09 June 2009 - 01:36 PM
I found this message board and weaned slowly over a course of 6 weeks, from 90 to 7.5...yes, I was counting the tiny white beads at the end and used Prozac the last few days. I thought it would be over. But it isn't. I am still sick and as I type this my head is spinning and I feel like I am going to vomit. This is my life, day after day. For nearly 2 months now. That is one sixth of a year!
I am (or was) a very physically active person...biking, hiking, kayaking...I live in Maine and the summer is calling. I can barely make it through a day at work and have to go home and sleep for a few hours before I can face the evening. I am incredibly discouraged....I will have a day that is pretty good, (like last night I actually rode my bike) and then the next day feel worse than ever.
What can I do about this vertigo, this debilitating dizziness that makes me constantly nauseous and keeps me running to the bathroom? WILL IT EVER END? Have I lost my life for good? Tonight all I can do is cry.
#2
Posted 09 June 2009 - 03:14 PM
No, no, no....you have not lost your life for good. Goodness no. OMG, I know you are feeling so bad. I am sorry.
Some forum members find that the Prozac taken for a couple of weeks to a month after going Cymbalta free really helps. I didn't do this and my withdrawal seemed to last longer and be more intense than others. If I had it to do again, I would have tried the Prozac. Also, I found that OTC gerd medication helps the nausau. I took Pepcid. Dramamine can help with the vertigo. Some people find help with Benadryl. It makes me tired, so it helped with the sinus headaches and sleeping at night.
Most of the forum members have started or increased supplements like Omega 3's, B-complex, melatonin, etc. Try to read the supplement area. Also, try to limit outside stimuli; visual and mental. No reading, no busy television/movies, try to close your eyes and lay your head down for a short period of time to help the vertigo, headspinning and dizziness. Read some of the old posts here, you may find some really good tips that you find appropriate for you.
If you have suicidal thoughts, please call for help immediately! Post as often as you can, it is very therapeutic. Take REALLY, REALLY great care of yourself. K?
Best of wishes....Houdi
p.s. just read another of your posts and wanted to add this.....Try seeping real ginger, the root, in water for about 5 minutes. Helps with nausea and has other health benefits. Some people find real coconut helpful with the diarrhea.
#3
Posted 09 June 2009 - 10:36 PM
No suicidal ideation.. not to worry. My life is better than it has ever been....except for this pesky withdrawal. :-)
I have been eating ginger and drinking ginger tea which does help with the nausea, you are right. The crystallized ginger is good for riding in a vehicle. (but way too sugary) I just stated taking L-Theanine which is supposed to help with anxiety and stress (green tea) and I am taking a good multivitamin, B complex, and flaxseed oil.
I really don't know if I want to go back and begin taking Prozac again. I'm afraid it will set me back. I've been over a week with nothing. I do have a refill but I don't know if that's what I should do. I'm going to see Fleetwood Mac next week...my favorite band of all time. I think I'll do almost anything not to be sick for the concert......It's a week away so maybe there will be more progress by then.
Anyway, thanks for your kindness. It felt like my mother hugging me and saying "there, there, everything is going to be all right."
:-) Elaine
#4
Posted 10 June 2009 - 04:23 AM
I wish I could be that 'Motherly hug' for you. It would be really helpful for you. Get someone you trust to give you a real hug. You need the touch!
I don't want to push medication, but read about others who have tried Prozac and other anti depressants during withdrawal. Very short stop gap to get through the worst, which seems to be around day 7 of no Cymbalta, and most find it easier to stop taking the Prozac than the Cymbalta. For them, all or most of the withdrawal symptoms subside and it is really helpful for the emotional issues with the withdrawal too. I didn't take Cymbalta for depression but I am very sensitive to the emotional rollercoaster the withdrawal can create to an already fragile psychi. Obviously, I am not a doctor and am only discussing what I have read from others and my own experience of withdrawal. Crawl the forum and do what is right for you.
It is good you have something really exciting to look forward to! A concert! Can't wait to hear about when it happens.
Best of wishes....Houdi
#5
Posted 11 June 2009 - 10:07 AM
So last evening I took a Prozac. Today felt a little better up until about noon when I had to put out the lights in my office and lie down with a cold towel on my head. I'm going to try the Prozac for a couple of weeks and see if it will help.
This morning I actually found myself thinking...are you sitting down...that being on Cymbalta would be better than feeling so sick for so long. NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't let me do it, Houdin!!!!!
#7
Posted 11 June 2009 - 10:50 AM
We can blame the 'n' on the Cymbalta withdrawal created vertigo, dizziness, brain zaps, nausea, diarrhea, fuzz thinking and ....... :) Who can type with all this going on!
Your high stress job probably isn't helping with the withdrawal. But not having a job may be more stressful than a high stress one, so we'll just be thankful for the employment! It sounds like you are doing what you can to limit stress and maybe get a brain 'reset' with a small dark time out with your head on the desk. Sounds like your three years old or so. Cymbalta withdrawal makes us feel so empowered! :)
I do believe all of us who have had trouble with Cymbalta withdrawal wonder if we should just take one of the ugly dogs, just to give us a day off from the withdrawal. Except, we start thinking about how much worse it'll be when we try to withdraw again. So, it's back to one foot in front of the other, and trudge through.
You are doing a wonderful job getting through this process. I even read a little humor slipping into your writing. That's a good thing. You may be miserable, but your humor is in tact. Yea!
Now repeat after me: I am a successful Cymbalta withdrawal Warrior! OK, not a catchy chant.
Best of wishes....Houdi
#8
Posted 13 June 2009 - 01:08 AM
You know what really annoys me? When I try to explain to a pharmacist and they look at me like I'm crazy. I spoke with my pharmacist one time about it, and just recently to another one to see if they had any suggestions for the vertigo. Both of them looked so surprised and said that they had never heard anything like it and that they are so surprised to hear this. And they both asked me if I am sure it is the medication withdrawal that is making me sick. Ugh. Frustrating.
But I did get a suggestion from one of them that is helping...it is a motion sickness tablet called Bonine. Works like Dramamine but supposedly causes less drowsiness. Unfortunatley it makes me quite tired but for 2 nights now I have taken it before bed and don't have the dizziness, vertigo, and headspinning. I start getting it back in the late afternoon, but then I just take another one in a few hours and go to bed early. And I am still taking the Prozac. I have 2 weeks worth left. Then we'll see.
This is so crazy, isn't it? It's absolutely NUTS.
Thank you for being out there in Cyberland to lend a hand to those of us who have needed it.
I wish you a good weekend and hope you are doing something that will make you happy. It is the perfect day here in Maine, the kind of day that keeps me living here. (I hate the winters) I will hopefully be outside enjoying it.
I still say we need T-Shirts!
EB
#9
Posted 13 June 2009 - 03:41 AM
I like the bracelet and t-shirt idea. We can put together a contest for designs!
The experience you had at the pharmacy is sad. I have read on this forum and another I participate that the patient's MD is the one that is clueless but the pharmacist is helpful. Swell, you have the job of educating your pharmacists about Cymbalta withdrawal.
I am glad you found a helpful motion sickness medication. For me, the whooshing was one of the most persistent and lasting issues. (And it drove me NUTS, so annoying.) The other was joint swelling and pain in my hands and feet. Based on other forum members postings, I believe that patients that use a substitute another antidepressant like Prozac, Celexa, etc. for a short period of time during Cymbalta withdrawal really shorten the time they suffer.
You enjoy your Maine 'perfect' day! I believe getting outside and enjoying is really beneficial to your recovery. You are a Cymbalta Withdrawal Warrior! Ha, take that drug makers! :)
Best of wishes....Houdi
#10
Posted 15 June 2009 - 11:23 AM
Shana
#11
Posted 15 June 2009 - 03:51 PM
Oh, the wonderfulness of Cymbalta withdrawal! How about the weird and wonderful ways our brain and bodies react to Cymbalta deprivation. The drug is aweful huh? The havoc it wrecks on our bodies and minds during withdrawal can be horrid.
I am glad to hear your hubby is supportive, and listen to him when he says don't worry about things that aren't there. Really try to live by this mantra. It will serve you well. And, he is right that now is the time to take really good care of yourself. Try to think of you first for a while.
I'm sorry that you have had such a tough time with depression. It is a rough disease. You are in my prayers!
I see on the 'Board' that you posted under Perry's thread, he's posted as Perrypool. He is a doll and I miss reading his posts. He really has a great story and was adamant about documenting his journey so others may learn from his experiences. It's a great one to read.
Best of wishes.....Houdi
#12
Posted 15 June 2009 - 09:21 PM
Shana
#13
Posted 16 June 2009 - 04:00 AM
I didn't get a very good nights sleep last night. Had a little diet coke with dinner and the caffeine kept me up. So I got to think about all my woes. I hate it when that happens. And, it seems I blow everything out of proportion when the sleep doesn't come. So, I am very tired this morning.....
The anger and crying didn't last very long for me during my withdrawal. Take it as it comes, and don't feel guilty. Let those around you know what is going on and ask for their patience for the next week nor so. Once I knew the emotions would calm down soon, I actually embraced the emotions. Cymbalta seemed to strip me of them when I was on the medicine, so I looked forward to learning to having emotions and managing them myself.
Oh, and keep the humor, lame or not lame! I love it. I think it helps us get through. :) If we can't laugh at ourselves, I do believe we cry at our situation...so I say Laugh!!! It probably helps us keep everything in perspective.
My best to you....Houdi
#14
Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:40 PM
So, do you remember how long you had the vertigo after you had come off the Cymbalta?
BTW the Fleetwood Mac concert was last night and it was GREAT! I took Bonine so I had no brain swooshes, dizziness, nothing. But I had to take a double dose. Definitely worth it, though. :-)
#15
Posted 18 June 2009 - 09:02 AM
I really hate the swooshing too. WHen I tried going off Cymbalta 2 times before and never made it.....That was one of the first things I noticed. I told my husband I could hear my eyes move. To me it was like if I moved my eyes from side to side I could hear that noice. My husband looked at me a little funny. I told a few more people and they had the same look. so I decided not to tell anyone because they just didnt understand. TOday is my 11th day being off and its
not so noticeable today but it is still there. Do you still have it a little or is it still really noticeable without taking Bonine? I have been taking Dramamine for a week and ran out and found some Bonine in the cupboard from my sons whale watching trip.
Well ElaineB it was nice talking to you.
Hope you have a better and less swooshy day:)
Shana
#16
Posted 18 June 2009 - 09:26 AM
I cannot wait to hear how you are doing Prozac free. Did the Prozac for two weeks help alleviate your worst withdrawal symptoms? Maybe you will have an easier time with the whooshing because of the Prozac, seems like that is what I read from others who did the replacement therapy. I do hope so!!!!
I am so happy the concert was terrific. Yea!
Best wishes....Houdi
#17
Posted 19 June 2009 - 01:20 PM
You said it took you a couple of months for all the swooshes to go away....so I am prepared. I just hope they don't get worse...I don't feel like I could take that for too much longer. BTW, the Prozac worked with the other withdrawal sx. I would highly recommend it to others who are considering how to get off this drug from hell.
#18
Posted 20 June 2009 - 03:40 AM
You sound awesome. Yea, I know you had an 'I don't feel so good' day, but I have to add this, "Every bad day gets you closer to a whole bunch of good ones!" The bad days won't string together for too long. I bet you will not have a week of bad days like you did in the beginning. And once you get through the bad ones, you are set to experience some awesome days. Then....maybe a bad one or two, but not nearly as bad. You are handling this with a positive realistic attitude, and that is so helpful.
The sleeping after work is ok. You won't get worse and worse. You just need rest. That's all. Brain will rest and learn how to function on it's own, the proper way. Let it find it's way to think, make chemistry, handle issues, etc. while resting.
Keep up the great work, for your sake. No stress and enjoy the start of summer! All my best wishes...Houdi
#19
Posted 20 June 2009 - 11:45 PM
This experience has depleted every ounce of energy I have; I tried to go shopping yesterday and could barely make it for 2 hours; had to go home and go to bed. Geesh.
So I did some reading on the adrenal glands and I think I am going to treat myself for adrenal fatigue. I went to a homeopathic doctor about 10 years ago when I was exhausted and getting sick all the time and that's what it was. He treated me with vitamins and other natural supplements and I got well. I'm going to do everything I can to get well now and the LAST resort will be going to my doctor. No thank you, I don't think I want another prescription.
I am also going to begin 5HTP in about a week, when I'm sure all of this CRAP is out of my system. And work hard to exercise more.
I think that when my energy returns, I am going to be REALLY ticked off about all of this. Really.
#20
Posted 03 July 2009 - 01:27 AM
I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time. This forum, most especially Houdi, was a life preserver when I thought I was drowning. Thanks again, Houdi. If the rain ever goes away, I am hoping to get some kayaking in this weekend. Didn't think I'd ever be saying that again!
EB
#21
Posted 03 July 2009 - 05:50 PM
I haven't posted in a few days. i've been off 100% for 3 weeks this monday. the physical symptoms are very light now. i don't have head zaps or swooshing anymore until the end of the day. i'm still getting a bid vertigo and off balance at the end of day as EB stated in the previous post....it sucks, but it's typically at the end of the day when i'm exhausted and need to rest anyway.
the other thing however that is getting worse the longer i'm off the med is the agitation and anxiety. i feel very anxious sometimes, mostly at toward the end of the day, but today it started earlier than yesterday. I feel physically anxious and strong anxiety feelings in my head and body. I didn't have anxiety prior to the med, so i'm hoping it's still part of the withdrawal process for me and will get better with time. fingers crossed anyway that i won't need another ssri to resolve the new anxiety issue that's crept up! i was better last week with only some head zaps and no mental challenges and now that the physical are calming down, the mental is kicking in! what's going on?!?
any advice or experience to share? i'd love to hear!
thanks- gs
#22
Posted 03 July 2009 - 09:58 PM
One really weird thing that happens to me from time to time, that I haven't heard anyone mention, and that I am almost afraid to bring up because you may think I am seriously imbalanced (LOL) ....I have moments of uncontrollable manic laughter. Really, it is very weird. It's hard to explain...it usually happens when my SO says something funny and I begin to laugh and then I can't stop laughing to the point where I am trying to stop and want to stop but can't stop. And during the laughter I feel as though I have lost all control and I am truly losing my mind. My SO is a mental health professional and keeps reassuring me that it is just the chemicals in my head trying to get back to normal, but I find it rather disconcerting. It feels scary.
Has anyone else experienced this?
#23
Posted 04 July 2009 - 05:42 AM
well it's a comfort that your SO is a health professional and isn't saying the anxeity and crazy symptoms are from anything other than the medication withdrawal. I'm getting really close to thinking i need to be on a med again and don't want that, but want peace in my life as well! I have been working out a bit and am very familiar with the breathing and muscle exercises. I did have anxiety and panic attacks nearly 10 years ago and took a med for it, paxil. I went through very aggressive cognitive behavioral therapy and weaned from the med and have not had panic attack since.
these new feelings are much more unsettling than the anxiety i used to know....it's very different. my panic disorder would go from 0 to 60 and i'd be in full panic mode. here i'm just in a constant state of anxiety/agitation. luckily i'm able to sleep and it seems worse in the pm. but i can't understand how last week it went away completely and now it has crept back in.
I'll start the green tea regimen. 2 cups a day a good start? how much are you taking? I've also heard of the 5htp, and sam-e
i'm thinking maybe i need to look into those as well. I really don't want another pharmaceutical synthetic chemical to screw me up again, but i want peace again.
as crazy as it sounds....i know about the laughing thing. i didn't get it or haven't had it with the cymbalta, but i remember have laughing and crying fits with the paxil withdrawal. a lot of my withdrawal experience/symptoms were similar with the paxil except for this waxing and waning anxiety that feels like i want to quiety things and run out of my skin.
I know how odd it feels to be out of control of yourself, it's so uncomfortable, but for me, the laughing and crying fits passed with paxil and didn't stick. i can't remember how long i had them for or how frequent they were b/c it was sooo many years ago since i weaned (7 years now).
happy 4th-
gs
#24
Posted 04 July 2009 - 10:37 PM
You WILL get better! I beleive you can do it. This drug is more than we realize and the things it has done to our brains is unbelieveable. But our brain and our bodies are designed to recover but it will take time. Take vitamins and eat right, less or no caffine and sugar may help. Support your brain with good nature foods and supplements and air and peace.
You can do it, I believe in you.
Be blessed
Jeff
#25
Posted 05 July 2009 - 12:59 PM
I am doing everything within my power to get better and I am seeing progress. Thanks for your encouragement. Hope this will encourage others who may be in the midst of the worst of it. The last time I took Cymbalta was on May 31...I thought the brain swooshes would be gone by now. It's just taking so long. What on earth have I done to my poor brain?
Elaine
#27
Posted 02 August 2009 - 05:04 AM
How about a t-shit that says:
Caution: Objects and people, without cymbalta, may be closer to me than they appear.
or
I'm not as thought as they crazy I was
or
Off the sauce and finally feeling saucey again!!
I love that and Cymbalta withdrawal Warrior!!!!!!!
I have to tell you- I have chronic Lyme which is bad- you feel really, really sick but that is mellow compared to this! And trust me, that's saying something.
You are all helping me get through this just by sharing! My husband asked me to give this experience a name- I told him Primal Agony.
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