Hello, very new member here. When those telltale symptoms started up again I was so relieved to find this community and to read other people's experiences. It confirmed it was not all in my head.
It's hard to know where to start as I have been on at least 10+ antidepressants in the last 10 years. Lets start about 5 years ago when I first was introduced to this drug. I was at university, and working for 3 nursing agencies to support myself and living in a shared house. I was severely in debt, working double/triple shifts, recovering from a violent relationship. I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, severe anxiety and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder at the time. I didn't particularly like Cymbalta (I didn't like any antidepressant I had tried) but it was the only thing that would keep my anxiety under control. I had previously been on valium twice daily which was just a horrible experience, so I had hopes for Cymbalta.
I steadily gained 20kg in the first 2 years which only increased to my feelings of depression and negative self worth. I ended up having to drop out of my final year of my nursing degree as I just could no longer function. Fast forward to 2 years ago. I'd gained another 10kg and needed to make a huge change in my life. I'd moved interstate to start fresh, had gone back to school and was trying to get back on track. I found a relatively decent local doctor, who upped my dose from 60mg to 120mg as everytime I went to see her I was an emotional wreck. If I missed a dose or did not take it habitually on time ever day I would get headaches and those nasty brain zapps which used to terrify me. She also believed I had Bipolar Disorder and prescribed a daily dose of 300mg Seroqual, which helped to level my mood swings and control the emotional roller coaster I was on.
Six months ago my doctor went on maternity leave and I transferred over to a new doctor in the same practice. When my scripts ran out I went to see this new doctor who immediately said 120mg is too much and he would not renew my scripts. I was then forced to half my dose from 120mg down to 60mg with NO warning. I had just started up my own business after getting a new qualification and it was the worst possible timing to mess with my meds. I vain this fell on deaf ears to the health care professionals that were in charge of my "care".
Fast forward to now. I'm struggling with my new business, I have terrible insomnia and just daily stress that comes with being self employed. I've gone back to having difficulty doing daily tasks. And I was spending money like it is going out of style. I have NO idea that Spending Uncontrollably was a side effect of Cymbalta.
I went to pick up my script on Friday to find my health care card has been cancelled, again with NO warning. My $6 meds now are in the hundreds to which are just completely financially out of reach. Being a new business owner (who is poorer than I have ever been in my life) I no longer qualify for a health care card and reduced meds and doctors visits. So 60mg is now to 0 and I have 3 doses left of my Seroqual. I'm trying to stay zen and cold turkey with a plan, however the last 48 hours have been a jumble of withdrawal symptoms and intense irritability. Even whilst writing this I am slipping in and out of intense emotional mood swings from tears to anger with the old brain zapps and an intense headache.
In writing this I hope to reach out to other people who are experiencing what I am, and in some way for this to be therapeutic for me.
Signed, lost, lonely, confused and silently hurting.
