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Healing Is A Contact Sport


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#1 thismoment

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Posted 12 April 2014 - 07:13 AM

Depression, and certainly anxiety often relate to separation. It's an injury of separation that's perpetuated by more separation, but it's healed within the environment of contact.

 

We often sabotage the opportunity for healing by driving loved ones away! We say, "Just stay away, I can deal with this myself. I don't want to destroy anyone else's life!" The truth is, we're making both lives worse by creating separation where healing can't possibly take place.

 

Therefore, we need to create strategies to foster contact.

 

When we are in pain we hug ourselves, the pillow, the fuzzy bear, the terrycloth monkey.  We say, "I'm trying to get ahold of it . . . trying to get a handle on it." We express a yearning for containment and contact. And we say, "I'm holding on," yet there is no one in our arms.

 

Often it has to start with an apology, which usually travels paired with a promise.

 

Find a way back into those arms where the real medicine is.


#2 Carleeta

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    Read so many painful stories on here and offering others support while trying to heal myself from cymbalta and other antidepressents.

Posted 12 April 2014 - 08:51 PM

No truer words have been spoken...

#3 gail

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    In hope that one day, I can return the favors in some kind of way.

Posted 29 October 2016 - 03:33 PM

Depression, and certainly anxiety often relate to separation. It's an injury of separation that's perpetuated by more separation, but it's healed within the environment of contact.
 
We often sabotage the opportunity for healing by driving loved ones away! We say, "Just stay away, I can deal with this myself. I don't want to destroy anyone else's life!" The truth is, we're making both lives worse by creating separation where healing can't possibly take place.
 
Therefore, we need to create strategies to foster contact.
 
When we are in pain we hug ourselves, the pillow, the fuzzy bear, the terrycloth monkey.  We say, "I'm trying to get ahold of it . . . trying to get a handle on it." We express a yearning for containment and contact. And we say, "I'm holding on," yet there is no one in our arms.
 
Often it has to start with an apology, which usually travels paired with a promise.
 
Find a way back into those arms where the real medicine is.


Wanted to bring this back up! Thismoment, we miss your words of wisdom.

#4 Ajax

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Posted 30 October 2016 - 05:36 PM

This is very wise and a good reminder for me.  Right now my dear husband is driving me nuts and I have to keep remember he is trying to help me and being irritable is one of the symptoms of the withdrawal. I want to just avoid him, but I think Thismoment has a really good point.


#5 LS1978

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Posted 13 April 2017 - 05:21 PM

I wish this could be true for me, but it's not.  My mother and sibling are fed up with my depression.  They think I'm just lazy.  My sibling has told me on more than one occasion that I'm a burden.  My mother has threatened to throw me out unless I can get back to work soon.  I've tried really hard to explain my depression and anxiety to them.  My mother seems like she might be starting to get it.  I don't know.  I try not to speak to her very much, because it would only take one more argument for me to find myself living in my car.

 

I've found that it's best to not be around them, because they make me feel worse about myself and more depressed and anxious.


#6 fishinghat

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Posted 14 April 2017 - 08:36 AM

During my nervous breakdown in 2002, one of the first things my therapist did was to put me in a relatively moderate isolation. No outside contact, no phone calls, etc.  This greatly minimizes your exposure to stress. Even contact with my family was eliminated even though they were supportive due to the fact that they had me relive the trauma that caused by collapse every time I saw them. This isolation was more effective than any of the meds I took and gave me the peace and quiet I needed to start healing.

 

You need to remove yourself from this destructive environment because they are greatly impeding you from your healing. That may be tough but it would make your situation better. A friend or other relative that you could stay with that would allow you the peace and quiet you need?


#7 LS1978

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Posted 14 April 2017 - 12:21 PM

During my nervous breakdown in 2002, one of the first things my therapist did was to put me in a relatively moderate isolation. No outside contact, no phone calls, etc.  This greatly minimizes your exposure to stress. Even contact with my family was eliminated even though they were supportive due to the fact that they had me relive the trauma that caused by collapse every time I saw them. This isolation was more effective than any of the meds I took and gave me the peace and quiet I needed to start healing.

 

You need to remove yourself from this destructive environment because they are greatly impeding you from your healing. That may be tough but it would make your situation better. A friend or other relative that you could stay with that would allow you the peace and quiet you need?

 

There is only one relative willing to take me in (I've already asked), but it would be a risk to her, because child services makes sure her house is suitable for her grandson to live in.  With me living there, it would be 4 people in a small house, and I'm afraid it would cause problems for them.  I've also been told that it would be selfish of me to go there, so I could alienate the family I have left by doing it.  

 

And I have no friends.


#8 fishinghat

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Posted 14 April 2017 - 02:19 PM

So sorry. You might want to contact your local NAMI office, a free mental health help association. Also you might also contact your local 'office on aging'. This organization is excellent at making you aware of what services are available in your area. I have used them several times for website members to get them some help. You do NOT have to be over 65 and all services/advice is free.

 

If you wish for me to try and do this for you I would be happy to. I would need your City of residence though which you could PM me.

 

Anyway I can help let me know.


#9 LS1978

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Posted 14 April 2017 - 06:17 PM

So sorry. You might want to contact your local NAMI office, a free mental health help association. Also you might also contact your local 'office on aging'. This organization is excellent at making you aware of what services are available in your area. I have used them several times for website members to get them some help. You do NOT have to be over 65 and all services/advice is free.

 

If you wish for me to try and do this for you I would be happy to. I would need your City of residence though which you could PM me.

 

Anyway I can help let me know.

 

Thank you, fishinghat.   :wub:    I tried to "like" your post, but the system won't let me.  ("You have reached your quota of positive votes for the day" is what pops up when I click on "Like This")

 

Anyway, I hadn't thought about NAMI, and certainly not the office on aging.  I will check with NAMI first.  

 

I've already checked into homeless options around here, and there are a few shelters...but I have a car.  Spaces are limited, and I wouldn't want to take a bed away from someone who doesn't even have a car.  I also have a small pet I would not want to lose.  He is really the only bright spot in my life right now.





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