1 reply to this topic

[propnut]

hi everyone..ive read through many posts here on getting off cymbalta, and i think ill go the escitalopram (lexapro) way as this was an effective AD for me in the past.

I think my case differs a little from most in that ive been taking ADs and AAs and APs for 15 years now..and nothing has "cured" me. I've had ECT, been on lithium, just about every SSRI, SNRI, NARI and even MOAIs. I even explored deep brain stimulation.

recently, i have had much success using "intervention" type therapies with a doctor that specialises in pain, but it qualified in psych. Subuxone (buprenorphine), and even Codiene give rapid relief when im very depressed, but i am easily hooked.

I was on sub for 18 months straight...but the doses got higher and higher and eventually it didnt work and the detox was horrendous requiring a hospital stay and supervised/augmented with anaesthetic withdrawal. I was also the most depressed ever for about 6 weeks after...so i dont want to go down that road again.

Still, ive been searching for a cure and it dawned on me that i dont recall really being "depressed" until after i started taking ADs. I presented in my early 20s after a troubled youth, but i presented with mostly aggression and some baggage from a life where things hadnt gone too well for me.

My life is very different now as despite the struggles with the regular depression, life is pretty good...in terms of job, kids, house and so on.

Additionally i would accidentally miss a cymbalta dosage (60mg) every once in a while, and for some reason felt particularly good. So i thought that the only thing i hadnt tried in the last 15 years is to stop taking my meds.

I was taking 120mg cymbalta, then went back to 60mg..that was ok and in fact i felt much better. i even felt better again at 30mg..after tapering.

however the move from 30mg to 15 mg has been particularly difficult and i am constantly nauseaus, and a little irritable..sometimes much. just yesterday i was particularly sad/down.

the thing is, i have been through this for so long i am pretty sure what the indicators of being depressed are..and that is rumination, or suicide ideation..or fleeting thoughts of "what it would be like to be dead"...and i havent had as many of these since lowering the dosage as i did whilst "on".

That was true until yesterday that is...so i panicked and took 60mg. I am writing this today as i am able to- yesterday i was not. I am still amazed at how fast cymbalta actually works...this was one of the reasons i had the courage to wean off, as weaning off the long acting ADs made me fear a period of weeks of being suicidally depressed- if the wean didnt work. Cymbalta empowers me to try as the "relief" is only a day or two away.

I think i feel a bit better today..but mornings are always ok for me. the afternoon and early evenings are my sticking point.

Anywhoo, i am hoping to get some feedback from others who may have been down a similar long term path as me. I've been using cymbalta for over a year now, and previous to that, lexapro and talohexal were the ADs that really worked- at least for a while- for me.

The thing that excites me is those brief periods of wellbeing i feel when i reduce my dosage, but then it really yo-yos and ive now had some really shitty days too....as i work, i am not so sure i should persist, just in case coming off does not work..plus when im "ill", work is tough to do.

im pretty sure what i need to do is to go on the lexapro and adopt the findings others have made in this forum...but it'd be nice to know if someone has similar or exact expertience.

BTW ive never had brain zaps..but i do get the swimming head and constant nausea, and when i first reduced my dosages i experienced headaches...but im wondering how to minimise these so i can continue to function for work and my kids.

thanks for reading..i know its a long first post.

Tim

[Houdi]

Hey Tim:

I don't have the answers to your BIG question, as to someone who has walked the same road as you have walked with the long term AD useage.

I have only read you post once, but I have a couple of thoughts, so I'm going to jump in the pool and give them to you..... Yes, they are nice! :) Also, I hope you get lots of feedback from other forum members. We have plethora of individuals with care and empathy who are in different stages of withdrawal from Cymbalta for many different reasons.

First off, your enthusiasm and good feelings for being off the drug will help you as you find your way. You may feel badly, but looking forward to emotions and learning to 'deal' with them is a must.

Second, you may be better off weaning a little slower. You did alright coming off the higher doses, but you may need take smaller step downs. Some people actually fill their own dosages of Cymbalta by buying capsules at a nutrition store. Be very careful not to crush or destroy the beads. I think some people have gotten a compounding pharmacist to help too. And maybe a little more time on a lower dose. Take your time; do it on your schedule.

Third, don't ever apologize for a post. Long, short, mad, happy....remember we've all been there. That's why we are all here. This is a place you can vent and discuss whatever is on your mind. Talk through any ideas. It is your safe haven! Ours too....Houdi