30 replies to this topic

[FiveNotions]

This is a thread just for our dear friend Wagtail ... life here on the forum isn't the same without you here in our midst ... we miss you, we're rooting for you, praying for you and very much looking forward to the day you arrive back to let us know how you're doing!

 

I just checked your profile, and see that you logged on for a bit of time on July 28th ... I hope this means that you've got your iPad with you and are able to spend some time reading here and keeping up with our "wild and crazy goings-on" ....

 

Please, if you can and feel up to it, post just a little something to let us know how you're doing!

 

   

[fishinghat]

Hey WT. I was just wondering about you and how you are doing last night. I said a little prayer for you.

Best wishes.

[thismoment]

Wagtail

I am so happy FN started this thread. Every time I log on I wonder how you are doing. I sincerely hope you are finding peace.

[ShadyLady]

Ditto!! I think about you and the problems you were having...I hope you are doing much better & that you will be back with us soon!!
Some are sicker than others on this no C journey;). I'm running in 1st place, IMHO!!

Blessings, Wagtail. Rebecca

[Carleeta]

Wagtail, you are being soooo missed.  You've been on my mind lately, and wondering how you are doing.  Please keep us posted when and can...  My prayers are going out to you my dear friend...

[gail]

Same here Wagtail, thinking of you!

 

My intuition tells me you are in good hands, and that all will be much better  for you soon.

 

Post when you are ready, much love

[ZappAlta]

Thinking of you too Wag

[Clara]

Dear sweet wagtail, You ,our friend are loved and missed here on the forum! Praying for you daily!

[FiveNotions]

Just checking in here to say hi, Wagtail ... and that I love you, miss you and am praying for you!

I hope you're learning all sorts of new things, and that when you arrive back here you can pass along your newfound knowledge and experience!

I also hope the food is good, and that there's a ready supply of chocolate

[BelaLugosisDad]

Please could someone send me a PM and let me know about Wagtail? I have just got out of the hospital and am out of the loop. I know she had been struggling a lot and would just like to know if she is somewhere safe.

 

Ax

[Wagtail]

Hello everyone & from the bottom of my heart I thank you all ...
I came home yesterday after 3 weeks & 4 days in the clinic.

I am back on a antidepressant , it's an old one " Nortryptaline " 75mgs taken @ night because it causes drowsiness, dry moth & constipation . It took @ least 3 weeks for me to notice any difference in my depression & then it was just a small feeling .
I was on 10 mgs of Valium 3x day when I was admitted & now down to 5 mgs 3 x day & as the antidepressant improves me I will reduce the Valium down as appropriate .

CAN I ASK YOU TO PLEASE " NOT " TELL ME ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT NORTRIPTALINE OR ITS SIDE EFFECTS !!!!!,

I asked the doctor to not to tell me either because he chose this medication on my history & telling me will just scare me & make me worse .

I am as you can all imagine , very disappointed that I managed 9 months off Cymbalta before the relapse hit me hard . I gave it four weeks before I couldn't do it any longer ....

I FOUGHT THE WAR & THE WAR WON ...

I have accepted that I will probably need to be on a antidepressant for the rest of my life.
I'm finding it very hard being home & back to all the everyday problems of my life .
In the clinic I had doctors & nurses there to help me with any problem or fear & only had to concentrate on myself & getting better.
I find that I'm still fragile & scared , I think I may need to have my medication increased to the next level of 100mgs .
It's Sunday morning here & can't speak to my doctor until tomorrow ..... I need to be stronger with my negative thoughts .... In the clinic you're surrounded by people who are giving you positive thoughts & encouragement , I guess cocooned is a good way to explain it .
I'm supposed to be leaving for a 2 week holiday next Saturday with our daughter & 3 yr old grandson & I'm full of anticipatly anxiety ..... To me this is a sign that my antidepressant isn't strong enough or not working yet.... I have been taking it for almost 4 weeks starting @ 25 mg for a week then 50 mgs for a week & 75 mgs for just on 4 weeks ....
Missed you all & will catch up more as I get stronger .....xxxxxx

[FiveNotions]

Welcome home dear Wagtail !!!!
 
We've missed you so much, worried about you, and most of all, prayed and rooted for you !!!
 
I couldn't help myself, I did research nortriptyline... and I couldn't find a thing bad about it to tell you ... your doc is a genius!!
 
  [Warning, lots of CAPITAL LETTERS and bold about to be used... to express HAPPINESS !]
 
It's not an ssri, not at all related to the evil Cymbalta ... it's in a group of meds called "tryciclics" ... it's been around since the 1950's ... a "tried and true" med... like the valium you're taking ... it works in a completely different way than Cymbalta and the "new" (and much more powerful/dangerous/addictive" ssri's ... (to make an analogy, you've been so successful in your healing and recovery that you've been able to switch from "EverClear Grain Alcohol" to "Miller Lite" )
 
What I'm trying to say here is that you DID WIN THE BATTLE !!! You got off the Cymbalta, you got yourself out of the ssri trap ... that's HUGE!
 
The nortriptyline and valium are safer, simpler and .... DRUM ROLL ... the nortriptyline, in comparison testing with ssri's (like crapalta) performed AS WELL or BETTER !!!
 
Wagtail,  that you're now using nortriptyline isn't a relapse or a failure ... it's a HUGE step forward ... you BEAT the highly addictive and damaging SSRI's and you're now moving forward  into healing !!!
 
So, your only "assignment" now is to just settle into these meds ... and DO NOT do anything you don't have to do ... keep that wonderful "cocoon" thing going as fully as possible now that you're home ... NO running around, NO trying to socialize, NO feeling obligated to do anything or see anyone ...

 

You're in what we could call a "re-entry phase" ... like the space shuttle returning to earth ... gradual descent in altitude ... careful maneuvering .... gentle gentle gentle ....

 

Also, SCREW the "supposed to" stuff ... if you don't feel up to that trip with daughter and grandson, just say you don't feel up to it and don't go. She's gonna' understand ... hell, she was one of your family members who loves you enuf to encourage you to take some time off and get the help you needed ... I doubt she wants to be the cause of you having to go back there again... (although I really must confess, I really do envy you for being able to do that ... I would just love to be surrounded by folks who are totally supportive, totally "in my corner" and totally focused on my well-being!)

 

So, once again, welcome home Wagtail ... you are our Conquering Heroine!!!

[Carleeta]

Wagtail, it's wonderful hearing from you, and finding your anxiety and depression have been under control.  No never will you hear from me, not to take a certain medication, or anything negative about the one you are on.  Infact, I'm relieved to hear that they have found the type of medication that works for you.  I've always stated that some individuals (more than half) need medication because it's just the way our chemical imbalances are.  If someone needs it, they need take it and that's perfectly ok.  You need your quality of life and that is what is important.  Yes, I agree to all the positives in your life and stay clear from the unnecessary negatives.  It's good to hear your doctor will be helping you along as your increase some meds, and decrease others.  You have made the right decision and I admire this.. It took lots of courage to do what you did.  Isn't it wonderful to be around positive people and positive thinking.  You stay on that path..  It's healthy all the way around.

 

You take care of yourself, and remember 'you' come first.....

 

Keep us posted and smile...

[Wagtail]

Fivenotions & Carleeta ,
Thank you both for the encouragement & FN thank you for the POSITIVE INFORMATION ... You have made my anxiety drop a couple of levels ..... Affirmation is imperative @ this stage & you both gave me that gift ... So glad to be back in the cradle of the fold !......
Love to all of you ..xxxxxx

[FiveNotions]

hehehe ... I just love the 1950's ... it was "back in my day" ... life was simple ... and "meds" were simple ... I'm all in favor of "going retro" ... so yes, Wagtail ... you're now in "retro recovery" !!!

[fishinghat]

Oh Wagtail I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you!! You have been missed and we have all worried about you so much. I am glad things have improved for you. God Bless

[gail]

Wagtail, what a surprise to see you here this morning!

Welcome back! FN has done the research, sounds good and nothing dramatic compared to the
C word.

Glad to see you back!

I am with FN here about this trip. You do not need the pressure. No way Jose!

[BelaLugosisDad]

Hey beautiful! Thanks for making so many of us happy by coming back.

 

Ax

[FiveNotions]

Adam, hello! We've missed you, too! I just saw you earlier post, that you've been in the hospital as well .... how are you, did the hospital figure out anything more about what's going on with you? Please, fill us in!

[TryinginFL]

Oh, Wagtail....

 

How wonderful that you are back and heading down a new and wonderful path!  We have missed you and I have prayed for you - it does help!!

 

Ditto to all that has already been said, but I would like to add - if you have any anxiety about this trip you are about to take - DON'T DO IT!!!  If I had listened to my gut I would not have taken that almost 2 week trip half way around the world.  The anxiety was there before I left and I should never have gone.  Of course, this is your decision and only you can make the choice, but I wish I had stayed at home. 

 

Lots of love, hugs and prayers,

Liz

[FiveNotions]

Hi Wagtail ... just checking in to ask how you're doing / feeling ... be gentle on yourself, and like I said above, keep the "cocoon" thing going as long as possible!

[Wagtail]

Hi everyone, I'm still on a journey.

I started on Nortriptaline on the 23rd July @ 25 mgs, increased to 50mgs 31st July , increased to 75 mgs 7th August until the 18th then was increased to 100mg two nights ago .
I am praying that it will start working for me very soon.
I have had a couple of fleeting moments of a feeling that something was happening but it was like fairy dust & disappeared as quickly as it came .
I'm praying that it will work for me very soon but for the moment I still have fear , anxiety & depressed .
Being such an old AD maybe it takes a little longer & Ive only been on a decent dose for two nights.

I'm still scared to google it because I don't want to read anything negative while I'm still so fragile .

I think of you all often & pray that you're all doing ok.
Xxxx

[TryinginFL]

God Bless you, Wagtail

[thismoment]

Wagtail

I looked for you every time I logged on. Ah, there you are; all is well.

[ZappAlta]

Wag so very glad to hear from you -distract those neg thoughts with light pleasant books on tape/cd's -meditation- make small goals toward healing -each day remind yourself of the positive blessings in your life- a setback is not a failure not any different than say having heart disease that sometimes require Hospitalization and med changes. Don't feel obliged to report to us -you are well respected and loved here ))))

[FiveNotions]

Great to hear that you've worked your way up to the higher dose or the nortryptaline ... it's definitely getting into your system and taking effect now ... and now that you're at the higher dose, it'll kick in a bit faster ... just remember that at this will still take a few more days, maybe a week ... my bet is that each day you'll notice a slight "shift" towards feeling better ...

 

And don't bother about "googling" the new med ... I did that for you when you first got home and told us what you're taking ... remember what I wrote ...

 

it's one of the "old tried and true" meds ... it works on serotonin, but it's not an SSRI ... works in a different way ... it's been shown to be more effective than SSRIs ...

 

the only reason it's not prescribed often these days is that the pharma cos came up with new and more addictive drugs and convinced docs that the new meds are the ones to prescribe ... that's all about $$$$, not the actual safety and effectiveness of the drug ...

 

You've got a great doc, and the meds you're on, nortriptaline and valium do work!!!

[ShadyLady]

Hi, Wagtail;) I didn't see that you had posted recently:( I saw you were online & just wanted to let you know your in my thoughts and I was wondering how you were doing...when I joined June 16th, I read the struggles you were experiencing with anxiety after being off the CYM for awhile. I hope you are feeling better and that the new med is 'kicking in' and you are experiencing some relief;).
Godspeed & a big cyber hug to you, Reba

[brzghoff]

Hi everyone, I'm still on a journey.

I started on Nortriptaline on the 23rd July @ 25 mgs, increased to 50mgs 31st July , increased to 75 mgs 7th August until the 18th then was increased to 100mg two nights ago .
I am praying that it will start working for me very soon.
I have had a couple of fleeting moments of a feeling that something was happening but it was like fairy dust & disappeared as quickly as it came .
I'm praying that it will work for me very soon but for the moment I still have fear , anxiety & depressed .
Being such an old AD maybe it takes a little longer & Ive only been on a decent dose for two nights.

I'm still scared to google it because I don't want to read anything negative while I'm still so fragile .

I think of you all often & pray that you're all doing ok.
Xxxx

wagtail,

 

i know your posts, but i don't know if we've ever really "addressed" each other and i would like to welcome you back. i think you will do well on your new regimen. by the way, i've neer seen anything negative on the "nori". it will take time and i wish you the best on your journey

[Jones]

Wagtail, .
Sometimes I think I should get off this page but I know I will be wondering how people are doing or ithink maybe someone could possibly use any words from me.
I think you are incredibly brave and I smile when I see you have written. I think I heard a collective sigh of relief when you and trying in fla reappeared here.
Everyone in their own hell yet still one foot on terra firma connecting here, growing here, loving here.

[FiveNotions]

Hi Wagtail! Just checking in here to say hello, and that I'm praying for you every day! We miss you, and are looking forward to your return! You are brave and wonderful and you are doing exactly what you need to do to care for yourself and to heal ... I saw from your profile that you last signed on on 8/25..... so I guess you don't have your tablet with you.... Which is actually a good thing (even tho'I wish you could "sneak" in here once in a while) .... You need to be away from everything...and snuggled up in your little cocoon ..... You'll emerge as Wagtail the beautiful butterfly, ready to spread her wings and fly!

Xox