Welcome home dear Wagtail !!!!
We've missed you so much, worried about you, and most of all, prayed and rooted for you !!!
I couldn't help myself, I did research nortriptyline... and I couldn't find a thing bad about it to tell you ... your doc is a genius!!
[Warning, lots of CAPITAL LETTERS and bold about to be used... to express HAPPINESS !]
It's not an ssri, not at all related to the evil Cymbalta ... it's in a group of meds called "tryciclics" ... it's been around since the 1950's ... a "tried and true" med... like the valium you're taking ... it works in a completely different way than Cymbalta and the "new" (and much more powerful/dangerous/addictive" ssri's ... (to make an analogy, you've been so successful in your healing and recovery that you've been able to switch from "EverClear Grain Alcohol" to "Miller Lite" )
What I'm trying to say here is that you DID WIN THE BATTLE !!! You got off the Cymbalta, you got yourself out of the ssri trap ... that's HUGE!
The nortriptyline and valium are safer, simpler and .... DRUM ROLL ... the nortriptyline, in comparison testing with ssri's (like crapalta) performed AS WELL or BETTER !!!
Wagtail, that you're now using nortriptyline isn't a relapse or a failure ... it's a HUGE step forward ... you BEAT the highly addictive and damaging SSRI's and you're now moving forward into healing !!!
So, your only "assignment" now is to just settle into these meds ... and DO NOT do anything you don't have to do ... keep that wonderful "cocoon" thing going as fully as possible now that you're home ... NO running around, NO trying to socialize, NO feeling obligated to do anything or see anyone ...
You're in what we could call a "re-entry phase" ... like the space shuttle returning to earth ... gradual descent in altitude ... careful maneuvering .... gentle gentle gentle ....
Also, SCREW the "supposed to" stuff ... if you don't feel up to that trip with daughter and grandson, just say you don't feel up to it and don't go. She's gonna' understand ... hell, she was one of your family members who loves you enuf to encourage you to take some time off and get the help you needed ... I doubt she wants to be the cause of you having to go back there again... (although I really must confess, I really do envy you for being able to do that ... I would just love to be surrounded by folks who are totally supportive, totally "in my corner" and totally focused on my well-being!)
So, once again, welcome home Wagtail ... you are our Conquering Heroine!!!