Need Help Helping Us (Dire)
Posted 09 September 2014 - 04:04 PM
Bead Counting INR. Nice and slow. Took me 14 weeks. I was very lucky in that I had NO symptoms till I got down to the last few beads. Then things exploded. After three months in hell i went back on a softer ssri (zoloft). As soon as I am done with the lorazepam then I will try to wean off the Zoloft. As you can see, patience wins the race.
Posted 09 September 2014 - 04:58 PM
That can not go on forever! Seasons change. Thank God! They maybe last long, but they change.
Out of nowhere, something good will happen. When you least expect it!
Posted 10 September 2014 - 05:50 AM
INR - a dim light is showing in the direction of brighter as days and weeks pass. You mentioned Tramadol -was he off this before perscribed Cymb-Did he taper off the Tramadol ? It has now become a schedule 3 control med because of the dangerous ill effects and withdrawal effects-Tramadol is a very nasty med and one of its worst side effects if you miss a dose or quit is dangerously angry outbursts and yes its a brother to Cymb. I do suggest making healthy green shakes as in Veg -some fruit and add peanut butter -almond milk plus a Whey protein -this is a very healthy way of nurturing your partner and You without him feeling you are controlling--
Posted 10 September 2014 - 08:20 AM
INR, I am no dr and can't swear he can be fixed but there is a good chance that a good psychiatrist greatly improve him. The trick for you is how do you manage to afford this service without insurance. I still think you need to find a local mental health support group and see if there are any state programs that can assist you. If you wish I can try to locate one. Just PM me with what town yoou are in and I would be glad to help. It is never hopeless.
Yes, I had 3 months of hell withdrawal (actually dicontinuance) AFTER I came off the Cymbalta. The body has to learn how to control those neurotransmitters all over again. After coming off the med the withdrawal symptoms can commonly last 6 months and in extreme cases 2 years or more. It needs to be said that the symptoms do improve during that time albeit ssllooooowwlly. There are other meds you can take to help or like many they just tough it out.
Posted 10 September 2014 - 08:28 AM
You don't want to see anyone, just want to be left alone.
Like an animal licking his wounds!
Can't you take a week off anywhere, and let him be by himself?
When you feel bad,it makes it worse when you know that you are making the other feel bad.
I know as I have lived it, very minor compared to you. The guilt can be killing.
To be left alone in those moments makes it less difficult.
Posted 10 September 2014 - 03:28 PM
INR, I think Gail is on to something important here ... I could not stand to have anyone around me when I was in the worst weeks of withdrawal ... my best friend came once a week to check on me, cook me homemade soup, etc... the problem was he wanted to stay for hours ... to "entertain me" he said .... to "take my mind off" how bad I felt ... and actually, what he wanted was my attention to reassure him that I was going to be okay so he wouldn't lose my friendship ... it made me feel a thousand times worse ... because I could only say that I couldnt' give him the friendship and attention he needed because I had zero ... zip ... nada ... to give ... I felt dead inside ... I was so damned thankful that he did come to check on me, but I was also so damn thankful when he left here and I could be alone to work my way through the shit by myself ... like a wounded animal ... cuz that's just what I was ..
I'm going to defer to FH and the other men here on the forum to give us a male perspective on this. I know that my ex husband wanted to be left the hell alone when he was sick ... I'd just take him the broth, juice, tea, whatever he needed, put it beside him kiss him on the forehead, say yell for me if you need me, and leave him alone ... if I tried to "take care of him" any more than that I got a wild animal response ... which made total sense to me, cuz that's how I am...
Posted 10 September 2014 - 04:23 PM
Well for me it was just having her there. There wasn't much she could do for me. I felt better if she was present. No talking or noise She would just set there quietly playing computer games. Every now and then she would reach over and briefly squeeze my hand. Sometimes she would simple look at me and say "I am right here." Those simple things made a big difference to me.
Posted 10 September 2014 - 04:52 PM
Sometimes silence is more powerful than words.
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Posted 10 September 2014 - 08:10 PM
Reached my "quota" of "likes" for the day ... but I "like" what you both said, FH and Renee ... very few people know how to just "be" with someone who's sick, or dying .... most people want to "do" something .... if I could have had a friend like FH's wife around me, it would have been heavenly ... instead, what I did was to ask the Lord's mother, Mary, to come sit by my bed... in my mind's eye she was there next to me, sitting on a little stool, wearing something in a soft brown color, and spinning wool... quietly keeping watch over me ... hallucination maybe, comforting definitely!
Posted 11 September 2014 - 04:18 AM
You are NOT alone, you are NOT crazy. You are safe here with us, you are one of us, this "tribe" of survivors.... :-)
You ARE a beautiful soul, INR....and you are growing and changing so much...just since you've joined us, I've seen so many wonderful changes happening for you.... the sunlight is starting to shine in through your windows....hold on, hang on!
Be at Peace. You are loved and wanted and needed.
Posted 13 September 2014 - 08:13 AM
Do not worry about leaning on us. Many of us have finished our withdrawal and have committed to staying on this site and helping others. When we were suffering there were others on this site who had stayed and were helping us newbies. It also gives us a sense of value, especially when withdrawing, when our veiw of ourselves can be very low. We have been there, we are family, we care.
- gail likes this
Posted 13 September 2014 - 09:41 AM
You are doing the best - just being there. I know how difficult it is to have patience, but this really will improve - it will take some time, but there really is hope!
Does your s.o. have any benzo to take to help "settle down" or anything to help with sleep? I found the benzo to be of great value and don't know what I would have done without it. It helped me to act "somewhat" normal even though I felt like HELL. I would think that a call to the Dr. would help - he can prescribe this over the phone.
You are such a strong person - I wish that I had someone who was "just with me" when I went through the worst. No talking, just being there and being supportive. I live alone and have no family here, so it was a long, sad withdrawal. Now that I am in "discontinuation" it still is not easy, but I can function.
We only want to help you - please keep posting and we will try to offer our best advice!
Love, hugs and Prayers,
Posted 13 September 2014 - 09:51 AM
INR ... ditto to what FH and TFL said! And don't worry about answering every single PM I've sent ... they're just because I'm thinking of you and praying for you, and have had a few thoughts / ideas to be shared privately
You're on track now for a new life ... both for you and for your husband ... it's amazing, isn't it, how much we learn, and how much differently we see things when we start waking up to what these drugs do to us, and realize that there is a life without them ?!
Now, as for your husband ... he's making awesome progress! (And so are you!!)
As for the brain zaps ... oh yeah ... I did that "eye movement / head movement test" he was doing ! Needed to find out how much I could move without setting off a zap ...
Is he taking omega 3 and chelated magnesium? If not, get him started ... especially the omega 3 ... helps with the zaps a lot ...
if he's not taking chelated magnesium, first check the "interactions" info that FH posted elsewhere here ... I'll find the link and put it in this thread for you ... if no interactions with any other meds he's taking, get him on the magnesium as well .... NOTE: here's the link ... https://www.cymbalta...with-some-meds/
Also, multi-vitamin and b complex ...
if he objects, tell him FiveNotions says to "man up and take the vitamins/supplements" ... or I'll be over with my red boxing gloves (there's a story behind them, that I've told here before), to have a "little chat" with him (FH is invited, too!) ... and I'll bring a several of my law school buddies ... the most decorated Vietnam War fighter pilot, a Vietnam Navy helicopter search and rescue pilot, and the captain of a nuclear submarine ... (I'd invite my ex, retired USCG SAR pilot, but I think his current wife has him in "lock down" ).... we will arrive at 0-dark-thirty and get him sorted out right quick ... if he doesn't listen to us, I'll call in "air support" ... the wives of those guys will be over as the "second wave" ... (even though you, too, are a military spouse, you will, of course, have to be sidelined for this type of "assault" ... we don't want collateral damage)
Edited by FiveNotions, 13 September 2014 - 10:00 AM.
- gail likes this
Posted 16 September 2014 - 03:46 PM
hey there INR,
I hear what you're saying in your post ... you're dealing with one side of Cymbalta withdrawal, and he's dealing with the other ... he's in the active/horrid physical part of it ... and you're standing aside, sort of like his shadow...trying to help, but yet not intrude ... and, at the same time, what he's going through ... every little bit of it....it having an effect on you, inside you ... but because he's totally occupied (as he should be, of course) he can't support you ... and you realize he can't, which makes you feel even worse for wanting him to .... and he realizes he can't be supportive of you, which makes him feel even worse ...
oh yeah, that's a bunch of tangled strings of Christmas tree lights for sure!!
I think you're right about needing a therapist/counselor ... one of your very own ... not shared, just for you. There will come a time when the two of you may want/need to go to couple's therapy ... and he's going to need to see his own therapist ... his very own ...
You are the one right now who's in a position to reach out to get your own therapist. Please do so. Another possibility, in addition to therapy, would be for you to go to Al-Anon ... it's for family members, spouses, friends of those dealing with drug and alcohol issues ... granted your husband isn't kicking a recreational drug habit, he's still kicking a drug ... that has made him addicted to it ... all the pain, with none of the fun.
Joining this forum was your first step forward, out of the tangle, towards clarity. And it's obvious how much difference this has made in you, for you, just by what I'm reading in your posts.
Getting your own therapist will be your second step forward. You are ready for this. And it will bring you to a place of even more clarity.
With the clarity, and having your own "advocate" in the therapist, you'll feel better about yourself, your husband and your marriage.
Now, hop to it ! And report back soon!
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