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#1 houseofmiro

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 10:02 AM

Today is day 5 or 6 without having taken any Cymbalta.  

 

So far, the cessation symptoms have been manageable with the help of my partner, my 2 awesome doggies, and my 2 fuzzy cats.  No disrespect towards my 2 fish (and yes, the arc is now closed), but I can't snuggle with them.  

 

I have been using vitamin supplements recommended by the awesome folks here (thank you by the way for the guidance and your patience with me), neo citran, and occasionally a dr prescribed benzo for the times when for no apparent reason (usually right when I wake up) the anxiety says 'hey man, you're not trying to get rid of me are you'.  

 

The anorexia is still here, I was hoping that would abate some, but I understand the nausea probably isn't helping matters.  I know it will get incrementally better over time, and am doing my best not to be impatient.  After all, in some cases fast is slow and slow is fast as my mother was and still is fond of saying.  Time I guess is key.

 

Here is something I was thinking about over the past several weeks that has irked me.  About 2 months ago, maybe a little less or more, I was seeing a doc briefly (who retired sept 1st).  After having been on Cymbalta for 2 months and having given it enough time to have kicked in, I told the doctor how sick the drug was making me.  She said it was just situational and that it would pass off and not to worry overly much about it.  Really!  Really?  Ever want to mess with someone who has mental health issues, tell them it's in their head!  A month later I went to my GP, who reduced me from 60 to 30.  When I finally met up with my new doc (seems a nice fella) and my nurse practitioner, when asked by the doctor how long I had been sick, the nurse got a worried or concerned look on her face when she advised the doc I had been sick, literally from day one on that medication.  So my rant/question is, how many of you (if any of you fine folks read this) have had similar experiences with doctors that seem like the couldn't care less or were just plain dismissive.

 


#2 FiveNotions

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 10:26 AM

Every doc I've had, except 1, since 1997 when I first was put on anti-d's.....has been an asshat, jackass, idiot...or all of these simultaneously...? They DO NOT know anything about these drugs except for the lies they are told by the drug co reps..... We've got lots of posts her with our respective horror stories....

Dismissive is an understatement for how they treat us....

This is one reason I've signed on with the Knox Ricksen law firm.... their goal is to take a huge bite out of Eli Lilly's corporate butt....far more than just personal injury cases on behalf of us as individuals... yes, it's likely that they'll get redress for their clients, meaning money....but it ain't about the money for me.... I want justice at the corporate level for the evil that has been/ is being perpetrated.....

KR got involved because the wife of one of their employees had a run in, a very nasty one, with crapalta withdrawal..... So, it's personal for them.... They aren't in it for the money/ profit.... Yes, they'll get their costs paid....not by any of their clients, but by Lilly.... They're gunning for the company.... :-D

#3 equuswoman

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 10:57 AM

Today is day 5 or 6 without having taken any Cymbalta.  

 

So far, the cessation symptoms have been manageable with the help of my partner, my 2 awesome doggies, and my 2 fuzzy cats.  No disrespect towards my 2 fish (and yes, the arc is now closed), but I can't snuggle with them.  

 

I have been using vitamin supplements recommended by the awesome folks here (thank you by the way for the guidance and your patience with me), neo citran, and occasionally a dr prescribed benzo for the times when for no apparent reason (usually right when I wake up) the anxiety says 'hey man, you're not trying to get rid of me are you'.  

 

The anorexia is still here, I was hoping that would abate some, but I understand the nausea probably isn't helping matters.  I know it will get incrementally better over time, and am doing my best not to be impatient.  After all, in some cases fast is slow and slow is fast as my mother was and still is fond of saying.  Time I guess is key.

 

Here is something I was thinking about over the past several weeks that has irked me.  About 2 months ago, maybe a little less or more, I was seeing a doc briefly (who retired sept 1st).  After having been on Cymbalta for 2 months and having given it enough time to have kicked in, I told the doctor how sick the drug was making me.  She said it was just situational and that it would pass off and not to worry overly much about it.  Really!  Really?  Ever want to mess with someone who has mental health issues, tell them it's in their head!  A month later I went to my GP, who reduced me from 60 to 30.  When I finally met up with my new doc (seems a nice fella) and my nurse practitioner, when asked by the doctor how long I had been sick, the nurse got a worried or concerned look on her face when she advised the doc I had been sick, literally from day one on that medication.  So my rant/question is, how many of you (if any of you fine folks read this) have had similar experiences with doctors that seem like the couldn't care less or were just plain dismissive.

I wanted OFF the poison and my physicians has NO clue as to how to help me....not really. The directions given me where just so NOT working!

I was so fortunate in that I found this forum and it was here that I learned how to do the bead counting method.

I've been off Cymbalta going on 6 months now and it was pure hell that I journeyed  through...but I made it!

There is hope to get off the poison...if I can do it so can others.

God bless everyone here.

Love from TheEquusWoman :hug:


#4 houseofmiro

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 11:06 AM

Ok out of likes again sorry :P.  

Thank you so much for your kind replies.  This forum has been my touchstone for the past 6 days.  

 

Ms. TheEquusWoman & FN, I am genuinely interested in supporting any organization that would seek to shed light on their so called best practices concerning their clientele(us folks).  Please holler with any updates with reference to the case you mentioned.  I read a previous post likening Docs to mechanics because they're not scientists.  Made me smirk and I thought, wouldn't it be fantastic if the doctors were voluntold to be the human trials for these types of meds?  How can they give accurate recommendations when they're not fully aware of all of the parameters?

 

Bah! Bah I tell you! 


#5 Carleeta

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 11:10 AM

Houseofmiro, your question concerning the doctors is a great one. Yes doctors all have their own opinions on all meds..lol lol...it's truly not funny although it's just true. An excellent doctor will listen to your symptoms and listen to you. It's not only with cymbalta, but any med. They should always ask how the med they give you is working for you and if you have any issues with them. Having said that, you will find doctors who think they know everything about every med, and that's not even possible due to the huge market of meds today.....yes I have a psychiatrist who starting telling me how and what to expect from my back pain....ummmmm.....totally different field from my doctor's who are treating me for this issue....Sometimes you just have to shake your head and go with your gut feeling...

Please keep us posted....

#6 houseofmiro

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 11:33 AM

Thank you Ms. Carleeta,

 

I HAVE found that some docs have reminded me of Lumberg from Office space. (imagine him 'yyyyeah, I'm going to need you to go ahead and take this so I can make you go away') or maybe Mr RedGreen with his duct tape. In any case, I'm almost certain if they had to take and stop these meds themselves, their opinions would change drastically.  

 

Your Psych doc lecturing you on physical symptoms and issues unrelated to his/her field would be like me examining and L.H.C. and saying, yeah, this collider is great but uhhh, the colours on the wires aren't coordinated and since I know about colours, that makes me qualified to have an opinion on a not completely related subject matter.  Like the saying goes, not wrong, just an a-hole.  

*sighs* oh doctors, where and when did you forget what it's like to be on the other side?


#7 houseofmiro

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 05:48 AM

Day 7.

Start my new job today.  Up at 230 and then 430.  Anxiety sucks.  Going to try to eat something....and that isn't happening.  Thank you over active gag reflex. Any suggestions for the day my friends? Could use some encouragement.


#8 FiveNotions

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 11:46 AM

Miro, you're awesome!! Starting a new job ... facing the anxiety ... which is normal for a new job, and made harder by crapalta withdrawal! You'll make it ....we're right here supporting you and rooting for you!

 

Please remind me (crapalta brain today), do you have a benzo for the anxiety? Or, something like clonidine or hydroxyzine?

 

And, just pay attention to what your body/brain is telling you ... if at any point ... any point! ... you start to feel overwhelmed by dealing with the new job and the withdrawal simultaneously ... remember, you have options ... you can go back on a low dose of the crapalta, get stable ... then bead count the rest of the way down ...

 

The point of this is to get off the crap with a minimum of struggle and suffering ... we do not need any more "Cymbalta Martyrs" !! :P

 

Check in after you get home to let us know how your first day went! You can do this ... just focus on one minute/hour at a time ... :)


#9 houseofmiro

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 04:46 PM

Thank you so so so much FiveNotions.  Getting home and reading a positive reply helped seal the deal.  Day started of with me being more nervous than a long tail pole cat in a room full of rocking chairs, and ended(until bed anyway) on a positive note.

 

Home again home again jiggity jog.  Anxiety all but disappeared once I got to work and discovered it was a nice place with decent folk(unlike some others I have tried out since I was laid off a few ago).  Makes a respectable difference when the work environment is a positive one.  But I guess that is the case with most places.

 

Finally got around to picking up some L-triptophane, vitamin e, and (the closest I could find as far as name brand) body calm to add to the omega 3, b12, and iron.

I do have some lorazepam, but have taken them sparingly.  One one day, 2 the next, that sort of thing.   It didn't seem to touch it this morning.  Tried my best to be mindful, but when there is no thought I can say triggered anything, I can only use it on the feelings themselves.   

All of that being said, the zaps haven't been so bad today.  

 

Any suggestions on how to make the best use of the L-trip and magnesium?

Again thank you so much FN.  


#10 Carleeta

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 05:21 PM

House, sounds like you had a very decent day. Getting about with a nice positive attitude, even though it's difficult at this time, does seem to ease some anxiety and sooner or later the days will get better and better. Glad to see you were able to pick up some supplements. .It's still a way of taking care of yourself in a healthy manner.
Keep going forward.....:)

#11 houseofmiro

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 05:40 PM

Thank you thank you thank you Ms. Carleeta!  Though verily rocketh!

As always you're kind and warm words as well as FN's have really helped.  It's always surprising that just a few words can truly make a difference in a persons life.  Just a few words.  

And hey. every day I'm above ground is a good one in my books.  

My hope for tonight is with the knowledge of the work environment being not so scary,  that I will be able to make it past 4am sleeping.  If not, nothing I can do about it.  Change is never easy for folks like us, but in one week this community has made a difference.

Thank you so much really, I can only say it in so many ways before I sound like a parrot(and yes I know they're very intelligent).


#12 houseofmiro

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Posted 12 October 2014 - 06:43 AM

Took a break from posting to focus on getting better and just hanging in there.  Today is day 17.  Zaps are getting better every day.  Anxiety seems to have been (as has always been the case) localized to around my menses(most of the time anyway).  There have been  several of evenings sleep interrupted by panic and by nightmares (my subconscious finally found something that scared the bejeezus out of me), but I got through it.  I'm still getting through it.  Each day is a tiny little bit better than the day before.  And I mean tiny, but I will take it.  Mind you my furry babies and my partner have been amazing through it all.  Giving me something to hang onto during the hurricane.

 

Have been able to introduce some solids back into my diet which is nice.  Nothing more frustrating than having my partner make a beautiful dinner and just looking at it like an insurmountable peak.  Psych docs appt thursday.  

Just wanted to touch base with you fine folks and say thank you again.

 

Work has been decent.  Seem like a good bunch of people and my team is coming together cohesively, and bringing money in after having been laid off will no doubt also help alleviate some of the anxiety symptoms.  Any way I guess the point is I like it well enough there so that will help.  Shifts are kind of wonky, but I'm working and thousands aren't and I am grateful for it.  

 

All that being said, the struggle has been very real, but as my mother has always said, time will pass anyway, try to use it well and productively.  It is after all one of the only things we as people can't buy more of.

 

Thank you everyone for being such an amazing support group.  More updates will come.  Any and all questions or discussion is welcome.  Hope everyone is ok.

Cheers

 

Miro


#13 FiveNotions

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Posted 12 October 2014 - 08:59 AM

Oh, Miro, you've put a huge smile on my face!

 

That's such a long list of positives, and for the few negatives, you've got a positive attitude! You get the "Carleeta yiiiiiippeee" award for the day !! :D


#14 houseofmiro

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Posted 12 October 2014 - 06:27 PM

Howdy ho there FN,

 

Thank you for the encouraging words, it really helps.  Every little bit does.  This community and everyone in it has really been a big part of making this transition a lot easier than it might otherwise have been.  The vitamin supplements (especially the Omega 3 and B12 shots) have been a large help.  

 

As horrid as the physical and psychological aspects of cessation have been, I feel like a fog has been lifted from my thoughts.  I should add that the more sleep I am able to get, the better I feel, but I would imagine thats a given in most situations. 

 

I have tomorrow off, and if I wake in the middle of the night I will take something if needed and get as much quality sleep as I am able, sleep being the bodies natural weapon and all that jazz.  

 

I've avoided driving as much as possible, not so much for the anxious reasons (unless there is snow, and yes being a Canuck thats a dite challenging for a big part of the year), but because I'm still getting some vertigo and zaps, and when sleep is broken....well I would never dare put anyone's life in danger because I thought I was ok.  Public transit isn't so bad in my city.  Music, working and staying busy when I'm awake helps.  Means I don't have the opportunity to latch on any one specific thought and cycle (if that makes sense).

Any hoo, sorry to ramble, thanks again FN.

How've you been?


#15 FiveNotions

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Posted 12 October 2014 - 07:14 PM

Miro, you're progressing really well, and certainly faster than I did! I think my age had an awful lot to do with it (60 when I went cold turkey, turned 61 during my 8th month off) and the fact that I was in lousy physical condition (zero exercise in years) ... basically, I was / still am a lump of gello ... ;)

but, I'm now halfway through my 11th month off ... and the hard, hard withdrawal is well behind me ... I'd say that life is pretty damned wonderful compared to where I was even a few months ago .... my current challenge is getting myself back to work (I was a research librarian before withdrawal hit, had left my job planning to take 4 or 5 months off to travel, read, relax and then find a new job ... hahahahah ... no way I could work while in withdrawal) ... :blink:

so, I hadn't worked in about 16 months, until just recently, when I got a 2 day a week gig as a research assistant and "walk around campus" companion for a blind PhD student ... and it is just about killing me physically ... I work usually on Tues and Friday ... and in between, I have "relapse days" where I basically have to stay in bed or on the sofa ...

I'm also about to start another job, as a telecommute (from home on my sofa) cataloging librarian. That's 40 hours a week, for 8 weeks ... gonna' be a real challenge, but I had to live off my savings during withdrawal, and I've used that all up, so being able to pay the rent is a huge inspiration :P

In addition to the relapse days from re-learning how to be active "out there" in the world, the only lingering symptoms I have are low level anxiety that once in a while "explodes" (clonidine works great for me), as well as occasional "sweats," optic neuritis, and some cognitive issues when I get over tired. And all those things continue to fade, every so gradually, as more time goes by ..

 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it .... :)


#16 brzghoff

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Posted 13 October 2014 - 07:02 AM

miro,

 

thanks for all your updates. your progress is amazing. you are so right about the sleep. its the one thing i have the hardest time getting since coming off the C, but getting good sleep is key to our recovery. with a good night's rest anxiety doesn't have a chance! 

 

 

I'm also about to start another job, as a telecommute (from home on my sofa) cataloging librarian. That's 40 hours a week, for 8 weeks ... gonna' be a real challenge, but I had to live off my savings during withdrawal, and I've used that all up, so being able to pay the rent is a huge inspiration :P

 

 

FN, 

 

that is awesome, i didn't know it was 40 hrs !!!

 

that sounds similar to what i want - a temp/telecommute research gig. 


#17 houseofmiro

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Posted 16 October 2014 - 10:50 AM

Howdy all, today is day 21.  Still dealing with nausea, dizziness, vertigo, and zaps, but I can make it another 5-8 weeks when I know (after having read extensively online) that there will be more good than bad days.  Time will pass anyway, at least I know I'm doing something positive for my physical well being(which I am sure will help my mental state as well), and that helps.

 

Thank you FN and brzghoff, the encouragement is muchly appreciated.  

 

FN, thats awesome that you were able to find a work from home job! I am truly envious haha.  Prior to getting laid off end of June, I had been working from my home office for about 3.5 years and it helped a good deal.  It meant that on the bad days, no one really had to know that there was a wet faced, runny nosed worker, so super congrats on that front.  Thats a huge victory.  GoooOooooOOOooo FN!(best online impression of a cheerleader I can manage sorry).  


#18 houseofmiro

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Posted 17 October 2014 - 07:13 AM

Day 22

Slept until 330a, and then snagged another couple of hours from 4 or 430 645ish.  Docs appt yesterday was interesting.  He seems a nice enough fella my new doc, but he tried to shove a variety of new meds on me yesterday.  To which I responded that I felt that all medical professionals that prescribe medications should have to go on them for a period of 6 months and then come off of them in the same manner they recommend their patients to do so, they laughed, I guess they thought I was joking, so I rolled with it and chuckled a bit.  

I explained, I am not ready to accept a new or another medication having had such a horrid experience with the crapbalta, and that I am not sure I ever want another psych med ever again that i HAVE to take to avoid getting sick.  So of course I got the standard, re eval in 10 days with my nurse practitioner/councillor/therapist.  I would like to add, the doc seemed very surprised that I had educated myself concerning the medical interactions and asked for all the pertinent information for the meds he was recommending I take.  Mind you he was pleased, but I felt like someone's pet who had performed admirably in front of company.  

 

So all of that being said, yesterday was a challenging day filled with triggers.  It wasn't an easy day, but I lived through it.  One day at a time.

 

Day by day.


#19 houseofmiro

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Posted 28 October 2014 - 09:13 AM

Day 33.

Was feeling ok up until my period started and have had the worst anxiety since then(several days).  Sleep has still been something of an issue.  I'm pretty durned tired.  Last night took sleep med, up at 3, took gravel slept until 9 and then as usual, awoke with anxiety attack.  Fortunately today s my day off and I was able to lay down with my dog for an hour to wait it out.  I'm seriously considering taking one of the medications the doctor recommended but would really really appreciate some feedback from you all before I do as I am not really sure.  Any advice would be appreciated.  I've read a little about Seroquel, but the side effects sounds almost as terrifying as what it's supposed to be preventing.*edit for spelling*


#20 TryinginFL

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Posted 28 October 2014 - 09:26 AM

miro,

 

Thanks so much for all your updates.  I agree about the sleep issue - that and anxiety continue for some time, I'm sorry to say.  I am just now having some normal nites and have little anxiety after 10 months off the crap.  I am a cold turkey survivor as well, but considerably older than you.

 

Be careful whatever meds your Dr. wants to add - I never took any others while going through the withdrawal.  I already had Alprazolam (Xanax) and Hydrocodone due to arthritis and fibro.  I have very little anxiety at this point and the sleep issues are not as much of a problem.  Just remember that your Dr. only wants to treat the symptoms - he has never gone through withdrawal and hasn't a clue what it's all about.  (And remember - then you will have another drug you will want to come of!)

 

Hang in there  -  it WILL get better and you CAN do it!!

 

Be kind to yourself and get as much rest as possible :)

 

Liz


#21 houseofmiro

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Posted 28 October 2014 - 09:34 AM

Thanks TFL,

I guess I need to remember that it's hopping out of the frying pan and into the fire.  Perhaps I will see if doc will increase sleep med from 1 to 1-2 tabs nightly.  At least until april when a big trigger is approaching(renegotiating mortgage).  I can deal with the anxiety during the day, but more sleep = feel better.  Sorry if I'm not making much sense today.  Thank you for the support, it really does mean a lot to me.





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