16 replies to this topic

[Flossy]

I've been coming off cymbalta for 4 months and was down to 45mg for 6 weeks and still unable to adjust to the dose so I went back up to 60 to taper slowly using bead counting, however going back up has caused me a lot of grief, I'm feeling very depressed, angry and having scary overwhelming thoughts. I would never take my life, however I'm having overwhelming feelings that I will even though I know I won't! Has anyone else had these symptoms on this shithouse drug? I'm calling my dr for an urgent appt in the morning! I am so so so so over this FU&@ED up drug!!!!!!!!!!!

[brzghoff]

Flossy, what you are feeling is not uncommon. very scary - but there are many cases of people who have those side effects/feelings while getting cymbalta into their system, as well as when reducing it/coming off - but don't act on them. 

 

thank yourself for doing the right thing and getting that appoint asap!

 

also, is there someone with whom you feel safe sharing your fears, however irrational you may think they may be and knowing that you won't act on them? you mentioned  the idea of taking your life as "...overwhelming feelings that i will even though i know i won't!". just having someone who could help you eliminate access to things that would make it easier to take your life would go a long way to reduce your anxiety. i had similar feelings at one time. i had my husband get rid of a gun he had, even though it was a small bolt action rifle. he had already disabled it by hiding the bolt, but just knowing it was out of the house reduce my fear substantially. 

 

if you don't already have a therapist, i recommend getting one. i dont know how australian healthcare might cover it - but even if you have to pay out of pocket it is an invaluable investment in your well being. 

 

keep us posted

[FiveNotions]

Flossy, hang in there! Excellent move on the urgent doc appointment, and definitely Brzghoff's advice about everything, especially getting a therapist, is solid.
 
Please remind us, when did you go back up to the 60 mg? And did you experience these thoughts while on the crapalta before withdrawal, or at any time during your first stage of withdrawal (before going back up) ?
 
Here are two threads started by ThisMoment ... there's a lot of his excellent wisdom posted throughout, as well as posts from a lot of us who've had these sorts of thoughts ...  maybe you'll find something useful in there to hold on to ...

https://www.cymbalta...ur-head-updated

https://www.cymbalta...k-about-suicide
 
Remember, the thoughts aren't you ... they are shadows, trying to lure you into the shadow world ... gently ignore them ... don't follow them ...

Keep talking to us, keep posting, as you move through this. Try to find one friend or family member who's physically near to you and can get to you if needed, or you to them.

And, if at any point you feel yourself getting too close to the edge, call 911. Seriously.

We love you, and we're here for you! Hang in there! This is a phase, it's not permanent. A shadow passing over the sun, not the sun falling out of the sky.

[DoneWithCrap]

Sorry you are going through this Flossy.

Last month I had to go back up on my dose because I had tapered too fast. I was feeling very depressed and had constant thoughts of suicide. I was ready to check myself into the hospital, but having no doctor, I couldn't do that as you need a doctor to admit you.
I stayed at the higher dose for 2 weeks and then started tapering at a much slower rate. I explained to my husband how I was feeling and told him the only thing I could do at the time was to play games in my iPad to quiet the chatter in my head and to distract me. He was very understanding and hasn't complained about my games or over sleeping since then. I'm feeling much less suicidal now and I'm starting to do more things that I enjoy. Not much just one thing a day but it is it helps me feel less useless.

Please hang in there. If you feel that these thoughts are getting too powerful, CALL A HOTLINE OR GO TO THE ER!
You have been through so much, you are a survivor!

[Carleeta]

Flossy, I agree with everyone here. There are times with medications, increase and decrease where these thoughts will appear. As others have stated, have items removed from your home, call your doctor (as you have done), and by all means if you need get to an er. One good thing is your mind is also telling you 'you won't act on it'..Although, it sounds like you have the 'fear' of the thoughts....this is common.

Please keep us posted...

[Flossy]

Thanks all for the reassurance, it actually helps a lot. I haven't ever had these feelings before even when on my full original dose of 180! I am very teary ( very unlike me) and I absolutely agree that distractions really help. I have an amazing husband, I call him my rock, thank god for him. I feel very surrounded by love and care by my family, however still finding these feelings terrifying. I have incredible friends too but am finding it hard to be around them at the moment as I feel really sensitive to what they say and don't feel I have anything to offer friendships at the moment. I know that is in my head as they are so supportive, but I can't help feeling that way. I went back up from 45 to 60 2 weeks ago and starting to taper today. Hopeful that as I taper these feelings will ease.

[Flossy]

Ps: I have benzos that I can take when needed, do you all think they could help? Or make the problem worse?

[TryinginFL]

Hi Flossy!

 

Yes, the benzos will be of great help as you go through this - that anxiety really sneaks up and can be extremely debilitating!

 

Please keep us posted!  

[Flossy]

Thanks! Knowledge is definitely powerful at the moment! )

[Carleeta]

Flossy, yes the benzos, are good to have when your Anxiety rises. As tryinginfl mentioned it could pop up now and then.

We are here to support you as much as you need.

[FiveNotions]

Flossy, are you sure you're stable enuf at the 60 yet to start tapering? Just remember, the slower the better. Yes, you want off the poison asap .... but there's a limit to how much your brain and body can adjust to ... just watch / feel yourself carefully, and at any time you start to feel symptoms that are more than you can easily handle, stop and rest for a while at whatever point you're at ...

 

I'm concerned that these troubling thoughts you're having are an indication that you're not stable at 60 mg yet ...

[Flossy]

And I'm really scared that if I don't get off this crap that I'll get worse! I honestly never in a million years realized how powerful this drug could be over my mind. Is frightening and very unpredictable! I have my psychiatrist callin me at lunch time today (I'm in Australia) I'm really hoping she will shed some light. I just can't continue on like this, I am even open to going into hospital to go off really fast, which says a lot as I despise hospitals. Your thoughts?

[Carleeta]

Flossy, you do what is best for you. As we are all different, we all have our limits. You know yourself the best and what your body is telling you. Follow what you feel is right and the best for you.

Please let us know what your physician suggests...

Take care of yourself...

[FiveNotions]

If Fishinghat and ThisMoment were here, Flossy, they'd also both warn you about getting off really fast ... it's a recipe for disaster for anyone who's sensitive to this drug ... as you clearly are ..

 

Dr. Shipko and others recommend the 10 % taper, and often suggest a 5% taper ... getting off too fast is like cold turkey ... the brain goes absolutely haywire from the rapid drop in serotonin ... and serotonin is one of the key, if not the key neurotransmitter for the CNS ... and the CNS regulates every single major bodily function ...

 

For example, our member EquusWoman had to taper at just one bead a day, and sometimes wait a couple/few days at certain levels before continuing on with the one bead taper ...

 

I'm with Carleeta ... just hang on and talk to your doc, and then let us know what you learned, decided, were recommended to do, etc.... tell her/him absolutely everything you're feeling ... the thoughts, all physical symptoms, etc....

 

We're pulling for you, you're going to get off this, win the battle ... crapalta is not going to beat you ...

[Flossy]

I have an appt with an addiction specialist on wed 2 hours away! Yay! Hopeful for some help!

[brzghoff]

I have an appt with an addiction specialist on wed 2 hours away! Yay! Hopeful for some help!

 

 

wonderful! that will be very interesting to hear advice and recommendations from an addictions specialist's point of view. please keep us posted

[FiveNotions]

Way to go, Flossy !