8 replies to this topic

[gettingoffpoison]

I’m feeling

 

Very tired in these last beads (10), I wake up not feeling rested; I have a coffee after breakfast and start feeling better. Some days I need to have a nap, and anxiety increases in the afternoon. I’m experiencing now a days now a strong loss of stamina, very “un-productive”. I quitted smoking two months ago… that ended a kind of maniac face of the withdrawal into a more stable reality but I feel it a little bit more towards feeling low.

 

I´ve had a couple of bad days- Hope this passes…  :/

 

I´ve had the habit of drinking coffee for years, I usually only have one cup a day, and I´m considering quitting, have anyone done this in the process of withdrawal?

[Ramona80]

I quit about a week into withdrawal last spring. The anxiety had gotten so high, I decided to drop the caffeine. I did it over a few days. To be honest, I'm not sure if it helped or not, I was in such a bad state and had so many things going on from withdrawal. I'm glad I'm off it now though, because I don't think caffeine would be benefiting me now at all.

 

If you do quit, I'd recommend tapering off it, as I think that can reduce the likelihood of caffeine withdrawal (including the headaches). 

Good luck to you in getting off the last beads! I hope there are better days coming soon for you!

[FiveNotions]

Getting off the caffeine is probably a good idea, but, as Ramona says, do it gradually ... as the caffeine addiction and quitting cold turkey is just another slam for your body to take ... I did quit caffeine cold turkey, but that was just because I was vomiting so frequently, couldn't keep any foods / liquids down other than ginger tea and chicken broth (sometimes) ... also had to quit smoking because that made me vomit ...

 

However, GOP, the tiredness is perfectly "normal" for where you are in the process ... your brain and body are tired ...they're using a tremendous amount of energy to heal / re-wire ... you need to take a lot of naps, sleep as much as possible ...

 

The tired phase also passes ... so does the anxiety ... recovery is one phase after another ... sometimes they repeat themselves ... but the symptoms fade ... sometimes the process is described as "windows and waves" ... "windows" of clarity / feeling good ... followed by a "wave" of feeling crappy ...

 

There's no reason why you couldn't just stay at the dose level / # of beads where you are right now until you start feeling better ... then start back with the bead counting ... the slower you wean, the less likely you are to suffer permanent / long-term nervous system damage ...

 

Hang in there !!

[gail]

GOF

During withdrawa!, I switched to decaf. One cup in am and one in afternoon. The anxiety was real bad. I did not quit, It was a part of my routine that I kept. I developed daily routines not to go haywire.

Now I mix both. If it makes you feel better, I wonder why you should give it up. Withdrawal is hard enough without adding more. And you quit smoking, wow! You are one strong person!

[gettingoffpoison]

I´m worried, because lately, I have started to feel increasingly depressed (for the last 2 weeks) and also to have suicidal thoughts (not planning to do it, I mean just thinking “I’m so tired of all of this, I would like to die”).

 

 

I have been tapering off for more than a year.  Currently I´m having only 11 beads. Since my reducing pace has been extremely slow I wonder what is happening. I also have to mention to put this in perspective that I have a health condition which is very frustrating and even thought I have tried to address it, I can only control it better with lots of effort. Feeling depressed I realize I makes me not take care of myself as I should, but then I think what’s the point anyway… pfff

 

Some days are normal, some days are kind of maniac and other with a lot of anxiety and depression.

 

 

Anyway… I feel I need to vent today, thank you. Lately I´ve been thinking I´m just running in circles…

[fishinghat]

Hi GOP

 

Well I can understand the frustration given the long term medical condition and withdrawal at the same time. For many of us that suffer with anxiety we often refer to depression (including suicidal ideation) as opposite sides of the same coin. It is typical for me and many others to rebound into this state after some extreme bout of anxiety (eg. withdrawal). Usually things level out after a couple weeks, although in your case probably longer given you are fighting a second health issue.

 

HAVING SAID THAT, suicidal ideation should not be ignored. I would definitely share this with your psychiatrist and/or therapist. They may be able to help.

[Carleeta]

GOP, vent as often as you want. We are here to listen and offer our suggestions and experiences. Let me first say you have come a long way with reducing your beads and I commend you.   As we all know this is not any easy process. Yes, as Fishinghat has stated, there are two sides to this coin, and the depression and/or anxiety will pop back up.  Since you do have another health issue, it's absolutely normal to be shifting back and forth with a positive road and then a negative road.  Under these conditions its absolutely understandable to have these deep depression feelings.  The suicidal thoughts, at this time, seem to be just thoughts  and also understandable.  If these suicidal thoughts seem to be coming on more frequently than please contact your physician, whether it be your psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or even medical primary care physician.  As Fishinghat stated these suicidal thoughts should not be ignored.  Please keep us informed as how you are doing.  We are here for you at any time.

[gettingoffpoison]

I´m really shocked, all this week was awful… and the last two days where unbearable.  You know when all day long all you feel is like a horrible sensation that everything is lost, that there is no hope, that you can’t see anybody like this, etc.

 

Also the feelings, I experienced an enormous rage against my father. I couldn’t cross word with him.

 

I got so worried, because of this and because of the suicidal ideation that today I went up from 11 beads to 20.

 

I´m now feeling better. I´m so amazed of how reality changes. It also makes me feel so confused… You know… what’s real?

 

By the way, interesting thing… I also went back to 20 beads after a bad dream I had that “a lady treated my brain carelessly”

  

Thank you Carleeta, FH, Gail, Ramona, FN

[TryinginFL]

Hi GOP,

 

I'm sorry that you have been having such a miserable time.

 

I remember the rage very well - I went off at a guard ini a gated community!

 

I suggest that you stay at 20 beads if that is where you are comfortable - even a little more if you need to.  There is no time line here and unfortunately patience is the name of the game. Please stay at the dosage where you are most comfortable  -  possibly 3 or 4 weeks to give yourself enough time before you reduce again.

 

We have one member here who could only remove 1 bead a day and if that's what you need to do, it's OK!  Take as long as you need.  You want to feel better!

 

I wish you the best and please keep us posted!