Hey there gettingoffpoison
Some interesting thoughts you have.
I have a friend who is 82 years old and her husband suffered from depression. I have asked her some of these questions hoping for some insight as to help me deal with my depression as he was never treated but successfully lived his life. The qualifier there was that she was behind him every step of the way.
She says "Well it was my job to cheer him up and when things were really bad I would get out there and help him with his chores" (they were a farming family). As long as she could get him moving then he would get out of his funk. In the winter was hard as we have so much snow and short daylight hours (I live in the north part of the Canadian prairies).
I have been completely off the crap for 2 1/2 years now and the depression is the hardest part. My pdoc will not put me on any ssri or snri antidepressants, not that I would take them anyway, and I struggle with day to day living. I told my therapist the other day that if I have no life then what's the point of living. She didn't take that very well and basically told me to stop thinking about my illness and concentrate on what I am good at. She makes it sound easy but when you wake up in the morning feeling like you can barely drag yourself out of bed you know it isn't easy at all.
I think the natural evolution of depression is that it is waves. Sometimes you feel fine and sometimes you don't. Those who get the worst depression sometimes don't make it (I have known too many of those).
I like your comment --about "that" which we perceive is above our ability to cope with.
I too can so relate to this as I have had a number of things happen in my life which felt like they were above my ability to cope with
-the loss of my grandmother when I was 15
-the breakdown of my marriage
-the loss of my mother who was also my best friend
-the loss of my daughter who was my only child
-the mental anguish I went through when rapidly tapering off the crap to keep me from taking my own life
I guess the old saying is true "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
I don't feel stronger but I have survived so far although sometimes it doesn't feel like much of a life.
Take care of you and be well
Nancy