Well my first ever post, not really sure what to say.. Lol!
I've been on all sorts of medication for Anxiety and Bipolar over the last 10 years. I found that they usually only work for the first few months if that. It honestly feels like you're going around in circles. I've been on Cymbalta since before having my second child, just over two years ago. Started at 30mg and ended up at 120mg a day.
I stopped taking it because I felt like a zombie, I wasn't myself. I wasn't happy, just felt weird.. like I wasn't human. I slept constantly. I'd go to bed at 10pm and sleep until 3pm the next day then still be tired. My bed was my happy place, I would lay in it most of the day doing nothing because I felt comfortable. I didn't want to go out anywhere, I didn't want to take the kids to school. My partner was starting to feel the pressure too.
Getting off it was one of the hardest things. I've tried since I was on it for two months. I always relapsed and ended up lashing out at everyone and everything. I finally feel like I'm strong enough to fully quit now.. So far so good
To be honest, when I was taking it, I felt good. I wasn't as angry or hypo as I was before, but it didn't really help with the "depressing" side of it. Since I've stopped taking it, 5 days ago I've been less depressed. I was warned about the suicide thoughts and likely ending up in a psych ward (which hasn't happened..yet) so I'm pretty happy with that. Haha!
I feel pretty happy with myself, although I've snapped a few times. My withdrawal symptoms so far are hot flushes, cramping and brain zaps. Occasionally I get irritated, but nothing compared to what I did even when taking the medication.
If I could go back and find another way of dealing with it, other than medication I would.
I guess all i can really say is, never give up, giving up..