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[SadSarah]

Hello,

I recently started weaning of cymbalta. I was taking 60mg everyday for about two years. Before that, I had been on a few different anti-depressants for my panic disorder. I have had anxiety problems since I was 16 (now 25) I have been through alot of ups and downs that come with having a panic disorder. However, the last three years I have been well. So, I decided since I am (or was) stable, happy, anxiety free, etc. I would come off the cymbalta. I did not want to be taking anti-depressants my whole life. What a freaking disaster this has been. I went down to 30 mg. everyday, and now 30mg every other day. I have never been so miserable, sick, unhappy, in my life (compared to even my worst times of depression and anxiety problems) When I was on cymbalta, I had some minor side effects. Stomach aches here and there, sometimes agigtated but I never thought that coming off of this drug would be so horrific. All of my withdrawl symptoms have come on strong since I have started taking this medication every other day. I wake up exactly at 5:00am bc my body knows it needs the medication, like a ticking time bomb. My body loses control the days I don't take it. The further along in the day the worse it gets! My side effects include: this WEIRD feeling I get when I turn my head as if my eyes arent moving with me, I CRY FOR NO REASON, terrible/vivid nightmares and dreams, nausea, diaherra, shakey/twitchy (even tho I'm not shaking) and restlessness, I eat to comfort myself and have now gained 6lbs so far.
The days I don't take it, by the end of the day, I am so miserable and unhappy and I don't know who I am anymore. I find myself not able to sleep bc I wake up in the middle of the night either with bad dreams, or this weird head feeling I get that I can't explain. All I know is that it hurts and makes me dizzy and nauseated. Worst yet, I no longer have healthcare, so seeing my MD is costly. So I can't refill my prescriptions to try and wean off longer bc it is to exspensive! I only have a few more 30mgs left and I am so scared! What will happen when I can't take it at all anymore?