68 replies to this topic

[nursedeborah]

O.k. people I got up to take my son to work and my head feels almost like my head it is full...I can not explain it. Even having my glasses on drives me crazy. I keep spelling thing backwards even worst than normal. I went to the http://www.anxietyonline.org.au/ site and I could not stay focused to even read the thing you have to agree to(i forgot what is called) I tried eating and had some tea. I have so much I want to do today but maybe I will just take a little nap first.....Anyone else have this going on>>>


Candy

Candy,
Trust me your not having anything that is not what I had, or still have.
This really is hard to do, and I have been doing this since Aug 31!

I just want all the things that have changed in my life, and in me to
go away, and for me to just get back to normal. I ended up with
some phobia's because of this drug, and what it did to me mentally.

I really am angry at what has gone down for all of us that have taken
this crap. I am afraid it's done more damage than we really know from
the new stuff that is coming out about it.

Who knows could just be me, and my crazy thinking, it's not so straight
all the time either.

Anyone have this problem? Doubt what your thinking?


Debbie

[cmonk]

I think I need to up mgs. I have not been counting the little ball. I just eyeballed it. Does anyone know how many little ball are in 15mg? I have read the other post but I still could not figure it out. I am having a bad day.

[nursedeborah]

I think I need to up mgs. I have not been counting the little ball. I just eyeballed it. Does anyone know how many little ball are in 15mg? I have read the other post but I still could not figure it out. I am having a bad day.

Cmomk,
here you go with the formula

20 mg = 180 beads
10 mg = 90 beads
5 mg = 45 beads
1 mg = 9 beads.

So sorry your having a bad day. This will happen, it can be a few days, a week or just
a day. One just never knows with this this crap, and how it affected everyone as we
are alll different.

I happen to be one of the ones that are really still having a hard time, no matter what
I do. It will be fine one second, and horrible the next. I just never know what to expect.

Take care, but don't ever give up, I reduse to do so. Also remember this will keep happening
as we go through the withdrawl processs, but it won't last all our lives, hopefully!

Debbie

[cmonk]

Thanks Debbie,

It worked out to be 130 balls for 15mg. I am about to get out all my stuff and get the pills ready. I am not sure why I could not figure that out before. I wish I did not have up my mg but I do not want to feel this crappy. I almost feel bad cause my side effects are not as bad as others. Yet I still complain about it......I am just glad y'all put up with me.....THANKS AGAIN.


Candy

[nursedeborah]

Thanks Debbie,

It worked out to be 130 balls for 15mg. I am about to get out all my stuff and get the pills ready. I am not sure why I could not figure that out before. I wish I did not have up my mg but I do not want to feel this crappy. I almost feel bad cause my side effects are not as bad as others. Yet I still complain about it......I am just glad y'all put up with me.....THANKS AGAIN.


Candy

Candy,
No it's not 130 balls for 15 mg! iF 30 MG = 270
15 MG = 135

Just don't want you to go down more quicly that you should.

30 mg = 270 beads
20 mg = 180 beads
15 mg = 135 beads
10 mg = 90 beads
5 mg = 45 beads
1 mg = 9 beads

Debbie

[cmonk]

Thanks, I must be brain dead. I was thinking why would I go back to 15 mg in stead of trying 10 mg first. I took 1/2 of a .5mg of Xanax cause I hate taking it and the full strength puts me out and so far nothing. I will take the other half after dinner. I tried to keep my self busy by cooking. I made Marie Callender's Potato Cheese Soup. It turned out really good. Just in case I made a stew. I peeled so many potatoes today but I think it helped me. Now all I have to do is make my corn bread!!!! :p

Candy

[Junior]

What time is dinner? Wait... we are in different time zones... Aussie is ahead.. hmmm... can I pop over for a very different breakfast? :-p

Junior

[MaureenV]

Junior because w'ere quite a few hours ahead, we might just make it in time for dinner. Long as they've got some leftovers.

[Junior]

They better have!

So...what time is our flight? =D

Junior

[MaureenV]

We can't leave till 9.00 sharp on Saturday morning, so let's hope the leftovers are refrigerated.

Reach Dallas about 2p.m after 22 hours in the air. Clever eh?


Then, according to google maps there's a local airport called Grayson county airport, which is almost walking distance - tricky with a suitcase perhaps.

Then we leave again at 7.30p.m. on the Sunday, (excess baggage rates may apply to humans who ate too much), getting home on Tuesday first thing, just in time for work.



Having each spent more than $1800 on the airfares, I think we need to wait for kind offers of accommodation. Further expenditure would be flippant.


I have the grug books for the flight.


Maureen.

[Junior]

"I have the grug books for the flight."

hahahahahhaahhahahahaahaa I LOVE it!!!!

---------
"Reach Dallas about 2p.m after 22 hours in the air. Clever eh?"

So who DID shoot JR???
---------

"Then we leave again at 7.30p.m. on the Sunday, (excess baggage rates may apply to humans who ate too much), getting home on Tuesday first thing, just in time for work."

Ok..that's scary. I might have to pay excess baggage fees *looks right, looks left*

---------

This dinner had better be worth it. It's turning out to be a very expensive one!!!

Junior

[cmonk]

Well come on get it while it is piping hot...Maureen you really did your home work here. I live in the boonies. Dress warm it is in the 30's to 60's here....LOL



Candy

[MaureenV]

Well come on get it while it is piping hot...Maureen you really did your home work here. I live in the boonies. Dress warm it is in the 30's to 60's here....LOL



Candy

HI Candy, glad we gave you a laugh.

Amazing what you can look up on the internet. Yes I did also look up the weather and nearly changed my mind, although given we've broken weather records from more than a century ago with our November heat (and it's not even summer) and nice brisk day might be nice.

It's in the 30s here too, but given we're in metric it takes on a slightly different meaning. :) I must admit I miss the old reaching 100F. 38.2 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

What are the boonies? I know it means 'boondocks' but all I know about boondocks is what I've heard in American pop songs.


cheers, Maureen.

[cmonk]

Well come on get it while it is piping hot...Maureen you really did your home work here. I live in the boonies. Dress warm it is in the 30's to 60's here....LOL



Candy

HI Candy, glad we gave you a laugh.

Amazing what you can look up on the internet. Yes I did also look up the weather and nearly changed my mind, although given we've broken weather records from more than a century ago with our November heat (and it's not even summer) and nice brisk day might be nice.

It's in the 30s here too, but given we're in metric it takes on a slightly different meaning. :) I must admit I miss the old reaching 100F. 38.2 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

What are the boonies? I know it means 'boondocks' but all I know about boondocks is what I've heard in American pop songs.


cheers, Maureen.

Maureen,

The boonies means in the middle of nowhere. I grew up in a big city in California. Here it is population 1500. Where people burn their leaves and you wave at everyone. I have been here for 6 years.I would love to go to Australia to visit. Cooking helps me get my mind off what I am going through if I can get myself in the kitchen...I love coming here people understand much better here. On a good note I have told a friend some of what I have been going through and a good friend of hers went to the Dr. and they wanted to put her on this crap and she told her what I have been going through and she is not going to take it now!!!!!!!wooooohooooo.
Thanks again for being here to talk to!!!

Candy
.

[cmonk]

I am getting a little nervous about going to Calif for thanksgiving. It is one thing to be in the comfort of my own home and be crazy it is different being around a lot of friends and family. My brother is a jerk and is very jealous of me.( I WISH HE COULD WALK A WEEK OR BETTER YET A YEAR IN MY SHOES)He thinks my Mom loves me and my kids more...It is true but only because I am not mean to them and he is sometimes. We both work for the my dads trucking co and he makes 5 times more then me and has lots more perks. He is also married. I am divorced.He goes around saying I am a loser and I am lazy.In my family you have to be tough.He makes jokes of my weight and will say I am ugly. He looks a lot like me. One small thing and they make fun of you for years.Thank god I am staying with my sister. I love her her husband and her kids and grandkids. I am just more sensitive right now and do not want to look stupid in front of everyone. I am also seeing some of my friends I do not want them to think I am crazy. I am going to try taking Vitality Gold for women. I is supposed to help. Has anyone ever tried it. I have a few times and just could not stay with it. I have a couple of boxes(long story) I just took some so I will see how it goes........By the way my bro has gained wt and I have come up with some pretty good jokes for him....I am just not that mean..

Candy

[nursedeborah]

Candy,
I know what you mean about being crazy in your own house, vs having
to be around other people. Add one's like your brother! I too will be going
a couple places on Turkey Day, and right now I am already in such a horrible
place, and just begging it does not last until them.

Hope all is well with you. Where do you live?

Debbie

[cmonk]

Candy,
I know what you mean about being crazy in your own house, vs having
to be around other people. Add one's like your brother! I too will be going
a couple places on Turkey Day, and right now I am already in such a horrible
place, and just begging it does not last until them.

Hope all is well with you. Where do you live?

Debbie

I live 70 north of Dallas. I will be in Chino.CA. for 6days. I was going to meet a friend at the South Coast Plaza. I was kinda worried about going so far by myself but luckily my friend said she would drive with me if I meet her in Brea....We do not have traffic out here. I have driven in heavy traffic for years but not the way I am feeling now.

[nursedeborah]

I have been so out of it lately, I knew you were going to Chino.
I love South Coast Plaza! So expensive.

Don't blame you about the driving, I was so out of it yesterday, I kept
bumping into curbs, that's better than cars. I also had to have my friend
go into the store with me as the anxiety was so bad!

Feeling better today, how about you. Really sucks having this happen
to us, and then trying to go do things that we have planned!

Take good care,
Debbie

[cmonk]

I have been so out of it lately, I knew you were going to Chino.
I love South Coast Plaza! So expensive.

Don't blame you about the driving, I was so out of it yesterday, I kept
bumping into curbs, that's better than cars. I also had to have my friend
go into the store with me as the anxiety was so bad!

Feeling better today, how about you. Really sucks having this happen
to us, and then trying to go do things that we have planned!

Take good care,
Debbie

I am doing better. My head still feels weird but the Vitality Gold for women has helped my thinking. I have a few boxes of this stuff. I am going to take some of this with me to Ca. I almost want my family to see how bad it is. I know it is crazy but that is how I feel. I had a pretty good day yesterday. I was out and about with no problems. I just took the Vitality Gold for women a few mins. ago so I hope it kicks in soon.....I just wish I new how long this crap will be lasting. I want to get off this crap but I am afraid of the long term effects.I feel like when I finally get totally off this stuff I need to take a month and just sleep or do what ever makes me happy for that time. I hope you start to feel better soon.....Take care.


Candy

[nursedeborah]

Candy,
I will have to look into the stuff your taking. One thing to remember is that it will get
better, and then some of us still get set backs, some really bad ones during the weaning
system.

This feels like the battle of my like, just holding onto it at times, but you will, we will
get past all this.

Yes I too get scared about the long term affects, but try to just focus on right now, as
it's all I can do.

Glad you had a good day yesterday. I am just so tired from the 3 days of terrible sleep,
amd unbelievable anxiety!!

Take care,
Deb

[Junior]

Awww Deb

So sorry to hear of your sleep and anxiety problems. I was the same a couple of months ago. Can I ask you one thing? The anxiety I felt was different to anything I'd had before... it was like.. I could actually FEEL my nervous system..and it was incredibly jittery/ shaky. Is that what it's like for you? Or is it more cognitive?

((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))))

Junior

[cmonk]

Awww Deb

So sorry to hear of your sleep and anxiety problems. I was the same a couple of months ago. Can I ask you one thing? The anxiety I felt was different to anything I'd had before... it was like.. I could actually FEEL my nervous system..and it was incredibly jittery/ shaky. Is that what it's like for you? Or is it more cognitive?

((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))))

Junior

Junior,
When you said I could actually FEEL my nervous system did you mean on the in side more than what could be seen to other people? Cause that is how it is for me. Just this week the weird things I can feel in my head I can not explain it except that sometimes I can feel the vibration of the road in my head then I am driving and sometimes when I am not driving.....Is it like that for you?


Candy

[Junior]

Hi Candy

Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I could feel my actual nerves... In my case I think it was probably because I updosed too quickly. I had gone back onto Aropax (Paxil) and made a jump from 20 to 40mg in one go. I wouldn't normally do that but I could NOT sleep at night and I was desperate.

What you are feeling would be very similar except that it's internal to the brain. It's not surprising when you consider what we are doing to our brain chemicals - way beyond their normal functioning. I can't remember your story off the top of my head (I have read it) but if you have recently come off Cymbalta it will be because your brain is trying to regain it's natural equilibrium.

Hope that helps
Junior

[cmonk]

Junior
I am down to 10mg from 60mg. I was down to 7.5 from 15 but I was having panic attacks so I went back up to 10. I have doing this since end of Aug beginning of Sept. Are you off this crap?

[nursedeborah]

Awww Deb

So sorry to hear of your sleep and anxiety problems. I was the same a couple of months ago. Can I ask you one thing? The anxiety I felt was different to anything I'd had before... it was like.. I could actually FEEL my nervous system..and it was incredibly jittery/ shaky. Is that what it's like for you? Or is it more cognitive?

((((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))))))

Junior

Junior,
When you said I could actually FEEL my nervous system did you mean on the in side more than what could be seen to other people? Cause that is how it is for me. Just this week the weird things I can feel in my head I can not explain it except that sometimes I can feel the vibration of the road in my head then I am driving and sometimes when I am not driving.....Is it like that for you?


Yes that's how it is. Also this time I also felt so well kinda dizzy, disoriented, it was really weird.
I see that you at 10 mg, good for you. I am staying at 20 for awhile. I just had such a battle in
the past month now that I am down to this dose, I need to give myself a real break from all of
this.
I feel like I will go over the edge if I don't just stop for awhile, and then I am just going to go
down really slow, maybe 5 beads every 2 weeks, I just have never had a good time getting off
this stuff at all.

Take care, and thanks for the hug!


Debbie

Candy

[Junior]

Junior
I am down to 10mg from 60mg. I was down to 7.5 from 15 but I was having panic attacks so I went back up to 10. I have doing this since end of Aug beginning of Sept. Are you off this crap?

Hi Cmonk

Yes I'm off Cymbalta. But it's a horrible horrible drug. I only took it for 19 days (GI distress and disrupted sleep) and just cold turkeyed off 60mg. Silly me, I thought my psychiatrist had put me on a starting dose. Wrong. Anyhow, I endured horrible withdrawals. Severe upper abdo pain that my GP thought could have been gallstones, totally disrupted appetite and eating patterns, disrupted sleep... never again. It is the worst drug I've ever taken. I've been taking a/ds for years, for both GAD and MDD (major depressive disorder) but if it was a choice between GAD and this drug, I'd endure the GAD.

Please go slow. No doubt you've read of Debbie's journey. I also go to a Paxil forum and people there have a hell of a time getting off Paxil, also Effexor, and others. They recommend VERY slow drops - as low at .5ml if needed. They seem to have more success that way.

Good luck
Junior

[Junior]

Debbie

It's interesting, I've heard from SO many people that the lowest doses of a/ds are actually the hardest to get off. People can drop down from higher doses without TOO many dramas but the 'fun' starts when they try to get off the last 10, 5 mg (depending on the drug and how it is prescribed, of course). Even my naturopath has commented on this.

I know how hard this has been for you and I think it's a great idea to give yourself a break for a while. Remember also that you are re-learning how to be you and how to live life. That's a big step. Bigger than simply getting off a drug.

((((((((((((((((((more big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

Junior

[nursedeborah]

Debbie

It's interesting, I've heard from SO many people that the lowest doses of a/ds are actually the hardest to get off. People can drop down from higher doses without TOO many dramas but the 'fun' starts when they try to get off the last 10, 5 mg (depending on the drug and how it is prescribed, of course). Even my naturopath has commented on this.

I know how hard this has been for you and I think it's a great idea to give yourself a break for a while. Remember also that you are re-learning how to be you and how to live life. That's a big step. Bigger than simply getting off a drug.

((((((((((((((((((more big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

Junior

Junior,
You sure got that right, and thanks for the kind words. I have really been having a hard time the past
several days. I just feel like I can't get rid of these awful feelings, and feeling so tired I can't move.

This is just a very differnt drug in itself, and not at all what any of the others are like to get off, even
Effexor is not as bad. So I am wondering what the hell this stuff really has done to some of us. I am not
the only one who is having such a hard time, I have a few other friends that are right where I am too.

I am just going to go with the flow, I am tired of trying to get me to do something, and then feeling like crap
becuse I can't find the energy, or motivation.

This can't be like this for ever, but it just seems like it has been.

How are you,and what's going on it your life?

[Junior]

Hi Debbie

Was just reading a post of yours in another thread about the amount of diff a/d's you've been on over the years and I think you're probably right. Not so much in terms of the diff drugs, but more the length of time you've been taking something. Your brain has forgotten how to function in its natural state. Coupled with that, as we've talked about before, somewhere along the line "debbie" kind of got lost in there too. You will make it back. I know you will. You have to.. or I will shoot myself!

Hey.. are you still having feelings? Mine are coming back. I'm on too high a dose of Aropax (Paxil) to feel things deeply but I know I have to give myself time to 'heal' (after what Lexapro and Cymbalta did to me) before thinking about dropping the dose. At least I can get enjoyment out of things again. And I can empathise better with people here. For a couple of weeks I couldn't do that so I didn't post much.

Aside from all this crap, things are going well. As you know, hubby and I recently celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. It's amazing that we got this far. There have been times when I didn't think we would. And when I looked over our photos, I almost feel like I'm looking at different people. Not only were we young, but we were 'life inexperienced'!!!
Where did all those years go???????????????

Oh..with your low energy... have you looked at your diet? I know you mentioned a couple of times that it was hard eating properly because of the problems you've had. Just wondering how that is going? As you well know, diet is very important. So.. 'nurse' heal thyself! Just kidding =D But seriously, you do need to try to eat a balanced diet. It will help with your overall recovery.

((((((((((((((((((((more huge hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
Junior

[cmonk]

My son told me to just get back on a higher dose of this stuff this morning. He said I may not know it (yea right) but I am really messed up and it is only getting worse.I lost $200.00 last night. 100 was my daughters b-day money from my mom. I was up most of the night. My daughter was crying. I told her not to worry about it.I am not rich this really sucks.I am not going to get on a higher dose. I know I am messed up right now. I was on lexapro for 4 years before cymbalta for 1 year. I know my mind does not know how to work. I am just going to take a few weeks after the first of the year and just do what I have to to get my mind back. I am going to continue to lower my does till then.I know people will say what is your hurry but I feel crappy anyway so what does it matter?