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How Would You Rate Your Families Support?


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#61 lady2882Nancy

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 09:01 PM

Chimera

I would imagine that would be a very hard situation and both you and your mother have been victims of Cymbalta.

 

I have only really had to deal with my hubbie and since he is a farmer he is very busy right now. He was very good with the physical Cymptoms as well, but our support people cannot see inside us to see the mental auguish that we are dealing with. He's not so patient now that there are no obvious physical problems.

 

It would seem that the physical part of stopping was only part of the battle. The mental problems are not so obvious but take much longer to deal with and heal. As with any chronic condition, dealing with the day to day part of life is difficult enough without a curve ball like Cymbalta coming at us.

 

I try my best to do the things that need to be done around here but dealing with Cymbalta withdrawals on top of years of Chronic Insomnia has made life very difficult. The other day before hubbie left I gave him a kiss and told him "I am apoligizing right now for any and all screw ups I make that aggravate, annoy or delay you today". His reply "I'm sorry if I am impatient with you today"  Funny thing is that by reminding him that I was still having problems took the pressure off me to be perfect and neither one of us ended up feeling bad that day.

 

Now I know that this isn't the same as you and your mother, but somehow you need to take the pressure off of yourself about screwing up. My mother and I used to write letters to each other when we were living together and had argued or things were tense between us. We both were too emotional about stuff to sit down and talk things out.

 

You have been given a tough load to carry chimera and your mother probably understands more than you realize.

 

Take care of you and hug your mother. She's earned it.


#62 chimera

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Posted 18 May 2013 - 11:45 AM

Chimera

I would imagine that would be a very hard situation and both you and your mother have been victims of Cymbalta.

 

I have only really had to deal with my hubbie and since he is a farmer he is very busy right now. He was very good with the physical Cymptoms as well, but our support people cannot see inside us to see the mental auguish that we are dealing with. He's not so patient now that there are no obvious physical problems.

 

It would seem that the physical part of stopping was only part of the battle. The mental problems are not so obvious but take much longer to deal with and heal. As with any chronic condition, dealing with the day to day part of life is difficult enough without a curve ball like Cymbalta coming at us.

 

I try my best to do the things that need to be done around here but dealing with Cymbalta withdrawals on top of years of Chronic Insomnia has made life very difficult. The other day before hubbie left I gave him a kiss and told him "I am apoligizing right now for any and all screw ups I make that aggravate, annoy or delay you today". His reply "I'm sorry if I am impatient with you today"  Funny thing is that by reminding him that I was still having problems took the pressure off me to be perfect and neither one of us ended up feeling bad that day.

 

Now I know that this isn't the same as you and your mother, but somehow you need to take the pressure off of yourself about screwing up. My mother and I used to write letters to each other when we were living together and had argued or things were tense between us. We both were too emotional about stuff to sit down and talk things out.

 

You have been given a tough load to carry chimera and your mother probably understands more than you realize.

 

Take care of you and hug your mother. She's earned it.

thank you Nancy, I can imagine how very busy your husband is, farming is such a 24-7 thing that you are up against so many things that are going to take up his attention. plus the pressure on you to 'do your bit' when you feel absolutely terrible, it's doubly hard. 

the way you gave him a kiss and apologised in advance, that made a lot of sense. sometimes preempting trouble helps, and people are reminded that way when they often forget (and that's natural, I keep reminding myself that loved ones are only human, they can't be 'switched on' to the withdrawal thing all the time, they have their own lives. but I forget and that's when problems start! all we can do is keep trying our best, and cutting ourselves and others slack.

today I hugged her and put cream on her back, she seemed happy lol.


#63 Whycee

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 09:56 AM

My kids (all grown) want me off of it and I do too. They are very supportive. This website is supportive as well.


#64 h2oinCA

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 06:24 PM

OK, all my posts have been pretty positive until this one.  I just need to get a few things off my chest and it looks like this thread is the right place to do it.  My wife and I are currently estranged, but we are working on putting the relationship back together.  We live in separate houses, but see each other regularly, and I usually spend the weekends at her place.  From my perspective, she keeps trying to make my health issues about HER!  Although we discussed my desire to get off Crapalta when I first began slowly tapering (Minus 5 beads/day), and she said she supported my decision to get off this crap, she has not been very supportive in deed.  She keeps insisting that I need to help her through my withdrawal symptoms instead of the other way around!  Now, she wants me to consider going into rehab to quit Cymbalta because that will be easier on HER!  I admit, I have been more anxious & irritable lately as I decrease the drug (today I'm at 32.5% of my normal 60mg/day dose), and yesterday she got me to the point of RAGE as she kept trying to make MY withdrawals about HER!  She's apparently more of the mind to apply her version of 'tough love" on me when I think if she'd just leave me the hell alone, this would go so much more smoothly!  She seems to have a need to 'poke the bear', even though she knows (or should know) I'll unload on her when she does.  Even though I asked her to read up on Cymbalta withdrawals, and she has read a number of posts where increased irritability and even rage are indications of withdrawals, she continues to 'poke the bear.'  An apparent sore spot with her is the fact that I have not enlisted the "help" of my psychdoc for my taper program.  I've not done this for a couple of reasons - (1) I'm not scheduled to see him until next month, and (2) the last time I tried to get off an antidepressant (Lexapro) with him, he had me cut the dose in half for a week and then stop taking it.  Needless to say, that failed, and I ultimately wound up on Crapalta.  I don't want a repeat of the last failed event, but I want to get off this poison and try to get my life back.  I've been on antidepressants for the last 13+ years and it needs to stop!  I know I'm rambling a bit - had a restless night after an ice cream/sugar overload did not allow me to get a lot of sleep.  Any constructive feedback would be welcome.  Thank you all for the support....it is very helpful!


#65 fishinghat

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:24 PM

h2oinCa, your comments about NOT getting the dr to help is a valid one as well as a sad point. They just aren't trained by the pharm companies about the withdrawal techniques. I am afraid I just started with my 4th psychiatrist and that is exactly why!!

 

As far as your estranged wife, well I am going to be blunt, If she can't fiqure out that at this point in time it is NOT about her and all about you, then she doesn't have a clue. Now don't get me wrong. I beleive in 50/50. Share emotions, opinions, etc BUT when one of the pair is suffering it is all about the one in pain. She should be able to see what you are going through and be empathetic. If at a time like this she is making it all about her then that is the last person you need to be around. Right now you need support not another problem to deal with. 

 

Just calling it like I see it. Sorry.


#66 lady2882Nancy

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 07:52 PM

h2oinCA

I understand completely about not going to the Psych Doc for help with this. Very few doctors seem to get it and by it I mean the horrors we can go through when discontinuing this Crap.

We are in the elite 20% who have side effects and unfortunately if the doctors don't get it then it is hard to expect anyone else to (unless of course like us they have been through it).

 

I'm afraid that I agree with my friend fishinghat that you don't need to be around someone who wants it to be all about her and not you which is what it is really all about. I understand that she is your wife but since you are already living in separate houses you may need to limit your time with her for a little while. You can always use the age old excuses that you are "too tired to go over" or have a "terrible headache". Or go out somewhere, even a brisk walk, when you are together instead.

 

Two things that I can suggest:

1. A supplement called L-theanine (make sure it is suntheanine) which will help with the rage and irritability which may make it easier for you to deal with her.

2. You may need to taper slower to stop these side effects from showing up.

 

Hang in there, this whole process really is about you but may be a little bit about how you deal with her too.

 

Take care


#67 h2oinCA

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 12:42 AM

fishinghat & lady2882Nancy - Thank you for the understanding words about both my wife and my psychdoc.  It is truly a blessing to be able to communicate with others who have walked in my shoes, so to speak.  As for the supplement, I have been taking suntheanine since I started my taper at 100mg, 4 times a day, along with flaxseed oil (1000mg X4/day).  Should I increase the L-Theanine?  Have either of you had any experience taking 5-HTP during your taper?  I'm not sure if I should take it until I'm done with the Crapalta, but I need to do some more research.  As for my wife, we'll see how this plays out.  I think take your advice and slow down the taper a bit and see if that helps with my side of things.  Thanks again for the support.....best wishes!


#68 lady2882Nancy

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 09:47 AM

Do not take 5-HTP while you are still taking Cymbalta.

I did some research on it and posted my findings under Nutritional Support - About 5-HTP posted here:

https://www.cymbalta...71-about-5-htp/

 

5-HTP raises your serotonin levels and so does Crapalta and taking the two together can cause dangerously high serotonin levels.

A pharmacist could guide you on how to taper off one while starting the other BUT that implies that the 5-HTP is a pure source and each capsule is exactly the same amount. Because this is a supplement, this is not regulated like prescription meds so the dosage may not be constant. Fine when you aren't taking Crapalta but dangerous when you are.

 

The risk is Serotonin Syndrome  - too much serotonin can be fatal.

 

Try instead staying at the same dose for a few days until things settle down and then start tapering again but a little slower.

Why have side effects if you don't have too.

 

With the L-theanine, try taking a dose of 200mg first thing when you get up, that's what I do. L-theanine is absorbed best on an empty stomach and that morning dose gives you the boost needed. You can still take the 100mg for the other 3 times as you can take 600mg.

 

Best of luck to you and we are here if you need us.

 

Take care


#69 scared60

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 12:28 PM

Okay, I just told my aunt about my experience of a couple of days ago (which is in the newbie heading.)She was barely paying attention.  I don't think she wants to hear about it. (while typing this, I told her more and she was more present and interactive, so that good.) I told her I didn't think Cymbalta was working for me any longer and she asked "how do I know?" ... valid question really. I don't know.  I've been on it long enough that I don't know ...

 

I'm 60 she's 70, I think from her stand point (and some days mine) ... at this age why put the body through the withdrawal.  Hell, I don't have that many years left on the planet ... and I have to ask, just how bad are MY side effects? 

 

I DON'T KNOW!!! That's the problem for me, between the oxycodone for back pain, the lorazapam for major sadness (or I don't even know now).  Fibromyalgia alone is confusing add the back pain and then possible side effects from BEING ON Cymbalta ... wellllll, helllll, I don't know what I'm feeling!

 

So I go off the Cymbalta, battle perhaps years of withdrawal ... WHY?  At this age?  With fibromyalgia and chronic back pain ... I'm really confused right now ...

 

I think my aunt would be supportive, but she doesn't think I should go off it.  Not that she has any pull in the decision, but perhaps she's right?

 

 


#70 thismoment

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Posted 04 January 2014 - 12:50 PM

Perhaps she's right. Take some time and get stable on your medication and take the Cymbalta at the same time every day. If you have a psychologist that you see, discuss it with him or her. 


#71 Cloudy513

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 12:18 PM

It sounds wrong but it helps to hear that others receive no support from their families. Sometimes I feel like I must just be a horrid person if I am the only one out there who has to sit alone and go through this nightmare by myself. If I even hint that I'm having a bad day that is the last I'll hear from my daughter until such time as I text her something cheerful again which signals her that the coast is clear and she can text me again without having to hear anything that she might have to "deal"with.
We live five minutes apart, but only communicate through text. If I try calling her I can tell she is annoyed. She claims to be the busiest mom/employee/person on the face of this earth, but mostly she just uses it as an excuse to avoid me. She forgets that she texts me all about her movie nights, runs with her friends, nights out with her new hubby, and the fact that she still asked me to watch their house while they travel to Chicago to drink for days next month and celebrate her step mothers 60th birthday. I was told last month for my birthday that they would have me over for cake and ice cream, but oops they forgot to actually do it. As if I wasn't feeling bad enough about myself. She adored me when I was working and helping her out and watching the kids and her house when she was away, and had money to spend on them. Now I am disabled, on limited income and trying to get off this horrible drug. I told her it would be hard for me and to be patient with my moods. She took that to mean, sure mom, text me when you're feeling better!
I had a horrible crying fest this morning from the time I got up till just a while ago. I feel like if I cry long enough, or hard enough, I might finally get it all out. But that never happens. I even started a depression board on Pinterest. Wow, how pathetic is that?
Days like this I just try to sit through them....Literally....just sit....so I don't do something stupid. Am still journaling and still amazed at the vile things I write. No end in site.

#72 fishinghat

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 01:03 PM

Shanteesa, I hate to hear what you are going through. Sorry. How long have you been off the cymbalta or are you still weaning?

 

Don't feel bad about your daughter. Most family members just don't know how to handle these things. And don't worry about support here. Great group of people. Don't be afraid to let out all your worries and fears here. We know how you feel. We are here anytime for you.

I would also recommend that your daughter read some of the posts on here and get a feeling what you are going through. It will give her better sense of what you are feeling and what is coming in the future.

 

 


#73 Cloudy513

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 01:18 PM

I stepped down gradually finally being totally off on Jan 8th. It seemed to be going pretty well for a week or so then the spiral started and I can't seem to stop it. I am so glad to have somewhere to go to let off steam.

#74 fishinghat

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 01:34 PM

That means you have been off for  7 weeks. Sounds like you are having more problems than most at that time frame. You should be seeing some better days by now. There is still hope. Some do take longer before they see better days. I hope you can hang in there a little longer. Take it easy on yourself and try not to worry it only makes things worse.

 

God Bless


#75 Carleeta

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 04:00 PM

Cloudy513...You are in a very sensitive state right now trying to contend with Cymbaltar withhdrawl.

FishingHat has expressed his knowledge on the approximate time length of withdrawl symptoms and their highs and lows..
Agreeing with Fishinghat on families and how unsupportive they can be due to not having the knowledge how antidepressents affect individuals and how difficult the withdrawals are..They aren't educated in this area just as people suffering from cymbalta were not educated correctly..or should I say misinformed! Having said that, and from your post, I get the impression you don't have faith in your daughter reading this forum or even caring enough to educate herself..You might try and ask her to read this forum and you'll know for sure if she really cares or not..It's definitely worth a try...Sometimes our children suprise us and do the opposite of what we think they feel or say..

I Please know we are all here for you..Feel free to vent, cry, laugh, get angry and post your emotions as often as you heart desires..We will support you all the way..

Hang on...Others will be chiming in on your post..

#76 scared60

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 09:49 AM

For all my yaking about my aunt ... she's been great this weekend.  very understanding.  I am truly blessed. :hug:


#77 scared60

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 12:22 PM

Of course she just asked me if I had considered that the withdrawal is worse than the side effects ... well, DUH!?!?!  Pi$$ed me off

 

Like YES I've considered it and over the past 6 days I've asked myself the same question at least 10 times a day and think I just want to throw my hat back in the Cymbalta ring.

 

So, really, why am I getting off Cymbalta?  I can't even remember now, the past 6 days have been sooo crappy.  May be I should go back to a lower dose like 20 a day.

 

ARUGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


#78 Amybc7

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 02:13 PM

I had posted the same thing about month ago, Scared!  

 

For me - what began as going off it just because I didn't feel like I needed it at this point in my life turned into the realization that so many other factors could be linked - weight gain, thyroid started underfunctioning, blood pressure went up (the same month I started the medication but it took us 5 years to figure out that connection!), my liver enzymes are high, and blah blah blah.  

 

People try to help.  I got the "Just stop taking it".  Then I got the "Maybe you should keep taking it".  

 

Listen to you...even in the darkest moments there are those snippets of clarity.  Embrace those.  Going back up doesn't mean you won't ever come back down.  I've bounced beads around like a juggling clown.  Balance.  Find the balance.


#79 scared60

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 02:48 PM

Thanks Amybc, good words!!! Thanks!!

 

 ... I was having a tantrum (at 61!) - I went to my room had a good cry, a little nap, 1/2 of a lorazepam, a pain pill and now I'm up for a moment.  I'm the type of person that when sick, likes to be left alone ... I usually stay in my room until I feel better, chuckle. not an option with withdrawal tho!  tee hee

 

Day 6 without Cymbalta and she asks me that.  Well, she doesn't understand and how could she, she is just worried about me. 

 

Anyhooooo, there are a variety of reason I want off this, the last being I can't afford it once I'm in the "donut hole" of medicare plan.

 

Now that I've calmed down, tomorrow I'm going to ask my doc to prescribe 20 mgs a day, from my normal 60 mgs that I tapered down from over 2 wk period.  The 20 should put me back on track (I hope) and then I'll do the bead counting (just the thought of chasing those little buggers around makes me quiver!).

 

I don't think I can do it any other way, stay sane and keep a healthy relationship with my roommate auntie. She and I are like 2 old farts duking it out sometimes, but hey ... we're family! {{{palms up shoulders lifted}}} :blink:


#80 fishinghat

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 03:07 PM

I had posted the same thing about month ago, Scared!  

 

For me - what began as going off it just because I didn't feel like I needed it at this point in my life turned into the realization that so many other factors could be linked - weight gain, thyroid started underfunctioning, blood pressure went up (the same month I started the medication but it took us 5 years to figure out that connection!), my liver enzymes are high, and blah blah blah.  

 

People try to help.  I got the "Just stop taking it".  Then I got the "Maybe you should keep taking it".  

 

Listen to you...even in the darkest moments there are those snippets of clarity.  Embrace those.  Going back up doesn't mean you won't ever come back down.  I've bounced beads around like a juggling clown.  Balance.  Find the balance.

Well Amy you said your liver enzymes were high. Usually at that point the dr has a fit and takes the patient off the ssri/snri.  This is a serious side effect of Cymbalta (and others). Has your dr addressed this at all?


#81 Amybc7

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 04:00 PM

No.  She classified it as a "fluke".

 

I go back in early August for her to do some blood work again.

 

Perhaps elevated is a better word.  Not high.  Elevated.   :)


#82 TryinginFL

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 05:12 PM

I am envious of those of you that have family support...

 

I have none from anyone - my sons figure that after 6 months I should be fine - I have sent them links to info to read, but I'm sure that they haven't done so.

 

In addition, a "friend", who is no longer, told me that I was just using the withdrawal as an excuse since it was out of my system months ago - Geeeezzzz!

 

I am thankful for all of you here as I don't know who else I can talk to!  Thanks so much :)


#83 TryinginFL

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 05:20 PM

P.S.  Sorry, don't like to whine, but that's how I feel right now! :(


#84 scared60

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 05:29 PM

Hey TIF, you were not whining. You have been very supportive of me & so many others. Let's call it venting as we all have to now and then!

Thank you for being there and I am there for you as I am sure this whole forum is!Hugs, love and prayers to you!

#85 scared60

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 05:39 PM

PS I haven't told too many people in my family because seriously, who is gona get it? My aunt who lives with me doesn't and she sees me every day.

My son, who is an addict (oxycontin) & currently trying to stay sober might & I have one friend who has struggled with oxycontin addition - she might. But the rest , I don't think so as they have no point of reference.

Anyway we be here for you!

#86 fishinghat

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Posted 20 July 2014 - 06:02 PM

TFL

 

To go through this is hell. To go through this alone is unimaginable. That is why we have the Great Comforter. You are a strong woman.





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