Ape hang in there!
The brain zaps are like electric shocks inside your head- a sharp stabbing pain in your brain. It would spin me around and jerk my head to the left at the same time. Spooky. They started on day 19 from tapering off 30 mg counting beads. I got them intermittently during the day, and they were gone in 5 days.
I experienced the blank moments (the empty glass) also. I would walk into a room to get something, or turn around to do something and I would suddenly be empty-headed, with no idea of what I was doing or looking for. I just stood there- blank. I learned that my head (the glass) would begin to refill once I started moving again. This symptom gradually went away.
Shame is often associated with depression, but of course it's broader than that, and everybody experiences it to one degree or another.
But shame can be painful and debilitating. It can drive you inside a cell of solitude and behind a face that smiles too quickly. It droops the head between sloped shoulders, and flashes furtive eyes that seek a spot to alight safe and unseen. This is where you might not be able to fix it yourself, but a talk with a psychologist will surely help.
Much of what gives us shame is not of our making, because we don't consciously engineer the circumstances that put us where we are: we don't pick our DNA; we don't pick our parents; we don't pick the point in Time of our birth; we don't pick the society into which we are born; we don't pick the dogma (religious or otherwise) that has been driven into our heads as children; and we don't pick all the random events that combine with these factors to make us who we are. We don't build our own minds.
Ape, the drug and the withdrawal both create new emotional issues and exacerbate existing ones. This will get better and better, but you can get some help with the feeling of shame. Emotions are acute and tender during withdrawal, and it's wonderful to talk to somebody with a sympathetic ear who will work with you, accept you and not judge you. May you be well and flourish!!