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Posted 18 December 2013 - 06:15 PM
'Thrashing' in an interesting term; could it be related to Akathisia? There are many changes going on in your brain right now, and some symptoms wander in and out. You're part way through the ride right now, and while you can't get off, you can control it's speed.
I see that you have levelled off. That's great- you are in control.
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Posted 19 December 2013 - 02:16 AM
Well, pooh!!! 1:40 am Thurs. and here I am!!!!!! Can't sleep, tossing, and flopping around like a fish, brain just refuses to go to sleep! Not something I have to deal with often, thank God, but tonight just ain't a good night. Yes, lm3g, I think this is common in w/ds, and the back pain also. The back pain lasted for a couple of weeks for me. It did bring some relief when my sweet husband gave me a rub down with Ben Gay. The last few days, after patting self on the back for doing so good for a week or so, have been somewhat tough. I'm just battling a lot of negative junk going on in my head, lack of motivation, and getting thoroughly p'oed at myself for it! I hear you loud and clear, dear this moment, be patient, as if you are here in the room with me (lol, I AM learning!!). But I am not a very patient person, and mad about THAT too!!!! I am trying to stay busy, but even in the busyness the brain still talks it's crap to me! Uggg! I know this makes little sense to anyone but this is where I am and it's better than 3-4 weeks ago PTL, but still, I just wanna be normal whatever that is, yet praying THIS is not my new normal. I just don't think I could handle me if this is the way it's gonna be. I am really scared I will revert back to the tearyeyed, exhausted, achy thang I was back in the mid 90s when I was put on antids'!!!! I have sooo much to be grateful for! You ppl here have truly been a God send. I would not be this far along in this crappy process w/out ya'll! So thanks again!!! Hope you all continue to progress well. I tell myself this is gonna pass, I just want it to hurry!!! Love and hugs to all! clara 
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Posted 19 December 2013 - 09:57 PM
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Posted 20 December 2013 - 01:49 AM
Clara- You say you're not a very patient person- and mad about THAT too!!!! Well you're a very human person and your strength shines through in your writing. A dear friend once said to me, "If you really want to get something done, sometimes you have to GET MAD!!"
Getting mad is emotion, and emotion is life: it's energy and momentum- don't stifle it, use it strategically to battle this demon!
I am sending positive thoughts to you! This is one victory you'll want to savour- don't rush. You are bidding adieu, waving a long goodbye, savouring the space- feeling that shadow leaving you, seeing it sliding inexorably over the horizon, one-single-solitary-bead-at-a-time.
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Posted 20 December 2013 - 09:11 AM
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Posted 21 December 2013 - 08:58 AM
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Posted 21 December 2013 - 10:18 AM
For the past 2 weeks, my dreams have been vividly horrendous; they wake me up, I go drink a large a,unt of water to flush this evil substance out. The cycle repeats itself. I regal my friends with my crazy dreams. I know that if I don't laugh at the bizarreness of them, I will be afraid to sleep. It is as if this drug wants me to keep using it. But guess what? I am down to 6 beads; keep throwing whatever you have at me, because I, with the help of the writings and warnings of people here, will win.
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Posted 21 December 2013 - 11:06 AM
Akk- I went through a period of horrendous dreams when I was getting close to Bead Zero. The dreams went away after some days. Still, once in a while I will get a macabre dream that I would consider 'new material', when compared to pre-Cymbalta dream content.
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Posted 21 December 2013 - 11:21 AM
Akk, you seem strong and determined, yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay that way!!!!! God bless!!!! clara
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