536 replies to this topic

[houseofmiro]

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you all that I will be leaving the site because of personnel reasons. I have so many dear friends here that I will miss. God bless and may your efforts to shake this monster meet with success.

Thank you for being such a positive influence and providing so much support.  Go with God/S(depending on your belief structure).  

[Carleeta]

Out of something negative comes a positive. Due to all the wonderful and dedicated members who have surfed these threads on this forum and have suffered the hell of cymbalta and it's withdrawl symptoms, I among all members want to thank you all for we turned this negative into a positive and it's all about us. We made this connection, we made progress, we healed, we cared, and we built a hill... Now we will build a mountain.....

[TryinginFL]

FH

 

I will miss you greatly.  You have given so much help and hope to all of us.

 

May God Bless You.

 

Liz 

[FiveNotions]

FishingHat, thank you for saving my life, my sanity, my health ... and for giving me ... repeatedly ... the hope I needed to made it through the hard part of cold turkey withdrawal ... you kept me going, often on a moment-by-moment basis ... you threw me a life-line when I was drowning, and you taught me how to swim in some pretty rough waters ... I would not be here today, re-entering life ... a new life ... without Cymbalta ... were it not for you.

 

You are forever in my prayers. And you are always welcome and wanted here ... so never hesitate to drop by for a visit, no need to even post, just check in on us once in a while ... the "porch light" will always be on for you here, and in our hearts.

[Jones]

HofM
I also used to be able to envision things to paint but all that seems to be on hold.

[houseofmiro]

Howdy ho there Jones.

Have you tried without any specific ideal or vision.  It can be frustrating, but even when it doesn't turn out, a canvass can be reused, and it's still something.  Are there other creative outlets you enjoy or have enjoyed?

[brzghoff]

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you all that I will be leaving the site because of personnel reasons. I have so many dear friends here that I will miss. God bless and may your efforts to shake this monster meet with success.

 

 

wow, dr hat you will be missed! you've been such a friend and tremendous asset to this form 

[Clara]

Fishinghat, my dear friend, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have been to all of us! You will be in my prayers! I pray God richly blesses you with continued healing from all you have been through. You have touched the lives of so so many of us with much needed info, humor, insightfulness, and encouragement! Hugs from me in Carolina!!!!!

[gail]

Fishinghat,

 

I dont know what to say! and somehow I do understand in a funny way.

 

Thank you for your presence, advice, pm's, info and for being you.

 

You are a wonderful person, a have a beautiful soul!

 

I love who you are, thank you and may God return the favors, you have helped so many.

 

With love, Gail xxx

[FiveNotions]

Well, friends, today has been / is filled with negatives ... hearing from FH that he is leaving us ... no word from TM ...

 

And, as if that isn't enuf, one of my 3 beloved cats, Sweetie, fell very ill over the weekend. Stopped eating, drinking, and moving around ... completely lethargic ... I got him to the vet first thing this morning. He told me that Sweetie has a "very large, irregular shaped mass" on one of his kidneys, and the he is "very, very sick." I had to leave him there, for "observation." The vet took blood, said the test results will be back tomorrow morning. He said that if it is cancer, it's inoperable.

 

I just called the vet to check on how Sweetie is doing ... no change. And I'm beating myself up ... I failed to take care of him, take him for his regular check-ups, during all these 10 months while I've been so consumed with the damned crapalta withdrawal, survival, and attempt to get on with / back to a life of some sort.

 

I've had Sweetie, and my two other kitties, for 9 years ... they were all adopted, at about age 2 ... so all are a bit up there in years. These 3 little fur faces, and my friends here on the forum, were virtually the only companions, friends, sources of comfort and encouragement I had during the first 4-5 months of my hellish cold turkey withdrawal ... and they ... and you here on the forum, remain my main source of comfort and encouragement now that I'm well enuf to try to "re-learn" how to be out there in the world, and try to re-enter the world of working ...

 

Bereft ... that's how I'm feeling .. bereft ...

[Carleeta]

Well, friends, today has been / is filled with negatives ... hearing from FH that he is leaving us ... no word from TM ...

 

And, as if that isn't enuf, one of my 3 beloved cats, Sweetie, fell very ill over the weekend. Stopped eating, drinking, and moving around ... completely lethargic ... I got him to the vet first thing this morning. He told me that Sweetie has a "very large, irregular shaped mass" on one of his kidneys, and the he is "very, very sick." I had to leave him there, for "observation." The vet took blood, said the test results will be back tomorrow morning. He said that if it is cancer, it's inoperable.

 

I just called the vet to check on how Sweetie is doing ... no change. And I'm beating myself up ... I failed to take care of him, take him for his regular check-ups, during all these 10 months while I've been so consumed with the damned crapalta withdrawal, survival, and attempt to get on with / back to a life of some sort.

 

I've had Sweetie, and my two other kitties, for 9 years ... they were all adopted, at about age 2 ... so all are a bit up there in years. These 3 little fur faces, and my friends here on the forum, were virtually the only companions, friends, sources of comfort and encouragement I had during the first 4-5 months of my hellish cold turkey withdrawal ... and they ... and you here on the forum, remain my main source of comfort and encouragement now that I'm well enuf to try to "re-learn" how to be out there in the world, and try to re-enter the world of working ...

 

Bereft ... that's how I'm feeling .. bereft ...

FiveNotions, honey we are right here with you.  Praying for Sweetie and praying for you.  I understand and feel your pain and certainly understand why you are blaming yourself.  Please do not blame yourself, you have given him a home with lots of love.  It's not your fault he has fallen ill at this time.  Much is happening to you right now, and you are having a difficult time for which we all care.  Yes, our dear friend Fishinghat has left, and Thismoment is also gone.  This does not mean I am gone, or TryinginFl is gone, or other members who care for you deeply.  I am right here for you. 

 

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe this has all happened for a reason, and a good one at that.  It wasn't by chance we all met up here.  We all had the same things in common and were brought to this very forum.   

 

Yes, Cymbalta is to blame for our lives today, although look where it has led us and to the wonderful pp here who are dedicated, caring, loving, and wonderful.  I would have never met you, my forum friend, if it had not been for Cymbalta.

 

I'll always try and be a comfort to you, as you have been a asset to my life..........

[FiveNotions]

Well, yet again, I'm out of "likes" ... Carleeta, I more than "like" your response to my sad bedraggled post ... you are a fabulous inspiration ... thank you a million times a million!!

[brzghoff]

FN, i am so sorry about Sweetie. That is such a tough thing to go through. but do not beat yourself up! this has nothing to do with how you cared for him. when cats act normal we think everything is normal. this isn't the kind of thing that necessarily shows up during a regular checkup. 

 

Sweetie and your other two kitties have lived with a lot of love from you. no kitty could ever ask for anything more.

 

my heart goes out to you, sweetie and  your other two kitties. 

[Clara]

Oh FN, bless your heart! This is not your fault! I just a few weeks ago put my 18 year old Tuxedo cat down. I didn't take her for reg' vet checks either.  She was healthy up until the last month or so of her life.  She was precious to me and saw me through some very very hard times! Please don't beat yourself up over this! I too hate to see our beloved FH go, but we all have to do what's best for ourselves and I pray FH is moving forward. Words cannot express how much I appreciate him and will miss him! You, dear FN are a huge asset to the forum and greatly appreciated! Take heart in the fact that we all love and appreciate all you do here on the forum! God bless you with all you need! Hugs and prayers!

[TryinginFL]

FN

 

I don't know how I can add to the outpouring of love and appreciation being shown for you.  I also feel that we were all meant to meet for a reason - and you have been a wonderful friend to all of us and so helpful no matter what the subject.

 

I am adding my prayers to all the others - for you and for Sweetie.  May you be granted peace, my dear friend.

 

Love and hugs,

Liz

[FiveNotions]

Thank you all ... so very much ... you've lifted my spirits, lent me your energy and your "positives" ... I am positively feeling more positive!

 

xoxox

[Carleeta]

Brzghoff, Clara (nice to see you again, where have you been?), TryinginFl.  All three of you have just popped in at the right time.  FiveNotions is so besides herself with her poor feline Sweetie, and needed so much to hear from all of you. It truly couldn't have happened at a better time.  With the outpouring love and caring you are giving her will definitely help her through the next few days as she waits to hear about Sweetie.  It's bad enough to have all lingering issues with Cymbalta after stopping, and to now face a feline family member who is ill at the moment.  Thank you all for sharing your stories and love for her.....

[Jones]

Howdy ho there Jones.
Have you tried without any specific ideal or vision.  It can be frustrating, but even when it doesn't turn out, a canvass can be reused, and it's still something.  Are there other creative outlets you enjoy or have enjoyed?

No, I haven't found any other creative outlet. Been continuing to try to paint on furniture now. Made a few contributions to the burn pile.
Argh argh argh. I was surprised when the visions didn't come or the inspiration did not materialize. I then thought that may be a side effect I haven't gotten past yet.
Orrrr it is something I have that is the reason I am on the antidepressants in the first place. . Does that make sense ? It looks so gramatically incorrect !

[FiveNotions]

Had to put my kitty, Sweetie, to sleep this evening ... lab tests came back ... complete/total kidney failure ... not a tumor, just destroyed kidneys ... got to hold him and talk to him for a while, then the vet gave him a strong tranquilizer, and I held him while it kicked in. Vet wouldn't let me stay for the second shot ... it causes instant, painless cardiac arrest, but often causes a seizure at the moment of death ... all the other times I've had to do this with my previous kitties, the vet (a different clinic), used an IV in the paw/leg ... and I was able to hold them as they drifted off and died ... this was hard, I wanted to stay with him right until the end ... but the vet and his wife are/were just wonderfully kind to me and to Sweetie ...

 

I had a good cry as I was holding him ... and I'm going to have a couple more, I'm sure ...

 

I am so incredibly angry ... at this drug ... because, while I was on the shit, I didn't care about anything, including taking my kitties for regular vet check ups ... and then, when I was in the deepest part of withdrawal was when I should have known Sweetie was getting sick ... and I didn't notice ... and, then, more recently, I've been so totally caught up in trying to get back to work, I still didn't notice ...

 

I hate this drug because it took away my life ... 8 years of my life ... and, now it has taken away the life of a beloved little critter who did nothing but help me through withdrawal ... stayed right by my side during the worst of it ... as did my other two kitties ...

 

Damn I am angry ... and so sad ...

[Carleeta]

Had to put my kitty, Sweetie, to sleep this evening ... lab tests came back ... complete/total kidney failure ... not a tumor, just destroyed kidneys ... got to hold him and talk to him for a while, then the vet gave him a strong tranquilizer, and I held him while it kicked in. Vet wouldn't let me stay for the second shot ... it causes instant, painless cardiac arrest, but often causes a seizure at the moment of death ... all the other times I've had to do this with my previous kitties, the vet (a different clinic), used an IV in the paw/leg ... and I was able to hold them as they drifted off and died ... this was hard, I wanted to stay with him right until the end ... but the vet and his wife are/were just wonderfully kind to me and to Sweetie ...
 
I had a good cry as I was holding him ... and I'm going to have a couple more, I'm sure ...
 
I am so incredibly angry ... at this drug ... because, while I was on the shit, I didn't care about anything, including taking my kitties for regular vet check ups ... and then, when I was in the deepest part of withdrawal was when I should have known Sweetie was getting sick ... and I didn't notice ... and, then, more recently, I've been so totally caught up in trying to get back to work, I still didn't notice ...
 
I hate this drug because it took away my life ... 8 years of my life ... and, now it has taken away the life of a beloved little critter who did nothing but help me through withdrawal ... stayed right by my side during the worst of it ... as did my other two kitties ...
 
Damn I am angry ... and so sad ...

FiveNotions, I'm so sorry for Sweetie. No words I say right now will ease your pain and sadness. My heart is with you and so are my prayers..

You vent your anger here, and keep venting it...you have every right to be angry.

When Sweetie was at your side through all you went through, you were right there for Sweetie. Now Sweetie will be right there by your side as your angel.

Sweetie didn't want you to notice how sick he was. You would have noticed no matter what, if he wanted you to.

[FiveNotions]

Thank you, Carleeta ... yet again, you prove what a wonderful "cheer leader" you are ...

[TryinginFL]

FN

 

My heart is breaking with yours.  I truly understand how you are feeling as I lost my little Silky Terrier the same way.  His liver was eaten with cancer and I had no idea until the very end when he stopped eating.  If only our dear little companions could tell us when they first begin to feel ill.

 

Don't blame yourself...  I was not in withdrawal when Boo got sick and I wasn't aware.  It seems to happen so quickly.  Be thankful that you  were able to hold your dear baby before he left.  I didn't get that chance because he was in surgery and I asked that they let him go then.  

 

I am shedding tears as I type this - we both will have someone to meet us at Rainbow Bridge.  Sweetie will be with you in spirit because you will never forget his sweet presence.

 

I send you much love and prayers, dear friend

 

Liz    

[TryinginFL]

:(Here's a real negative - at this lovely hour (320am) I am sitting here waiting for water extraction being done in my bedroom and hallway.  Seems the water intake from the floor into the commode went haywire for at least a couple of hours while I was in my "tv, laptop and dog room" at the other end of the house.

 

When I was off to bed and started walking down the hall, all I heard was "Squish, Squish" and I about lost it when I made it to the bedroom - from bathroom to the bed was soaked with about 2 inches of water - yep, carpet and all.  Used all the towels in the house to try to sop some of it up and am now starting mega loads of towels in washer as 2 guys are here doing the clean-up   They keep bringing things out to me from the 2 closets in the room - omg, what a cluster-fuck!!  It will take me a week to put this place back together again, and they come every day for 5 days to check on the drying process....

 

To add to the fun, I was supposed to have my massage therapy this afternoon which obviously won't happen and I will sure need it very soon! 

 

Deductible on my house insurance is too high, so that won't kick in either

 

Surprisingly anxiety isn't all that high, just can't bear the clean up I'll have coming and wonder when I will sleep .  With luck, I might have the place put back together by Halloween!  I am just so pissed right now -commode was supposedly fixed yesterday - yep, he'll sure get a call!

 

It is now 4am and the fun continues...

 

My arthritis and fibro are kicking in big time

 

Sorry, but had to rant.....

[TryinginFL]

PS  Yes, I have another bathroom!

[FiveNotions]

oh, TFL, how horrid .. both that this happened ... and that you were up all night dealing with it!!!  I just read your note over in the clonidine thread about the sopping wet towels ... and washing them ...   and yes, the massage is very likely what you need ... but it will hurt .. yet help ... and be sure to do nothing, absolutely nothing but rest ... for today after you get home, and for the next couple of days!!

 

oh I wish I lived near you so you could have called me to come help you with this mess!! That would have given me something productive to do to take my mind off my own little issues ... in your post above, did you mean you called in a service to deal with this? And if yes, they actually came in the evening/night? wow, that's one small blessing!!

 

I'm sure the cleanup is expensive ... would you /could you bring yourself to ask your son(s) for a few shekels to defray the expense? Also, can you get your cleaning lady to come in to do any "final touches" to get everything back to "ship shape"?

Make sure you let yourself use your benzo today ... and anything else you take / can take for muscle and joint pain ... Aleve?

I sure am glad cheerleader Carleeta started this thread ... it's been getting quite a "work out" recently ...

 

PS ... great, just great ... just what I needed ... my new muslim neighbor(s) have just started blasting Arabic music into my apartment ...

[TryinginFL]

FN

 

Yes, Servicemaster works 24/7 for emergencies like this - thank God!  I am just about "over" living down here alone -  can't take much more of this.  Just sent a really graphic email to oldest son in Seattle asking him to please check out the 3-4 senior living places near him in No. Seattle.  These are government operated so one has to be in a certain "low income" bracket to qualify - no problem there!

 

Yes, I wish we were closer - we could help each other with our current upsets.  Surprisingly my anxiety isn't much, but I am just so PISSED OFF!  (And tired I might add...)

 

I hope your meds are helping you today - and you need rest too, my friend.

 

Just about time to leave - will check in later.

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

Liz

[TryinginFL]

PS  And crap!  Just what you need - Arabic music !!

[Carleeta]

Tryinginfl, oh my you poor thing. I can't imagine all you went through this morning. Thinking you most likely panicked for a second or two, then shifted into motivation gear making calls and cleaning up all this water. Yes lifting soak and wet towels and carrying them. Staying up hours when you needed sleep, having workers in your house. This is way too much for anyone to handle let alone you doing this by yourself. Please get those wet towels outdoors to at least getting them a bit dry before washing them.

I agree with FiveNotions, on seeing if someone can come in and help you. I myself wish I was there to help you, although honestly I couldn't help lift anything at the moment but I would find someone who could. I'd be calming you down and trying to cook for you.

My concern is also if you could possibly stay with a neighbor or get to a hotel to insure you won't be exposed to the dampness in your home, especially with your arthritic issues.

I agree also that maybe you need to get your message today, although you know best what you can and cannot handle at this point.

Wishing you the best, and please try and rest as much as you can today..

Hugs and prayers to you..

[Carleeta]

Tryinginfl, glad you called your son. I feel better you are thinking about moving closer to family. You'll definitely have less to worry about....

[ShadyLady]

FN, all I can do is cry for you...I am broken hearted. Seems like shit has hit the fan all around here while I was in the bin:0

TIF, oh vey! I think Seattle is a smart choice...I'll join you when I thaw;)