536 replies to this topic

[FiveNotions]

Oh, forgot to post my negative for the day ... I think my beloved heating pad is dying ... doesn't heat up all the way ... temperature-wise and size - wise ... only about half of it gets heated ... and not as hot as I need it ... so, tomorrow I'll pick up a new one... can't get along without one ...

[TryinginFL]

Hi Amy!

 

FN is right on about the Karma thing  -  you are so like me - I would have done the same!  But just move on...you did the best you could!

 

Regarding the appetite thing - I am also having a similar problem.  I can eat some cereal in the late morning and then a small meal around 4 or 430 and a lite snack in the evening - and that's on a good day!  Wonder if I should have some Ensure on hand.  If I don't eat, I can usually down a small Greek yogurt.

 

It really does seem that once a symptom has (we thought) left us, it comes back later.  I often wonder if this is what the rest of my life will be like.  After all, no one knows the long term effects of this discontinuation, do they?

 

Interesting "food" for thought - pun intended!

[TryinginFL]

Oh my,

 

It's time for the bagpipes and "Amazing Grace" for FN's heating pad....

[FiveNotions]

hahahahaha ... bagpipes ... Amazing Grace ... hahahaha

[Amysgarden]

Thanks, FN and TNFL. I've been away because my iPad died and I had to get a new one. That's a good moment, though... Got a replacement for less than half the cost of a new one through the out-of-warranty deal!

Anyway, I can usually eat a bit by noon through early evening, and the Ensure thing sounds like a really good idea. I totally gag these days on the protein bars I used to eat.

I'm learning to walk away, to let things go. I pray that the girl will be ok. It's hard when children are involved and are hurt by the bad decisions of their parents. I actually managed to juggle my schedule and do house cleaning for someone today and will be outdoors tomorrow. Rained today, but tomorrow should be nice. It's really difficult, physically, to pull 6-day weeks, but I'm grateful for the work.

FN, I don't know what I'd do without a heating pad!

[brzghoff]

um, i thnk there are posts missing from this thread - didn't we have a discussion about heated pants in relation to FN's heating pad issue? maybe that is somewhere else

 

my neg is a follow up to my nightmare with the health care marketplace last week. went to insurance agent today. we conferenced a call with the health care marketplace to ask why they dropped my subsidy. all 3 the reps we spoke with on the phone - we kept getting escalated - admitted that there is no reason that they can see as to why this happened and also acknowledged that the mistake is on their end but that the only way we can resolve it is to file a formal appeal with the appeals division. the process will take 90 days, which means next year. we can't afford to pay the full premiums. we will probably have to drop our healthcare for nov and december. i think i'll lock myself in a room just to be on the safe side. 

[Amysgarden]

Oh sheesh, brzghoff! Talk about idiot red tape! I swear they have to undergo training in the insurance industry to learn how to be as difficult and dysfunctional as possible!

[FiveNotions]

oh Brzghoff, I'm so sorry .. and really angry ... I have yet to meet anyone who's insurance / health care has actually been Improved since o-care was passed ... you, me, all my friends, have horror stories ... we're headed right back to where our grandparents and great g's were ... do it yourself, and either survive or die ... on your own ... your experience is absolutely unbelievable ... third world right here in America ...

[FiveNotions]

Brzghoff, I just posted this article in the "Cymbalta in the News" forum, but I'm putting it here so you won't miss it ...

Obamacare Shunts My Patients into Medicaid
http://www.cato.org/... Recent Op-eds)

[TryinginFL]

FN

 

Thanks for posting that article - this is pathetic.

[brzghoff]

oh Brzghoff, I'm so sorry .. and really angry ... I have yet to meet anyone who's insurance / health care has actually been Improved since o-care was passed ... you, me, all my friends, have horror stories ... we're headed right back to where our grandparents and great g's were ... do it yourself, and either survive or die ... on your own ... your experience is absolutely unbelievable ... third world right here in America ...

 

 

thank you. unfortunately i allowed the experience to really affect my mood - my bad. i have many things to take care of this week and i just shut down yesterday. i regained some energy and motivation late last night and managed to clean up our guest room  which we will be needing to use on friday. i have made some decisions that are enabling me to move on. i have decided to dip into our as of now meager savings, which we're already drawing on to supplement our income, and pay the full freight of $1217.17 per month for the next two. i don't need the anxiety of not having coverage so i'll keep it "just in case" . two years ago my brother in law dropped his coverage for two months. during that uncovered time he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.  the good news is that since his surgery and chemo a year and a half ago, he has been cancer free.

 

my husband and i would lose all our assets if that happened to us. our assets, are what actually generate our income right now.  I've been told that once the issue is resolved i will get those "tax credits" back in my tax refund - however i can't say i trust the system one bit. if we get the money back, it can go right back into that savings account - but i doubt we'll see it before june. i've already heard the "refund" process is not on track to be ready by filing time.  

 

its very important that i allow myself to move on. there is no benefit to "disturbing" myself with a situation that for the most part i can't control - and what i can i have in motion.  we have 23 family members gathering here at our house on sunday.  i sure wish carleeta was here - she'd know just how to handle such an event! its a lot on my plate. there are many things in my life for which i am thankful - so i will focus on them. 

[brzghoff]

Brzghoff, I just posted this article in the "Cymbalta in the News" forum, but I'm putting it here so you won't miss it ...

Obamacare Shunts My Patients into Medicaid
http://www.cato.org/... Recent Op-eds)

 

 

i heard this happened a lot in all the states with expanded medicaid. people with low incomes who were still able to pay their way and chose to not rely on government (taxpayer) dollars were forced into relying on the government and forced to accept a sub-par system. in states that don't have an expanded medicaid program the feds tell you you can't purchase what you want and we won't let you purchase through us either. they then point the finger at the states' legislature and say "its their fault not ours". let them at least keep the non compliant policy they had before. i understand some  got grandfathered in, but other insurance companies said no we are not going to go change everything back yet again. besides if their state did expand medicaid coverage, they end up in the situation described in the article. in other words, the new system encourages people not to work. if they try to get ahead they are penalized with the cost of healthcare, which is way higher now than before for those who already had coverage (not just premium cost, but co-pays and deductibles)

[Clara]

Just an FYI.. I just saw a Facebook post from Herman Cain that most people newly covered since Obamacare are on Medicaid! Yep, big O is doing a fine job getting everyone insurance that's affordable, keeping their doctors yada yada yada! Ok I'm done with this little rant!

[FiveNotions]

Yeah ... and another guy who's made some highly intelligent comments about o-care is Dr. Ben Carson ... formerly of Johns Hopkins U ... neurologist? neurosurgeon? something like that ... hugely respected in the medical community ... he's the guy we need for "ebola czar," or "surgeon general" ... or head of the "let's redo and f-up American healthcare" project ...

[TryinginFL]

I'm so tired of this negative - seems to happen more often than not.  If I didn't eat, maybe it wouldn't happen!

 

After about 3 hours of mild activity including an errand that took about 1 1/2 hours, I came home and had something to eat.  I was feeling extreme fatigue and within an hour of having eaten, I felt so sick that I ached all over and wasn't sure if I would pass out or throw up.

 

I have now been off the crap about 10 months, and can't believe I'm still going through this.  Guess I need to cut back amount of food at any given time, even though I am eating only about 1/2 of what I used to.

 

If this ever stops, I will then consider this "discontinuation" to be at its end...

 

On the good side - anxiety is all but gone!

[gail]

Morning Liz,

Anxiety is all but gone, what a relief!
Same here. But the fatigue after 2 hours of work is crushing, crushing crazy!

I have a small lunch and at times, I would like someone to spoon feed me, all I want is to get it over with and lie down.

Eight months here, we are close in discontinuation, and as you say, when this fatigue thing is over, even half over, I will consider myself over it all. Almost!

But, God, am I really happy for the anxiety to be way way down, and I know that you feel the same. I will take the fatigue any time over the paralyzing anxiety. Lovexxx

[ShadyLady]

Trick or Treat! Okay, whew, here I go...we were going to the kid's house for a Halloween Party and were leaving early to walk with the grands 12, 10 & 5 for the candy begging! I decided to put together a Real Housewives of Sun City (senior neighborhood we live in) costume. Beer cans for hair rollers, zebra print flannel jammies, ratty bright pink, chenille robe from thrift store, Ugg boots I covered with pink fur, scotch tape for crow's feet, a pink bandana I tied from neck to top of head to lift up neck lines, cold cream with green food coloring to look like a face mask...hmmm, that was the outfit! Okay, I had to have all my beautiful teeth pulled 5 years ago after dry mouth (from Cymshit & other meds) completely ruined my gums and bone:(. So I had 'designer' dentures that looked very natural. Couple of stories bout that, but another time! Three weeks ago I had eight steel posts drilled into the bone and am having new 'teeth' made to sit on the posts. Meanwhile, they used existing dentures and drilled holes and cut out the palate on the top denture so it doesn't gag with the old style plastic palate. So, for whatever dumbass reason, probably because its been painful while the posts heal and my upper 'dent' is too large now from bone loss. I have no idea why I'm getting so graphic to get to the meat of this post:( well, Miss ADD takes put the upper denture and set it next to me on the bed while I was painting my nails as the final touch to the costume.
My mixed terrier, mixed up is more like it, got my denture and I didn't know it...dogs were laying on the bed while I doing nails. I then look around to 'snap' it back in. No denture! Wtf, i shake the comforter, look on the carpet, question my sanity and walk in the family room and to my horror, Tootsie is chewing 'my teeth!' Really?! I pry it out of her mouth, she has apparently swallowed one of the front teeth and the 'canine!' tooth. Fk me!! I yell at the dog, she's so nervous now, like she has a peach seed stuck in her butt and going in circles. I then begin to feel tingling in my feet & arms (the first signs of a major panic attack for me!). Get a visual on my costume and two teeth missing in my 'teeth!' Total trailer trash granny look or old crystal meth head look! I am curled up on their big, round dog bed feeling like 'this is the big' for sure. Heart attack, I'm convinced because of the physical sensations of this anxiety attack of which I have not had one like this since the first one at age 30!

'Bildo' comes home and is trying to figure out why I'm lying on the dog bed, crying hysterically and dressed in this get up :0
I try and tell him through the lisp of having two teeth missing. He tries not to laugh but can't contain himself, I would've laughed. Y ass off too if I wasn't the dumb ass with the a jack-o-lantern smile with the beer cans in her hair, green cream mask and tape on her face crying and shaking.

I didn't go to the party, needless to say! Took two Xanax and drank some straight Scotch to calm my ridiculous looking ass down. That was an hour ago and had to post this as it is too f'ing unbelievable:0 Maybe, it will give someone,feeling a little down, a good laugh that will relieve some sadness!! Now, those missing teeth. What goes in must come out, right? Tootsie will not take a crap without me watching and then you fill in the blanks!! Disgusting! I cannot go 3 weeks with the hillbilly mouth until my new chops are finished, just had the molds taken this pas Wednesday. Anybody ever have to look for something in dog poo? Any suggestions!? She better shit my teeth or I am shit out of luck for 3 more weeks! So, in closing, hope you have a Happy Halloween, kids! I'm pretty much ready for bed, literally!

PS- Don't put green food coloring in cold cream and apply to face:(. Now I have a limeish tint left on cheecks, chin & forehead after my genius 'facial masque' idea along with the black hole of missing teeth. Seriously? Oy:/

[TryinginFL]

Shady,

 

This is too f***ing unbelievable!!  You are so adept at telling a story that you could win something with this one!!

 

Needless to say, I am so sorry that you are suffering this plight, but omg, this is just too funny!  You poor thing - now having to wait for the dog to poop out your teeth!!

Since you took 2 Xanax and the scotch, are you beginning to settle down?  Hopefully you are not still in the dog bed...

 

I can picture you - green face mask and all!  Oh, my dear girl...

 

I am feeling so bad for you, really.  I pray that your "cocktail" has begun to work.

 

My love and hugs, sweet friend,

Liz

 

PS the grandz would have loved your look!!

[ShadyLady]

Thanks, Lizzie;) I re-read my post:( who writes their insanity down except me with the help of my uninhibited calm after the "cocktail!"

Update. Fed Toots an extra helping of supper. She crapped on cue! Too dark to mess with the 'shit' tonight, so I put a paper plate over it with a Better Homes and Gardens magazine on top to make sure i can find it in the morning...big grass backyard. Gotta make sure I do my excavation project before 7am when sprinkler system comes on and messes with the shit, if you know what I mean;) Those teeth better be in there! I ain't tellin' nobody my 'shit' except here on the forum, teehee. Say a prayer I find them pearlies in the pile.

Yes, the grandz would've loved the costume and the jack-o-lantern smile even more! Just making memories this year with the tales of withdrawal/discontinuation! xxxxx

[TryinginFL]

I like your "marker" for the pile!  Just don't be too upset if your "pearlies" aren't there - it may depend on her digestive system and could take 2 poops to come out! 

 

I wish you luck in your search  - ooo fun! - and then you take them to the dentist (after you clean them off, of course!)?  OMG...

 

I will never forget this - this is one of the funniest (but sadly, true) stories I have ever read!

 

Please take good care of you - and happy hunting!    Thanks so much for sharing!

[brzghoff]

shady: that is hysterical! i hate to admit it but your negative was my positive! you are a GREAT storyteller! you painted such a picture. i worked in radio for over 20 years and i would have loved to have had you tell that story on the air. i can heat it now...

 

i am truly sorry you had to go through that ordeal, but i suspect you feel pretty good right about now. alcohol gives me anxiety most of the time these days, ever since i quit the C. but i suppose if i'd taken a couple xanax with the scotch, i would be feeling alright - single malt i hope ;-)

[gail]

Shady, what a story teller you are!

 

Talented, I could see it all in my mind and could not help to laugh my head off. Beer cans for rollers, your hair must be very long.

 

Ever thought of writing  a book? never read something so funny, I wonder how you manage to turn a drama event into something so hilarious.

 

Keep on writing, no need for me to go to the library for books anymore, you are it! the best

[gail]

Shady, have the goods been delivered or should I say shitted?

[Jones]

I've been laughing at this all day. So glad it had a happy end..ing

[DoneWithCrap]

Not having a good day. So depressed I can't get beyond this. IWIWD

[brzghoff]

Not having a good day. So depressed I can't get beyond this. IWIWD

 

Renee,

 

I am so sorry, it sounds like you are hurting very much. Thank you for letting us know, we are here and are glad that you are here with us. Please let us know how we can help. We care and are thinking about you.

[FiveNotions]

Renee, is it anything in particular, or just "everything in general"? I'm not liking the "IWIWD" part, especially .... ditto to Brz .... let us know what's going on and how we can help!

[TryinginFL]

Renee, I agree with both Brz and FN....how can we help you??  Please come back and tell us how you are feeling and what is causing it...

[DoneWithCrap]

I can't do anything right. I'm trying to make quilt blocks for my quilts of valor group. I need to hand stitch the binding onto each block. My hands are so rough that the thread keeps getting caught up in the dead skin and it gets knotted up and tangled.
I got several orders for dog collars and leashes at the art show last weekend. I made two of the collars (the kind that have probes for an invisible fence). I don't like how they came out so I didn't charge the woman for them. She loved them and paid me $35 for them then ordered another collar and a leash. I feel quilts taking money for inferior work. I just don't want to make this stuff anymore. I know what I make is as good or better than what you can buy on line but it isn't as good as I would like it to be.
I showed up to a doctors appointment an hour early today. I thought I was running late and didn't have time to shower. Wound up waiting an hour to hear that my test results are all normal. This should be good news but I'm in so much pain I just want them to find something wrong with me so that it can be cured. Telling me that there is nothing wrong means there is nothing they can do to reduce the pain I'm in.
I feel like everything I do or say is for nothing. I put all my energy into doing things only for it to come out half assed.
My husband was gone last weekend getting re certified for Serve Safe. He doesn't work in the food industry. He just wanted to be certified. This past weekend he spent getting re certified in Wilderness First responder/First aid. Another certification that he will never use. The weekend before Serve Safe, he got certified as a personal trainer. The only person he trains is himself. He seems to find anything in the world to do besides spend time with me. I told him I was suicidal and he did ask if it was due to anything in particular. I said I just feel like a useless piece of crap. He suggested I take a nap.
I feel quilts that I'm not doing enough with my kids but they don't seem to care if I'm around or not. They are too busy with their video games. I bought material to make some skirts with my daughter. She chose the pattern and fabric. When I ask her if she wants to start making a skirt, she sais not now.
I would go to the er but it is not worth the money. They would probably just send me home with a gun. Ha ha ha. I don't need a gun. I have all I need in my medicine cabinet. Fml
Sorry for taking up your time. I appreciate all of you for listening to me. I feel like nobody else will listen. I also know that If I were dead they would all suddenly be devastated that I'm gone.
I have agreed to do nothing for a week. If I still feel this way next week, I will follow through with my plan. No sense ruining Thanksgiving for my family.

[brzghoff]

renee,

 

you certainly have a lot that you are trying to juggle and it sounds like you feel you're having to deal with it all on your own. i admire your desire to put out good quality products such as the leashes and quilts. it appears that in at least one case the leashes you made met if not exceeded your cutomer's expectations even though they didn't meet your high standards. how awesome is that?

 

it is unfortunate that your husband doesn't realize how indifferent he comes across to you. a house full of family, yet you feel alone. men can think they're being sensitive, want to be sensitive, but end up screwing up in that department! from how you've described him it sounds like he cares he just needs to work on his "skills". is your daughter a teen? sounds like it. its true kids dont seem to care - but they do. they can be very self absorbed - which for us parents feels like we're insignificant to them. i was terrible to my parents and didn't even know it. i loved them very much - and still do. 

 

if you follow through with your "plan", it doesn't matter whether its thanksgiving or not - the results are devastating no matter what. having you as a wife and mother is more important to them then a meal. what you are feeling will not last forever but bad decisions can. please keep reaching out to us. i must go to bed, but i am thinking of you and hope you will get some rest. every day is different. 

 

with care