2348 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

Nothing egotistical whatsoever Hat. You have done your learning - still do. You have an aptitude for digesting, not only reading. This is the difference as I see in the academic field. Anyone can READ something, but to put it into context and learn by it is what matters. This is why I have a lot of time and respect for you - always will. It is also very important to voice opinions as you say. We learn from others consideration of problems and facts, and of course, when there is a mistake, we learn from that just as much! 

 

I know I was late joining the family, but rest assured I will be around... learning, reading and loving.

[invalidusername]

Hi man...

 

Bit better today so can do a reply as I always like to! Thank you for your prayers - it has been very trying over the last 48 hours. I have just had enough of all the dizziness and being confined to the bed. I tried to go out to see my friend as I usually do at the weekend, and ended up turning around and coming home. I just couldn't concentrate. That made me so low as I always look forward to seeing her and the family. Then the inevitable "what if" questions came and bought me to a very nasty low.

 

That said, whilst I did wake up dizzy again today, it did evaporate into head fog mid afternoon which meant I got a 35 minute walk in and got some sun. Still very weak though - but look who I am saying this to. I guess I had an insight into what your every day walk must me. 

 

Goodness... those damn forms! Lets look at this logically. 48 hours before would have been Saturday... they more than likely don't work Saturday, so if you get it there for first thing in the morning I don't think there will be an issue. They will miss out on the cost of the appointment too, so I am saying all will be well. But wow, that has come rounf quickly. I had it in my head as next week. Well, time for me to say I will be thinking of you every step of the way and will of course be in prayers at several intervals. Am also very excited as you know! I know you don't want to get hopes up, but it is another throw of the hoop that may well end up winning you a fish!

 

Sorry to hear about your day too - do you think it will have something to do with all the stress that has accrued about the treatment? Quite likely. I know that doesn't help, but sometimes having something logical to blame can make us a little more comfortable.

 

Your thread here has generated a lot of love today - nice that it has coincided with your little trip tomorrow! You can take all these words with you knowing that your family here will be thinking and praying for you. I really wish I could be coming along with you for support... can you imagine... Gail, Hat, Liz, NM and myself all hanging around the hospital waiting for you to come out like a zombie on crack... and high as a kite

 

It will be an experience for the record books my brother. You are the pioneer going forward to the uncharted territory. Every time the Special K gets mentioned here on the forum from this day forth, it will be the name LDN that they will hear. 

 

Now that's something to be proud of. 

 

I love you man.

 

God Bless

[TryinginFL]

I must agree with you, FH  

 

I have never been so blessed as to be with such kind, wonderful and helpful people.

 

I love you all

[gail]

Liz, I feel that I'm so blessed also. I feel a bond with you all. Special!

[gail]

Sweet London,

Bring a picnic for the gang! We will be with you all the way. I'll be thinking of you.

Before the ketamine kicks in, do have beautiful images in your mind. You will surely fall Asleep during the perfusion. You may see all of us in your lalaland.

We all can't wait to hear about your experience.

I took my evening meds early, at 6.30pm. I feel Gaga, a good feeling! It spares me the evening depression. Each word that I write must be checked twice, that's how gaga I am.

About the poems, subject God and depression please. I'm so eager to read them. We might want to show a poem to the forum?????? Ok, gaga is going to bed. Love you to the moon. Xxxx

[LDN]

Oh wow lots and lots of love on here today! Such good energy! Beautiful! 

 

What a family!! 

 

Love to all of you

[LDN]

Hey man 

 

Got to be a bit short tonight because need early night before up early (for me) to Oxford! Lol I say early night and it's currently 2:40 am, early for me i should have said!! 

 

Yeah feeling nervous can't lie. Hopefully should be ok, my dad made the same point as you made about it being a Saturday. Still it's in their court. Got to be honest the ECT not working broke me, as I told you. I can't let that happen again. I was speaking to my psychiatrist about it and she said I should have anxiety about if it doesn't work, as it will make the experience less pleasant. I asked her how to not get anxious and she said just expect it won't work. Treat it like I'm trying a new antidepressant. To be honest I have quite a few worries if It does work as well, like it's dependance and no record of long term use. The doctor I spoke to mentioned both these. Anyway God brought me to this forum, so I can trust him. To be honest i have had ECT and in Germany I had a treatment that can potentially kill you. I had to sign a form saying you consent to the possibility of death haha. One of the guys there said when he say the form he almost went back to England but thought I've flown all the way over now. It's called hyperthermia treatment. They sedate you and then heat your body up to a temperature you wouldn't be able to cope with awake. They keep you hydrated with IV's, it lasts a good few hours. When they wake you up when it's done your so exhausted that you sleep for the rest of the day and then all night. So the treatment starts at like 8 am to 2 pm or something and then you sleep from 2 pm till 6 or 7 the next morning, while they give you IVs. I did it twice. The first time was tough, I was moaning in such pain and my mum had to sleep in the bed next to me. It's also used for cancer. The heat is meant to kill the lyme. So anyway, I have had a few adventures in my time, so this just adds to the list. 

 

So you on the other side lol!! Haha yeah wish you could come. To be honest I do hope I have a great trip, I heard some great stories!! Hoping for some crazy visions definitely. I'm going 'day tripping', did ever play that in the band? 

 

Really sorry about your weekend. Will be praying tonight. Well done for getting out though!! It's so tough right now for you man, wish I could magic it away! But I think your handling it great! 

 

Will be praying for you

 

Love you

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Gail 

 

So sorry about your day. Always be honest. It been so tough for you these last few months. What a hero, MY HERO!!

 

GOD AND JOY WILL BE BACK, THEY WILL BE BACK!!!!!

 

Good luck tomorrow for you too!! I will be praying! 

 

Happy the evening meds helped, have a wonderful sleep! 

 

So I have my adventure tomorrow, hopefully meet you and the guys in the visions, I really do! Before I will imagine all of us having a picnic! 

 

I love you to the moon my dear!!!!!

 

AMOUR AMOUR AMOUR

[fishinghat]

Thanks NM. Sometimes in my mind I feel like I overreach and especially with my age the memory isn't as good as it use to be. lol I just need to start doing better fact checking before I make a statement because the memory probably won't get any better with age.

[fishinghat]

Well, learned something new today thanks to LDN. Interesting but risky therapy. Not sure I am ready to give this a try.


Whole-body hyperthermia


Control of depression

https://jamanetwork....article/2521478
When compared with the sham group, the active WBH group showed significantly reduced Hamilton Depression Rating Scale scores across the 6-week postintervention study period

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/28619470
Whole-body hyperthermia and citalopram independently increased body temperature and acted synergistically to induce antidepressant-like behavioral responses

Details of methodology

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/12139385
a Phase I clinical trial has been completed in which all patients were safely heated to 42 or 42.5 degrees C for 2 h and survived the 30-day study period.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.../pubmed/6467239
This research discusses three techniques used for delivery of whole-body hyperthermia

https://www.ncbi.nlm.../pubmed/6467240
Whole-body hyperthermia imposes severe stress on cardiopulmonary and renal function. In this series, elevation of temperature from 38 degrees to 41.5 degrees raised cardiac output to approximately 200% of control, while oxygen consumption rose 35%. General anesthesia provides conditions which allow for more precise control and support of vital signs, fluid requirements, and blood gases.

Control of anxiety

https://www.huffpost...4b0f143d10e0ef1

[gail]

Hello my dear friend London,

Getting ready here for the hospital radiotherapy treatment. My bath has been ready for two hours. I feel jammed in front of my tablet. Not feeling quite good, I so miss that joy, that profound gratitude, the smiling, gone since December, a long time to wait.

At this time, you should be back home. Wishing you the best London!

Drinking camomille tea, I love it. Instead of complaining about my fate, I will come back later my soul mate. Amour amour et toujours amour.

[fishinghat]

Gail, by any chance are you taking vitamin C?

[LDN]

Hello everybody I will be brief and do more detail later. If I could have your prayers as I am struggling. 

 

I had a very very intense trip on the ketamine. I thought I was dying, completely out of my body. I then woke up and was out of it for a bit but felt okay. Then depression has hit me unbelievably bad. For the last 3 hours I have been in unbearable pain and it's only getting worse. I'm just too sensitive. Every treatment I try seems to make me worse. Not sure how much more left I've got in me. Since I was doing well I shouldn't have risked this treatment. I feel I have made a huge mistake. I haven't felt this depressed since March. Every thing I do seems to be wrong. I can never make a right decision. What have I done to myself?? Just so much mental pain right now. So much pain. I am confused with why God has sent this. 

 

I'm so sorry. 

 

Love to all of you

[LDN]

Gail 

 

I hope your radiotherapy went well. I was thinking of you. 

 

As you will see above I'm on my knees right now. HUGE huge depression, it tearing me apart. All I can do is pray.

 

I love you forever my angel

 

I will write more later. 

[invalidusername]

My dear brother - I thought this may be the case, but know that it is not something that should happen in all case right after the treatment;

 

"Some patients will begin to feel better within hours of the first infusion. Patients with thoughts of self-harm often notice those thoughts dissipating first. There can be a dramatic relief of dread and hopelessness. Other patients may not notice any mood improvement until the next day. Some patients will require a second (or even a third) infusion before feeling better."

 

Source: http://www.ethosclin...sked-questions/

 

All the same, I will drop tools now and send a prayer your way. What you have done is incredible. Best thing you can do is rest as best you can. Only write back later if you can.

[invalidusername]

Another one - please do not read anything into this early part;

 

IF KETAMINE THERAPY IS WORKING FOR ME, HOW SOON WILL I BEGIN TO FEEL BETTER OR NOTICE A DIFFERENCE?

For some people they can experience positive effects within an hour of finishing the infusion. For others, they will not notice an effect until after their second or third infusion. Commonly the effect is gradual and subtle, noticing thoughts of sadness and hopelessness to begin to lift and go away. Occasionally some people may have a dramatic effect. Function (going out, doing things you enjoy, work) improve before mood does. With improved function you are able to more fully participate and engage in your treatment plan, thus improving your success rate!

 

Source: https://www.resetketamine.com/faq

[invalidusername]

One more!!

 

For mood disorder patients, some will begin to feel better within the first week. Thoughts of hopelessness and suicidal ideations often begin to lift and dissipate. Most patients begin to notice improvement after the second week. It is important to note that although the results of ketamine can be sudden and dramatic, more commonly they are gradual and subtle.

 

Source:https://www.myinitia...on-therapy-faq/

[gail]

Gail, by any chance are you taking vitamin C?

Sporadically FH. Why? Also Omega recently started.

[gail]

Oh my sweet London,

We are all here rooting for you my love. So sorry for what you went through. I just lit your candle with a prayer. You will be fine by Tomorrow. You did what you thought the best for you.

Rest, write only if you feel to. With love, Gail

[fishinghat]

Sporadically FH. Why? Also Omega recently started.

Vitamin C interferes with radiotherapy.

[gail]

Good to know, why don't they tell us that? Good thing that I didn't take much. Thank you sir!

[fishinghat]

Your very welcome Gail.

[invalidusername]

Back again for a quick message - but will make it brief as there is a lot here for you to digest already and I know you will be tired after today.

 

You need to take each day as it comes now. Whenever things hit rock bottom, my comfort is that it can only go one way... and that is better. No-one can say what will happen in the next few days, or in the next couple of infusions, but you are still sitting on the fence with what has been said. Select few have the wonderful benefits hit hours after the very first infusion, and I read somewhere earlier that this has been dressed up on purpose to make more people get the treatment, whereas the reality is that it is closer to a gradual process. So let's just keep this going - we'll all be here with you.

 

And Gailage... what a day to have you stuff going on too! I have only just read all of the other messages. There is so much going on at the moment! Hope you are feeling ok after the RT... knowing that it can leave you feeling a bit funny. Really hope you are resting well as I write.

 

What a day!

 

Love and Blessings to you both.

[LDN]

Fishinghat I never knew about hyperthermia for depression. You know that's really interesting because after I had hyperthermia my depression got better and we never why. That's really exciting, thank you so much for those links! 

 

I hope you are well. 

 

God Bless

[LDN]

NM thank you so much. I'm washed out here, what a day. Just taking stock of everything! Anyway lots of love to you and hope your well!

 

God Bless

[gail]

Hello my friend,

I want to check something with you first. You have mentioned in one post that you had had a psychotic depression. Am I right? If so, Ketamine doesn't work on psychotic disorders nor on schizophrenia. You might want to check that out.

Oh how you gave us quite a scare yesterday. As I read your pm, I was so relieved. In fact, it was a good trip. Flying all around the cosmos, I will let you describe what you went through.
The worst part was the depression big time afterwards.

Prayers were said and candles were lit, I hope that you see all the love and compassion we have for you. You have so much love to bring to the forum. You may want to check you tube for the song /I Have chosen you/ by Don Francisco.

I read in your posts that you have tried ECT and Hyperthermia Treatment. Man, you went a long way to get well! Lots of guts!

I feel good this morning. I can rarely say that. Yeah! Energy to do things in the house and I may go out. I need a few things and need to go to post office.

I'll be back later, love you all, Gail

Almost 7pm here. Edmund, I had such a great day, feeling so normal mentally. Haven'ts seen that in months. I needed two naps today, it's ok.

The musketeers, such a loving group. You brought that, you are responsible, why? Because of your love my dear. In five years, this never happened. Thanks for making this unique and so special.

As you see, I couldn't go out. I was on the verge of getting my wee parcel weighed and mailed. Tomorrow perhaps?😀

About that question to God, I would say spread His love any way you can.

So happy that your brother is there for you, a good buddy that you have!

To the pleasure of reading you sweet soul, mucho amor para ti. Gail xxxx

[invalidusername]

Morning all (afternoon NM and LDN!)

 

Glad you are feeling good today Gailage - enjoy every minute! Just don't overdo it like I always do! Odd that it is always the post office that so frequently comes up in our posts here! It is forever a source of anxiety - that place has a lot to answer for

 

Certainly was a bit of a scare yesterday with our LDN. Uncharted territory and all that. Can only begin to image what was going through your mind man. Makes you wonder how they first came up with this as a treatment. But if it has been FDA approved, there has to be something significant in it - and the statistics still stand - it is just the time in which it takes for it to work has been a bit of a white lie. But then again, it does work that quick for some, but not in all cases - but still inevitably quicker than AD's. Still much to learn, and you are very brave to be the forerunner. 

 

Well, here goes Tuesday - let's see where it takes us all