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#1201 invalidusername

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 06:12 PM

Man... I am so shattered!!

 

I did it again. I started working - albeit from home - at 4pm and didn't stop until just after 10pm. Another 6+ hours. First week back after Christmas has never been this manic. I really need to keep an eye on it. Stress can get to me really quickly. Building work wasn't as bad this morning but I had anxious dreams again which I played out in my head. I dreamt that I was exhausting myself through various means and when I woke I was just the same. It was a nasty state and had to rest before doing anything - just like you had about your legs that time before.

 

The meditation helped last time so I am sure it will help again, just need to let it catch up with me again after so long not doing enough. 

 

The picture you paint of the builders is a nightmare. I should be at least grateful that they do not have a radio. They are right beneath my window, and there were ban saws and all sorts today. Not nice, but it sounds like he has enlisted more man power, so I am hoping that means he wants it done quickly and thus, the noise will be short lived. But yes, there is building work doing on all over the place. From my window, I can see FOUR building with scaffolding. There is not a quiet moment at all during the day, which when you sleep the hours we do, is so difficult. It only takes someone to drop a piece of piping and CLANG! You are awake.

 

Again, massive congrats on the hour plus stuff! That is the way to counteract this anxiety - you show it who's boss!! Glad you reflected on the Claire Weekes stuff - I would suggest you read them but I think you have already got your own way of it which is very similar to her own - and besides, yours is biological and her method is more situational - although one can easily become the other. Her books are relatively cheap on places like Amazon and eBay, so might be worth have a scan through one as I owe a lot to them.

 

I'm very sorry, but I am going to have to cut it short here as I can feel myself getting too worked up. I am typing so fast and making so many mistakes!! I need to relax and make sure I get my meditation in before I get too tired.

 

Hope you have had a good day - much love brother

 

God Bless


#1202 LDN

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Posted 08 January 2020 - 11:56 PM

Hey man! Firstly a massive congrats for another 6 hour day!!! Incredible!! But very wise of you to take it easy tonight! Funnily I had a anxious dream as well last night! So it will be quite confusing to explain but I will give it a go. I was dreaming that people were coming into my bedroom and bothering but I thought this isn't real this is just a dream. Then still in the dream I woke up and realised it wasn't a dream and people had come into my room and disturbed me and I couldn't believe and this made me stressed. Then I finally woke up and realised IT WAS A DREAM after all!! And thankfully I hadn't been bothered during the night!! So I thought I was dreaming in a dream, that then turned out not to be a dream but then I woke to realise the whole thing was a dream! Confused? LOL!! My head hurts from just thinking about it! LOL!! 

 

Today was a bit better for me. I listened to some music last night and this morning on my outside walk went to the shops. We had run out of bread and no one was home. I must admit it felt great. For so long I couldn't even walk to the local Sainsbury's if I wanted something, had to get somebody to do it for me. So it felt really amazing to just go and get something I need, so casually. I had no anxiety in the shop as well. I know you go shopping a lot, but I am a long way back, so for me it felt really exciting. Just felt more independent. Then I got back and was in the garden. Got in another 40 minutes today!! Then just be resting and chatting to my brother and dad. Anxiety has been pretty low key so far, so increasing the dose of the C8 MCT is looking promising! 

 

Got a bit of headache here and need to calm my mind a bit before bed. It is racing a bit at the moment. I will have a look at the Claire Weekes stuff. Thanks again! 

 

I will keep praying brother! Hopefully that extra man power means it will be a quicker job as you say! 

 

Again well done today brother!! But as you say, don't push yourself too much and keep things steady! 

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!


#1203 invalidusername

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Posted 09 January 2020 - 06:36 PM

Hey brother...

 

I've done it again. And it is nothing to be proud of, but started at 1pm and stopped about 20 minutes ago when I just sent a PM to Polly. Nearly 10 hours with a 20 minute break for lunch. That is insane. I honestly don't know how I am managing this, but I have called ahead and told clients who are waiting for stuff that they will be pushed into next week. I am having half of tomorrow off. I need to. Otherwise it will get to the weekend and I will burnout. I've had a great day seeing lots of people, but it will come at a price if I don't reel it in.

 

Now this dream that you mentioned - believe it or not - I have these myself! They are so strange. I sure it is a documented phenomenon - something like a double dream state or something.

 

Ah - just had a Google. It is part of lucid dreaming, but it is known as false awakening;

 

"A false awakening is a vivid and convincing dream about awakening from sleep, while the dreamer in reality continues to sleep. After a false awakening, subjects often dream they are performing daily morning rituals such as showering, cooking, cleaning, eating, and using the bathroom.
 
False awakenings are dreams that seem like waking life… until you get out of bed and fall down a bottomless chasm. True story. False awakenings can be frustrating, terrifying, and may even begin to impact your daily life, especially when they occur 5 or more times in a row.
 
The good news is that false awakenings can be managed with a few cognitive tricks and practices. FAs are basically pre-lucid dreams, as the dreamer is questioning reality. In many cases though, the dreamer actually cannot figure out if she is dreaming or not. Until the world is revealed to be an illusion!
 
It is our ability to think clearly in a false awakening that causes us to assume we’re awake. We’re not awake, we’re aware. So dealing with false awakenings necessitates a crash course in lucid dreaming."

 

Glad that the day was better for you and great that you got some music in - I really don't know where I would be without music myself. It is really healing for me - as I am sure it was and will be again for you in due course. Again, it is another one of those things that I wish I could understand that is going on in your head. It is such a strange diagnosis - is it something that happens with people that have had Lymes, or is it something more exclusive to you?

 

Something that really hit me that I wanted to mention to you after you said about the shopping trip that you need to realise. What you are doing is far more amazing than you are giving yourself credit for. For most people with anxiety that are indoors a fair bit of the time, "just" nipping down the shops will be a mammoth task and invite huge amount of fear. Usually, if they go out for a certain amount of time, they get used to it, and then something like that doesn't seem nearly as bad. But to just go out and do something like that for the sake of doing it and not have any anxiety is huge. Really it is.

 

You don't HAVE to do that, but you chose to do it. That is another part of it. For me, the shopping NEEDS to be done otherwise I will starve - the wife won't do anything. This is why mine is more stress than anxiety. But can you imagine that once you are out in the big wide world and doing other stuff like me, your anxiety will be non-existent man! It will - I am telling you. You take anyone and leave them in the house for the time you are, and they will get cabin fever - sure you have had a lot of practise at it, but you are doing better than anyone else in the same situation. Just need to you realise that man!!

 

Oh, and sleep was better last night. I meditated right after dinner so I wasn't tired and got a good 45 minutes in again. Still a little bit anxious in the dream state and tired when I woke, but better. Will make sure to do the same again tonight and hopefully have even better news tomorrow!

 

Love you so much my brave brother...

 

God Bless


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#1204 LDN

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Posted 09 January 2020 - 11:09 PM

Hey brother! Really really lovely and kind words from you! Thank you for that! That was so nice to hear after today, which was a really tough one. Again thanks man for such kindness and love!! That was quite emotional for me to read!! Bless you man!! 

 

So last night was weird. It got to bed time and I just wasn't tired at all. Not one bit. And felt restless. I knew if I got in bed I wouldn't sleep. I felt like listening to music again. So I did listen to some music again, for the 3rd night in a row! I hadn't listened to music for 3 weeks before Monday!!! That is the chaos theory in effect!! Like London buses LOL! Then went to bed and even then it took me a while and I felt restless. I think it is this C8 MCT oil, it gives you so much energy!! And I am on a very small dose as well! My Lyme doctor told me to expect a big increase in mental energy and told me I needed to be prepared for how to use it. 

 

Then this morning I woke up to bad anxiety and it has been with me all day. Around 8 pm ish it suddenly increased and then for a good few hours I was in a very very uncomfortable state. After such a good day yesterday, today has been so hard. It is this massive swing. Those shock you the most. When you have been doing well and then you get hit by a bad patch. I did start re taking a supplement on Tuesday, so it could be that is kicking in. I have no idea. Honestly it the decisions that is getting to me. The anxiety is out of my control. But having to decide what supplements to take and when and to juggle all these contradictory advice is very very stressful. Going back on the C8 MCT saved Christmas for me, so I know that the decisions I take with these supplements can make a massive difference. Effectively right now I am just a lab rat and trying things out on myself. But if I don't try things out I won't get to the bottom of this. I have to know face up and sort this out. 

 

Depression snuck in this afternoon and when you have that combination of depression and anxiety together that is really nasty. But my main concern is the toil of these decisions. Also you have to give things a few days, so you know that is wasn't just a freak day. So that means potentially carrying on taking a supplement that is causing anxiety to truly know if that is the the culprit. The whole thing is draining, but at least I have my Lyme doc. He called it right with going back on the C8 MCT and understand the nutrition side of depression and anxiety in a way that most p doc haven't been trained. Also fishinghat is being incredibly helpful. 

 

It is great the C8 MCT is giving me so much more energy, it is like a magic potion LOL! But it is slightly difficult to navigate suddenly having a big burst of energy, because you then have to use up the energy. This means having to adjust my routine and change things on the spot. This is why I prefer gradual change, because you can go step by step, rather than changing lots of things all at once. I can't believe I am complaining about having too much energy, but as I lay restless in bed last night I thought to myself I just don't have a framework at this time to channel this new energy. 

 

My mum and sister got back tonight from holiday, been away since Wednesday last week! Nice for some! LOL!! 

 

What a day for you man!! And how wonderful to hear you enjoyed it as well!! That really is music to my ears!!! But you are very wise to take things steady tomorrow. It is all about the management and getting that right balance. Sounds like you are doing great in that regard! Also pleased to hear you got some good meditation in again! 45 minutes is really excellent! That is great discipline from you and motivation! Well done man!! 

 

In the terms of my music I think it depends on if Lyme gets into the brain or not. If it does then people can be very sensory sensitive. I have heard of people having to stay in their bedrooms with curtains closed all day because they can't cope with light. Also people who have to constantly wear special sunglasses. For me it music that is my sensitivity. As my Lyme doctor said if you have an inflammation on your skin, like a spot, it will hurt if you prod it. So the part of the brain that processes music, is likely inflamed for me, so listening to music is like prodding the spot. That was the analogy he gave. That is why I take some anti inflammatories, like curcumin. Large doses of melatonin are also used for anti inflammation as well.

 

Thanks for that info about my dream!! Very interesting stuff!! 

 

I will continue to pray, but am so happy you enjoyed your day! I was really looking forward to coming on here tonight after today, so thank you for being there for me brother!! 

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless! 


#1205 invalidusername

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Posted 10 January 2020 - 06:31 PM

Hey brother...

 

Really happy that I helped you out with my words yesterday, but it was all truth - nothing there to help make you feel better under false considerations - I see this situation in the wife all the time. She simply cannot "get up and get out". Nor can a lot of people. They need to work their way into these things - they need time and composure. So honestly, when I read that you were able to just pick yourself up and trundle off down the road and get some bread without a second though and endure no anxiety really did amaze me. No doubt I would have a bit of an issue with doing that. I would - but it might be a little uncomfortable first thing without "priming" my anti-anxiety skills first.

 

I did better today. No quite half a day. I managed to stop at 7 hours, but I did stop myself going any further when I could easily have done so. I am seeing my weekend friend tomorrow and I need to catch up on study, but that is it for the weekend. No calls, no email etc. I am semi-going off the grid!! But I will still be here on the forum of course :)

 

Thanks for explaining the music thing - makes sense - I like how your Lymes doc put it. What I do know is that inflammation of the brain can take some healing, it can go back and forth depending on the rest of your circumstances and life commitments. But wonderful that it is showing signs of improvement. So was it the same thing for the reading then?  Strange how that just suddenly stopped though. I wonder if the same will happen with the music in that one day it will come and never give you an issue again?! Amazing things to consider from an outsiders perspective - maybe not so for you - sorry brother!! Didn't mean it like that... to think of yourself more or a lab rat. Which again, I can completely see. And the C8 hypothesis makes perfect sense to me - all that energy with nowhere to go.

 

So back to the anxiety and the depression - man, I am sorry. I REALLY do think it is a lot down to the pressure that is being thrust upon you over these decisions. The issue as I see it is that you are asking yourself questions that have no definitive answers, so the questions and consequences are going round and round in your head and not giving you time out. This will cause the anxiety, and then when the anxiety has been around just that little bit too long, then the depression cuts in too. I really think this has a lot to do with it. All very easy to say to change your outlook on it, but its not that easy. Not outlook per se, more of a perspective. Accepting that only one thing can happen at a time, but you need a "to-do" list. If you can get the list of possibles from the various minds that are working on it, and then have a plan of action as to how you will do the tried and tested phases, you will at least have a time scale and knowing that you will be doing something - does that make sense? 

 

But my 10 cents, but I feel you would do better with some direction and time span as this will stop those things going round your head without direction and stop some of the anxiety, which in turn will curb the depression.

 

Right - so I need to keep listening to the words that I am being told and to take things easy this weekend. I can still find myself pumped with adrenaline and typing with loads of mistakes still. I need to slow down!! I am still stopping for a while every time I get in the car - taking a minimum of 5 mindful breaths. The first time, just before I finished I got the memory of the sleeping in heaven you mentioned. Now, if I had just got in the car, turned the key and went, that would not have happened... but I didn't... and it did! It made the journey to the first client that much better with the way I was thinking. Makes a lot of difference...

 

Hear from you soon man...

 

Much much love dear brother

 

God Bless


#1206 LDN

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Posted 10 January 2020 - 11:37 PM

Hey brother! Send you a PM as lots of things are building up for right now!!! 

 

Today I met my replacement p doc, while the other is on maternity leave. Obvious it was only one session but he went way over time and he seemed to open to my spiritual/quantum physics approach to life, so that was great. Also he said of drugs they are like using 'a sledgehammer when you need to have neurosurgery', so it was good to hear he wasn't an all out drugs guy! He didn't act like I was too 'out there' with my ideas but seemed to enjoy the conversation, so that was reassuring. He was a nice guy as well. I think he 'got me' which is the main thing! 

 

Had bad anxiety this morning but this afternoon and evening it has been milder. I am just knackered right now though! 

 

Really interesting points you make and I agree completely. I do have some form of time frame, but the problem is you have to give something a few days to gather evidence, but then I'm thinking to myself 'this supplement I added is making me anxious and yet I have to keep taking it, I could stop all this if I stopped taking it'. Does that make sense? It is like I have to suffer to gather the evidence and that is quite tough. But it is something I have to do. 

 

Man sounds like another great day for you!! 7 HOURS for a half day!!! That is how well you are doing brother!!! Incredible stuff!! Honestly from outside it is an inspiration and pleasure to see how brave you are!! So pleased for you!! Also really fantastic you are looking after yourself and giving yourself some breaks even though your are doing so well! That is a really tough skill to learn!! As you say you could do more and that takes massive discipline to not get carried away. Super stuff!!

 

Ok man really tired here and also I have given you so much reading!! So apologies for that!! As I say a bit mental right now!! 

 

Thanks again for your support brother!! I can't put into words how much I value sharing this journey with you!! 

 

Love you so much! 

 

God Bless!


#1207 fishinghat

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 01:12 PM

This has been very interesting.
 
Lyme Disease is something that effects many people in my area.

ACG Glutathione spray x 3 a day

Ingredients
Acetyl L-Cysteine (NAC), Acetyl L-Carnitine, L-Glutamine, L-Glutathione Tripeptides (Reduced), Lipoic Acid (R-Fraction), TMG (trimethylglycine), Peppermint Leaf (Mentha x Piperita), Ascorbic Acid and Natural Trace Minerals

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3651682/
Safety Survey of Intranasal Glutathione
Glutathione depletion has been documented in several disease states, and exogenous administration has been hypothesized to have therapeutic potential for some conditions. In an effort to reach target tissues of the sinuses and central nervous system (CNS), glutathione is being prescribed as an intranasal spray, although no literature exists to support this mode of administration.
Seventy (70) individuals returned the survey (23.3% response rate) from 20 different states. Reported indications for (in)GSH prescriptions were multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) (n=29), allergies/sinusitis (n=25), Parkinson disease (PD) (n=7), Lyme disease (n=3), fatigue (n=2), and other (n=10). Of the respondents, 78.8% (n=52) reported an overall positive experience with (in)GSH, 12.1% (n=8) reported having experienced adverse effects, and 62.1% (n=41) reported having experienced health benefits attributable to (in)GSH use. Over 86% of respondents considered the nasal spray to be comfortable and easy to administer.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC5877983/
Role of glutathione metabolism in host defense against Borrelia burgdorferi infection.
Supporting the in vitro analysis, we identified a cluster of GSH-related metabolites, the γ-glutamyl amino acids, specifically altered in patients with Lyme disease, and not in other infections. Lastly, we performed in vitro experiments to validate the role for GSH metabolism in host response against Bb. We found that the GSH pathway is essential for Bb-induced cytokine production and identified glutathionylation as a potential mediating mechanism. Taken together, these data indicate a central role for the GSH pathway in the host response to Bb GSH metabolism and glutathionylation may therefore be important factors in the pathogenesis of Lyme disease and potentially other inflammatory diseases as well.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/31785327
BBE31 from the Lyme disease agent Borrelia burgdorferi, known to play an important role in successful colonization of the mammalian host, shows the ability to bind glutathione.
Abstract
Lyme disease is a tick-borne infection caused by Borrelia burgdorferi sensu lato complex spirochetes. The spirochete is located in the gut of the tick; as the infected tick starts the blood meal, the spirochete must travel through the hemolymph to the salivary glands, where it can spread to and infect the new host organism. In this study, we determined the crystal structures of the key outer surface protein BBE31 from B. burgdorferi and its orthologous protein BSE31 (BSPA14S_RS05060 gene product) from B. spielmanii. BBE31 is known to be important for the transfer of B. burgdorferi from the gut to the hemolymph in the tick after a tick bite. While BBE31 exerts its function by interacting with the Ixodes scapularis tick gut protein TRE31, structural and mass spectrometry data revealed that BBE31 has a glutathione (GSH) covalently attached to Cys142 suggesting that the protein may have acquired some additional functions in contrast to its orthologous protein BSE31, which lacks any interactions with GSH. In the current study, in addition to analyzing the potential reasons for GSH binding, the three-dimensional structure of BBE31 provides new insights into the molecular details of the transmission process as the protein plays an important role in the initial phase before the spirochete is physically transferred to the new host. This knowledge will be potentially used for the development of new strategies to fight against Lyme disease.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/29673413
Epidemiol Infect. 2018 May;146(7):931-934. doi: 10.1017/S0950268818000420. Epub 2018 Apr 20.
Seven cases of probable endotoxin poisoning related to contaminated glutathione infusions.
Abstract
We report seven cases of probable endotoxin poisoning linked to contaminated compounded glutathione. Five of the cases were using the infusions for treatment of Lyme disease highlighting the risks of using compounded sterile preparations for unapproved indications, especially if the quality of source products cannot be assured.

https://www.fda.gov/...ile-injectables
FDA highlights concerns with using dietary ingredient glutathione to compound sterile injectables
FDA warned compounders on February 1, 2019, not to use glutathione L-reduced powder (L-glutathione) distributed by Letco Medical located in Decatur, Alabama, to compound sterile injectable drugs. FDA received a report concerning seven patients who received an injectable drug compounded with L-glutathione and experienced adverse events due to potentially high levels of endotoxins, a substance that may cause unintended health consequences ranging from fever to death. Exposure to inappropriate levels of endotoxin in a drug intended for injection raises safety concerns. As part of the investigation into the adverse events, FDA collected and analyzed samples of the L-glutathione powder. The following are the details on the adverse events the agency has received to date and the findings from FDA’s investigation.

https://www.ehealthm...e/side-effects/
Most common side effects over time *:
< 1 month:
⦁ Alanine aminotransferase increased
⦁ Blood albumin decreased
⦁ Bone marrow failure
⦁ Chest discomfort
⦁ Liver injury

1 - 6 months:
⦁ Actinomycosis (infection that causes sores, or abscesses)
⦁ Amylase increased
⦁ Blood glucose increased
⦁ Blood pressure fluctuation
⦁ Cystitis haemorrhagic (blood in the urine and painful voiding)
⦁ Drug ineffective
⦁ Drug-induced liver injury (diseases of the liver that are caused by physician-prescribed medications)
⦁ Febrile neutropenia (fever with reduced white blood cells)

pharmacokinetic properties:
⦁ There may be some absorption of glutathione intact from the intestines, but it cannot enter cells intact. It must be metabolized to form L-cystine (two molecules of L-cysteine bound together) before being taken up.
⦁ Provision of L-cysteine within the cell is all that is needed to increase glutathione synthesis, and ⦁ N-Acetylcysteine does this efficiently at a lower financial cost than glutathione.

In effect, glutathione is an indirect and expensive way to provide dietary L-cysteine. Dietary protein itself, including L-cysteine rich sources such as Whey Protein, are effective but inefficient ways to increase L-cysteine intake in the diet and N-Acetylcysteine is both more efficient and cheaper than glutathione.

Selenium supplementation increases the production of L-Cysteine however it only takes small amounts of selenium to cause a toxic reaction. Routine blood analysis is needed to monitor serum blood levels of selenium if supplements are used.

Alpha-lipoic acid (ALA) appears to have a role in promoting the synthesis of glutathione.

Glutathione, along with oxidized glutathione (GSSG) and S-nitrosoglutathione (GSNO), bind to the glutamate recognition site of the NMDA and AMPA receptors (via their γ-glutamyl moieties). GSH and GSSG may be neuromodulators.[21][22][23] At millimolar concentrations, GSH and GSSG may also modulate the redox state of the NMDA receptor complex.[22] Glutathione binds and activate ionotropic receptors, potentially making it a neurotransmitter.[24] Wiki

N-Acetylcysteine
https://www.healingw...?f=30&m=2806900
http://flash.lymenet...=1;t=089458;p=0
https://www.dcnutrit...ylcysteine-nac/

https://www.ncbi.nlm...m=Selenium Lyme
Crystallization and preliminary crystallographic analysis of BbCRASP-1, a complement regulator-acquiring surface protein of Borrelia burgdorferi.
Borrelia burgdorferi is the causative agent of Lyme disease. Serum-resistant strains of the pathogen are able to reduce the host's immune response to infection by recruiting fluid-phase complement regulators from the serum. Crystals of native and selenomethionine-substituted BbCRASP-1 have been obtained and a native data set to 2.7 A as well as selenomethionine MAD data to 3.2 A resolution have been collected. The selenium substructure has been solved and initial phases have been refined to 3.0 A by density-modification methods. Model building and refinement are under way.

Clarification. Lyme disease tends to complex with selenium making it less bioavailable.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3719580/
Manganese and Zinc Regulate Virulence Determinants in Borrelia burgdorferi
Abstract
Borrelia burgdorferi, the causative agent of Lyme disease, must adapt to two diverse niches, an arthropod vector and a mammalian host. RpoS, an alternative sigma factor, plays a central role in spirochetal adaptation to the mammalian host by governing expression of many genes important for mammalian infection. B. burgdorferi is known to be unique in metal utilization, and little is known of the role of biologically available metals in B. burgdorferi. Here, we identified two transition metal ions, manganese (Mn2+) and zinc (Zn2+), that influenced regulation of RpoS. The intracellular Mn2+ level fluctuated approximately 20-fold under different conditions and inversely correlated with levels of RpoS and the major virulence factor OspC. Furthermore, an increase in intracellular Mn2+ repressed temperature-dependent induction of RpoS and OspC; this repression was overcome by an excess of Zn2+. Conversely, a decrease of intracellular Mn2+ by deletion of the Mn2+ transporter gene, bmtA, resulted in elevated levels of RpoS and OspC. Mn2+ affected RpoS through BosR, a Fur family homolog that is required for rpoS expression: elevated intracellular Mn2+ levels greatly reduced the level of BosR protein but not the level of bosR mRNA. Thus, Mn2+ and Zn2+ appeared to be important in modulation of the RpoS pathway that is essential to the life cycle of the Lyme disease spirochete. This finding supports the emerging notion that transition metals such as Mn2+ and Zn2+ play a critical role in regulation of virulence in bacteria.

Clarification - Increased presence of Mn+2 increases the Lyme disease activity and Zinc+2 decreases the activity of Lyme disease. I would assume that is because zinc competes with Mn so any increase in zinc will lower Manganese levels. I will do more research on this.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/23376276
J Biol Chem. 2013 Mar 22;288(12):8468-78. doi: 10.1074/jbc.M112.433540. Epub 2013 Feb 2.
A manganese-rich environment supports superoxide dismutase activity in a Lyme disease pathogen, Borrelia burgdorferi.
Abstract
The Lyme disease pathogen Borrelia burgdorferi represents a novel organism in which to study metalloprotein biology in that this spirochete has uniquely evolved with no requirement for iron. Not only is iron low, but we show here that B. burgdorferi has the capacity to accumulate remarkably high levels of manganese. This high manganese is necessary to activate the SodA superoxide dismutase (SOD) essential for virulence. Using a metalloproteomic approach, we demonstrate that a bulk of B. burgdorferi SodA directly associates with manganese, and a smaller pool of inactive enzyme accumulates as apoprotein. Other metalloproteins may have similarly adapted to using manganese as co-factor, including the BB0366 aminopeptidase. Whereas B. burgdorferi SodA has evolved in a manganese-rich, iron-poor environment, the opposite is true for Mn-SODs of organisms such as Escherichia coli and bakers' yeast. These Mn-SODs still capture manganese in an iron-rich cell, and we tested whether the same is true for Borrelia SodA. When expressed in the iron-rich mitochondria of Saccharomyces cerevisiae, B. burgdorferi SodA was inactive. Activity was only possible when cells accumulated extremely high levels of manganese that exceeded cellular iron. Moreover, there was no evidence for iron inactivation of the SOD. B. burgdorferi SodA shows strong overall homology with other members of the Mn-SOD family, but computer-assisted modeling revealed some unusual features of the hydrogen bonding network near the enzyme's active site. The unique properties of B. burgdorferi SodA may represent adaptation to expression in the manganese-rich and iron-poor environment of the spirochete.

Clarification. High manganese activates Lyme Disease. Higher iron levels lowers manganese levels and deactivates activity of Lyme disease. As iron can collect to toxic levels in the blood easily routine blood sampling would been to be done to monitor serum iron levels.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/25709405
Drug Des Devel Ther. 2015 Feb 11;9:805-16. doi: 10.2147/DDDT.S77063. eCollection 2015.
Borreliacidal activity of Borrelia metal transporter A (BmtA) binding small molecules by manganese transport inhibition.
Abstract
Borrelia burgdorferi, the causative agent of Lyme disease, utilizes manganese (Mn) for its various metabolic needs. We hypothesized that blocking Mn transporter could be a possible approach to inhibit metabolic activity of this pathogen and eliminate the infection. We used a combination of in silico protein structure prediction together with molecular docking to target the Borrelia metal transporter A (BmtA), a single known Mn transporter in Borrelia and screened libraries of FDA approved compounds that could potentially bind to the predicted BmtA structure with high affinity. Tricyclic antihistamines such as loratadine, desloratadine, and 3-hydroxydesloratadine as well as yohimbine and tadalafil demonstrated a tight binding to the in silico folded BmtA transporter.  We, then, tested borreliacidal activity and dose response of the shortlisted compounds from this screen using a series of in vitro assays. Amongst the probed compounds, desloratadine exhibited potent borreliacidal activity in vitro at and above 78 μg/mL (250 μM). Borrelia treated with lethal doses of desloratadine exhibited a significant loss of intracellular Mn specifically and a severe structural damage to the bacterial cell wall. Our results support the possibility of developing a novel, targeted therapy to treat Lyme disease by targeting specific metabolic needs of Borrelia.

Comment - Desloratadine (trade name Clarinex and Aerius) is a tricyclic H1 antagonist that is used to treat allergies. It is an active metabolite of loratadine. Loratadine, sold over the counter under the brand name Claritin among others, is a medication used to treat allergies This includes allergic rhinitis (hay fever) and hives. An over the counter treatment for Lyme Disease by a common safe otc drug?

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/31271863
Protein Expr Purif. 2019 Nov;163:105447. doi: 10.1016/j.pep.2019.105447. Epub 2019 Jul 1.
Expression, purification and metal utilization of recombinant SodA from Borrelia burgdorferi.
A coupled enzyme assay demonstrates SOD activity in the presence of Mn, but not Fe.


Comment - Mn activates the infection by stimulating the metabolism and Fe (iron) lowers the metabolic rate.

https://www.ncbi.nlm...MC3828560/FrontCell Infect Microbiol. 2013 Nov 15;3:79. doi: 10.3389/fcimb.2013.00079. eCollection 2013.
Metal-dependent gene regulation in the causative agent of Lyme disease.
Bb is a unique bacterial pathogen because it does not require iron (Fe(2+)) for its metabolism. Bb encodes a ferritin-like Dps homolog called NapA (also called BicA), which can bind Fe or copper (Cu(2+)), and a manganese (Mn(2+)) transport protein,
Recent evidence demonstrates that Bb modulates the intracellular Mn2+ and zinc (Zn2+) content and, in turn, these metals regulate gene expression through influencing the Ferric Uptake Regulator (Fur) homolog Borrelia Oxidative Stress Regulator (BosR).

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/26480895
Mol Microbiol. 2016 Feb;99(3):586-96. doi: 10.1111/mmi.13251. Epub 2015 Nov 19.
The salt-sensitive structure and zinc inhibition of Borrelia burgdorferi protease BbHtrA.
Examination of the influence of transition metals on the activity of BbHtrA revealed that this protease is inhibited by Zn(2+) > Cu(2+) > Mn(2+).
 


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#1208 fishinghat

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 01:16 PM

The product you use is highly recommended and the NAC component should help with the withdrawal symptoms but your dose is very small. A 500 mg dose 1 to 2 times a day should not only help with he withdrawal but also the Lyme Disease. Something to think about. Glutathione may directly interfere with your neurotransmitter stability but I would think that to be minimal and the metabolites formed from it should help your symptoms.
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#1209 fishinghat

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 02:43 PM

https://www.lymedise...in-lyme-balf-2/
NEWS: Can Claritin help cure Lyme disease?

http://lymebook.com/...a-bmta-stanford
Claritin Kills Lyme Disease!


https://thewritersbl...e-it-kills-you/
Literature Review: Claritin May Kill The Lyme Disease
Excellant Overview


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#1210 fishinghat

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 04:50 PM

C8 MCT oil

 

Medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) are triglycerides with two or three fatty acids having an aliphatic tail of 6–12 carbon atoms, i.e., medium-chain fatty acids (MCFAs). Rich food sources for commercial extraction of MCTs include palm kernel oil and coconut oil.

 

C8 MCT oil is known as Caprylic acid or Octanoic acid .

 

A common tick repellant and some use as a weak antibiotic.

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC6360722/
Only paper found that suggests the use of Caprylic acid to treat Lyme Disease.
This paper did not find Caprylic acid effective a treatment but other essential oils did show promise.
Among all tested oils, Bay leaf oil and Cassia oil, with their major components eugenol and cinnamaldehyde, seem to have the highest anti-borreliae efficacy.

https://examine.com/supplements/mcts/
Caprylic acid is a mild stimulant.
It lowers dopamine levels.
Little research exists on this compound. Research is mixed in whether or not Caprylic acid raises or lowers blood triglycerides which can clog arteries in much the same way as cholesterol and may cause adverse cardiac events.

Do not see this as a contributor to withdrawal however it is unknown how much Caprylic acid lowers dopamine in humans.


#1211 invalidusername

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 07:26 PM

Hey brother...

 

Will write a bit here, but will reply more in the PM as there is more to say there I think.

 

I like the approach of the new p-doc. Sounds like he has got a good approach! I really do like a good analogy or metaphor like that sledgehammer! So good to not get a pill-pusher. Be nice to know what happens at the next session, but for now am very happy that you seem to have a good match there. Is very important as we all know.

 

Before I forget, I found a really good article online that was sitting in one of my open tabs that I had to make a point of copying and have put it up in a post here - is a really good read. A lot of it is stuff you will already know and agree with, but it is just good to see other Doctors putting across the same sort of things we talk about;

 

https://www.cymbalta...n-good-article/

 

I've also updated the eBook with a load more content... over 100 new pages! And a few quotes from LDN in this edition as well! You are famous man! Grab a copy;

 

https://www.cymbalta...tion-the-ebook/

 

Interesting how the anxiety has changed times, and that you have not had the 8pm onset for a bit. But there is a lot to consider after reading your PM, so I need to think on this - I really want to help you where I can brother.

 

Today has been good. Been taking things relatively slow and light. Had a great couple of hours at my friends as well. All the family were quite relaxed - which for three children, a cat and a dog is quite a lot to ask, but I was very glad. I'm doing well, but I really didn't need much excitement going on - and my typing is a lot slower tonight, I can really tell the difference.

 

Right - over to the PM section!

 

Much love brother

 

God Bless


#1212 LDN

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Posted 11 January 2020 - 10:54 PM

Hey man! So know that wired feeling you talk of, I have that tonight! Typing fast, making mistakes. So I will be a bit short as need to chill and wind down. The anxiety hit bad again today, but at about 4 30 pm ish. Then was there for most of the rest of the day and now as I say I am wired. I went on a 7 minute walk around the block, but was not feeling like going out at all. I actually really enjoyed the walk, so just shows the value of forcing yourself sometimes. It really did feel like it was eating me up earlier the anxiety, sucking all my energy. But considering the severity of it, I am really pleased with my reaction and how I am dealing with it. The fact I am so happy with how I am dealing with it gives me confidence and I can see I am learning so much from this. I feel a bit like I am in permanent state of tripping but keeping calm and steady. Keep on talking it back to what I can control and what I can't. Keep on talking it back to the plan. I am doing my best. If the decisions I am making re supplements are wrong, it is not for lack of effort. So that is all I can do. As long as I am trying my best to reduce the anxiety, then I can be at peace with myself, despite the biological chaos!! The extra energy comes in waves. That can be quite difficult to handle but in the long run is a good thing obviously. I am encouraged that my body can have such high energy levels, it shows what it is capable of. Obviously I would prefer a more stable process though! 

 

Really happy you had a good day and nice time with your friend, and her kids and the dog and cat!! And a massive well done for pacing yourself so well!! All in all things look really positive man!! 

 

Thanks for the article!! Look forward to reading when my brain is slightly less mental! Also I didn't know I was in the e book!! Look mum I am famous LOL!!! A massive well done for doing that e book!! Really inspiring and just another example of what an amazing difference you are making to this earth!! I am really in awe of you man!!! 

 

So much love brother!! 

 

God Bless!


#1213 fishinghat

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 09:43 AM

Hi LDN
 
I look forward to your opinion on  the Lyme Disease info. I was amazed on how much info was out there on how the pathogen uses manganese to run its metabolism and how zinc, iron and other metals can have an effect on pathogen survival yet I could find NO supplements for Lyme disease that contain any of these competing metals. There is also a large study on the use of Loratadine to successfully treat Lyme disease but no follow up research. There are many posts in the Lyme forums complaining on the lack of testing for these treatments.

 

I look forward to your input.


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#1214 invalidusername

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 07:41 PM

Evening brother...

 

Looks like you have a reply or two here, so will make this one a little shorter, but will reply to your PM during the day tomorrow. I need to reel in the brain activity as I was working on the car earlier today, which was great, but when I was putting the tools away, I knocked a high shelf and one of my heavy duty axle stands came down a couple of feet right onto my head. It knocked me sideways for a bit and I had to have a lay down. Got a bit of funny vision and ears are ringing - so need to be a bit careful.

 

I'm wondering if this extra energy from the C8 is counteractive insomuch that there is this unspent energy, which as we know can make anxiety. I need to think on it more, but there needs to be a balance here. But then you said your energy was been zapped - it is a real difficult one. 

 

You have got a great outlook on how to do this stuff, and your patience is truly inspiring. You know you have to do something, and you are getting the job done. I know you say you are amazed with how much I do with my work and the wife etc, but you have got something comparable with your health there. Just like me, I know that stuff has to be done which is what makes me do it - and you do to. But we both could just turn on our heel and walk away from it and let the suffering take over, but we will not let that be!

 

Has anyone reconsidered your diet? When was it last looked at? These things will change as your body changes, as the supplements change and so forth and there is so much there that can cause your energy levels to be all over the place. Food doing one thing, supplements doing another thing and the damn cymbalta doing whatever IT wants to do!!

 

Thanks for the compliments to the eBook. Obviously Hat does all the research parts and I do the compiling and moving around so it is easy to use for various purposes. But yes, just search for "LDN" and you will find a few of your bits mentioned!! 

 

Right - will come back with a PM tomorrow at some point. 

 

Much love brother

 

God Bless


#1215 LDN

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 10:45 PM

Hey brother absolutely no rush for the PM! You have a day of work tomorrow and I really want you to not push yourself. So as I say take your time and from me no pressure. I will be short as well tonight as my head is a bit spinning! Had pretty bad anxiety hit late afternoon and it rocked me. It was really hitting me hard. Man my head is so all over the place I almost forget to say I spoke to my Lyme doctor on Skype today. He told me to stop one of the supplements I had been taking, for the reason you mention of diet. He said I would have been getting so much in my diet it might be a bit of a overload. Also to say on the C8 MCT, as that was so crucial in reducing my anxiety before Christmas. He also said it would be good idea to try coming of the Chlorpromazine, as me and fishinghat have talked about. So that means the next few are potentially going to be very very bumpy. Also coming off the Chlorpromazine will give me another massive increase in energy. But both fishinghat and my Lyme doc feel it could be contributing to this spell of anxiety. So I am bracing my self for an interesting few weeks ahead LOL!!! But in a way if I was really stable then I would not want to change things, so it would be more annoying to come of the Chlorpromazine. So in a way this is a good time. I'll only know if it is the culprit by trying come off. Again I am having to experiment on myself which is not a great place to be, to be honest, but situation is so complicated it is the only way!! Man I could with a holiday!! A shell holiday - I swap my shell to a working one for a few weeks just to get a break. With the combination of extra energy and anxiety it is a bit manic to say the least right now. The C8 is gicing me extra energy which could cause anxiety but then when i was off the C8, my anxiety was completely out of control and it was only going back on it that kept me stable for Christmas. I was really really bad before I went back on it. So it is all really confusing. LOL!!! What a life man!!! 

 

But as I telly myself - I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE!!! Remember the big picture, let go and let the stream take you where it wishes! 

 

I am really sorry to hear about your head. That is not nice man, so well done for resting up. As I say take it easy and no pressure from my end! I think we both rest time at the moment! 

 

My asked after you tonight and I told you were doing really great, and are so inspiring to me!

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!


#1216 LDN

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 11:00 PM

Hi fishinghat! Firstly thank you so much for all that information! If you want I can get you a list of all the co infections I had with the Lyme? My blood tests show the Lyme to be very very low now, but it is the co infections that are being treated. Also my gut was in a horrific state when I first started seeing my doctor and that takes a long time to recover. All the stuff about metals is fascinating. In Germany I was meant to be some treatment for that, so I will get back to you on what exactly the treatment was. Incredible there are no supplements with the competing metals. 

 

I didn't know about the Loratadine. That is fascinating. Thank you for sharing that. 

 

When I was in Germany there were regular patients who came from USA. They came all that way for treatment!! They don't have hypothermia at the higher temperature in USA I think is the main reason. 

 

I didn't know i was bitten. I didn't get a bullseye rash. So when I tested positive for Lyme it would have been in body for a while. If you notice the tick bite, and get early treatment is much easier to treat. 

 

Also since I am back in London now, I am thinking of starting to reduce the Chlorpromazine as you suggested. How would you suggest I go about this? They are tablets, so can be cut up. I was thinking maybe start by taking 3/4 of a pill for a bit, then down to 1/2, then to a 1/4. I would be in interested in your suggestions. Thanks so much! 

 

Hope is all is well!

 

Love and God Bless to you and your wife!


#1217 LDN

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 11:02 PM

Hey brother absolutely no rush for the PM! You have a day of work tomorrow and I really want you to not push yourself. So as I say take your time and from me no pressure. I will be short as well tonight as my head is a bit spinning! Had pretty bad anxiety hit late afternoon and it rocked me. It was really hitting me hard. Man my head is so all over the place I almost forget to say I spoke to my Lyme doctor on Skype today. He told me to stop one of the supplements I had been taking, for the reason you mention of diet. He said I would have been getting so much in my diet it might be a bit of a overload. Also to say on the C8 MCT, as that was so crucial in reducing my anxiety before Christmas. He also said it would be good idea to try coming of the Chlorpromazine, as me and fishinghat have talked about. So that means the next few are potentially going to be very very bumpy. Also coming off the Chlorpromazine will give me another massive increase in energy. But both fishinghat and my Lyme doc feel it could be contributing to this spell of anxiety. So I am bracing my self for an interesting few weeks ahead LOL!!! But in a way if I was really stable then I would not want to change things, so it would be more annoying to come of the Chlorpromazine. So in a way this is a good time. I'll only know if it is the culprit by trying come off. Again I am having to experiment on myself which is not a great place to be, to be honest, but situation is so complicated it is the only way!! Man I could with a holiday!! A shell holiday - I swap my shell to a working one for a few weeks just to get a break. With the combination of extra energy and anxiety it is a bit manic to say the least right now. The C8 is gicing me extra energy which could cause anxiety but then when i was off the C8, my anxiety was completely out of control and it was only going back on it that kept me stable for Christmas. I was really really bad before I went back on it. So it is all really confusing. LOL!!! What a life man!!! 

 

But as I telly myself - I AM A SPIRITUAL BEING HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE!!! Remember the big picture, let go and let the stream take you where it wishes! 

 

I am really sorry to hear about your head. That is not nice man, so well done for resting up. As I say take it easy and no pressure from my end! I think we both rest time at the moment! 

 

My asked after you tonight and I told you were doing really great, and are so inspiring to me!

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!

 

IUN that was meant to say MY MUM asked after you! Sorry for the typo shows where my head is at right now!!!! LOL!!!!!!


#1218 fishinghat

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 11:24 AM

Hi IUN
 
I know that Lyme can be very devastating and deeply sympathize with what you have endured. The plan on reducing the Chlorpromazine seems reasonable. Only at doses of 1000 mg or more do they see significant withdrawal.

Ticks are very common here and if you are a person who farms, fishes, hunts or spend anytime outdoors it is not uncommon to get a half dozen tick bites each time you go out. Obviously there are a lot of precautions that you can take to avoid being bitten. I spend about 70 days a year outdoors and pick dozens of ticks off my clothing but usually only get one bite a year. I have even found ticks in my back yard and I live in the city.

#1219 fishinghat

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 11:26 AM

By the way this research has fascinated me from a physiological standpoint as the ingestions metabolism is a one of a kind situation. I will be reading up on advances in the research every 3 months and will let you know if I come across anything interesting.
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#1220 invalidusername

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 04:16 PM

Meh...

 

Hat...

 

..think the above was supposed to addressed to LDN!

 

I blame the Cymbalta. That should be a bumper sticker you know...


#1221 fishinghat

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 05:47 PM

Ahhh, This is LDN's thread so of course it is for him!!   lol

 

As my daddy always use to say....Don't listen to what I say, just listen to what I mean.

 

He was as screwed up as me and he never took Cymbalta.

 

:lol:


#1222 invalidusername

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:11 PM

All in those southern state genes of yours!! :)


#1223 invalidusername

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 06:35 PM

Hey brother...

 

Didn't push myself too much today, although the kitchen work going on in the upstairs flat didn't help from 8am this morning, but I was so tired that i still managed to sleep through some of it!! It is just the stop/start sleeping doesn't do well and makes me a little anxious with some strange dreams, but I felt OK once I was up and about with my green tea and some daylight.

 

I will go over to your PM in a minute, so will cover the basics here! I didn't know what could be done with your diet, but good to know that it is being considered. I also think trying to phase out the chlorpro is a good idea, not just because it is a med, but because I think you can find stability in yourself and the supplements, and of course after what I have been reading of what Hat has said about it. All considered I think this is a wise move - it is just a case of how to approach it for the least amount of issues.

 

Shell holiday!! Like it! I have this picture of a tortoise removing itself from its shell and having a good stretch!! Silly metaphor I know, but that is how strange my head can be sometimes! 

 

You missed the person who asked after me in your writing, but I am guessing it was your Mum as she has done previously. It is so nice for someone who only knows me by proxy to spare a thought - it is touching. And of course, if I can inspire you - as you do me - then all the better! 

 

Only did 6 hours today, outside of emails and forum stuff, so I cut back a bit, but still feel I need to do another couple of days like that to get the balance right. I have not had time to take some down time - but I am making sure I carry on with a minimal amount of meditation. Head is much better today, so I didn't feel the need for medical intervention. But all the same, will keep an eye on it as sometimes, things can take a while to manifest.

 

Much much love brother!

 

God Bless


#1224 LDN

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 10:55 PM

Hey man I won't be too long tonight since I sent you a PM and also I had to write an email to my p doc going over the last 4 weeks, in which time a fair bit has happened!!! So feel pretty tired!! 

 

Last night I listened to music for the 5th night out of 7! I haven't done something like that for years! I think it is the CB MCT! That gives you so much mental energy!! My Lyme doc did warn me to be fair!! Today has been ok actually. Felt tired mentally and physically but still managed 30 minutes in the garden, which I needed. Other than that just resting. Can't lie, the last time I tried coming of a med was the dulox and you how horrendous an experience that was, so I am really really nervous. But of course this drug is different to the dulox. Still I am very very scarred and traumatised by that event. We will see what happens. 

 

Ha man that didn't sound weird to me about the tortoise! Sort of thing I would have thought of!! 

 

Yeah it was my mum!! 

 

Really happy your head is feeling better and you are looking after yourself and showing yourself some self compassion! Well done man!! Sounds like you have a nice balance there! 

 

Lots of love brother! 

 

God Bless!


#1225 LDN

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Posted 13 January 2020 - 11:00 PM

Hi fishinghat! We have the ticks down in the countryside. Once one got to my dad's leg through a hole in pocket!! All his body was covered up. To have hem in the city wow!! Where I am they carry some really nasty co-infections as well, as I mentioned. I can list those if you are ever interested. 

 

My cousin and his wife went to Cape Cod and apparently there are loads around there. There were pretty scared after what happened to me!

 

Ok I will let you know when I start reducing the Chlorpromazine and how it goes. Thanks for your help!

 

God Bless!


#1226 fishinghat

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Posted 14 January 2020 - 09:40 AM

Applying a heavy layer of moisturizer to areas where ticks like to attach helps. They don't like the taste of ot so wont bite the area. Also, putting gasoline on your pants legs helps avoid the ticks latching on to your pants and walking around.


#1227 invalidusername

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Posted 14 January 2020 - 06:18 PM

Hey brother...

 

No worries whatsoever about the truncated reply. I know how well those emails can take the stuffing out of you. I have got my final therapy meet tomorrow morning so I need to somehow wind down and get to sleep earlier if I can. I am still needing around 9 hours at the moment because of all the extra work I am doing at the moment, so naturally I am worried what will happen if I take out too much. But it is the last time I will have to get up at stupid o'clock, brave the town and that big scary building!

 

This music stuff is going great - do you think it is like the reading stuff? That it has suddenly become less inflamed and you are able to get back to normal? I really can understand where you are coming from regarding the withdrawal having had to go through what you did. Should it help, I am in the exact same boat now with my Citalopram. I had the deal with my homeopath that once I had a good month that I would start lowering the down... well it's been nearly 3 months now!! But I am still so scared! I don't want any more tough... I have had 2 years of tough!! I want some peace!!!

 

I need to catch up on a few more posts here on the forum but should hopefully get to the PM section in a while. Head still has a lot going through it, but overall I am calmer. Bit concerned that my dreams are causing some very strange waking still. It might have something to do with the fact that I am being woken up by the noise so frequently in the morning. Oh poo. Speaking of which - I won't be able to wear my ear plugs tonight as I won't hear my alarm. No way. I am going to be woken and stay awake. No.... ah man, this is going to be a nightmare morning coming up. Not looking forward to this at all.

 

Big bit of meditation so I get as much peaceful sleep as possible I think - wish me luck!!

 

Much much love brother

 

God Bless


#1228 LDN

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Posted 14 January 2020 - 10:15 PM

Hey brother! Will have to write properly tomorrow. I had to write an email to my therapist as seeing her for the 1st time tomorrow for 4 weeks. Plus she has had to move me earlier, so I have to be up at 12 10, which for me is crazy early. I had my final session with my p doc who is going away on maternity leave today as well, so I had to get up early today too. The session went really well and I really enjoyed so that was good. Overall the rest of the day, just resting. A bit of anxiety as well. 

 

Sorry to hear about your morning tomorrow without the ear plugs. Really feel for you brother! But you are handling this so well!! I have to say that! From the outside you handling this brilliantly!! 

 

Yeah last time the music came back it was similar with the reading, up until my withdrawal which of course threw my system completely and brought on a major long term depression and then the music went for ages. 

 

Really hope tomorrow goes well man!! I will be praying!! 

 

Lots of love brother!! 

 

God Bless!


#1229 invalidusername

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Posted 15 January 2020 - 08:10 PM

Hey man...

 

Another crazy day again... and on 3 hours sleep! Was woken at 8am by the builders and nothing I could do. So just lay awake for a couple of hours before therapy and on it went from there. I really hope I can get some good rest tonight. I was hoping to blank out in front of a film or something, but no chance - still work to do, but much like last week, I need to start reeling it in. 

 

I am sure you must be feeling the same with the early start too and all those emails. So much for you to keep track of. Are you keeping logs of doses and supplements you are taking - like some sort of medication diary? I think I would have to. It would make me feel more in control. This is why I did my weekly/hourly charts for the last 2 years. I have only just stopped doing them as I feel medically I am much better, but if I need to, I will start up again. In fact, it might be the case when I start my withdrawal from Citalopram.

 

I was really wired about an hour ago and I just couldn't sit still - I was constantly having to do something.. to move. Not restless, jut wasn't comfortable unless I was doing something and was worried that I would get worse if I didn't calm, so I had a small dose of my special K - only a small dose, and it has done a great job. I am typing very slowly and not making mistakes and so much more relaxed!

 

Got to be honest with you brother - having spoken about the Citalopram, I am really worried about long term effects. I didn't mention the other day, but I was talking to a client and her father had the same happen as my father with the Parkinson's. She said that during her own spell, she avoided AD's like the plague for fear of the Parkinson's being genetic. This freaked me out a bit - it has been 12 years on various AD's and I know there are those who have been on them much more, but it is the whole genes thing. So little is known about it and seeing my dad and how he is now deteriorating, it really worries me.

 

Anyway - trying to merge the PM content back here - no problems about the following stuff - I know so little about social media. The wife usually helps with that, but it is all purely business. My personal guise won't make an appearance. I am already getting some very strange people chat with me and that is enough! And so lovely that your family and yourself found the right people and places! Gives my life a lot of fulfilment. So happy that it has all happened so well for you all. 

 

Right - time for a relaxed dinner and some meditation to hopefully aid a nice long sleep!!

 

Love you brother!

 

God Bless


#1230 LDN

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Posted 15 January 2020 - 11:22 PM

Hey brother crickey you did brilliant today considering just 3 hours sleep!!! I got about 7 and a bit and that was really tough to get by on. Plus I had a siesta as well for a 2 hours 20 minutes and still really tired. I had the early start and therapy went well. Then got back really early and wasn't sure what to do, as my routine was out of sync. So I did some tidying up of my room and my books and papers, which was quite tiring. Now I have a real headache and feel quite run down, so again I'm sorry this won't be the longest today. Need to give my brain a rest from screens!! 

 

I keep notes on my meds and have done for ages. For the reason you mentioned to have a record of it and been able to keep track of what I am doing. I actually make loads of notes. What time I go to bed and wake up, how many hours sleep I get, what I take my clonazepam, how long my siesta is, how long my walks are, how long I read, how long I listen to music LOL!!! Then I can see patterns and look back after few months and see what has changed. I have been doing this for years! 

 

I can understand you worry man, and trust me i have very much had the same thoughts and they caused me huge stress! I pushed myself beyond belief when off the dulox because I was so so desperate to not go back on. But I learnt the hard way that you have to be pragmatic. You have to take things slow and steady. There are so many potential things every day that we could worry about but ultimately we have to focus on what we can control. We can't control the past. We have to just live in the present moment and just focus on living as best we can right now. Trying our best and letting it be. This in turn will reduce our stress and lead us to feel better and be more healthy. So it's in the long term self interest of ours to not worry but be totally present. The task the day brings are enough for us to think about. As I say I was in a place where I was thinking about the future and driving myself crazy. When I let go and let things be, suddenly I started to improve. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Our lives our full of twists and turns and unexpected situations, things never work out how we think they will. So we have to just really embrace this present moment and give it our best and trust in the bigger picture and the divine plan for us. Remember this is just a human experience for us brother, and we are spiritual beings! This is my approach anyway to dealing with similar worries. 

 

Ok man headache getting to me here! Well done again for today but as you say definitely try and give yourself some self compassion and a bit of break to rest. I hope you have a nice evening brother! 

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!





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