401 replies to this topic

[xman]

Update on the rat studies I so dislike: MedScape's  Dr. John Marshall has come out to speak about the basic science. YAY  Though his area is firm in Oncology, he is right on point regarding the molecular biology--my opinion. I would copy/ paste the link but...I can't! Boohoo. It can be searched should one have the desire. It really has everything to do with how we get our medicines and the clinical trials. The rat models are archaic.

[Xanazul]

Seven weeks. Woke up two hous ago as usual: heart pounding, sweeting, some anxiety, muscle stiffness and aches...then, a two or more episodes, irritability and a sense of hopeless along the day. Not noticing any improvemet yet. Less or no chest pain and no hypertension crisis, but these do not count because is just alfa and beta blockers doing their job. Thank you all for being there.
PS: never had brain zaps, I feel kind of discriminated (trying to put a little humour, please don't feel bad the majority of you that have endured the experience)

[xman]

I too had a night filled with waking drenched in sweat and turning over like a pancake-ready for the cool down to cold and wet. Yikes! No matter, life goes on--to work I go and must convey the picture on "normal" self.  To all my forum friends, onward together we go!!

[Xanazul]

Eight weeks. Not many changes yet, but not in despair. I've managed to figure out couple of mechanisms to explain what a hell is going on (kind of easier for me, teaching and doing research in how our bodies work is the job I get paid for) and are designing couple of tests to se if I can prove it. Kind of weird being both the researcher and the subject of research. An experiment with me in the Petri dish so to say. Thank you all for being there.

[FiveNotions]

Hang in there, xanazul! It does get better! Keep us posted on the tests you try.....any new information is going to help all of us....

[Xanazul]

Having a bad day after the 8 weeks deadline. I've been both so hopeful that when reaching this moment things will be better and so fearful that they will not, that the ambivalence is killing me and possibly making things worse. Yesterday I said I was not desperate. Today I am. And hopeless. And anxious about this being depression relapse and not being able to live ever again free of anxiety, sadness, and medication. Of course all this adds up to the withdrawal itself and makes things even worse. You kind and loving people thanks for being there.

[FiveNotions]

8 weeks, yay! Look how far you've come, and don't go back!

That's pretty much how I was feeling at the 8 week marker, xanazul....good and hopeful one day, horrid and anxious the next....as I look back, I think it was really the mid-point in withdrawal and entry into recovery....things could have gone either way,with me being tempted to go back on the poison.....but the folks here encouraged me to wait just a few more days and to keep moving forward....and it did get better....the good days began to outnumber the bad ones....

This isn't a depression relapse xanazul....it's your body adjusting to life after cymbalta....and it's really hard for it to do....so just take it easy...one day, one hour, heck, one minute at a time....your body and brain just need time and patience to heal....

[TryinginFL]

Great post, FN!  (I am out of "likes"!)

[fishinghat]

Well xanazul I know you aren't feeling the best but the worst part is over. The next few weeks may still be rough but the few good days (and hours) will slowly come more frequently. When you have a good spell enjoy it but don't over do it. That always seems to make the next day worse. Hang in there and be patient.

[thismoment]

Xanazul

 

I agree with FN and Fishinghat. You are beyond the half-way point of the rough stuff. You will begin to see positive signs in the coming 4 weeks, and thereafter more good hours than bad.

 

From your work you understand the plastic nature of the brain; your brain was reshaped (physically) by the antidepressant experience, and it takes a long time for it to re-shape into a form that you can live with. 

 

Try to find distraction while you are healing and re-forming.

[carolberri]

I have been on Cymbalta for about 7 years, along with Trazadone, and a 1 mg Lorazapam and various other drugs to control my anxiety..

 

fear has always been my wake up alarm..Now it seems as if I am on a frozen spot..Everyday is the same..wake up..panic and work half 

 

the day to get myself down..then it is nearly time to take my meds at nighttime..I have always taken them before sleep..I want to come 

 

off but even taking 10 beads out every other day gives me body zarps..I jerk around before sleep, and if I loose sleep it is worst..I am 

 

so tired of being controlled by my drugs..I found this site and I want to thank you for accepting me as I need this information..Hopefully

 

I will get the answers that will help me come off without the horrible side effects. I tried before and had to go back on...Blessings to all

 

of us  

[thismoment]

Hi carolberri

Welcome.

Is your desire to come off just the Cymbalta?

With the anxiety you're getting, maybe the benzo is past its useful envelope, and you need a different one. Get the anxiety down first.

What dosage of Cymbalta- generic or not- how many beads per capsule?

[FiveNotions]

Welcome, carolberri! I'm glad you found us!

In addition to what TM said, my thought is that you're coming down too fast....regardless of how many beads in the capsule, etc if you're getting this reaction I'd suggest slowing down....some folks here have reduced by just one bead a day.....and, you can stay at a particular level until you stabilize....

You can get off the crapalta! Just give yourself time, be gentle with yourself...

Keep posting here, we'll do everything we can to help you!

[TryinginFL]

Welcome to the forum, carolberri!  I'm happy that you found us!  I agree with what has already been posted.  I have been off the Cymbalta for almost 4 months now, but did it "cold turkey" and don't recommend it.  There are many here who have done the bead counting gently and will chime in here to help you.

 

I wish you luck and please keep us updated as to your progress!

 

Liz

[carolberri]

thanks, I am going for the bead counting as per the suggestions above, I have tried to cold turkey and it never has worked, the symptoms are to horrifying as I have other issues and this is the only way..I freak out and wind up in the hospital..now my new dr has tried to tell me to stop taking and gave a ssri..I can't take those as they are the pills that put me in the hospital..I don't want to feel the symptoms of coming down..I don't want to wonder if it is the depression coming back..It is the most awful feeling..I will be reading up on everyone's experience, I hope I can do this, wish me luck

[FiveNotions]

Hehehe, you're right about the cold turkey approach! That's how I did it (lost my insurance, cldnt afford the poison).... It was hard beyond description....I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't found this forum....these folks talked me through every single withdrawal symptom, encouraged me and kept me from caving in and going back on the stuff..as of this Saturday I'll be off crapalta for five months..... I feel like I've been reborn....and feeling like this makes every bit of the withdrawal suffering worth it!

You can indeed do this....and you'll be so happy you did!

[Xanazul]

To be awakened 6 in the morning with the heart pounding, sweeting, nauseated, and anxiety rushing through all my aching body is quite unbearable, and it does not seems so be getting better at all. In fact I feel it is getting worse and wonder if the fear I have, to be awakened this way, may be increasing the effect itself. Any experience in feeling this bad early in the morning and how to cope? Also, has this been for any of you the big problem at any moment during withdrawal, as it is for me now? It was not that bad during the first 4 weeks, but it is definitively the worse of the symptoms for me, from that moment to now (eight weeks and three days). As always you may not, on second thoughts you surenly do, imagine how incredible helpful and conforting is to know about your experience, anf feel your willingness to share, advise and care. Thank you.

[thismoment]

Xanazul

 

Oh dear, I wish I could make it all go away this instant.

 

Control the anxiety via a benzo or other, and the introspective downward spiral thinking will diminish. You still may have a few weeks until this acute portion is behind you. 

 

You know what stress does, and anxiety is its engine.

[xman]

May luck and the good ppl. here help Carolberri.

[xman]

Xanazul-Yes I awaken and FORCE myself to stay in the bed. I use to get up at around 0430 on my days off. Fear and anxiety go hand in hand down the path to panic. As the wise folks before me have said, it is difficult to bare. Distraction are very helpful. But when you awake, listening to your heart pounding and all, how do you calm down? Sweating and heart palpitations have lessened to a degree for me--I get cold on the flip side.

 

Peace.

[Xanazul]

Carolberri,
As counterintuitive as it may sound, stop trying to reassure yourself about this not being a relapse into your previous anxiety/depression condition. You will end up with more anxiety, and eventually relapsing if you don't. This I've learned lately and is helping me.
Take care and live as TM, moment by moment.

[Wagtail]

Having a bad day after the 8 weeks deadline. I've been both so hopeful that when reaching this moment things will be better and so fearful that they will not, that the ambivalence is killing me and possibly making things worse. Yesterday I said I was not desperate. Today I am. And hopeless. And anxious about this being depression relapse and not being able to live ever again free of anxiety, sadness, and medication. Of course all this adds up to the withdrawal itself and makes things even worse. You kind and loving people thanks for being there.

I felt just like this & thanks to the great people on here they talked me through it . I was truly thinking that the depression / anxiety / panic had returned because I had stopped taking the CRAPALTA .. But I used a small dose of benzo to settle me down & now a few weeks on & yesterday I had my best day since I stopped almost cold turkey 5 months ago .

You will feel like this too ... Your medication now is TIME ... You will get better .. Don't get desperate get even .. Get mad & tell the side effects to get lost .. You are stronger than they are , & don't forget that mate...

I found it helped me to accept each & every s/e & challenge them one by one ...& believe me there were lots of them & they caused pain , both mental & physical .
Today I am medication free except for a small dose of Zanax when absolutely needed .

If I can do this than so can you .. Stay strong ..:-)

[Xanazul]

Wagtail, thank you so much. I know from what I've read here that you have gone through very tough times. This makes your advise even more valuable. Hopefully we will find each other living the same peaceful life soon. Good night from Spain.

[carolberri]

well now taking 7 out..see how that works..I just don't want to feel anything...I will crash easily, I know me...little nauseated today, tired, outer space feeling and can't stand this heat.outside is 90 degrees with 3% humidity...dust has been blowing..can't leave my air conditioner..I keep forgetting where I am posting..I have read here about the hell after coming off...hope I can go through with this, I have tried before and failed...any one, am I doing the right thing,,going this slow..7 beads for a week and 8 next week and so on, for a total for one 60 equaling 540 beads..9 beads = 1 milligram..can't even do the math on this. all this I found that out here, so I have a long road..then a relapse?..so long as I know, then I won't think I am going crazy...getting nothing done but sitting around..arg..and why am I having all this muscle pain...? sorry my brain is scattered all over the place...like my posts..

[Xanazul]

Nine weeks.
I will not say I see the light at the end because I do not but, I little more hope and some small improvements:
*Low or not nausea
*Less or none sweeting
*Less chest pain
*No headaches
*My sex life is completely back
In the bad side:
*Awakening and mid afternoon anxiety continues to be bad.
*Most days the flu-like symptoms strike badly
*Muscle pain: neck, shoulders and the excruciating pain in my right arm (I wonder why just in this arm and nowhere else)
*Moments of intense, tearful sadnesss.

Am I doing something different from just complain? YES
*Restarting my mindfulness training (I've tried three years ago, but never completed the eight weeks training) and committed to carry on to the end and for the rest of my life if necessary in order to rewire my brain.
*Getting very early to my office (since I am waking up 5 in the morning I rather do this that continuing fighthing the anxiety lying in bed) going to the beach (did I ever said I live in the Canary Islands) in the afternoon a couple of hours, coming back walking (Sixty minutes more), shower, work until 19:00.
*Do not believe very much in the effectiveness ( I must admit to be byassed, because I've not been able to find any entry in pubMed), but I am giving a trial nevertheless to the isochronic tones (the ones that are supposed to reduce the stress) which I leave on while sleeping.
Thank you all for being there and for listening.

[thismoment]

Xanazul

 

I see you are enjoying some small improvements, and while that may not be a bright light at the end of the tunnel, it's still light!

 

I think Mindfulness leads to a life with less stress and therefore less anxiety. I think anxiety gets stronger when resisted. And I think intense, tearful sadness is most beneficial when it's allowed to run completely free and bottom out. It's a cleansing experience, and there's an exit at the bottom.

 

This withdrawal experience may be viewed as a transition between what was, and what will be, and I am really impressed that you consider Mindfulness a critical element in the re-wiring of your brain. You have to re-wire it anyway, and it's profoundly wise to chose Mindfulness as the core foundation and philosophy for that training.

 

It's only nine weeks, but your mood has continued to rise. Hopefully the brighter lights will appear sooner than later!

[gail]

Xanazul, it will get better. Believe it or not, it will. I am 10 weeks and a half in withdrawal.

 

Just had 4days of feeling much much better anxiety wise and depression wise, still very tired.

Mornings are getting much better, still have this uneasy feeling when I wake up, but compared to 10 days ago, improvement is almost dramatic.

 

Tonite, again, I experienced a bit of depression, letting the tears flow helps. Wax and wane, love this.

 

I take 3 small doses of ativan, and I would skip the afternoon one, I take it not to go in withdrawall.

I usually cant wait for it, so anxiety stricken, and now I have to think about taking it, that is for myself great improvement.

 

You'll get there, sooner than later.

[Carleeta]

Xanazul....Sounds like you are experiencing some great improvements and wonderful mind control...Keeping up the strong determination of stimulation in your mind will reprogram the negative and bring forth the positive. ..Best of luck to you!

[Xanazul]

So sad today!
I wish could cry, but tears are kind of locked into my chest, my eyes and all my body and will nor come easy to free me from this overpowering sadness.
I guess I Must be careful when getting in touch with hurtful things from the past as I've done today.

[fishinghat]

Xanazul, These emotional sensitivities are common as you probably know. It would be wonderful if we could just stay in a nice safe world until the course is run. Unluckily the world often has other plans. lol Do the best you can  on keeping the stress down and hang in there. You are doing fine with all things considered.

 

Good luck